Is it your every dream or fantasy to have women chasing you? You're the wanted prize and her trophy. Women approaching you, wanting you, starting conversations with you...
You can finally just relax and enjoy the ride.
You can lean back and pick which one of your adoring fans will be your choice.
Sounds like a woman's life, doesn't it? How they appear to be in charge of your destiny in dating.
How she gets to choose exactly what she wants and us men are left to be hopeful chosen as she decides OUR sexual future.
Fair or not? Real or not? Want it or not? What do you believe?
In the all-too-often used phrase around here at DiaLteG™ - "become a more attractive man" exists a key word:
Attraction in one way means to DRAW something in like a crowd to an amusement park or sporting event or in this case, YOU.
Women can be driven by some unseen magical force (attraction) which compels them to want to be with you in one way or another.
Getting women to chase you then assumes your attractive force will DRAW them towards you.
However, when it comes to all this "getting women to chase you" we find many dilemmas and problems because standard knowledge of our human mating ritual states:
Men like the hunt. They chase the women.
Women lure men in and "allow" certain men in closer.
You can do things, sit back, and they will come to you, Women WILL chase you under the right conditions.
Despite the fact that if you pick up a book for women on how to attract men it's filled with finding a man who is a true leader in the relationship.
How she's not supposed or allowed to chase YOU or else she'll end up with the wrong men.
How if YOU don't take the helm and command the courtship she's NOT allowed to do it herself.
That is, IF she wants a REAL man.
Get the right book on attracting women and the same goes, You're in charge." they say.
Women want leaders. You're the one in "control" of the relationship and when and where it goes.
You have to take the lead, approach her, seduce her, manage the family's well-being...
You're the "man" ... man!
It's clear that if women are to chase you, if they're to approach you, if they're the ones doing all the seducing, then how does all this mating ritual stuff to work the way it was supposedly designed to work?
Women chasing you has you giving up your leadership status and letting her, "Be the man." So to speak of course unless you're into that kind of thing.
If you opt to have women come to you and sort of reverse the roles, then aren't you in a way saying you want to be the woman?
Think about that last statement a little before you read more and let me know what you think.
Now for the really BIG question you came here for the answer...
Is there a way to avoid acting or being the woman, remain masculine and Alpha, keep your male traits and parts in place, to altogether stop chasing women and they'll still want you more than enough to start CHASING YOU?
At least just enough for them to do something about it without them becoming the seducer so you can still be "the man".
I believe there definitely is and the ANSWER lies in the word "attraction".
Let's go beyond the "semantics?" for now of the brilliant Scot McKay who proved men and women both do the chasing but they're just chasing different things.
Here's a key component to making it work:
You want to "attract" women into your life.
You must create a life for yourself that women will want to be a part of so much, you trigger her compulsive urge to feel compelled to chase you and override her normal senses without making her feel like she's giving up her femininity.
You want to "short-circuit" her need to rationalize before she acts. Which is by no means the easiest thing to do for most.
Some believe that asking any woman to act before she thinks is practically if not all impossible.
It must happen or feel natural enough to her to override any sense of what society says is her role... To be pursued by one or more courting men to give her the best options to choose from.
Think for a minute when a woman is most likely to have that happen.
When it's more probable for her to act first and then question herself after.
And when does a person, you or I, get asked to act instinctively in order to succeed...
The answer is in:
Competitive (sometimes aggressive) Sports.
There's little time to think and you actually train to avoid over-thinking so you'll react or score quicker than your opponent.
Another example would be anyone trained to respond to emergencies. They are trained to react so their minds can get past their fears and save lives.
Now transfer that over to a woman's attraction and what she is more likely to be attracted to...
Your social status and your social communication skills.
This means if you could "train" women to act more competitive (for you of course) AND have her act "fearless" but "smart" AND allow it to mostly happen in a (it helps if it's important to her) social environment - you could very easily get women to start chasing you.
Suddenly it all gets pieced together in relatively simple ways any man with the right drive and learned skills can achieve:
She must feel like she has to compete (sometimes aggressively) with other women for you.
She must feel fearless around you and yet still feel she's doing the right thing. How it's the "smart" thing to do as if she's saving a life.
She must be allowed to believe and feel it's a completely natural thing for her. How it all seems to be happening in the moment.
She must be allowed or made to be swept away in the moments which are driven by and through many of the intense emotions women experience.
She must feel, at some point, that you're willing or capable, and it all happened because of her, of sharing with her something you don't give to other woman. (Explanation on this one perhaps later because this one is confusing.)
A natural indifference.
One woman chased me fiercely and at the time I didn't understand why but I do now.
It's something I cover for members of DiaLteG™ in the first chapter about not interrupting a woman's process of attraction.
Her intense attraction towards me was in part created as a side effect to a part of me I did not allow other women to see.
I didn't "try" to make he feel anything.
I accidentally allowed her process of attraction to build and developed without any interruption on my part whatsoever.
Yeah... oops!!! I "accidentally" got it right.
Creating a very real "natural indifference" is a major necessary component to getting lots of women to chase you.
Here's the preview page I set up so you can get the basic idea of how it's done and why it works:
Your lifestyle must draw her in.
"You want women to believe and see you’re a social guy who “knows” people. People know you and are always more than willing to grab your ear.
You want a list of places to take a date or just go when you’re looking for a good time.
You want to fill your “friends” list full of people you enjoy being around. Careful not to get too involved because you’re probably going to have to do more than before. For most just stay casual.
You want women to feel and see your personality “in action.” You don’t tell a women (even in an online profile) who you are, you show them by demonstrating it. And you can do that by putting yourself in situations that will naturally bring that out."
