I bet you’re the type of guy who understands what it means to give a woman space.
I bet you’re the type of guy who also understands no one likes a clingy person or how no woman feels very attracted to a guy who is needy and hangs on their every word.
I bet you’re even the type of guy who has been told countless times to back off from her because you’re pushing her away. Perhaps you have even been told by that special girl in your life,
“I’m sorry. I just need my space.”
I know how it feels. Been there myself.
And the worst part is no matter how much advice you read, or no matter how many posts you read about this ‘space’ issue, you just can NOT seem to get yourself to back up.
Why is this?
What is the real cold hard truth behind your space issue?
I know how it feels when you’re madly in love with a woman who refuses to be with you. I know how it feels to want to be with someone so bad you’re willing to do anything for her.
I know how it feels when you believe it just makes sense to give up chasing “other” women, because you have found the girl of your dreams.
The girl is amazing.
“If other men see what I see, I better act quick. I better stay close. If I let her out of my sight some guy’s going to come along and snatch her up.”
She literally becomes an infomercial to your heart , “Act now because this offer won’t be around long.”
Reacting and not Acting.
Does the statement, “I say jump. You say how high.” ring a bell.
Or in this case, she calls, you always answer.
She asks your opinion you give it to her from your heart.
She requires your help, you give it to her without any regard for your own time.
After all isn’t that what most people do when they are in love.
Here are some big questions for you from a guy who has, “Been there. Done that“,
If you know it’s not right…
If you know women feel less attracted to a man who doesn’t gives them space…
If you know by allowing her the space she needs from the beginning or when you first met her,
Why do you stay so close to her?
Why do you feel the urge to not let her out of your sight?
Why do you feel if you give her space you will lose her?
AND the biggest questions of all…
How do you stop yourself from being that man?
How do you give her the space she needs without driving yourself crazy?
How DO you build yourself into a more secure man who acts from this area, “I can take her or leave her”, the classic indifference which is universally attractive, without turning into a cold-hearted prick?
It’s easy to ask questions but it’s appears much harder to get the answers.
I say “appears” because in the world of attraction and self-help, if you want to call it that, the answers come much easier when we know the right questions to ask.
Often times the answer is already there.
I’m going to take a quick look back at most of the questions I have brought up to this point to give you MY insight into this space issue so many men have and then connect them to my three reasons I listed above which caused so many of my own personal space issues which I all but have overcome.
Why do we stay so close to her? Why do we feel the need to stay so close to anyone?
Because we enjoy being around them and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
BUT in order for someone else to enjoy being around us, they must understand and feel what it’s like when we’re not around.
Just like you miss them when they’re gone, they too must miss us.
Give her the opportunity to feel what it’s like when you’re not there.
Why do we feel the urge to not let her out of our sight? Why do we feel the need to not let anything out of sight?
We could lose them or they could get hurt.
I may get into this topic at a later point you’ll just have to stop back and check in once in a while to see because it’s a huge piece of the puzzle or too large to cover in this post alone.
Why do we feel if we give her too much space we will lose her?
Insecurity and a lack of confidence to keep someone around from a distance.
I believe we all knew that answer already so why do we ask it, some of us are hoping the problem will take care of itself but it never does.
This type of distraction I feel is a failure to trust in ourselves or a failure to become confident through solid proven advice because of a fear of the self-help area most men avoid… because we’re men, right?
Men are supposed to be strong.
Well let me tell you from personal experience your “real strength” comes from your ability to take action.
To be strong enough to let go of that whole ‘we’re men’ concept.
Showing the world your indifference requires strength beyond lifting weights or not wearing your heart on your sleeve.
This is a guarantee I will give any man because I learned it myself…
A woman will always find herself more attracted to a man who is willing to throw aside the false beliefs of masculinity to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
And in this case the job is gaining confidence and the trust in ourselves that no matter how much space we give her, she will always come back to us.
I had the strength to risk losing many women in my life when she found some attraction laying next to my bed. I risked losing them by giving her space.
How do we stop ourselves from being that needy guy?
We can NOT stop yourself from being something.
We can only build ourselves into someone who is more secure and confident.
How do we give her the space she needs without driving us crazy?
If giving her space drives you crazy or stops you from living your life on your terms, you’re just going to have to learn how to live that crazy life for a while until things DO get easier.
Put yourself into situations where will subdue your mind.
Find the most relaxing thing you can do for yourself and when those moments arrive, get there quickly.
It’s a quick fix and won’t solve the problem entirely but let’s say fishing relaxes you and frees your mind, when you feel the need to contact her and you know you shouldn’t, go fishing and leave your phone at home!
Scream at the world all you want while your there.
Pace up and down the stream if you must.
Just find a way to release the tension you are feeling and put yourself in a place where contact IS impossible.
How do we build myself into a secure man who acts from this area, “I can take her or leave her.”, the classic indifference which is universally attractive) without turning into a cold-hearted prick?
One of the key ingredients to indifference is being fearless.
When you fear the outcome you become attached to it.
Believe it or not the same goes for that cold-hearted prick you don’t want to become.
You fear becoming him so you do everything or nothing in most cases to avoid being him.
And if a woman suspects you are avoiding doing something because of a fear you have, what will that do to how much attraction she will feel for you.
I believe the answer is quite clear.
In order for you to get over this space issue you must find a way to cover competently the three areas I listed above by whatever means possible.
You must bring MORE choices into your life. NO doubt about it. Learn to date several women at once.
Just being more”available” women in your life.
You must eradicate completely your sense of urgency. Understand most women are more likely to fall out of attraction if you get too close too quickly. Let her go. Give her the space. Create the necessary space so she will miss and think about you.
Turn your urgency off any way you can. Distract yourself if you have to by doing other things beyond women and attraction.
Channel that energy some place else.
You must learn to act and not react to this neediness or the emotional pull of seeing or contacting her.
Attractive men ACT, not so attractive men REACT.
Set yourself a set of Man-Rules and stick to them and learn the difference.
If you’re always waiting to DO something based on what she doing, you’re reacting and not acting.