Dating can be unpredictable especially when it comes to figuring out whether a certain girl is interested in you, or even better, feelings attracted to us.
We’re doing what we can to attract women.
We’re following all the rules of attraction.
We’re creating sparks and there is a definite new chemistry we starting to see… finally!
We’re hitting it off with women on a level which, without a doubt is different, new, and exciting.
But for some stinking reason when we go for the kiss or another date or even just reach for her hand… we still get that dreaded cold feeling of rejection.
It’s enough to drive us nice guys crazy, isn’t it?
We shrug it off in the moment ( to look cool and all ) but once we’re alone our minds won’t shut up about it. We’re left thinking and wondering what the hell we did wrong. Or what her problem was. Or what does it really take to get a handle on all this!
What if there was a clear signal to tell if she was interested in us beyond a friendship?
An absolute sign of attraction we can never miss.
David Wygant thinks there is but you have to be serious enough to invest in more than just a promotional video. Seven Second Seduction
Here are two very common scenarios which are going to help us sort this non-needed confusion out.
There’s some expert advice and together, we’re going to get as much as we can of this seemingly unfair problem – solved once and for all!
Experience one: We looked at each other and smiled while walking by a clearance rack at Macy’s.
She bumped me on the side and kind of forced me to say something I learned from the “Doctor”, Doctor Paul that is. That link will take you to the most complete men’s psychology products ever written centered around deep inner game and attracting women. ( The Science Of Being Man. )
“Hey! Watch it punk…”
It was a fun opening and it worked!
A little conversation and some ball busting and I quickly went in for her phone number. She was so cute with an amazing sense of humor and a marvelous ass to “boot.”
I called her the next day but she didn’t answer. I gave a brief message to remind her of who I was and told her to watch where she was walking and nothing more.
A week later – she still had not called me back.
Reluctantly I called again and there it was, that freaking voice mail again.
This time I accused her, in a funny way, of being flaky and demanded she call me back or she’ll miss this great opportunity to hear my lovely voice again. Something like, “You know the type of guys who would hang around clearance racks picking up women are pretty rare.”
You might have seen this coming but yep, she still didn’t call me back.
“Women do not communicate the same way as you. They speak with their bodies not their mouth. Understanding A Woman’s Body Language And Interest Signals – Marni Kinrys
And neither did I.
I deleted her number and notched it up as a failure.
So what really happened? Did I do something wrong? Did I miss the signs?
Was she not interested or attracted to me at all?
Hardly seems fitting.
Experience two: She had a “classic” online profile.
She was sexy, funny, put up some amazing and revealing pictures of herself (so we can see what she really looked like) and even with all that, she seemed pretty cool.
The “go get her” button was there because she also lived close by… We have a winner! If you’ve ever searched online I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. Suck to find a very great girl and found out she lives a thousand miles away. Incidentally I’ve since learned to narrow my search and look at hot women from some other way.
I gathered ALL my wit and charm. I was definitely on my “game” that day. I introduced myself like never before. She had to get back.
And as the story goes…she never did!
I blamed it on “the system.” The mail got lost or she just missed it. With all the letters she’s probably getting it’s easy to get misplaced.
Some “online dating” expert taught me to write her at least three times. Make sure you have a little time between each one and turn it up just a little with each one.
And that’s exactly what I did and each was more funny than the last. They were pure gold.
I gave her one last shot and in my last message insisted she’s going to miss something she will regret. I was funny, confident, and made it very clear this was going to be the last time she would hear from me. Leaving her no choice but to write back.
She said something like you’re funny… and cute too. (“wink wink”) She said she’d love to chat with me and handed over her “oooooo” private screen name.
Get ready because none of these experiences have a happy ending.
Our “online” paths met several times and each time I wrote her something clever expecting her to respond but I was down right ignored! Except for a, “I’m sorry but I’m busy” lame excuse.
I did what I was supposed to. Waited for her to settle in. I wasn’t pushy. I wasn’t a pestering pain in the ass.
But she frustrated the hell out of me.
She even left some supposedly sexy comment on my social profile too. I guess to keep me interested but never anything more.
Rightfully so I deleted the connection. So much for her.
What really happened? Did I do something wrong? Did I miss the signs? Was she not interested or using me for some game?
Scot McKay showed me long ago there’s a ton of reasons why we get blown off by women.
Sometimes it’s us. Sometimes it’s her.
- Maybe we intimidate some women.
- Maybe she just got over a break up and ended up getting back with her ex.
- Maybe she just likes the attention and we were there to give it her and she doesn’t go for guys who do that.
- Maybe she was scared because she doesn’t see much in herself or even how she looked that day.
