Who would have known Bart Simspon could help men understand what women want…but he has.
Thanks of course to the wonderfully intuitive writers on “The Simpsons“.
Now, in part two, this little cartoon boy is about to teach us guys what women want.
You might not have seen the episode so I’ll explain it a little.
There’s a scene in which Bart is sitting with his new-found love. He assumes and then feels the need to mention they are boyfriend and girlfriend. He asks her if she is his girlfriend now and she freaks out.
She exclaims how he apologizes way too much and then Bart, in all his wisdom about women desperately screams,
“Just tell me what you want!”
She responds with her arms crossed and her back turned to him,
“You should know what I want!”
So who IS right in that argument?
Since we’re dealing with what women want, let’s just assume she is right and see where that takes us.
Why can’t a man just ask a woman what she wants?
Imagine this analogy.
You don’t know how to drive a car really fast. Sure you know how to do the everyday going to work and getting shit done, but there’s no way you could survive driving 200mph and you know it.
The first thing you would do is find someone to teach you safely then let you work your way up to speed. Each day a little faster and faster and until you’re handling the race track like a semi-pro.
Now put yourself in the teachers role. Sure he has respect for you. After all you are probably paying him for the lessons.
But how long will it take for you to surpass his abilities as a seasoned driver? Well, you may never.
Therefore he will always be one step ahead of you and even through his own learning process he can accurately predict your struggles along the way.
You’re not much of a mystery at all, at least in driving a car fast and the learning process involved in it. Although he has respect for you there’s this tiny part of his brain telling him, he’s better than you at it.
My idea is this:
When a woman has to teach a man how to attract her, don’t you think there’s a small part of her telling her she is better than him?
That is one big reason why not only shouldn’t she have to tell him, but how it destroys a piece of the attraction.
When a woman has to teach a man how to attract HER, don’t you think she will also, not feel “mystified” by you?
It becomes a classic “lose lose” situation which unfortunately a lot of nice guys go through.
No mystery and lower status almost always equals no chance to build attraction.
Why shouldn’t she have to tell him?
Bart’s new friend was obviously attracted to him when he was just hanging out with her. When he pushed it and assumed she was his girlfriend, in other words showed more interest at the wrong time, she assumes he is trying to control her. Just like every other guy has done and this pissed her off BUT she still felt attracted to him.
This is where Bart goes a little crazy because she confused the hell out of him.
He knew she liked him but when he pushed it, she would run.
When he would disappear and show no more interest, she would chase.
Now that may seem logical and most men gather this to mean.
“So if I ignore a woman she will like me. If I show her I like her, she will run.”
Well in a way that is right but what most men seem to miss is what is happening around those situations.
What most men miss is what she really wants.
Therefore when they pull back a little and she chases, his assumptions normally prove to be wrong. Sometimes he pulls away and she disappears.
This happens because they are missing the big picture of how women think, how they respond to him, how they are feeling at the time, and for the purpose of this article…
What she actually wants is usual different from what she says she wants.
“Most of the time women are talking about very similar desires–and it goes MUCH deeper than mere physical protection from outside influences.
First of all, if she has to tell you what she wants you probably have already been disqualified and secondly… She definitely wants to feel special.
When you have to ask her what she wants or you seem confused about her actions, you are generally showing her she is just like every other girl out there.
You see she is not taking your words or actions literally like you and I, as men, do…
She is simply reacting to how she feels.
She does not feel at all special when you lump into a group of ‘every other girl’ with generalized actions on your part that you don’t women understand women.
She is not hearing that you don’t understand women…
She is hearing you don’t understand HER!
Read my nice guy tip or law number 13. I list every trait a woman will seek in a man.
Just be warned because it is a list that most women will agree with, but just by doing them, won’t attract women by themselves.
I know it’s a conundrum and a trap all of us nice guys fall for at some point in our lives.
If you’re totally confused I’ll explain:
When a woman says she wants a guy with confidence she is really saying she wants a man who knows how to make her feel like she is with someone who gets things done.
She feels his confidence can also make her feel confident about her decision, in him. ( There’s also much more going on here with this whole confidence thing so if you want more, read this later: The First Thing Women Look For In “Mr. Right” )
When a women says she wants a guy with humor, she is saying she wants a man who makes her feel good.
A guy that can make HER laugh and feel happy when she’s with him.
Not just a guy that knows jokes.
When a woman says she wants or is attracted to a mysterious guy she is saying she wants a man who is not too predictable.
The attraction is built because she feels “anxious” when she’s around him or even when she is thinking about him.
She may begin to wonder “what’s going to happen next” and in her mind she begins assuming lots of different scenarios based on her own esteem, confidence, and experience with men.
For more on how mystery works why why women want a mysterious man please read one of my most powerful and popular articles: 7 Reasons Why Women Like Quiet and Mysterious Men Plus How To Be It.
When a woman says she wants an experience, she is saying she wants to feel something and that could literally be anything. Bad or good.
She wants to feel that little lump grow in the back of her throat when she is telling her friends about how you two met or what you two did together.
The “fairy tale” she developed growing up doesn’t have to happen exactly.
All that needs to come about are the same feelings she got when she was imagining those perfect moments.
When a woman says she wants feelings, again she is saying she wants to feel something natural.
Again this can be good OR bad emotions not that I would encourage the bad but any kind of emotional discharge is better than complete emptiness or nothingness.
The two quotes below says it all:
“It is absolutely imperative for you as a man to evoke strong emotions in a woman in order for her to fall in love with you.
And they don’t have to be positive emotions only – vice versa, an emotional roller coaster works the best. In other words, hate is NOT the opposite of love – it’s its associate and partner.
Indifference is the opposite of love. It is easier for you to make a woman that hates you, to fall in love with you, than a woman who has no feelings whatsoever towards you.”
“…Her angry and her hatred for this guy turns into complete love and devotion to him.
Now how could this happen, right?
You see hatred is not the opposite of love. Hatred is very close to love. It’s a passionate feeling.
The opposite of love is apathy. That’s the opposite. No feeling at all. That’s the worst place to be.”
Thanks again to Bart ( or his wonderful writers ) for showing us guys, what women REALLY want.
We’ve just touched the surface of interpreting the difference between how you make her feel, what she says she wants, on how she acts on those feelings.
The lesson today above all else I suppose is, Don’t be a Bart!
Don’t allow your confusion to get the best of you by how she is acting.
Don’t ask her what she wants, just keep doing what built the attraction in the first place.
If she acts frustrated and turns her back on you with her arms crossed, don’t get angry and react differntly.
Just know she is feeling something.
Granted it may not be good, but it IS something.
If you want to make her feel special at that point, tell her how cute her face looks when she is angry.
Turn your back to hers, cross your arms, and lightly mock her humorously.
The point is not the examples I just used but more of remembering HOW Bart attracted her through his indifference, how they made a connection, how they had fun together, no strings attached…
And unless she gives you a definite reason to change your relationship, short of asking for a commitment, do NOT stop making her feel special by becoming what every other guy became to her…
Because THAT is NOT what she wants!
Women definitely should NOT have to teach or show you what they want because that’s NOT how attraction is built. BUT they certainly DO want you to know so you have to learn it all for yourself. For a more complete and utterly naked look at what women really want go directly to some beautiful women you’re not going to date anyways… Marni and her Wing Girls will reveal to you everything in her most popular series: What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind.
This was part 2 of a three part series on what Bart Simpson can show us about women and how to build attraction too. Make sure you read it all from beginning to end: Does Bart Simpson Understand Women? Part 1 – Woman Testing Men AND Does Bart Simpson Understand Women? Control, Risk and Rewards – Part 3.