Good article! We need more like this one. Unfortunately, it will not change people’s mind on the subject: short men will agree, women with 6′ 4″ boyfriends will protest ans say height doesn’ t matter and tall guys will laugh at it.
It’s a social fact, not an opinion. My best friend is 6′ 5″ and I’m 5’7″. He was always successful with girls while I was almost always rejected, yet…I was more good looking than him and had Sly’s body. He was fat and losing his hair. I could beat him up with one hand.
But in naive twenties, I never thought girls were so superficial and automatically selecting the taller guy!
Women often complain that men are only attracted by their physical attributes. What a crap! Yes, men do look at a woman’s body but they don’t automatically reject her because she is only 34a…but women will often reject a guy under 6′.
My conclusion: women are extraordinarily superficial and they will do anything to hide it.
Thanks Luke. Your honesty is appreciated and it’s great you were willing to share you opinion despite others including women would fight you on it.
His comment was left on an earlier post which is being re-written or deleted (depending if it’s fixable or worth fixing).
It’s been chosen because there’s an attractive lesson to be learned here and it’s not just for the shorter guys wanting to succeed with women or believe their shorter height is stopping them.
People will always try to hide things from the opposite sex what they don’t like about themselves.
That’s a point probably not worth discussing however it does point out that since being short is NOT something which can be hidden it certainly makes the short guy feel helpless.
Thus making him a little more angry, frustrated, and more likely to see what’s really going on beneath the surface.
What makes the problem worse or reinforces the negativity is when you might consistently notice that taller women want really tall guys and really short girls want really tall guys thus leaving you (as a shorter guy) with a sample size of about one out of thousand who would date you.
Back in my 20’s I would’ve totally agreed with you and yes, there are definitely some superficial women out there.
But now I often refrain from generalizing and I’ve actually met a few men who would never date a woman with small breasts. It goes both ways.
Maybe it was my first experience when I actually realized all I had to do was engage her emotions, make her feel like a woman when she was around me and like magic – nothing else mattered.
The little things I thought would doom me to fail were erased and replaced with the concept of “choosing to believe.”
Here’s what I mean.
Just the same as a woman can talk herself into staying with a guy who is causing hr real emotional or physical harmful – she can talk herself into being with a guy despite the fact she’s always dreamed of looking “up” to her perfect man.
We’re ALL superficial in a way.
It’s practically unavoidable BUT IF we focus on how we fit into someone’s else’s superficial goals or how we can’t possibly build ourselves with that image in mind, then we’re missing something more important…
How we make someone feel will almost always be more effective and can without a doubt transcend social, family, and yes even national values.
It’s very safe to assume our emotions as part of being human is what drives us everyday.
Even the most stoic man was made that way (probably) from some early childhood event which caused him to shut himself out from the world.
Therefore it’s reasonable to assume – for a woman to choose a shorter guy over a taller guy, he has to make her feel something the “non-heightened challenged” man can not.
I thought hard about what you wrote and though it seemed clear to me, you may have missed even what your words actually said.
“He was always more successful with girls but he wasn’t as buffed out or as good-looking.
He wasn’t strong.
He was fat and going bald.”
And yet you believed, because he was tall, she overlooked it all.
You mention this guy who is clearly not dark and handsome yet he was amazingly successful with women.
Wouldn’t you agree then there had to be something else going on?
Something more than just his size.
I’m going to get a little harsh here. Not because I claim to know you because I don’t… but because I’ve been you.
I’ve shared your attitude and your views. I certainly (at a very sad time in my life) believed women were in fact superficial and it made me so angry I would literally pound my fists against the wall.
But then I realized part of what was holding me back is also holding you back. and that is
It’s the belief in her superficiality (or all women being superficial) which is stopping you.
You can not attract a “real” woman by putting her down or making her feel like she’s some shell with nothing inside.
You can never get in touch with her emotions if you do in fact believe they don’t exist or that she’ll gladly put them aside to find herself with a taller man.
