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Are You Happy? Questions About Attraction and The Disappearing Friend Zone

in For Women, Friends Zone
Women Friends Stuck Happy Escape

It’s not surprising that many women who find themselves stuck in some guy’s friends zone are not happy about it.

What IS surprising is that before I started DiaLteG TM I had no idea that women even had this problem.

It was my belief that men were destined to chase women and “they” held all the power and made all the decisions on who to feel attracted to or decide to date.

Being wrong is not always fun but it does always offer an opportunity to learn and grow. Once that is done you can SHARE the information to better enhance another person’s experience.

In this case – it’s about women, the friend’s zone, questions and real answers about attraction, and most importantly – making you HAPPY so you’ll attract HAPPIER people into your life and eliminate the friends zone from your dating life.

First – if you don’t understand HOW and WHY a guy puts you in the friends zone, read this:

“A man will NEVER, for all practical situations, put a woman in the strictest friendship role IF he’s is physically attracted to her. He may keep her around as a friend, but will (depending on circumstances) be more open to something happening between them.”

Two Big Reasons Why & How You As A Woman, End Up In His Friends Zone

Here are a few simple questions you should answer for yourself (or below) about the guys who have wanted you but you felt little or no attraction for:

  • Can a guy BUY his way into your heart?
  • Can he CONVINCE you to feel something you’re not?
  • Can he ROMANCE you relentlessly to capture your heart?
  • Can he PUSH you into a relationship you’re not ready for?

Tell me you haven’t had a guy or multiple men who have tried ALL of those on you – and it didn’t work. It didn’t change how you FELT.

His actions only pushed you further away probably to the point they become annoying.

It’s the unfortunate many of the mistakes lots of guys make which is clearly defined in the popular and truthful post: Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women – Common Mistakes to Avoid and further proven with regards to “friendships & romance” in this article: What Women HATE Most About Single Guys & 7 Reasons She Why Won’t Like You.

As a woman – you know it’s true.

You might have never been able to put it in to words or define your feelings but in your gut, you know it’s right on.

There are clearly differences between men and women beyond the physical looks but when it comes to creating or triggering attraction – the same holds true.

Try to romance a guy into liking you if he’s not feeling attracted to you and it feels creepy and repels him even more.

Try to buy your way into a guy’s heart and you’ll only offend him and make him feel less than a man PLUS you’re only telling him you only feel your most valuable asset is your money. Not good.

Try to convince a guy to like you and he’ll only get sick of seeing you. He’ll avoid you at no end because it feels awkward, pressured and weird.

Try to push a guy into a relationship and you’ll only push him further away. He’ll feel pressured and even more hesitant.

You can just MAKE someone feel something like attraction (or change his mind) by using any of those tactics as it fully described in this post: Can A Woman Change Your Mind Or Make You Like Her?. (Give it a read when you’re done with this one.)

“That secret comes down to the reality that if a man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to confess her love, convince him to like her and court her, BACKFIRE.”

A Secret About Men Women Do Not Know – The Paradox Of Attraction

Here’s a profound but confusing statement but no worries, all will be explained so keep reading:

Friendly inhabitants appear to act or react the same way when it comes to wanting someone who doesn’t want them back.

They ask the same pointless questions.

They look for ANY sign of hope to keep them going and if they find it, cling to it for as long as they feel an overwhelming attraction to the person who doesn’t feel the same way.

They come to conclusions which keep them from moving on like,

“What if we were meant to be together!!!”

They rationalize the past and blame themselves,

“What did I do wrong?”

“Why am I attracted to men I can not have?”

I’ve been guilty of giving advice to help everyone rid themselves of the friend zone. I’ve given post after post explaining every aspect of it but that’s because I’m a self-declared expert on it.

I have studied this problem immensely AND I lived in it for more years than most will ever have to endure.

I understand the disparity.

I understand how it feels like someone or something is NOT letting us have what we want.

I understand how it feels to believe another person was meant for us and how we’re destined to never have it happen.

BUT…

I also understand that no amount of  ‘hope’ can or will ever change the situation.

The reality is this:

When women are stuck in the friends zone she’s not asking the right questions therefore she’ll NEVER find a helpful answer.

She’s only asking questions which will ultimately give her the answer she wants to hear.

Some want to hear it’s because she’s not attractive enough.

Some want to hear how she did everything wrong.

Some want to hear it’s him not her so they can feel better about themselves.

However…

The real questions which must be asked are without a doubt the toughest ones to answer and in part is why they’re never asked.

If you ask these questions – the answer can and will help you remove any and all limited beliefs you have about the reality of the friends zone – and how to escape it too.

