It's just not a very "attractive" thing to do.
You've probably been told many times to back off from a woman because you're driving her away. Maybe it was a friend, a relative, a few advice articles you read, or even a girl you were seeing - but it didn't seem to make a difference.
You have a problem...
You just can NOT get yourself to get out of this mode and now you're now desperate to finally overcome your "space" issues so you can perhaps keep a girlfriend or find one that doesn't run away after knowing her for only a few short weeks!
Today's lesson is going to help you get past it once and for all.
Why do you have a problem of giving a woman the right amount of space she needs to want to be with you more?
Number 1 answer:
You shut out all other possibilities immediately when you meet a girl because you once again - think or feel that she's the one.
You think you fall in love too quickly.
You quickly become all too willing to do anything to be with her and you try to do everything to get her.
You don't take the time to qualify her and make sure you're really in love with her AND that she's the right one for you.
You might also feel like you don't have enough choices. Almost like you're lucky when it girl is into you.
You just don't seem to have many of them and the most obvious simple solution to this problem is to make sure you're meeting lots of women.
Get more choices. Date more women.
And you'll give yourself opportunities so you'll be less likely to fixate on just one of them.
When you meet a girl ,due to lack of choices and because you fall in love all too easily AND you think you're lucky to have found her, something else happens...
You instantly think if you don't snatch her up, some other guy will.
Some other guy will come along and take her away from you - because you don't feel GOOD enough for a girl like that.
The moment she leaves your sight or stops texting you for a day, your first "go to" is - it MUST be another guy.
Jealousy rears its ugly head and you impulsive act.
Since you might not be the overly jealous type of guy - instead of getting angry or getting in fights trying to protect your "new" investment, something else needs to happen.
Your solution is to just make sure you're never too far away.
You won't give her the time or space to find another guy.
The solution is also obvious - find a way to believe you CAN attract and keep any woman because you're good enough for any girl.
Security, self-esteem, trust, and confidence - when those three items are locked hard into you - your space issues magically disappear and then something else magically happens:
You end up with more CHOICES too.
More choices. Less urgency.
NO SPACE ISSUES!
Does the statement, "She says jump and you say how high." ring a bell.
Or in this case, she calls, you always answer. She texts, you quickly grab your phone and within seconds you're responding or "reacting" to her message.
She asks your opinion you give it to her from your heart.
She requires your help, you give it to her without any regard for your own time and for her own benefit.
After all you think, isn't that what most people do when they are in love.
You REACT to her in such a way that you become her obedient dog and that's NOT what love is unless you are in fact... her pet.
The same applies here as it does above.
You're afraid of losing her. You're afraid if you don't give her anything she want when she wants it - she'll leave you for another guy who will.
Except you're forgetting a few important things about women and attraction.
IF she's leaving you or not into you because you're acting too clingy or won't give her some space - then WHAT makes you think she's going to end up with some OTHER guy who will.
Women LIKE a real challenge.
If ANY woman opts for a lap dog over a man then get her a dog, say goodbye, and find another woman immediately. (Okay you don't have to buy her a dog but anyways.)
You're not only afraid of losing her or not getting her, that's pretty clear by now.
You also have another fear almost EVERY nice guy has at some point or at all points...
You're afraid to give her space because you think it's not the nice thing to do.
You're afraid of becoming the jerk.
You're afraid of becoming a cold-hearted prick most women seem to complain about... to YOU.
You're also afraid of something else - and that is IF you don't show her in every way possible that you "love" her or "like" her or whatever, then she'll think you're just not into her.
One more fear.
You're afraid if and when you don't get back to her immediately or be there for her 24 hours a day she'll HATE you for it.
You've become afraid of her EMOTIONS.
Here's how to guarantee a woman does NOT feel attraction to you:
Make her believe you're a guy with absolutely no choices and you're only choosing her because she's the only one who likes you.
Act like you must have her now!
How you have little regard for her process of attraction and push her into feeling something deeper for you ONLY proving to her that you just don't GET her or women in general.
Show her you don't trust that she'll still like you IF you give her some space.
Show her you're afraid she won't "like" you anymore just because she might become upset with you.
Show her you can not handle any or all of her emotions because you lack the strength or emotional control yourself.
Let her see you're afraid that you're not good enough for her which in turn only makes her think SHE is only good enough to attract a guy who thinks so little of her.