To get inside her heart you must first realistically believe it exists.
I know, sounds easier than done. I understand it’s never enough just to say it. You actually have to believe it.
And in order to that your mindset has to change. Just like mine did (thankfully) so many years ago.
Another thing that has to change is the blinders must come off.
You see us guys have an amazing ability to focus our minds to a narrow point and or place. It helped us become who we are today.
But it also has a downside.
That narrow view means when we focus on the negative – the superficial – the tall with the short – the woman with the hot guys – well then that’s all we are ever going to see.
Those cute little couples of the same height will blend into obscurity to never be seen.
Or the taller not-so-pretty guy with the short girl we want will only ever be seen as a height thing.
When chances are that big oaf of a guy probably has a heart of gold AND he knows how to really connect with her to make her feel like something special and unique.
Something beyond a superficial fool who only wants to look better in front of her friends.
Let’s be totally honest here.
What you said DOES happen.
Some women do look on the shallow end hoping to find something deeper only to bang their head in frustration on the bottom.
Over and over again.
Some men will put their narrow view of what a women is supposed to look like or her age as their first criteria in selecting a date. Only to find the same pattern of “hotties” stacked like Lego Blocks. Each one just the same as the last.
I am guilty myself of turning down a kind heart because I wasn’t sexually attracted to her.
But when you consider the complexity of who we are…
When you consider how our feelings and what we experience in our world will ALWAYS drive our hearts towards the good and sometimes bad.
Then you must admit…
There is something more going on which goes well beyond a simple choice of choosing the taller man over the shorter guy because he’s six inches taller.
Women DO want to look up to their man of choice just as much as you want to respect a woman after she goes down on you.
However in no way does it ever mean he has to be taller than her.
It simply means you have to make her feel something beyond the ordinary.
Something she can not put her finger directly on but she knows without much doubt that it just feels right.
The lesson hopefully learned today…
Being superficial and choosing others based on shallowness is certainly NOT reserved to just women. Men are just as guilty.
Generalizing is often just a way to prove ourselves right when deep down, we know it’s feels wrong. There’s no real proof here.
Lots of men (based on the scientific theory of males) are given the ability to focus on one thing.
This focus, when directed on negative thoughts or generalizations makes it much more difficult to see what it actually happening.
What you “choose to believe” is what you will see and that’s good news because it also means you can “choose” to believe in something which will help you attract women.
You must not look at others success and compare it to your failures as a means to justify your beliefs because you just don’t know how it all happened or who those people really are.
Women can talk themselves into staying in bad harmful situations then they certainly can convince themselves to overlook a man’s height BUT…
You MUST make her feel something for you in order for that to happen.
You can not convince her to feel something but you CAN make her feel attracted to you despite your height.
Your shortness or stature problem is not the problem – it’s the beliefs you hold which is the REAL problem.
“You can … overcome your limited belief of being short.
You CAN stop yourself from using it as an excuse of your past failures with women.
You too can finally learn to get past your height issues and ATTRACT lots of women, tall and short.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of changing how you think by reversing your beliefs and spinning them in a new, positive way.”
The first step (in this case) to get women to start feeling something for you is to stop assuming all women are superficial… again you will NEVER connect with a woman’s heart if you assume she doesn’t have one or is CHOOSING to ignore it.
The second step is changing what YOU choose to believe – to replace an old mindset with something new and more correctly based on reality and not the narrow-focused perceptions you live with today.
Thanks again for leaving us all with something more to think about.
It’s certainly helped to shed some light on being superficial and the typical plight or problem or beliefs of the shorter guy.
“If you are a confident guy – meaning, you have STRENGTH of personality and that it doesn’t matter overly much to you what a woman thinks of you – then it LITERALLY CEASES TO MATTER, for her AND for you, whether you’re tall, short, rich, poor, or whether you exterminate bugs for a living.”