Bart Simpson gets caught up in yet another crazy relationship with a girl and surprise surprise, it didn’t end well.
Something tells me this cartoon boy from “The Simpsons” just doesn’t understand women. 🙂
And it becomes all too obvious when he screams in exasperation,
“Just tell me what you want!”
The conclusion of this three-part series on “understanding women” will focus on one simple phrase the girl says which I believe, nice guys fail terribly in without even knowing it…
“Why are guys always trying to control me?”
“Being a “Nice Guy” with women doesn’t work, not because you get too caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but because Nice Guys are typically very, very… SELFISH!
Because they believe the last thing a nice guy does is try to control women whereas the jerk always does.
If it’s not too obvious she was actually controlling HIM despite her comment, but when he placed the “girlfriend” label on her she realized that if she gives in even a little to it, she WILL lose that control because, she will be admitting she likes him.
Interesting, isn’t it?
Do ALL women act like this?
Well not really. At least I don’t think so. 🙂 I suppose some are more extreme than others.
However I believe if we attempt to find the underlying reason which might cause a woman to act that way we can understand women a little better.
Let’s assume ALL women want control because in a way they do.
Their desire to survive is no different from you or me. They are compelled to control situations to make life easier.
Take two women for an incredible threesome… yeah not really but consider both want “control.”
One has less control than the other over who she is. Her life is controlled almost entirely by others and because of it, she lacks her own identity.
She does not have the proper skills to control her feelings so she gains her identity by using her attractive self to control men.
Put another way…
Her inability to control her own life and lack of identity leaves the desire to control unchecked and unfulfilled. To fill this role she uses men and controls them.
The other woman does have control over her emotions and a socially acceptable control over the things around her. Therefore this desire she has can be fulfilled and kept in check.
There is no need to fulfill it by controlling others.
Two completely different actions coming from the same feelings and those two examples CAN teach us how to understand women better and build attraction.
So women DO have some desire to control just like you and me. Even though complete control is absurd and very unhealthy a little can help us to metaphorically “tend the garden to control the insects, water and such.”
How many people would tend a “garden” at all if they knew, without a doubt, a big storm was coming and it would destroy the entire crop? Like it was inevitable.
But we must admit there’s always the risk a huge storm will destroy the hard work anyways so in a way we give up a little control because the reward of food is essential to life.
We take the risk despite it.
Moving that entire concept above into “what women want” we can see women DO have a desire of control but they can be made “willing to risk it” AND give up a little control if the reward is great enough.
Women are willing to give up a little control if they believe or feel it is happening naturally and the the reward is worth the risk because it’s generally accepted relationships are essential to living a healthy fruitful life..
This can easily come down to having good leadership.
Leaders don’t just give orders.
They don’t try to micro-manage or control everything.
Great leaders allow the people they are in charge of to think AND act on their own.
They merely guide them ( or the bigger picture ) through the orders they give. Just one reason women find themselves so attracted to leaders.
Back to Bart and his NOT girlfriend…
In this particular episode, when Bart brings up dating he “unnaturally” introduces a control which is not worth the reward.
It was the control that Bart showed over his OWN abilities which excited her because they WERE worth the reward of a good time with a rebel.
She was a young girl who had overbearing and controlling parents making her even more hesitant to give up what little control she had left. Therefore she would only be willing to do so for the greatest reward, perhaps more than the average girl, and to the guy who was good at engaging only her strongest emotions.
Since this was obviously not going to be Bart, she opted to take her loss of control her parents gave her on to controlling Bart and their relationship.
It’s unfortunate we have a negative example to learn from so why don’t we put a positive spin on all this…
Woman like a dominant man ( so to speak ) and even the most apparent dominate woman can be made submissive when she’s dealing with a man she is highly attracted to or gives her the strongest surge of emotions.
Dominant men are known to have strong leadership skills and a sense of control.
Giving a woman the idea or allowing her to observe it in its natural state that you ARE in control of YOUR life tells her you can handle her life too. Plus it shows her you’re at least THE dominant person in your life goals and happiness.
If you then indirectly prove to her you’re not out to control her AND you’re capable of letting her live her own life she WILL be more than just likely to become highly attracted to you.
That is IF you offer an emotional reward that is worth the risk of some control she might lose in the process.
Why should she give up her control and be submissive to your advancements in dating and sex when the feeling she experiences with you are no better than what she does for herself.
This does not have a “constant” thing because…
You only have to hint or tease her a little with a certain reward attached to it, and then give her that reward when she least expects it.
There’s no need to give her a wild and crazy ride when she just wants a fun, stable ride.
Unless she enjoys jumping from planes, riding dirt bikes, and doing shit like that most women are happy to experience a fun but stable “ride.”
It’s comfortable and normally will mean a more secure mutually beneficial relationship. Something her possible offspring can also benefit from.
The strange part about this that most men don’t realize because the see “reward” as something superficial or tangible is…
The REAL reward being attached is often… you!
Not how you look.
Not how much money you have.
Not by being overly dominant and controlling in her life.
The reward is YOUR ability to lead effectively and by being a dominant role in how you lead YOUR life.
You must understand women will risk a lot for the one guy who offers a true reward in her life.
Bart Simpson, being a cartoon character written to make us laugh didn’t understand that and probably never will… but you can understand it because you’re a real person. 😀
And that truly what woman want from you!
ALL women want to be heard AND understood and if that is done by a guy who also creates the amazing side-effect of building attraction, I’d say it’s best that if you feel you do NOT understand women or how attraction works or how relationships are built…
Do anything and everything you can to MAKE THAT HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY because in your life, that kind of reward is worth taking the risk.
Make sure you read the first two parts of this understanding women series: Does Bart Simpson Understand Women? Part 1. Testing AND Does Bart Simpson Understand Women? Part 2. What Women Want