  • “Why am I not dating other men?”
  • “Why do I get stuck on one guy when there’s so many more men out there?
  • “Why am I taking his lack of attraction to me personal?”
  • “What can I do to avoid this situation again?”
  • “How can I attract more men in my life to so I’ll have more choices?”
  • “Why does it feel like I actually enjoy being unhappy?”

And here’s the biggest of them all that  many of you have not ever considered…

  • “Why do I feel this guy can or will make me happy when he is not doing that now?”

The last question puts this entire friend zone into a perspective most refuse to look at because it hurts to even think about it.

If you are unhappy because someone does not feel attracted to you, what makes you believe you will suddenly become happy if you could make them feel attracted to you?

You just don’t know the answer until it happens and since you have not succeeded in making it happen… you may never know the answer.

The misery will continue as long as you believe that this one person who can make you happy… will someday somehow suddenly start feeling it for you.

Escaping the friends zone is a hard task. Not just for men – but for anyone. The reasons why are endless.

ALL you can ever hope to accomplish which is by far possible for ANYONE to do IF they work on the right things is to ELIMINATE THE FRIENDS ZONE.

You don’t ESCAPE it. You AVOID getting in it in the first place.

First by distracting yourself from the man you’re attracted to and focusing on developing a happier stronger more fulfilled and complete YOU.

Give him space and take some time for YOU.

Secondly by learning how attraction works for guys and understanding the simple yet complex ways in which attraction works.

You might think you know all about how a man feels attraction for a woman but most women don’t. If you believe it’s all about how you look or your physical attraction – you’re wrong.

“Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks. Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.”

Avoid These Ten Mistakes With Men To Get The Love Life of Your Dreams

Lastly by “re-introducing” this new awesome more complete and happy woman you created for yourself to the world of men  AND through changing how you interact with ALL men.

You don’t even have to re-haul yourself. You don’t have to re-invent yourself.

You just need to take care of the things which were putting you in the friends zone before AND you MUST learn a new way of interacting with men.

How you communicate with men makes all the difference in the world and separates you from being the love of his life to becoming JUST his friend.

That’s the plan and it works!

Sure you can try “tactics” or “techniques” developed to get you the ONE man you’re feeling the most for and if that’s what you want – here’s the ONLY one for woman out there:

“Capture the heart of a man who says he ‘just wants to be friends’ and have him think it was his idea to make me his girlfriend.

It works even if you think you’re not his type! Spark the interest of the one man you’ve always wanted but have never been able to get to commit… Until Now!”

Get out of the friend zone and into his committed arms, watch this video now!

BUT PLEASE…

Make sure you know what questions to ask yourself first.

Make sure you answer them as honestly and objectively as you can.

Make sure you understand what was shared with you today is the REAL truth about the friends zone from a guy who spent most of his life in it.

Make sure you find every real available means to make yourself happy and complete FIRST  and continue to date, date, and do some more dating.

The do all those and the friends zone will disappear from your life with men.

YOU will finally be in CHARGE of this part of your life.

You will finally have the control you seek over the parts of your life which you have felt helpless in the past or where it felt like something outside of you was deciding YOUR fate.

Thanks for stopping by today.

Today’s post was more inspirational than informative but there’s still a lot which could be learned. Hopefully you’ve take away enough to get you headed in the right direction.

If you have any comments, questions, remarks, experiences you’d like to share, or some helpful tips and advice for your fellow woman – make sure you leave them below before you go.

Since the transition to making DiaLteG TM just for men I strongly encourage and suggest you take a good look at my “only for women” – “all about guys” website appropriately named  Why Do Guys…?Why Do Guys HeaderYou’ll find lots of great stuff on understanding men there.

Your second choice and a great opportunity would be to look at the articles at the approach I’ve written for women. The Approach – For Women Category.

About the author: Hey! What’s up? Peter White. If you’re having trouble figuring women out and what it takes to attract them, sign up to DiaLteG TM and learn how to become an attractive man… naturally. 9 years and still going strong – I must be doing something right. Learn what that is and join today. Don’t put off your dating & relationship success any more. It ALL changes starting NOW.

Please LIKE or SHARE my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Find and follow me on Twitter – Peter White.

10 comments… add one
  • Lois

    That says it all… 15 months of my life summarized in a column..Perfect question what makes you think that once you get what (that makes you unhappy) is suddenly going to make you happy. The advice above in a 100% correct take it from someone who got in to the friend zone got out into a romance then out.

