When I was around twenty one years old I took a job and spent the next ten years there. It was a small restaurant with only about fifteen employees and the turn-over rate was high.
The revolving door of employees meant meeting lots of different women.
My next job was working retail for a now large corporation. We attracted a lot of the younger crowd so there was always a steady stream of young women to meet and check out.
You might guess, by the title or lead in, although my options of meeting lots of women were quite high at work - this created a real problem of limitation and an ever increasing chance of rejection, because at the time I was terrible at attracting any of them.
I did try a lot, sort of, only because WHAT I was trying wasn't really effective at all.
The REAL problems are now quite obvious:
- I didn't understand attraction.
- I refused to meet women outside of work.
I've stated "not understanding attraction" countless times here at DiaLteG TM because, unless you're naturally gifted with women - knowing it changes EVERYTHING.
Knowing how women experience it, how it's created, why it happens, and HOW ANY guy can trigger in the fair majority of women is and will ALWAYS be the first step out of failing with women.
Why most guys won't learn about it first isn't too hard to figure it out.
Rarely it's the money, but mostly is because they believe it makes them less of a man to educate themselves on this subject. A topic which truly pisses me off as you might not want to read about in my rant post:
I'm NOT done trying to talk you into spending a little money that WILL change everything for you, if you put in the effort and are willing to learn, but I'm not going there today.
Here's the two programs that did it for me years ago - I haven't found anything better and more valuable since. (In fact these two books are why I have yet to finish my own version - they're just too perfect.)
Once you've got the attraction thing down, I wouldn't suggest you start practicing it with the women you work with - it can and probably WILL get you in a lot of trouble depending on your job of course.
I bought the books shortly after I started my second job and I did start using it with the girls at work, but I was working retail, not making much money, and until later, the job wasn't all that important to me.
PLUS - as I mentioned above, there was a revolving door of young of-age women working there which gave me lots of opportunities, making it hard to resist.
So I used it to my advantage with one 99% EXCEPTION I followed as best as I could - I refused or omitted going to the dating stage and just stuck with learning how to flirt, have fun, create the attraction, and left it there.
The second part to solve is meeting women outside of where you work but first we must talk a little about the clue I left in the opening reason. It's a very important so we must not overlook it:
"You ... Gave Her Every Reason To Believe It Mattered To Her."
It's clear to most that some women won’t date guys they work with, and you must know that’s probably a good thing depending on where you do work.
Although I can tell you based on the huge amount of visitors I get at why do guys, that number is not as high as you might believe because, women just like you, struggle meeting guys out of their career and often the workplace becomes the only place it usually happens.
Aside from the ones who will date a co-worker, you must admit there can be many problems which you can read about in my post:
Now let's cover the basics here so you can fully understand this failure with women based on this reason alone.
If you believe it matters to her she could easily pretend to not like you, OR not bother with you AND you’re only setting yourself up to fail because you didn’t even bother trying at all.
Strange how that works, isn't it?
But more importantly...
If you’re constantly trying to date women from work THEY (other women) see it ALL and might think it’s what you do.
It doesn’t make a woman feel special or show you actually do like her specifically if you’re trying to get it on with every chic at work.
They're highly likely to believe you're just a player.
Which I've personally seen guys use that angle, get lots of women to talk about him, let them possibly believe he's a player - and get dates and sex from it too.
BUT that doesn't make it right and I don't advocate that kind of treachery. USE at your OWN risk and be prepared to suffer the consequences of your actions.
I totally understand how easy it is to fall for a woman at work. You spend lots of time together. You’re both stuck either having to learn about one another or the time goes by very slowly AND can be boring without that opportunity.
Feelings bubble up, connections are made, and the next thing you know – you’ve fallen for the new girl again. Along with every other single guy there too.
It happens all too easily but don’t let that stop from opening your horizons and getting out into the REAL world because trust there are a LOT more out there, AND you won’t have any work-related issues to deal with when and if things go bad.
Moving on to solve this problem once and for all...
The Benefits of Meeting Women Outside of Work and Where.
Going out and meeting lots of women create more opportunities, choices, and dates are the obvious benefits.
The other benefit is experiencing more to learn from and to practice your skills of attraction on women you don't have to see everyday at work.
This makes it okay to burn a few interactions and try new things without fear of having to face a possible failure everyday you clock in.
Plus - your mindset will change from one of scarcity (only looking to date women you work with) to one of abundance, which is a highly positive and attractive trait to convey to women - that they actually like.
Lastly - imagine you actually do start dating a woman at work, which means you'll be seeing her all day, possibly five days a week or more, and setting up times and dates to see each other outside of work...
This means you'll have no space or time for yourself, which may seem cool at first, but often leads to relationships that happen to quickly and fail just as fast, and by not giving yourself a much needed space and time, doesn't allow a deeper attraction truly develop to which you can lead her.
You've been given the information, the programs on learning how attraction works to assure your failures with women become smaller and happen less, now here all the posts to give you the entire picture on where to meet lots of women.
There are a ton of them to go through - take your time and try not to get overwhelmed - one at a time.
Meeting and Approaching Women: