What IS surprising is that before I started DiaLteG TM I had no idea that women even had this problem.
It was my belief that men were destined to chase women and “they” held all the power and made all the decisions on who to feel attracted to or decide to date.
Being wrong is not always fun but it does always offer an opportunity to learn and grow. Once that is done you can SHARE the information to better enhance another person’s experience.
In this case – it’s about women, the friend’s zone, questions and real answers about attraction, and most importantly – making you HAPPY so you’ll attract HAPPIER people into your life and eliminate the friends zone from your dating life.
First – if you don’t understand HOW and WHY a guy puts you in the friends zone, read this:
“A man will NEVER, for all practical situations, put a woman in the strictest friendship role IF he’s is physically attracted to her. He may keep her around as a friend, but will (depending on circumstances) be more open to something happening between them.”
Here are a few simple questions you should answer for yourself (or below) about the guys who have wanted you but you felt little or no attraction for:
- Can a guy BUY his way into your heart?
- Can he CONVINCE you to feel something you’re not?
- Can he ROMANCE you relentlessly to capture your heart?
- Can he PUSH you into a relationship you’re not ready for?
Tell me you haven’t had a guy or multiple men who have tried ALL of those on you – and it didn’t work. It didn’t change how you FELT.
His actions only pushed you further away probably to the point they become annoying.
It’s the unfortunate many of the mistakes lots of guys make which is clearly defined in the popular and truthful post: Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women – Common Mistakes to Avoid and further proven with regards to “friendships & romance” in this article: What Women HATE Most About Single Guys & 7 Reasons She Why Won’t Like You.
As a woman – you know it’s true.
You might have never been able to put it in to words or define your feelings but in your gut, you know it’s right on.
There are clearly differences between men and women beyond the physical looks but when it comes to creating or triggering attraction – the same holds true.
Try to romance a guy into liking you if he’s not feeling attracted to you and it feels creepy and repels him even more.
Try to buy your way into a guy’s heart and you’ll only offend him and make him feel less than a man PLUS you’re only telling him you only feel your most valuable asset is your money. Not good.
Try to convince a guy to like you and he’ll only get sick of seeing you. He’ll avoid you at no end because it feels awkward, pressured and weird.
Try to push a guy into a relationship and you’ll only push him further away. He’ll feel pressured and even more hesitant.
You can just MAKE someone feel something like attraction (or change his mind) by using any of those tactics as it fully described in this post: Can A Woman Change Your Mind Or Make You Like Her?. (Give it a read when you’re done with this one.)
“That secret comes down to the reality that if a man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to confess her love, convince him to like her and court her, BACKFIRE.”
Here’s a profound but confusing statement but no worries, all will be explained so keep reading:
Friendly inhabitants appear to act or react the same way when it comes to wanting someone who doesn’t want them back.
They ask the same pointless questions.
They look for ANY sign of hope to keep them going and if they find it, cling to it for as long as they feel an overwhelming attraction to the person who doesn’t feel the same way.
They come to conclusions which keep them from moving on like,
“What if we were meant to be together!!!”
They rationalize the past and blame themselves,
“What did I do wrong?”
“Why am I attracted to men I can not have?”
I’ve been guilty of giving advice to help everyone rid themselves of the friend zone. I’ve given post after post explaining every aspect of it but that’s because I’m a self-declared expert on it.
I have studied this problem immensely AND I lived in it for more years than most will ever have to endure.
I understand the disparity.
I understand how it feels like someone or something is NOT letting us have what we want.
I understand how it feels to believe another person was meant for us and how we’re destined to never have it happen.
I also understand that no amount of ‘hope’ can or will ever change the situation.
The reality is this:
When women are stuck in the friends zone she’s not asking the right questions therefore she’ll NEVER find a helpful answer.
She’s only asking questions which will ultimately give her the answer she wants to hear.
Some want to hear it’s because she’s not attractive enough.