- Maybe we come on too strong and don’t realize it at all.
- Maybe she was not into us as we might have believed and she was just trying to be nice.
- Maybe she met someone else in the meantime and chose him.
- Maybe she was kind of hoping some other guy wanted her back and in the middle – it happened for her.
It’s important to understand there are many things we don’t have control over and even when the signs may be clear, it does NOT have to mean we missed the signals causing us to rethink this whole thing.
Sometimes we have to give ourselves credit and things were just beyond our control.
We must NOT internalize or take it personal.
Sure we can learn from the experience but with so many more to come why bother getting stuck on one. It’s just not healthy AND it’s not very attractive.
Time is NOT an unlimited resource.
Why waste it and our effort too on some woman who will only reject us, ignore us, or simply disappear off the face of the earth.
We’ve walked through two experiences which kind of led to rejection and I’ve purposely avoided mentioning any “indicators of interest” because we must remain positive about it all first and foremost.
The truth is – we can do EVERYTHING right and still miss.
It happens. It’s not the end of the world.
It’s only the beginning of a new interaction and now, after reading the rest today, we’ll be that much better equipped of reading all the signs of attraction are in place.
We NOW get to learn from all our past failures and more importantly…
When all the signals are there, when we know without a doubt we did everything we could above and beyond, we created attraction, rapport, experienced chemistry, and all that…then we can ultimately feel better what we’re doing is working even if it did not with any one particular woman.
Here’s one of the best of all time to help.
How to Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You
1.) The first indicator is her actions to tell you she likes you. Always watch what she does first, and ignore her words if they don’t jive with the way she behaves. Here are a short list of “she’s interested” indicators:
- She touches you or leans in close
- She makes it a point to smell your cologne
- She takes you along with her to another bar/dance club
- She initiates conversation with you
- She asks for your number (but only if she asks before or after giving hers. If she refuses to give you her number, she’s not interested.)
- She looks you over (especially glances at your mouth)
2. ) The next thing you listen to is her words. What does she say to you? Here’s a list of things that indicate her interest verbally:
- She asks a lot of questions about you
- She talks about sexual topics (without you initiating them)
- She uses very sensual words when describing you
- She tells you secrets (indicating trust)
3. ) This next list is more difficult, since you will have to refine your radar as to what her body language is saying. It’s much more subtle, and more difficult to read. Again, I always suggest that you make sure to judge her body language only when you have no other evidence to help you out. Here are some buying indicators:
- Occasional glance(s) from far away
- Looks at you a few times (flickering glances at your lips)
- Holds your gaze for a moment with no words
- Goes out of her way to laugh with you
- Posture changes, looks alert
- Covers her mouth or touches her face
- Adjusts hair, attire
- Faces you
- Alert, energetic
- Pupils are dilated
- Open posture (arms uncrossed)
You can read the entire post here at DiaLTeG TM –>How to Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You Written by Carlos Xuma.
It would be great if I could add to that list. You know come up with my own but that, right there, practically says it all, doesn’t it?
Well not quite ALL there’s always more to this “game” and I’m going to go to the guy that changed my “dating” life forever because I’ve used his techniques from day one and have never looked back…
HOW TO TELL IF SHE’S INTERESTED (…) I’m going to give you a stupid-proof formula for knowing whether or not a woman is interested in you. Here it is: You engage her. She engages you back. Yes, that’s it. Please stop the applause long enough that I can finish. You can clap later.
That of course was written by David DeAngelo. There are more “guest posts here at DiaLteG TM. Click on his name for more.
My personal experiences with all this “Is She Interested?” stuff along with the two I’ve shared above have taught me it’s okay to look for the signals. Learning them can be a lot of fun too.
However what both Carlos and both David’s have taught me is to NEVER get caught up always trying to read her.
As long as we continue to do what’s working ( granted that we know how to create attraction in the first place ) we’ll find ourselves asking this question less and less because it just won’t matter anymore.
Consider this – Women will do everything possible, although her signals may seem subtle, to let us know how she feels.
The right woman does NOT want it any other way.
It’s too easy to screw it all up when we’re so focused on what she’s doing.
Keep creating attraction and lead as if we’ve always known it and when it does happen we can pat ourselves on the back and tell her with a smirk on our face… How we always knew she wanted us.
Knowing what attraction is and how to create it doesn’t always come so naturally to us nice guys. It’s also some pretty counter intuitive stuff which may not always make sense to us – because we’re guys. If you’re asking question like this post brought up AND you’re not entirely sure how attraction works for women… Leave your email with David and pick this up –>Attraction Isn’t A Choice. It can make a huge difference for you like it did for me. Thanks… Pete