  • Bridget

    I would like to add that I believe some women pick the “friendzone” guy. Its so much easier to believe that one person is the key to your happiness. “And if you do everything the right way it will work out”. It gives you lots of excuses from reaching outside your comfort zone and really trying something thats new. Its also perfect reason why you don’t except the dates that could lead somewhere including getting hurt…. its safe. But what happens when you get what you thought you wanted?

  • Bridget

    May I add that you do this without really knowing that your doing it.. And really look at what Peter said about if he doesn’t make you happy then, why do you think that will change? It doesn’t change and you find yourself looking for that one more piece of the puzzle to add “if I had that it would make us happy”. It doesn’t work this way.. Peter told me “that if the relationship is not fun then somethings wrong”.. Again so true. Peter really knows what hes talking about!

  • You said it Superwoman!

    Thanks for sharing. And you’re right.

    The friendzone guy is the easy way keep us in our comfort zone. Which is great if we’re happy. But if we’re not happy, and we’re locked into feeling comfortable, then something must be wrong.

    The sad part is we know something’s wrong but we choose to pass off the truth. This is clearly evident in the common excuses we all have used.

    Otherwise they would not be excuses, but challenges to overcome the sometimes irrational fears we all hide from at some point in our lives.

    Thanks again B.

    I truly hope your words, and your experience in being one of the few lucky women to escape the friends zone, (but then quickly escape the relationship that followed) can help any woman looking for great advice and inspiration.

    You have and always will be my most favorite woman reader. Even though you’re more than just a reader and fan, you’re proof under many circumstances we all can succeed when we really want. You’re proof and my inspiration I can teach others so much from what I have learned.

    You’re truly awesome!

    I’m glad to have been there from the beginning for you.

    ‘Till we find ourselves on the rooftops again fighting the crime of not at least trying to get anything and everything we want and deserve in life.

    -Superman

  • Bridget

    Ohhh…. my superman. Once again your words really touched me. Thanks for being there from the beginning. Thanks for answering endless, annoying questions ( the ones I really should of knew the answer to). Thanks Peter for putting your experiences out there and willingness to share it with the world. I still re-read your advice, if I find myself stuck with a question or in need of optimism I find my way to your web page. Happy Thanksgiving to my hero! May you be as happy as you make others! <3 me

    • Thanks to you Lois for all your kind words and might I add, hard work. I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving too. I’m looking forward to your newest updates. As always.
      You’re most welcome B. You keep stopping by, and I’ll keep writing. – Pete

  • Bridget leigh

    What I’m not good at, thanks to YOU!… Seriously even your lips comment. ( I actually get Facebook requests because of them) I’m good at getting the attention. I’m good at getting asked out… I’m good at making them want to be around More…. what I’m terrible at is that gentle goodbye that doesn’t hurt a man’s feelings. I’m desperate Peter, I have 4 guys who need that goodbye. I’m huge on karma. Please let me know of that kind way you get rid of all your admirers. : ) Bridget Leigh

  • Bridget leigh

    K- peter there is a type-o in first sentence. its supposed to state. ” what I am good at thanks to YOU!. sorry Mr hero.

    • Haha! Nice B.

      Blame me for all the men now chasing you. Pffttt! It’s not me they’re chasing. 🙂

      Okay, so what would I do if four guys wanted me so bad???? I’d probably leave the gay bar I was in much earlier than I had planned.

      Sorry Lois. You’re going to hurt their feelings. But you know what, if they STOP acting like Clark Kent and find a way to become the Superman they’re probably hiding inside, you wouldn’t worry about hurting them at all.

      You know I did try turning off my personality when I realized I was not interested. Mostly when I was not physically attracted at all but that did not work for me. It went against everything I was learning. Then I tried disappearing. That only made them want me even more. Then I tried being honest with them. That worked great but still didn’t change the situation too much.

      My point is…there’s no perfect answer to your problem. Just be honest with them. Yes. You’l hurt some. But mostly they’ll get over it if they find out early on. If you wait you’ll make it worse.

      I think the important lesson you must take with you is to keep it up confidently. Understand when you reject someone the RIGHT HONEST way, it will make you stronger. You’re next learning curve or hump is to begin to quickly notice the patterns of a guy, who you will eventually not want to be with. So you can avoid them or end it even quicker. For you and for them.

      But that’s a whole different lesson.

      If I would have to judge Karma in this case. Keeping a man around longer because you don’t want to hurt his feelings is worse than being gently honest but firm in your conviction.

      Sorry to have you breaking so many hearts. 🙂

      Oh and you’re welcome that you’re not good. 😉

  • Bridget

    I could read your writing to me forever..You are my favorite flirt. You always make me smile Peter. I want one of YOU! Yeah. I hear you… I just don’t want to do it.. But I guess I need to do that asap. : (

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