Some want to hear how she did everything wrong.
Some want to hear it’s him not her so they can feel better about themselves.
The real questions which must be asked are without a doubt the toughest ones to answer and in part is why they’re never asked.
If you ask these questions – the answer can and will help you remove any and all limited beliefs you have about the reality of the friends zone – and how to escape it too.
- “Why am I not dating other men?”
- “Why do I get stuck on one guy when there’s so many more men out there?
- “Why am I taking his lack of attraction to me personal?”
- “What can I do to avoid this situation again?”
- “How can I attract more men in my life to so I’ll have more choices?”
- “Why does it feel like I actually enjoy being unhappy?”
And here’s the biggest of them all that many of you have not ever considered…
- “Why do I feel this guy can or will make me happy when he is not doing that now?”
The last question puts this entire friend zone into a perspective most refuse to look at because it hurts to even think about it.
If you are unhappy because someone does not feel attracted to you, what makes you believe you will suddenly become happy if you could make them feel attracted to you?
You just don’t know the answer until it happens and since you have not succeeded in making it happen… you may never know the answer.
The misery will continue as long as you believe that this one person who can make you happy… will someday somehow suddenly start feeling it for you.
Escaping the friends zone is a hard task. Not just for men – but for anyone. The reasons why are endless.
ALL you can ever hope to accomplish which is by far possible for ANYONE to do IF they work on the right things is to ELIMINATE THE FRIENDS ZONE.
You don’t ESCAPE it. You AVOID getting in it in the first place.
First by distracting yourself from the man you’re attracted to and focusing on developing a happier stronger more fulfilled and complete YOU.
Give him space and take some time for YOU.
Secondly by learning how attraction works for guys and understanding the simple yet complex ways in which attraction works.
You might think you know all about how a man feels attraction for a woman but most women don’t. If you believe it’s all about how you look or your physical attraction – you’re wrong.
“Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks. Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.”
Lastly by “re-introducing” this new awesome more complete and happy woman you created for yourself to the world of men AND through changing how you interact with ALL men.
You don’t even have to re-haul yourself. You don’t have to re-invent yourself.
You just need to take care of the things which were putting you in the friends zone before AND you MUST learn a new way of interacting with men.
How you communicate with men makes all the difference in the world and separates you from being the love of his life to becoming JUST his friend.
That’s the plan and it works!
Sure you can try “tactics” or “techniques” developed to get you the ONE man you’re feeling the most for and if that’s what you want – here’s the ONLY one for woman out there:
“Capture the heart of a man who says he ‘just wants to be friends’ and have him think it was his idea to make me his girlfriend.
It works even if you think you’re not his type! Spark the interest of the one man you’ve always wanted but have never been able to get to commit… Until Now!”
Make sure you know what questions to ask yourself first.
Make sure you answer them as honestly and objectively as you can.
Make sure you understand what was shared with you today is the REAL truth about the friends zone from a guy who spent most of his life in it.
Make sure you find every real available means to make yourself happy and complete FIRST and continue to date, date, and do some more dating.
The do all those and the friends zone will disappear from your life with men.
YOU will finally be in CHARGE of this part of your life.
You will finally have the control you seek over the parts of your life which you have felt helpless in the past or where it felt like something outside of you was deciding YOUR fate.
Thanks for stopping by today.
Today’s post was more inspirational than informative but there’s still a lot which could be learned. Hopefully you’ve take away enough to get you headed in the right direction.
If you have any comments, questions, remarks, experiences you’d like to share, or some helpful tips and advice for your fellow woman – make sure you leave them below before you go.
Since the transition to making DiaLteG TM just for men I strongly encourage and suggest you take a good look at my “only for women” – “all about guys” website appropriately named Why Do Guys…?You’ll find lots of great stuff on understanding men there.
Your second choice and a great opportunity would be to look at the articles at the approach I’ve written for women. The Approach – For Women Category.