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How To Tell Or Know If She Is Interested and Feeling Attracted to You?

in Experience, Is She Interested, Understanding Women
Is this attractive woman interested in You? Not all her signs are this obvious.

Dating can be unpredictable as it is but when it comes to figuring out or knowing whether a girl is interested or feeling attracted to you is an area many guys struggle with getting right.

You can know or feel you’re doing everything right (with regards to creating attraction) and still get it wrong. You can still get rejected leaving you to wonder why (or try to figure out) if you just missed the signs  and signals or not.

The hard part of all this interest and attraction is not only the rejection part (when you were positive all the signals were there) but knowing or realizing if it was either you or her.

In other words – knowing when you are doing something wrong and how to change it, or when it had nothing to do with you making it better to continue doing what you’re doing because it will eventually work.

This is easy to tell at the beginning because if you’re not attracting girls at all and you’re doing the same thing over and over, then it’s obvious something has to be done differently.

But what happens AFTER you learn the right skills and you start using them, maybe they work once in a while but just not enough. How can you tell if you’re doing it right, just getting lucky, or if you’re doing something really wrong?

What does a guy do at that point?

He unfortunately starts looking for signs or signals from a woman to prove to him he was right AND to avoid a future rejection.

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He’s looking for what is known as “indicators of interest” (which is typically a PUA lingo for how a guy interacts with a woman while creating attraction) but in this case, he turns it around to figure out EXACTLY what a woman does that shows or proves her interest or attraction to him.

If that’s you, there’s good news and bad news.

The good news is there are plenty of clues or subtle hints, signals or signs a girl will give you to help you see and know what she’s feeling. The list starts below. It’s very clear and decisive and easy to follow.

The bad news is when you begin to look for the signs for proof, to avoid rejection, to know without a doubt what you’re doing is working, you do a few things which can just as easily destroy the attraction you first made.

More on the bad news later. Just keep it in mind for now. Let’s get to what I’m positive you want right away…

Carlos Xuma said it better than me. It’s already been written yet it less known. I’ll just post it up below rather than “reinvent the wheel” as they say.

How to Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You

#1. The first indicator is her actions to tell you she likes you. Always watch what she does first, and ignore her words if they don’t jive with the way she behaves. Here are a short list of “she’s interested” indicators:

  • She touches you or leans in close
  • She makes it a point to smell your cologne
  • She takes you along with her to another bar/dance club
  • She initiates conversation with you
  • She asks for your number (but only if she asks before or after giving hers. If she refuses to give you her number, she’s not interested.)
  • She looks you over (especially glances at your mouth)

#2. The next thing you listen to is her words. What does she say to you? Here’s a list of things that indicate her interest verbally:

  • She asks a lot of questions about you
  • She talks about sexual topics (without you initiating them)
  • She uses very sensual words when describing you
  • She tells you secrets (indicating trust)

#3. This next list is more difficult, since you will have to refine your radar as to what her body language is saying. It’s much more subtle, and more difficult to read. Again, I always suggest that you make sure to judge her body language only when you have no other evidence to help you out. Here are some buying indicators:

  • Occasional glance(s) from far away
  • Looks at you a few times (flickering glances at your lips)
  • Holds your gaze for a moment with no words
  • Goes out of her way to laugh with you
  • Posture changes, looks alert
  • Covers her mouth or touches her face
  • Adjusts hair, attire
  • Faces you
  • Alert, energetic
  • Pupils are dilated
  • Open posture (arms uncrossed)

You can read the entire post here at DiaLTeG TM –>How to Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You.

It would be great if I could add to that list. You know come up with my own but that, right there, practically says it all, doesn’t it?

Well not quite ALL there’s always more to this “game” and I’m going to go to the guy that changed my “dating” life forever because I’ve used his techniques from day one and have never looked back…


I’m going to give you a stupid-proof formula for knowing whether or not a woman is interested in you.

Here it is:

  1. You engage her.
  2. She engages you back.

Yes, that’s it. Please stop the applause long enough that I can finish. You can clap later.


In a nutshell, what I’m trying to say is:

  1. Stop looking around for signals from women that they’re “interested” in you.
  2. Stop CARING whether or not a particular woman is interested in you.
  3. Instead, start TRIGGERING the interest, and watching to see if women ENGAGE. If they do, then assume that IT’S ON!

As long as you use how she’s responding to what YOU do as your gauge, then you’ll have a MUCH easier time spotting the “she wants me” clues…


How To Tell If She’s Interested written by David DeAngelo.

My personal experiences with all this “Is She Interested?” stuff along with the two I’ve shared above have taught me it’s okay to look for the signals. Learning them can be a lot of fun too.

However what both Carlos and both David’s have taught me is to NEVER get caught up always trying to read her.

As long as we continue to do what’s working ( granted that we know how to create attraction in the first place ) we’ll find ourselves asking this question less and less because it just won’t matter anymore.

Women will do everything possible, although her signals may seem subtle, to let us know how she feels. The right woman does NOT want it any other way.

It’s too easy to screw it all up when we’re so focused on what she’s doing.

That’s the bad news about looking for signs and signals. It’s a trap too many men get stuck on…

It’s much too easy to say the wrong thing, to do the wrong thing, or lessen the attraction when you are more focused on looking for signals then you are on creating them.

Take a look at what David Wygant writes and you’ll quickly see how and when you’re more focused on looking for signals, it can easily lessen the attractive experience for her:

How and Why Creating Her Body Language Makes You The Leader She Wants

“Women are all about connecting with a man. A woman will also start to relax because you are relaxed. The problem is a lot of guys do the reverse of this. They start talking AT a woman (instead of WITH her), and then they start looking for body language clues from her.

They think things like

“What does her body language say?” or “Her arms are folded. What does that mean?”

The problem is that you’re viewing things in the wrong way and the wrong order. You are the leader, and you need to lead by example. What I mean is that when you go and talk to a woman, her body language most often is going to follow yours.

So if your body language is strong and shows interest in her, then her body language is going to follow yours and reflect signs of interest in you.

If your face is engaged – you’re smiling and your eyes are focused in on her eyes – and you are paying real attention to her, then her body language will follow yours.”

How and Why Creating Her Body Language Makes You The Leader She Wants Written by David Wygant .

Proven advice from 3 of the top experts in the attraction game, which when integrated into my dating and attraction life, made a difference.

Focus less on looking for signs or signals of attraction or her liking you and make sure you are skilled in creating them first!

As far as rejection goes, hey it’s going to happen.

Sometimes it’s something you did. Sometime’s it her. Knowing when you’re doing something wrong and fixing it IS good. But you can’t take all the blame all the time.

Scot McKay showed me that there’s a ton of reasons why we get blown off by women. Here’s the list:

  • Maybe we intimidate some women.
  • Maybe she just got over a break up and ended up getting back with her ex.
  • Maybe she just likes the attention and we were there to give it her and she doesn’t go for guys who do that.
  • Maybe she was scared because she doesn’t see much in herself or even how she looked that day.
  • Maybe we come on too strong and don’t realize it at all.
  • Maybe she was not into us as we might have believed and she was just trying to be nice.
  • Maybe she met someone else in the meantime and chose him.
  • Maybe she was kind of hoping some other guy wanted her back and in the middle – it happened for her.

It’s important to understand there are many things we don’t have control over and even when the signs may be clear, it does NOT have to mean we missed the signals causing us to rethink this whole thing.

We must NOT internalize the event or take it personal.

Sure we can learn from the experience but with so many more to come why bother getting stuck on one. It’s just not healthy AND it’s not very attractive.


About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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