Not being a real challenge in any way, shape, form only proving to her you have little value to yourself so why would she value you or want to get into a relationship with you.
The PURPOSE so far is to SHOW you in every way possibly that by NOT giving her space you'll NEVER get her.
If that's not enough to keep you away from her and interact with her just enough then keep reading... not done yet.
Here's a few questions for you...
Why does anyone, man or woman, like to be close to someone? You know spend some good old quality time together...
Because they ENJOY it and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.
To FEEL that way they must at some point be APART. They must know what it feels like when that other person is NOT around or is unreachable.
ANYTHING - yes anything can be too much of a good thing if it can be had at anytime.
Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder IF there's something there to begin with AND if you're not giving the space to begin with - it will NEVER grow into something more.
Give her the opportunity to feel what it's like when you're not there.
Why does anyone feel a strong urge or need to not let anything or someone out of their sight?
They could lose them.
They could get hurt without proper protection.
There's nothing wrong with that need, it serves a greater purpose of survival.
It's a very basic human need to protect those we love BUT when those needs extend too far it actually has the opposite effect.
At some time - being overly protect means someone ELSE must then step in and protect THAT person from you.
Sure - it's a little outstretched but you must admit it has SOMETHING to do with your space issues regardless of whether it's locking someone up against their will.
The emotions might not be as heightened or as strong as being held captive but they DO originate from the same place in our brain making it that much more of something we ALL try to avoid... captivity.
Women are not inanimate objects you can keep for yourself.
"They have feelings and experience emotions at every level in their lives. They need space and the room to live their independent existence. They also need the space to determine if you are right choice for her.
Allow her to live her own life on her own terms.
Allow her to make her own mistakes.
Allow her to learn from those mistakes and if she doesn’t learn from them, allow her to try again.
You’re not here or there to FIX women. You’re not here or there to control her life in any way, shape, or form.
Giving a woman independence in every sense of that word assures you stand out above many guys who either blatantly or through passive-aggressive actions try to control her."
Why is it so difficult for you to get over your space problems?
You've just been shown so many reasons why it's not a good thing and why you feel the need to keep her close or become needy.
Solving this problem requires a lot of new thinking, different mindsets (some of which was covered today) AND security, a belief in yourself, trust in others, a lesson in attraction, confidence, willpower, choices, courage, strength, and those a just to name a few.
Not to scare you - a little bit of work here goes a long way. This is NOT impossible and lots of guys get past this everyday.
PLUS... and this is the bigger problem when it comes to solving this.... it's because you're a man!
Men are supposed to be strong, right?
Men are not supposed to need help.
They're too handle things themselves because that's what makes them strong, right?
Real strength, the kind that make women fall so deeply in love with guys who have it come from the ability to take ACTION regardless of fear.
To be courageous enough to let go of the whole "you're a man" concept and it makes you look weak to seek help.
To be strong enough to RISK losing her or any woman.
A "real" woman will ALWAYS find herself more attracted to a man who is willing to throw aside the false beliefs of masculinity to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
The point is...
Getting the help you need in all or some of the areas listed above doesn't show a woman you're not a man - it screams to EVERY woman walking on the planet that you ARE A REAL MAN.
The guy who refuses to better himself because he's "afraid" or to get something done out of fear - yeah - that's not very attractive at all, is it?
Think about it.
You will NEVER STOP yourself from being something.
So yes, STOP TRYING to give her space.
That's not working for you anyways.
START BUILDING yourself into a man who IS more secure and confident.
When it gets tough...
Put yourself into situations where you know it will subdue your mind.
Find the most relaxing thing you can do for yourself and when those moments arrive, get there quickly.
It's a quick fix and won't solve the problem entirely but let's say fishing relaxes you and frees your mind, when you feel the need to contact her and you know you shouldn't, go fishing and leave your phone at home!
Scream at the world all you want while your there.
Pace up and down the stream if you must.
Just find a way to release the tension you are feeling and put yourself in a place where contact IS impossible.
As you're building that person do those things to stop setbacks from happening.
Turn your urgency off any way you can.
Distract yourself if you have to by doing other things beyond women and attraction.
Channel that energy some place else.
You must learn to act and not react to this neediness or the emotional pull of seeing or contacting her.
Attractive men ACT, not so attractive men REACT.
Now is a great time to take real action and solve ALL you space issues right away.