Shy girls…you have to love them.
Their coy smiles make us wonder.
They lead us in with their soft words.
They hide their faces to “skillfully” bring us just close enough to want to push back their hair and tease their cheeks with the tips of our fingers…
Oh, excuse me. I get carried away sometimes. Don’t knock it, I’m sure you do too. 🙂
Okay…here’s the quick story.
There’s this guy and he thinks he “likes” this girl.
He’s made great progress in attracting women ( yeah sure I helped him a little ) but wouldn’t you know it this shy girl walks into his life and he’s left with more questions than answers.
He wrote to me asking a few simple yet, commonly asked questions from lots of guys…
I need a little help because (…) I never really handled a shy girl like this before. Oh and if you have any cool tricks for me to ask this shy girl for her number that will be great too.
I’ll skip the opening to the letter I wrote back to him and get right into how to handle shy girls.
Laughter is a huge ice breaker.
You obviously do NOT want to be clown but well placed humor goes a long way into opening up a shy girl.
In fact I’m willing to bet if you’re having trouble getting real genuine laughs and smiles from women you’re not using well placed humor correctly. Learn it because trust me it’s worth knowing the difference when it comes to attracting women. Shy or not. This is the only humor which has worked for me. You have to buy it for yourself but you’ll be amazed how well it works IF you use it right: Cocky Comedy.
If you have not complimented her on something very original – do it sparingly.
You want to get this girl to blush.
You definitely will WANT to get her blood flowing, just a little though.
Pay close attention to what gets a better reaction because you can use it later to open her up to being more intimate with you.
Next… Do NOT let shy girls fool you.
I’ve found they can be quite adventurous inside their heads and it’s up to you learn how to bring out their wild side.
You have to lead shy girls a lot but be careful.
The idea is to lead her somewhere which is a little uncomfortable for her, make her feel safe by staying cool and confident, ( and not by constantly telling her it’s okay ) and then step away to give her space.
Just a little more than feels comfortable for you.
It’s that space or the “space between” where the friction can and must be allowed build between.
You can call it friction, sexual tension, chemistry, playful teasing it’s all related but I can never emphasize this important element in building attraction – with ALL women.
“The tension you are elevating has only one kind of outlet – sexual attraction. Sometimes it will even start out as anger and then morph into passion and lust.
Remember it’s not the holding hands thing that increases her feelings, it’s your ability to hold her hand gently for a short period, then lightly squeezing her hand and then letting it go.
Allowing your fingertips to trail along a the inside of her wrist then letting go completely to turn to her and say something. That’s where you throw in something you really like about her and how something just reminded you of it.
A word of warning about shy girls.
They fear guys who get in their face too much.
In other words always remain cool and just a little more comfortable than her. This energy, or your body language will allow her to feel relaxed around you.
I have scared some shy girls away by being a little too over the top. At least when I was out playing around half drunk.
NOW for the really bug question… How DO you ask a shy girl out?
Well this is where you’re thinking you have to treat her differently because she’s shy.
Again, don’t let the shy thing fool you.
Underneath she is a WOMAN, and women WANT to be somewhere cool, interesting, and fun with someone they enjoy being around.
Which is YOU!
Too many guys make the mistake believing that if she’s shy they have to treat her like she’s special.
Well that’s the complete opposite of what she wants.
She wants to qualify herself to a guy she interested in.
She wants to earn the right to be close to you.
She wants the challenge to know she has to work a little to get you and to possibly win you over the “other” not-so-shy girls.
Remember woman are always highly attracted to confident cool men who seem to be just a little out of reach.
Never forget behind those glasses, behind the pulled back hair, behind the casual dress, and certainly behind that innocent smile is a smothering flame of all her feminine desires.
So, my suggestion for asking her out – if you both enjoy doing something – invite her along.
It’s really that simple whether she’s shy or not.
There’s no planning it. It’s not something you can rehearse. It needs to be fresh and in the moment or else she’ll feel you have an agenda which goes beyond dating.
Dating is good and it’s a necessary step.
Having an agenda means you’re looking for something predictable and you’re not.
The whole idea is to give her the opportunity to “feel you out” while you’re doing the same with her.
ALWAYS keep your options open with women whether she’s shy or not.
They do not want to see or notice you acting different around them because there are “other” women in the room.
The way to make a woman feel special is to always come back to HER and not by acting different around them because you think that’s what she wants.
Shy girls are WOMEN first. Just because they’re not openly overly confident socially, does NOT mean you should treat them differently.
Keep that in mind and the few tips I’ve thrown today and you shouldn’t have any problems asking them out.