Is this every guys dream or what? Women chasing YOU! You being the prize. Lots of women approaching you, wanting you...so you can just sit back and enjoy the ride.
You finally get to pick which one you want.
Sounds like a woman's life, doesn't it?
Seems to me most guys who want this also believe women are in charge - of dating that is.
How she gets to choose exactly what she wants and unfortunately many times it's probably not the right choice. At least you would think so.
One of the underlying reasons to become a more attractive man is all in the word - Attractive.
Which means women are drawn towards you.
They are driven by some "magical" force which compels them to want to be near you.
But when it comes to chasing women most men find a dilemma...
You can sit back and wait for them to come doing everything in your power to appeal to them AND if you do the right things it will work.
However if you pick up a book for women on how to attract you it's filled with finding a man who is a true leader in the relationship.
How she's not supposed to chase YOU.
How if you don't take the helm and command the courtship she's NOT allowed to do it herself.
That is, IF she wants a REAL man.
Get the right book on attracting women and the same goes - "You're in charge." they say.
Women want leaders.
You're the one in "control" of the relationship.
You have to take the lead, approach her, seduce her, manage the family's well-being... You're the "man."
The dilemma is clear - if women are to chase you - if they're to approach you - if they're the ones doing the seducing - then how does that work?
It implies you're giving up your leadership status and letting her, "Be the man." So to speak of course unless you're into that kind of thing.
If you opt to have women come to you and sort of reverse the roles - then aren't you in a way saying you want to be the woman?
Or at least for her to step up and share the anxiety of approach seemingly left for us guys to suffer with.
Which might be what it feels like to some men.
They want her and they will do anything to get her - as long as it is on his terms and not hers. A bit of the male "ego" just trying to save face or stay masculine.
So is there a way to avoid it all - remain masculine - keep your male traits - to quite literally stop chasing women and they'll still want you?
Enough for them to do something about it without them becoming the seducer so you can still be "the man."
I believe the secret lies in the word "attraction."
You want to "attract" women into your life.
As if that's a real secret.
The real truth of the matter is...
YOU must create a life for yourself that women will want to be a part of so much, you trigger her urge to feel compelled to chase you. (Without giving up her feminine side.)
You sort of "short-circuit" her ability or desire to rationalize before she acts.
Which is by no means the easiest thing to do.
Asking any woman to act before she thinks is almost impossible.
It must happen or feel natural enough to her to override any sense of what society says is her role... To be pursued by one or more courting men to give her the best options to choose from.
Think for a minute when a woman is most likely to have that happen.
When it's more probable for her to act first and then question herself after.
And when does a person, you or I, get asked to act instinctively in order to succeed...
Competitive ( sometimes aggressive ) Sports.
There's little time to think and you actually train to avoid over-thinking so you'll react or score quicker than your opponent.
Another example would be anyone trained to respond to emergencies.
These people train to react so their minds can short-circuit the fear but they still must perform properly or something bad is going to happen.
Now transfer that over to a woman's attraction and what she is more likely to be attracted to...
Your social status and your social communication skills.
This means if you could "train" women to act more competitive (for you of course ) AND have her act "fearless" but "smart" AND allow it to mostly happen in a (it helps if it's important to her) social environment - you could very easily get women to start chasing you.
Suddenly it all gets pieced together in simple steps any man with the right drive can achieve:
- She must feel like she has to compete with other women for you. You're a wanted guy. Some call that social proofing.
- She must feel "fearless" around you and still feel she's doing the right thing. Like it's the "smart" thing to do.
- She must be allowed to believe and feel it's a completely natural thing for her. No scripts!! Like it all seems to be happening in the moment. In other words she gets swept away in her intense emotions.
- She must feel, at some point, you're willing or capable, (and it happened because of her) of sharing with her something you don't give to other woman.
It's all relatively clear now your social skills will play a major role.
Your ability to attract ( by any means necessary ) women you might not even want.
Your natural indifference must create an attraction as I mentioned before as a side effect to your life...
...with her I didn’t try to make her feel anything. I merely allowed her to feel something for me. Her attraction to me was a side effect to a part of me I did not allow the “other” woman to see.
Your lifestyle must draw her in...
"You want women to believe and see you’re a social guy who “knows” people. People know you and are always more than willing to grab your ear.
You want a list of places to take a date or just go when you’re looking for a good time.
You want to fill your “friends” list full of people you enjoy being around. Careful not to get too involved because you’re probably going to have to do more than before. For most just stay casual.
You want women to feel and see your personality “in action.” You don’t tell a women (even in an online profile) who you are, you show them by demonstrating it. And you can do that by putting yourself in situations that will naturally bring that out."
In some way (granted sometimes this can be done with no strict morals in place) you must "trigger" her competitive nature to compete with other more than qualified women...
Call it extensive social proofing or demonstrating highly competent social skills, if she embraces a sense of urgency is involved to have or get you from (her) she will be more inclined (and fearless) to chase you.
Remember, generally speaking, it's a human trait or urge to immediately follow after someone else begins to lead.
People are more likely to do something when someone does it first.
Especially when intense emotions of fear are present.
Don't let the fears of (dating) men and women fool you, it's highly intense and plays a huge part in it all.