In some way (granted sometimes this can be done with no strict morals in place) you must "trigger" her competitive nature to compete with other more than qualified women...
Call it extensive social proofing or demonstrating highly competent social skills, if she embraces a sense of urgency is involved to have or get you from (her) she will be more inclined (and fearless) to chase you.
Remember, generally speaking, it's a human trait or urge to immediately follow after someone else begins to lead.
People are more likely to do something when someone else does it first.
Especially when intense emotions of fear are present.
Don't let the fears of (dating) men and women fool you, it's highly intense and plays a huge part in it all.
Extend to women the courage she needs to pursue, allow another to show her it's "okay" and it will feel like the right thing to do.
Since you're not allowed to chase her - sweeping her off her feet becomes allowing the situation, your charm, personality and social skills, etc.. to "unpredictably" unwind more naturally than anything else.
Tough one - that I know...
How DO you create those "magic moments" for her without setting up a predictable or highly probable event centering around romance and dating?
Give up controlling outcomes or predictions (future living) and learn to create moments (present living).
A concept I first heard from Sean Stephenson.
You don't set out thinking "How can I get this girl to kiss me?"
You simply create moments where it is more likely to happen AND you react with positive, sexual but not offensive energy.
So let's say you're dropping her off and you want her to kiss you.
Now you can put on that "I want to kiss you" face and hope she'll get the hint and actually want to kiss you, but once you do that you're chasing her and she knows it.
If you're really feeling it with a woman you will find yourself experiencing moments which to her will last much longer.
Since in her mind those few seconds in your head lasted several minutes for her, how you react during those times will ultimately set up her to increase her desire to kiss you first, or put her lips as close to yours as she can.
If you miss those moments or let them pass with any anxiousness or uncomfortable energy she will sense it.
When the right time peaks and she wants to kiss you, more than likely she will wait for you to make the move and if you don't she WILL feel rejected and even less likely to ever make the move first.
Truly intimate moments of connection can happen anytime, anywhere.
Extend the "last a lifetime" feeling by acknowledging the moments with subtle confidence and a warm face.
Sometimes, NOT dependent where you are with her, accompany it with a soft reassuring touch that is just barely sexual.
In other words don't just grab her ass.
Your warm face projects to her you know what's she feeling but not cocky enough to be a jerk about it. (Unless that's the type of woman you want.)
To really make this work you must not linger in the moment.
Let it pass and move on.
If you're in a quiet intimate setting this will happen several times and you can always encourage it by not staying in one place.
Don't jump around unpredictably.
Think of your time with her as short little dances and the occasional "old timey dip" kind of... just happens.
At that point you might want the look on your face to naturally feel the emotion that very slowly until it passes acquires a look that is questioning and accusing her of seducing you.
Just don't actually say it!
Sharing with her something you don't with other women.
Now I understand you've seen this happen. Probably directly on TV and from watching some supposed jerk with a hot girl.
How she insists he's different,
"You don't know him like I do!!!"
Or, despite his attitude he's really sweet to me,
"You just don't understand him!!!"
In a way he's doing the old "share with you something I never do with OTHER women" so she feels special.
Does that work?
Probably sometimes depending on who she is or where's she at but...
The point is, underneath that action is a definite "trigger" of attraction that can have women chasing you.
In one lesson I give to members...
I show how it's possible to take an attractive emotion created by some jerk and devise a clever "nice" way to create that very same emotion without all the negative side effects put on you and her.
It's a really cool technique but it does require a fair amount of understanding of a woman's attraction to do it yourself.
The feeling in this case would be making her feel special.
You make her feel younger (slightly) , a little shy, a little innocent, you bring out the nurturer in her, and you simply support those emotions.
Yes, sharing can do all those things.
So you can do it like the "jerk" and be a "jerk" about it or you can actually DO "younger" things with her, a genuine compliment which goes beyond the ordinary but is not over the top, be fully confident, and trust her to "keep" a (your special) secret with you.
Now a secret can be anything which is only between you and her.
It doesn't have to bad gossip, or a deep emotional trauma you suffered.
In fact avoid both those for best results.
How do you stop chasing women, through all this, then becomes a matter of a few changes in your life so they'll begin to chase you.
I understand you might find it difficult to stop yourself from putting yourself in chase mode - which is why I've included some extra helpful reading.
This one will help you get inside her head and make the transition from "chaser" to "chooser" much easier.
You can read it later.
"So the battle cry of the man who feels women have all the power in relationships is, “Yeah, but SHE can get laid anytime she wants…it’s US GUYS who have to try so hard!”
Want to know something? It’s PRECISELY that one-dimensional way of thinking that’s KEEPING YOU in “chaser mode“.
If you are frustrated with the power women seem to have over you, that’s why."
If you still feel compelled to chase it's a safe bet you feel a constant loss which is generating your need to fill that emotion.
Like how you want to see her way too often because you feel you're going to lose her to someone else.
Meaning "other" guys appear to be a better "catch" than you.
I'm not going to say this is the easiest thing to overcome - although for most of you it will be.
But I will tell you self-esteem boosting must become a part of your life.
Fill your needs with personal development.
A stable exercise routine.
A healthier diet.
A stronger real love of your career path.
In other words take care of yourself and find a way to see how valuable you really are...
Fully grasp the idea that chasing women is merely a reaction to trying to fill your life or make yourself more complete.
Completing yourself the best you can will ultimately stop the need or desire to chase.
Add to that all of which you learned today and you will find women are more inclined to pursue and chase you.