Do Nice Guys Use Women For Sex?

It's assumed that nice guys don't use women for sex because they're decent men who only do "nice" things which would obviously include women and girls alike.

I have a different point of view based on my personal experiences with women and by the end - while you'll still have your opinion I intend to change your mind...

Nice guys DO use women for sex!

They are just not as successful as those "other" guys in getting the job done.

Read on as I explain my pathetic history with women...

I have tried every NOT trick in the book to GET women in the nicest possible way. Which simply means I avoided trying to trick women.

(As if anyone if their right minds believes a woman COULD be tricked into feeling attracted to a guy anyways, right?)

I treated them ALL with respect and held them to the highest degree of being a fellow human being and not just some nice piece of ass.

I tried NOT to objectify their bodies and when I say "try", honestly, can't recall many hotties I didn't dream or imagine bending them over.

Hypocritical - perhaps, so I'll explain a little further.

My reality was having to go (or should I say SUFFER) without sex for years does something to a man.

Maybe we'll get into more of that later but seeing them all, being so close to what I thought was beauty every stinking day - and not being able to ever touch them or DO "nice" things to them - well who could blame my sexual imagination when it was the only thing I had in my hand at the end of any night.

I've proposed or declared that I would NEVER cheat on ANY woman who would have or accept me as a boyfriend.

Of course that's easy to say when you're not getting any or have no other choices, isn't it?

When your selection of women barely gets you hard even when you're drunk off your ass, it's all too easy to declare you would never cheat IF SHE (you know the current female friend you're wanting so badly) would have you.

The reality turned out much different because when I learned how I can attract lots of women of MY choice - it didn't take me long to cheat (once or twice) on "that" girlfriend.

I'm not one to defend myself so I don't look bad but as the story goes - my ex-ex-ex girlfriend was as they say (and I mean literally in every sense of the word) bat-shit crazy and so was her "best friend" who talked me into sexting her WHILE talking on the phone with my then current "girlfriend".

Did I mention that I'm a nice guy - you can make the call on that one.


Lots of quotes are needed because as you'll soon learn the story of my retched affair with both of them, you'll realize it wasn't at all what it appeared to be on the surface.

In other words - being as real as it was - it wasn't real at all. More on that little pathetic adventure much later.

Back to how this post all started...

I've written them lame-ass cheesy poems, gave them flowers and little gifts on their special days, wrote songs for them, kissed their asses up and down every second of the day I was "allowed" to and why...

Because I thought the way to their hearts was to be a hopeless romantic.

Guess I believed the movies I grew up watching when they were all just lies fabricated by pathetic guys like I was who wished romance and attraction were the same thing.

(By the way - they're not even close.)

I've befriended them ALL in hopes they'd see me as some guy who was different. A special kind of guy. Oh yeah - I was special alright, just not in an attractive way. Come to find out later I was as unique as the bullshit you hear from that NEW politician who is in it - just for us.

My plan wasn't actually a plan - to become friends with them because I wanted to be friends FIRST with any woman I'd make my girlfriend - which turned out to be just an excuse.

I had to reason something to make me feel better or to deflect the fact that I was a scared little shit of a guy who couldn't make a move on a girl.

The first kiss - yeah right!

Becoming friends with them first was my ONLY move - couldn't DO anything else but to play the waiting game and hope she would eventually fall for me or attack me sexually.

(Which, strangely enough actually DID happen a few times and man - was I an idiot. That's yet another story for another time. You know the drill. Sign up or stop back consistently because it's one you won't want to miss laughing and/or sighing at every sad detail.)

Let me be absolutely clear on the women attacking me as I played the waiting game - It NEVER  worked on the woman I actually DID want because... and everyone SHOULD know this by now:

Women do NOT sleep with their friends unless they're secretly and/or already deeply attracted to them.

I'll rephrase that - ATTRACTIVE women don't sleep with their friends unless they're secretly and/or already attracted to the guy - in all fairness or their women friends too.

(Have to cover the bisexually curious ones too. It's only fair.)

Think about it.

You know it.

Why would they sleep with a friend?

if YOU could fuck anyone - why would you just settle for lame dude friend like I was up to and including some kiss-ass nice guy who does things for you.

Back to it...

I was the guy they could count on at any time of the day or night.

When they asked - I came running offering anything and everything  that would solve their latest dramatic episode (usually over some other guy or their parents or how their treated so unfairly at work because they're just so beautiful and how everyone else is just jealous ugly fools - right?)

Did I do all those favors because I was a nice guy?

Maybe so - maybe not.

Does being afraid to say no because she might not like me back when she didn't like me in "that" way anyways, make me nice?

Does (at the time) being afraid of confrontation make me nice or is it just a lack of balls and conviction with the fear of getting my ass kicked which had me choose the latter?

Does not knowing what ELSE to do or how to attract a woman, make a move on her, get her to do things to me, allow me to do things to her, convince her to be my girlfriend and I her loving boyfriend - does NOT knowing all that and more make me nice or was it a lack of any other option that pushed me in that direction?