Extend to women the courage she needs to pursue, allow another to show her it's "okay" and it will feel like the right thing to do.
Since you're not allowed to chase her - sweeping her off her feet becomes allowing the situation, your charm, personality and social skills, etc.. to "unpredictably" unwind more naturally than anything else.
Tough one - that I know...
How DO you create those "magic moments" for her without setting up a predictable or highly probable event centering around romance and dating?
Give up controlling outcomes or predictions ( future living ) and learn to create moments ( present living.)
A concept I first heard from Sean Stephenson.
You don't set out thinking "How can I get this girl to kiss me?"
You simply create moments where it is more likely to happen AND you react with positive, sexual but not offensive energy.
So let's say you're dropping her off and you want her to kiss you.
Now you can put on that "I want to kiss you" face and hope she'll get the hint and actually want to kiss you, but once you do that you're chasing her and she knows it.
SO... if you're really feeling it with a woman you will find yourself experiencing moments which to her will last much longer.
Since in her mind those few seconds in your head lasted several minutes for her, how you react during those times will ultimately set up her to increase her desire to kiss you first or put her lips as close to yours as she can.
If you miss those moments or let them pass with any anxiousness or uncomfortable energy she will sense it.
When the right time peaks and she wants to kiss more than likely she will wait for you to make the move and if you don't she WILL feel rejected and even less likely to ever make the move first.
Truly intimate moments of connection can happen anytime, anywhere.
Extend the "last a lifetime" feeling by acknowledging the moments with subtle confidence and a warm face.
Sometimes, NOT dependent where you are with her, accompany it with a soft reassuring touch that is just barely sexual.
In other words don't just grab her ass.
Your warm face projects to her you know what's she feeling but not cocky enough to be a jerk about it. (Unless that's the type of woman you want.)
To really make this work you must not linger in the moment.
Let it pass and move on.
If you're in a quiet intimate setting this will happen several times and you can always encourage it by not staying in one place.
Don't jump around unpredictably.
Think of your time with her are short little dances and the occasional "old timey dip" kind of - just happens.
At that point you might want the look on your face to naturally feel the emotion that very slowly until it passes acquire a look that is questioning and accusing her of seducing you.
Don't say it.
Lastly - Sharing with her something you don't with other women.
Now I understand you've seen this happen. Probably directly on TV and from watching some supposed jerk with a hot girl.
How she insists he's different,
"You don't know him like I do!!!"
Or Despite his attitude he's really sweet to me,
"You just don't understand him!!!"
In a way he's doing the old "share with you something I never do with OTHER women" so she feels special.
Does that work?
Probably sometimes depending on who she is or where's she at.
The point is, underneath that action is a definite "trigger" of attraction that can have women chasing you.
Very loosely based on the The Bad Boy Formula Special Report Right Now! (40 page direct link special report – no sign ups – just right to the good stuff!)
- and "14 Ways to Attract Women", which is my personal ebook.
The first part was re-witten and posted here: Four Steps on How To Use Jerk or Bad Boy Traits to Attract Girls Nicely
What you do is to take the emotion created by a jerk, bad boy, or player, and devise a clever "nice" way to create that same emotion.
It's a really cool technique but it does require a fair amount of understanding her attraction to do it yourself.
The feeling in this case is making her feel special.
You make her feel younger (lightly) , a little shy, a little innocent, you bring out the nurturer in her, and you simply support those emotions.
Yes - sharing can do all those things.
So you can do it like the "jerk" and be a "jerk" about it - or you can do "younger" things with her, a genuine compliment which goes beyond the ordinary but is not over the top, be fully confident, and trust her to "keep" a secret with you.
Now a secret can be anything which is only between you and her.
It doesn't have to bad gossip, or a deep emotional trauma you suffered.
In fact avoid both those for best results.
How do you stop chasing women, through all this, then becomes a matter of a few changes in your life so they'll begin to chase you.
I understand you might find it difficult to stop yourself from putting yourself in chase mode - which is why I've included some extra helpful reading.
This one will help you get inside her head and make the transition from "chaser" to "chooser" much easier.
You can read it later.
"So the battle cry of the man who feels women have all the power in relationships is, “Yeah, but SHE can get laid anytime she wants…it’s US GUYS who have to try so hard!”
Want to know something? It’s PRECISELY that one-dimensional way of thinking that’s KEEPING YOU in “chaser mode“.
If you are frustrated with the power women seem to have over you, that’s why."
If you still feel compelled to chase it's a safe bet you feel a constant loss which is generating your need to fill that emotion.
Like how you want to see her way too often because you feel you're going to lose her to someone else.
Meaning "other" guys appear to be a better "catch" than you.
I'm not going to say this is the easiest thing to overcome - although for most of you it will be.
But I will tell you self-esteem boosting must become a part of your life.
Fill your needs with personal development.
A stable exercise routine.
A healthier diet.
A stronger real love of your career path.
In other words take care of yourself and find a way to see how valuable you really are...
Fully grasp the idea that chasing women is merely a reaction to trying to fill your life or make yourself more complete.
Completing yourself the best you can will ultimately stop the need or desire to chase.
Add to that all of which you learned today and you will find women are more inclined to pursue and chase you.