Do Girls Like Quiet Guys?

What exactly  IS a "quiet" guy? Is he humble? Socially awkward or borderline dysfunctional? Afraid to speak his mind or avoids confrontation?

"Quiet" is such a broad term and if we try to understand, guess, or discuss whether "girls" actually like quiet guys then we must look a little deeper into the type of the less-spoken man first.

Take a good-looking guy who appears to take care of himself, walks tall and confidently, holds his head high and may not be overly successful but shows a certain strength in what he chooses to do for a living.

But he has a real problem talking to people. He does NOT communicate well with others which obviously includes girls. For whatever his reasons are he talks very little and keeps to himself.

Will he attract lots of women? Will lots of girls still "like" him?

Absolutely YES!

His physical presence or attractiveness gets him noticed immediately. Now that's normally not enough for anything else to happen BUT when women soon see he's the quiet shy type who rarely opens up, that's when her attractive curiosity is really triggered.

His looks get him noticed and his lack of conversational skills or social ability makes him APPEAR to be a mysterious guy. (Whether he is or not does not really matter.)

AND  a mysterious man can be very alluring,

"A mystery is something which is difficult or impossible to understand or explain, therefore a mysterious man is often a guy who is difficult or hard to understand or explain.

A quiet guy can be the creepy wallflower dude who just stares at women and never talks to them OR he can easily be the Alpha Male who interacts with everyone but holds backs just enough to make them all wonder. Thus creating attraction."

7 Reasons Why Women Like A Quiet and Mysterious Man Plus How To Be Him

She finds herself more attracted to what he COULD be which goes above and beyond just your typical good-looking guy attraction. It runs much deeper which makes it much more powerful.

A guy who is generally quiet also does something else which is equally a draw as just being mysterious.

Being quiet makes it LOOK LIKE  you don't care about what others think of you.

It doesn't have to be true but it can APPEAR that way to others.

Not giving a shit normally equates to indifference and strength.

Real or not, perception or the way its perceived is more important.

Shyness does that too but also challenges a woman to open him up. It makes her just curious enough to WANT to know what makes him tick.

Combined into a package of physical attractiveness and you'll find lots of girls who all too easily are drawn to his accidental magnetism.

One more item which makes the quiet guy attractive is another "perceived" item of humility.

He takes care of himself therefore he must value himself. He appears to hold himself to a high standard. Since he's quiet he's obviously not publicly bragging, boasting, or displaying a fake over-confident attitude.

His humbleness (combined with his perceptiveness of humility) gives him yet another reason why girls like him so much.

"3. He’s Humble - Like I always say, any “jerk” can act cocky with a woman… but coming across as CONFIDENT requires something else: the ability to control what you say and do so that you never come across as “above” anyone else."

The 4 Sure Signs Of Confidence That Women Look For In A Man

That was all on the assumption the guy is good-looking and therefore draws attention through his physical attributes.

What if he's just some average looking guy?

You might think not having a physical draw could be a problem for the average looking guy BUT it's not.

Women will generally look past the exterior and not having movie-star looks can actually be a benefit.

He becomes more real.

More approachable.

Looks less like a player therefore might be less likely to play her.

She might consider that he MUST have some substance beneath the rough exterior.

That is assuming he also displays what the better-looking guy does:

Confidence and a high value in himself.

That is the REAL draw for a real woman.

The rest, who only look at handsomeness first, well they tend to fall in another category not worth mentioning at this point.

Just because he's average looking does NOTHING to lessen his attractiveness because the same perceptions hold true.

His lack of so-called better communication skills with others does little to decrease how much a girl will like him.

Now of course his shyness does have certain limitations. It probably should be worked on in order to truly "succeed" with women.

(If success is a term which could be used in dating anyways.)

The point is being quiet and shy might limit his availability to opportunity to meet and interact with girls but when added with confidence and high value of himself will NOT diminish the attraction he can create with women for all the reason listed above.

But hey, just because a guy isn't with a girl, or appears to have little experience in that area does not make him any less capable of attracting his fair share of women.

Before we continue, move on, or conclude...

A HUGE word of warning to ANY guy who finds themselves asking or wondering if they could be well liked just because they're shy and quiet.

(Which I'm assuming is one reason to came here today so it must be covered.)

If you're asking if a girl can like you because you feel the important attractive skills of communication is not nor will ever be your thing...

Maybe it's something you tried to work on but gave up.

