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Don’t Used A Canned Opener or Pickup Which Leads to Failure – Try This

in Experience, Learning
Pick her up by not using a canned opener.

I received a call from a girlfriend and she told me how this guy tried to pick her up at the market.

He walked up to her and insisted that he knew her from somewhere.

He even mentioned a few places where they might have met to which she replied with a definite “No.”

So he followed up his routine with,

“I’m a psychiatrist and I’m new to the area, maybe I can get your number or email and we can do something sometime.  I don’t know many people here yet so maybe we can be friends.”

She politely responds with,

“No, I don’t just give out my number and I really don’t use email.”

At this point she is highly annoyed and a little creeped out by his insistence.

So much that she is now willing to get his number just to get him to leave BUT as she reaches for her phone he asks the big question,

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

She replies with,

“Yes I do.”

He then apologizes and says goodbye.

Can you spot what he did wrong? Can you spot where his canned opener failed?

If not – it’s okay because I would love to share with you what I thought his mistakes were and hopefully this will help you increase your chances of picking up my girlfriend next time.

First, his “opener”.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Not only is it overused but women always seem to know what’s coming next… you’re trying to pick her up. This puts her “on her guard” and she suspects your motive immediately.

The thing about canned lines like this is she knows just as well as we do, we can use it on any woman, any time, any where, and it implicitly states we DO use it on lots of other women too. Even if we don’t.

A little tip here – if you must use something like this, at least be creative and pretend you DO know her and just start talking to her like you just saw her yesterday.

She’ll get the humor at least.

Here is how I would have approached her based on the circumstance:

Remember, this is MY style. It may not work for everyone. Find your own based on who YOU are and not me and you’ll have much better success.

I like to take from something I believe she is thinking about.

I also like to be a little cocky, ballsy, and funny.

This works best for me.

So I notice she is grabbing the hair dye which makes finding the opener much easier.

I know nothing about hair dye so I would reach for any light color and with a way too serious look on my face say,

“I really need to dye the “carpet” for an upcoming film, which color do you think would look better on me?”

I would then enjoy the dead silence as it sinks in her mind of what I had just said.

A young woman with a sense of humor will eventually assume I wasn’t really serious and she will most likely laugh.

Yes I know it’s over the top but the point is to stay in context, get in her mind, and then get a genuine laugh.

If I was feeling complimentary I might have approached with this:

This will work for more of you guys than what I said above.

“Are you thinking about changing your hair color? If you do I’ll never speak to you again. The color of your hair is absolutely perfect!”

Again I am taking from something that is on her mind and this can not possibly be canned. Unless you can memorize thousands of pickup lines.

His next mistake is where he attempts to mask his intention of picking her up.

“I’m a psychiatrist and I’m new to the area, maybe I can get your number or email and we can do something sometime.  I don’t know many people here yet so maybe we can be friends.”

First, you shouldn’t imply friendship if you are interested in more.

If you want to “Neg” a hot woman, you should only state a friendship with a sarcastic or flirtatious tone. As in…

“You know we can never be friends…”

There’s some great info on how to do that in the article: How to Get It – One Nights Stands With Challenging Conversations . You’ll learn about backhanded compliments, push/pull, and teasing tactics.


He reveals his true intention by asking,

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Never ask a woman if she has a boyfriend unless it’s done sarcastically and in context.

That’s a much better way to find out if she has a boyfriend and you can read about it here –> How To Get Her To Tell You If She’s Single and Has A Boyfriend.

A secret to a great pickup “routine” ( if you want to call it that ) is to first avoid the mistakes this guy made and then learn how to start simple fun conversation at any time.

His mistakes were:

  • Pretending he knew her from somewhere without a fun plan to start a conversation. —> Overused and can be used on any woman. Not original and doesn’t go anywhere.
  • Acting like he we just looking for a friend. —-> Comes off as creepy and desperate.
  • Revealing his “hidden” intentions by asking if she has a boyfriend. —> Seen as a cop-out and goes against the “just friends” statement.

Don’t let a “canner opener” lead to failure when it’s not necessary.

The world and women will hand you everything you need to talk to her and if it doesn’t, walk away and try again.

Take from your surrounding use them to your advantage.

Show some confident fun flirty humor, make her laugh with you a little, and just enjoy the conversation.

If you approached her hoping to get a phone number you may be misleading her without even knowing it.

The best approach is often knowing how to quickly find out if SHE is someone you might want to talk to again.

And I know you can do that without what I’ve given you today.

If she’s seems cool and you want to see her again, end the conversation by asking,

“Wow, it was great meeting you. Put you number in my phone and I’ll get back to you when I hit the frozen food section. Haha!”

If you are having trouble meeting women and you refuse to resort to picking them up, then you’re in the right place because I am right there with you.

First, you have to check out my other site which I’ve dedicated to this sort of thing. It’s called The Approach.

And never forget this…

I am NOT a pickup artist.

I’m just a guy who learned how to start conversations with everyone.

I have never resorted to using cheap tactics or canned openers and I can meet women everywhere I go.

Better yet, I have also learned to create and build attraction through those conversations which I should not have to tell you is very important.

There are many factors at play when you approach a woman:

  • Your confidence.
  • Where you are and how to pull from your surroundings.
  • Your ability to communicate attraction effectively. Which is different from just a having a conversation.
  • Storytelling. Not as important but can be helpful.
  • Body language and positioning.
  • Handling rejection and not taking it all so personally.

There are also many factors that come into play when she is approached:

  • Where she is at in her life.
  • If she’s single.
  • Her confidence.
  • Her self-esteem.
  • Her sense of humor.
  • What she is doing.
  • Who she is with.

It’s extremely clear that just learning a canned opener with all those circumstances in play, will often lead to failure and paying the numbers game may become a waste of time.

But you know what?

That is great news!

Because if you are that guy who refuses to pickup women and you just want to meet more of them for more dating options…

You CAN do just that without having to resort to cheap tactics.

You don’t have to manipulate a woman into giving you something.

You can make her WANT to give you lots of things up to and including – her free time and phone number.

So… secondly… THE Fear of Approach often causes guys like the one above to resort to pickup lines as a crutch.

You can begin to remove those fears by going through this post I put up to eliminate this for good.

It’s appropriately titled —> Putting The Fear of Approaching Women and Being Rejected To Rest – For Good!


If you don’t have a clear understanding of what is really going on your chances of a successful approach go down quickly.

In fact you might as well just guess your way through it.

Your odds of success will be about the same anyways.

But just remember – that woman you’ve been checking out WANTS you to approach her.

She doesn’t want to get “picked up” but she does want to meet the guy who has had his eye on her.

MY girlfriend above was curious about him – and she definitely was intrigued enough to tell me about it.

And you never know.

If he didn’t TRY to pick her up with a canned opener, which was marked to fail from the beginning – I just might have a little competition to have fun with.

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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