Meaning - growing up, if I could've been with any girl I wanted - if I had less fears - knew things I know now - would I still be considered a NICE guy, would I have turned out the same?

Tough to say and I'll never know so I'm concluding that niceness is often a choice because of a lack of OTHER choices - while being just a genuinely GOOD person is something which is inherently built from our character.

I did those things for ONE reason and one reason only - I equated it to finding or getting a girlfriend, thinking THAT would solve my loneliness BUT the truth was... sex. I wanted sex.

I wanted to experience being inside, around, and kissing every part of a beautiful woman.

(I'm not bullshitting when I say beautiful - I did NONE of that stuff for any woman I didn't find extremely attractive.)

You figure when you have a girlfriend - the sex is going to come anyways, right? Most of the time at least.

I can say that is or was (maybe not declare emphatically as it being the absolutely truth or reason because in my mind) because I just don't know.

Assuming sex and the naked female body was always on my mind; even in my fantasies she'd fall madly in love with me and we'd end up having sex EVERY time.

(And of course I was ALWAYS the best she ever had. Go figure. Hey at least I had THAT part going for me in my dreams.)

Hard to say what it really was but I have my best guess, it wasn't about love.

That was something I convinced myself of to make me FEEL like it was different for me and how my sexual urges were merely an extrapolation of my desperate need to find a girlfriend.

Maybe after all this - I WAS USING the girlfriend angle or how I'd make the perfect boyfriend (which back then I guarantee based my long life experience now, I would've made a terrible boyfriend) ....

Anyways just MAYBE I WAS using the girlfriend thing for sex because I knew I'd get it that way.

Since I didn't understand or know how or was capable of going from meeting any woman I wanted to sex within a reasonable amount of time -  I figured going the girlfriend route WAS my only hope or way to solve my problem.

So you tell me - do NICE guys use women for sex?

Seems to me every ounce of my being was ALL about getting laid and I just might've used the "girlfriend" - want to respect women - want to make them feel special - do nice things - kiss their ass - befriend them - how I'm BETTER than THAT guy - whatever...

Isn't that trickery?

How is that any different from some scumbag who plays women?

Okay - fine. It IS different. THEY (my past woman friends) got something out of the deal, that's for sure. More than I ever got or wanted with the exception of some stripper who paid my bills for a while. Yeah - lucky me!

I'm not making a total judgement call just yet but nice guys are definitely manipulative in many weird but truthful ways.

The major difference being the nice guy ways of manipulating women just doesn't work!!!

No nice guy ever tells his buddy over a beer how he "NICED" this chic so hard last night - his dick hurts real bad and he's never going to call her back.

The nice guy doesn't fool anyone.

At least I wasn't successful at it.

If you've found a way or have "niced" a woman into bed I want to hear the whole story below BUT I don't want to hear it UNLESS you were actually ATTRACTED to her.

In any case if you did play the nice guy role and she fell for it - guess what - that does NOT make you a nice guy, does it? Making it a moot point.

You know I did have a topic today... at least I did when I started... maybe.

It certainly wasn't to accuse nice guys of being manipulative. Accusing myself is one thing - to every one else - that's for them to decide and not me. I merely gave some factual information about me and the stupid shit I did to NOT get laid and it worked almost every time too. I rarely if ever GOT any.

Guess the point today is to let some of it out and let the rest out slowly and see who stops by to read and respond to it.

In the process of convincing myself to go one way or another - I have concluded that it's true - nice guys can and do USE women for sex.

Have I convinced you or not?

Let me know below.

In the meantime...

IF you are a nice guy who is either as bad or worse with women than I was, which was quite pathetic, then you'll want to stop back and read some more of my sad but hurt-fully true stories as they leak out.

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Alright... the TRUTH:

I want to give you a real reason to stop coming by here and listening to my stories of old because let's face it - once it all starts working for you, the chances of you coming back are quite slim unless it's to tell me how it (and me) changed your life.

One (meaning me) can dream you know.

If you seriously interested in reading it and BETTERING your chance at successfully attracted lots of women - mind you it's NOT so you can use it and get away with it unlike the nice guy above - but because you'll probably find and meet a few women who only use YOU for sex.

(Yeah that's happened to me but at least I knew it and rarely agreed to it and it's not all that bad if you know what I mean.)

Now it's your turn... I'll get you started:

  • Do you think nice guys are manipulative?
  • Have you tried every NOT trick in the book? Did they work for you?
  • Do think believe nice guys DO use women for sex making them no better than some of those "other" guys?

Whatever is on your mind - that's what the comment box below is for but let's PLEASE keep it on topic.

I'm not opening a bitch fest here about women!

After all I think I'm a nice guy and nice guys don't do that shit.

Sorry they don't air out their grievances about women publicly. Privately, well that's an entirely different thing, isn't it?

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About the Expert: Peter White – Dating and Attraction Expert. Creator of DiaLteG™. (dial – teg) Thanks for stopping by and giving me the opportunity to teach you a little something about women.

Discuss & develop your skills in dating and attracting women:

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The article is posted in these Categories: Nice Guy Stories – From Sad, Lonely, Pathetic to An Attractive Man

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