Perhaps you're looking for some sort of reassurance that your shyness will eventually work n your favor.

It's also possible that you're noticing some girls are checking you out and you want something or someone to convince or show you that what you saw was correct and possibly you are one of the good-looking guys.

Maybe this is YOUR way of gaining the courage to approach one of them in a lame effort to avoid rejection. In other ways you're trying to find a clever way around actually having the courage to be publicly shot down.


As it is in too many cases you're just too lazy to climb out of your safe box and get it taken care of... then we need to talk!

Obviously I don't know your goals. I don't know what success with women (there's that word again... success) means to you.

I have no idea what your goals are in dating and relationships - that is unless you PUT THEM HERE.

In fact I probably shouldn't even care.

My point is...

If you think or believe that none of this is possible, or your fears are not something you can overcome, or your goals in anything in life can be achieved...

Then you're just plain flat out WRONG.

The warning I'm so forcefully throwing at you is that these sort of things tend to bubble over or seep into many parts of your life making it much more difficult to achieve success in other areas too.

It's all connected and if you feel like life is getting beyond your means - just because you're quiet and shy or whatever your excuse is - getting more dates, attracting lots of women, learning how to be socially competent or communicating attraction IS by far the BEST PLACE TO START.

Because well, it's girls man.

What more do I need to say about that?

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Okay, I've said my peace.

Now on to the lighter side.

If you are a quiet and shy guy, trust me when I say it's typically better than being the complete opposite.

From the famous quote of Carl Spackler in Caddyshack,

"So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

So yeah, you do got that goin' for you and it's certainly better and easier to overcome than the "other" side.

The overly loud obnoxious blow-hard who shoves his will on everyone he comes in contact everyday of his poor "Love me!" "Hear me!" " I NEED the attention!" "Notice me please!"  life.

Girls absolutely do like quiet guys.

Two Girls Liking Quiet Shy Guy

He doesn't have to be good-looking. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it does not.

He triggers her curiosity. Her need to know. She's attracted to the mystery of him and what could be underneath his quiet demeanor.

She can become easily attracted to her perception or assumptions that he's humble, does not seek approval, is indifferent or doesn't seem to care what others think of him.

She also can become obsessed with the challenge his shyness offers and her ability to change or open him up.

A quiet shy guy in some ways is better than the opposite and in my view does attract more women than the other side.

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Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

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The article is posted in these Categories: What Women Want From Men, Types, Preferences, Traits, & Sexual Desires

Leave a Comment

5 comments… add one
  • E

    I’ll call it right here. Bull. F’ing. Dook.

  • Chris

    As a rather extroverted guy who had a shy phase in my college years, I can say that certain women generally find themselves drawn to quite guys.

    These certain women are usually the opposite: they are usually very chatty, sociable and outgoing. There’s a real yin-yang thing that happens in relationships and human interaction. Quiet guys, attract and are attracted to outgoing/talkative women.

    It also works the other way: shy, quiet women tend to find themselves with talkative, outgoing men.

    A lot of that has to do with a good life partner is someone who fills in the areas you aren’t so naturally good with. You become a well rounded team. Nor are you competing for the same oxygen by both being chatty, or both being shy.

    Now, that said, plenty of men are just bad listeners. That’s a product of cultural sexism, machismo, or just bad manners. Whatever the reason, the single most important quality to building attraction, creating a personal charisma is showing a genuine interest and a kind of intuitive connection to other people.

    This is not possible if you are yacking all the time. So the guy who listens, ask questions and shows sincere interest in a female as a person, will always have a woman’s attention in a way the good-looking, cocksure braggart will never get.

    • Peter White

      Great points Chris, thanks for sharing. I’m sure lots of guys will benefit from your words.

  • Akshay

    Very Insightful article Peter, just tweeted this. This clarifies a lot of things. And I’m totally agree with you, women are attracted to those who communicate the Right things. Nobody likes you if your talking crap, those are talkers, and they do grab attention and not the sexy attention that they’re looking for. Little bit mystery is absolute necessary, it force your girl to chase after you and get know more about you. And we all know Peter, where there’s no chase, there’s no fun 😉
    Thanks for the article and keep up the great work that you’re doing!

    • peter white

      Thank you.

      Yes, communication is everything to women. What we communicate (even a little) is often taken and ran with so we must be careful not to send things the wrong early on.

      Thanks again for the insight and it’s great to hear you liked my article, I will keep it up.