It may not seem like a big deal to most men and women, right? Who actually cares? Men get caught staring at “Chics” ALL the time.
But there’s more to all this seemingly innocent “checking girls out” when you’re first learning how to be a more attractive guy and trying to become less of what is commonly called a “Wussy”.
Before you continue please answer a few questions to decide if reading today’s lesson is going to help you:
- What happens when you notice a hot woman?
- Are your eyes automatically drawn to her tits or ass?
- Do you try and “check her out” acting all smooth-like so she doesn’t notice it?
- Do you turn away quickly when her eyes catch you because you’re afraid of getting caught?
- Does it feel like you’re creeping women out and objectifying their bodies?
If any of those questions has you nodding your head up and down with a definite YES, then we should talk.
There’s a distinct difference between checking out a woman and admiring her from afar or up close.
It may seem like they are the same thing and in a way they could be BUT if you’re a guy trying to escape your “wussiness” and become a more attractive man then learning the difference can and will help you out a lot.
Checking her out is like walking through a supermarket’s meat case and finding that perfect piece of beef. When you do it to a woman (no matter what she looks like), makes HER feel objectified and makes YOU look like a creep.
It’s not any better than whistling or cackling with your friends saying, “Oh yeah baby… shake that thing.”
Admiring her is seeing a woman you find attractive. You’re not trying to hide it. You’re not objectifying her. When she notices it you don’t look away quickly or give her a look once over.
You then look at her eyes so you both can acknowledge each other. You can smile at her and that’s it. You might give her a slight Ego boost and that’s okay.
The first difference is surely a matter of confidence – admiring a woman takes real confidence while “checking her out” only lets her know your confidence is fake, you’re trying to show off in front of yours (immaturity) and that even if you have some experience with woman – you just don’t get it.
Getting out of being a wussy around women to becoming a more attractive man is somewhat of a shift in mindset.
You’re not becoming any less of a man because you still can and will notice a woman you find attractive. You understand it’s perfectly okay and natural to notice beauty.
It’s how you handle it, see it for what it is, and how you go about pronouncing it to her.
That’s the real difference.
Allow me to start you with this…
You got caught staring at her ass. It WILL happen.
If you find yourself looking away quickly or pretending that it didn’t happen then that is called a “wussy slip” and these things do and will happen.
When you learn to recognize these moments as they do happen then you’re much closer to re-training your mind to go the other way so it becomes less and less likely to slip you back.
You only get caught when you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re a man who ADMIRES beauty and don’t let anyone including women tell you anything differently.
You can’t get caught when you’re casual about it and smooth enough to not come across as some creepy guy who is taking a mental picture to jerk off to later on.
What happens to you when you notice a hot woman?
You might get excited. You might undress her a little. Some of you might even go so far as imaging her naked.
Again – it’s going to happen and handling it is simply a matter seeing it for what it just is: You FELT attraction.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. Women do it to you too. In fact their fantasies can be much more elaborate than yours and for her, it can all happen in a second.
This doesn’t mean you’re slipping. It doesn’t make you any less than a man.
Are your eyes automatically drawn to her tits or ass or whatever part of her body so you desire?
Again – it will happen. Sometimes it’s almost a reflex.
As long as you’re not lingering and drooling over her – it’s okay and perfectly natural.
What you want to avoid doing is leering at her bodies parts and looking at her like you’re sizing her up. That’s far from attractive and very intrusive to most normal women.
Casually notice what you’re doing and then please, make eye contact as quickly as you can so you don’t come across weak and timid and yes – creepy.
Trust that lots of women are more than okay being checked out by the right guy in the RIGHT way. Some you’ll find it all too easy to cross her line and there’s not much you can do about them.
As long as the time and place is right AND you do it right, don’t beat yourself up over it.
Obviously there are times, places, circumstance, and situations where admiring a woman is NOT alright. I trust you know those so there’s no sense in getting into all of them. I’ll just mention a few:
She’s with her boyfriend or husband. She’s at a funeral. She’s getting married. Etc.. If you have any you’d like to add – please add them in the comment below but again – I’m not doing whole list her because I know you realize when it’ appropriate and when it’s certainly NOT.
Do you try and “check her out” acting all smooth-like so she doesn’t notice it?
This is, under most normal circumstances NOT the right thing to do IF you want to work on or become an attractive man.
Cool and calm and smooth ARE attractive traits but one thing women know is WHEN they’re being checked out and trying to hide it only tells her that you just don’t get it.
Admire her for a quick second. Make eye contact. Smile if it’s right.
But Do NOT try to hide it or pretend you’re not doing it because they will know. Oh yes they will definitely notice and will not like it at all.
Do you turn away quickly when her eyes catch you because you’re afraid of getting caught?
It’s not a problem getting caught if you’re just admiring her. It IS a problem if you’re trying to check her out and you’re afraid of getting caught.
This like above, is a very UNATTRACTIVE way of going about it.
Admiration says to a woman you’re noticing her. You like what you see.
Staring, trying not to get caught – these things just confuse women up to and include piss her off.
When she sees what you’re doing – once again – MAKE SOFT EYE CONTACT – smile if it’s right and just be done with it.
When she looks back and you do catch her eyes – softly gaze back at her and do NOT look away until she does first.
Some women will play flirt with you with their eyes and please by all means – go along with it – she’s sensing you’re a guy who “gets it” and assumes you’re a confident guy who likes to play.
“The truth, which can be either GOOD news or BAD news if you let it, is that the vast majority of women out there ARE indeed VERY, VERY sexual beings.
Enjoy it! It’s not a wussy slip at all. It’s just plain fun and could easily be a start to a wonderful conversation with her.
Does it feel like you’re creeping women out and objectifying their bodies?
Some would say if it feels that way then just maybe you are creeping women out BUT they never take into account the guilty feelings some men (especially the nice guys) feel guilty looking at a woman.
The point here is IF you’re only admiring her and doing it the right attractive way then you’re not creeping her out.
If you do it wrong then you are creeping her out and she will feel objectified.
You must get past those guilty feelings if you’re not doing anything really wrong and it’s an appropriate place and time to do it.
Sure, not everyone (guy or girl) will totally agree when it’s appropriate but don’t worry about that – trust you’re smart enough to know it’s okay and that not everyone agrees on everything anyways.
Today’s lesson is a bit of a strange one – I will admit that but it does have a clear purpose.
While you’re on your journey of becoming a more attractive man you’re going to run into questions you might not have answers for – as in when it’s okay to stare, check out, or admire a woman’s body.
The point today is that you might believe it’s not what an attractive guy does OR you might not feel comfortable doing it because of your “nice guy” beliefs – but both are wrong.
You might feel like it’s a “wussy slip” or a time when you may be reverting back to your “old” less attractive ways however…
When done right – see it for what it really is – do it for what it was intended to be:
Admiring a woman is a good thing. They can and will enjoy it. When done with the right touch of class or charm can actually open a few conversations giving you more opportunities to meet some women you find attractive.
Just be mindful of the real “wussy slips” – the creepy checking out of women, the loud obnoxious objectification of their bodies and if it does happen – catch yourself – notice you did it – do your best to avoid it from happening again and everything is going to be alright. Promise.
Thanks for stopping by today and hopefully you found what you were searching for and of course to the answer to your question.
Make sure you sign up below today for more great answers to your many questions – tips on how to become a more attractive man “naturally” and everything DiaLteG TM stand for delivered to your inbox.
Any comments, questions, suggestions, problems, tips, advice, experiences, leave them below.
One last thing – just to be sure you’re okay with all this and come to grips with your natural attraction to women – and admiring beauty – READ THIS:
And leave your answer on that post please.