I was out at a bar the other night far from just “checking out girls.”
It was not a classy place at all. No dance floor. Dirty.
Smelled like wet basement…
I call it, “The Pube.”
Against all norms there were about five attractive women hanging out which changed the whole “status” of the night.
Despite its “sadness” the social dynamics there are amazing to watch.
The theme of that “social” night was…
“Treating women like objects.”
Objectifying their bodies with little regard or care to interact.
This guy I met, well sort of interacted with, felt the need to inform me of the women who were flaunting their wares that evening.
“Those chics are hot.”
“She has great tits.”
“Look at that ass.”
When I didn’t respond favorable or probably gave him a look of disapproval he felt it necessary to mention a woman’s legs.
As if to prove to me he wasn’t just sizing up a particular slab of meat, he was eye-ing all parts of them.
Hey don’t get me wrong, I KNOW what it feels like when an extremely attractive woman walks by and how all of us are born with this natural instinct to be physically attracted to women.
And I DO understand sometimes we don’t know how to act. We often react based on our experiences or lack thereof in the area of bedding beautiful women.
The problem is…
Status, in a limited definition is a big part of attracting women and when we objectify them… or check them out and feel the need to tell others about them like that guy did:
We trade our status in for something else which in turn make her unreachable.
If you don’t believe me then please read on because if you can learn to avoid giving up this status you’ll be seen as that much more attractive.
Here are three ways checking her out lowers your status and decreases your ability to create attraction:
1. Giving away your sexual power and demoting your leadership role to follower.
The power of your decisions affects those around you.
When you fail with it many others do too and that means you must be responsible for it.
And it’s up to you to decide if you want to give up that power in the sexual sense.
Giving it up quickly displays to a woman you are not a true leader because for better or worse, leaders are granted an initial right of higher status.
Checking her out in that way above gives her the right to use her body against you.
And not in a good way.
Great leaders don’t allow “smoke and mirrors” to deflect attention.
Great leaders succeed by seeing the whole picture but also understand how each part has to play its role.
Looking at just one part way too much objectively means you’re not seeing the big picture.
2. Giving in to your immediate emotions and lacking any real control of your character.
Passion is great for attraction but passion without some sort of control over it… is not!
Women quickly fall for guys who have remarkable restraint.
This ability serves a greater purpose and women know it.
Checking her out… telling your friends about it… objectifying her publicly quickly lowers your status because it displays a complete lack of restraint.
Showing off to your friends also says to her that you’re an approval seeker which again, lowers your status.
3. Giving in to her expectations.
If you want to ruin all unpredictability with a woman give in to her expectations of who she thinks you are and how she believes you’ll react.
Checking her out ( in this way ) is a predictable action performed everyday by men.
Don’t fall into her expectations and be different.
Keep “your” mystery close to your side and your status will in all likelihood remain strong AND attractive.
When you “perform” to her exact expectations of every other guy – particularly the guys you’re hanging out with, you fade into the background of her expectation of what ALL men do.
Thus lowering your status so something average, common or un-exciting or not worth bothering over.
I‘ve found maintaining status is a tricky thing to do because there are so many aspects of it in our society.
It’s tough work!!!
And to give it up just because you feel like objectifying a woman with your friends for even one night may not be worth it.
Un-doing the hard work and effort which comes with just trying to be a real man might put it in perspective for us.
Once you’ve worked your ass off to maintain “attractive status” women WILL notice.
Which to some becomes an irresistible trait you’ve earned… and that earns you respect.
Don’t lower your status by checking her out and if you ever fall back and let it slip… read this: I Was Caught Staring At Her Ass – How To Handle The Wussy Slip
Keep in mind there’s a difference between admiring a woman and objectifying her in the manner listed above.
Admiring her means you’re going to have to interact with her.
Objectifying her implies no interaction with little regard to her personal self.
Guys who admire women don’t have to give up their status BUT checking her out, objectifying her with your friends without care can mean you’ll lose any and all attractive edge you might have had AND you’ll lose important status too.