If women find you predictable and you’re not sure how to change their minds or see you in a more attractive light…
Before I show you how, please take the next few seconds to read one of the most famous quotes ever written in attraction:
WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO THE SAME OLD SAME OLD, BORING, PREDICTABLE CONVERSATION.
Attraction happens when there is energy, spice, humor, mystery…
COCKY AND FUNNY… and saucy.
So if you want to create ATTRACTION instead of BOREDOM, you’re going to have to learn a new way.
David DeAngelo – How To Act With A Woman On The First Date – What and How to Say It
The first time I read that quote you want to know what really went on in my mind?
“Great!!! I thought there was a trick to this whole attraction thing. You mean NOW I have to be interesting. If I was at all “likable” and less “predictable” I wouldn’t have needed your freaking book in the first place!”
Despite all my failures to be interesting no woman ever said,
“I’m sorry. You’re just way too boring.” or
“I’d love to go out with you but… you’re just a little too predictable for me.”
And I always believed I could live a more interesting life if I was sleeping with the “hotties” in the first place.
( A prophecy which has come true but some of that drama is just not that interesting to me. 🙂 )
Up until that point I was living by David’s every word…
Maybe I was a little tired.
Maybe I didn’t quite understand what he was getting at .
Perhaps I only noticed the job ( get interesting ) and not the more important information…
Boring and predictable conversations.
What I’ve found out is that most women will never assume or even care that you’re not living some extravagant exciting lifestyle if your conversations are exciting and can energize her. Thus creating attraction.
It just so happens when women are looking for a relationship they actually want a guy who is more likely to be there for her. That means having a routine. Maybe a consistent work schedule. It means living a fairly predictable lifestyle.
Yes it’s also true that women DO find themselves attracted to men who are a little illusive.
They like the challenge.
They love the mystery.
They enjoy the excitement and the anxious feelings rushing through their bodies.
But “Predictability” in both those cases simply means consistency in who you are or she WANTS the same guy to show up every time.
Now if you drop everything you’re doing whenever (she) wants something, calls, or texts, or in any way demonstrate you’re not living your life, that’s one kind of “predictable” you should avoid entirely.
If women find you boring it may not be you’re being predictable, it’s more than likely your conversations with her need to have all those things David mentioned… ( energy, spice, humor, mystery……COCKY AND FUNNY…. and saucy. )
You’ll easily bore her if your questions and answers do little to engage her deepest emotions.
Within reason of course, you don’t want to become Mister Serious.
Exciting guys who “appear” less predictable in the good sense flirt with her, they’re a little funny, just a bit cocky, and they ALWAYS engage her emotional side.
In your everyday conversations with women avoid questions which can be answered with a simple “yes” or a “no.” and remember it’s about how something makes her feel a certain way and why it affects her emotionally.
Pun not intended but if you can get her a little anxious and bring out that little happy lump in her throat by talking alone – not many women will ever call you predictable. ( In a bad way that is. )
It’s not as simple as it sounds but if you read these clever posts I pulled together they will help. Follow them the best you can and you WILL be amazed how well this stuff actually works.
You WILL change the direction and the whole “feel” of the conversation.
- Conversation Topics That Keep Her Attention, Charm Her and Attract Her
- How to Avoid Awkward Silences with Women – Conversation Techniques
- How to Have Better Conversations with Women
- The Six Deadliest Conversation Mistakes You Make With Women
- How to Talk to Women: Dating Conversation Topics
- Create Instant Attraction So She Calls You First, How To Talk to Women
Another important piece of talking to women involves how you answer her questions.
Don’t go for the obvious and don’t allow her to ASK YOU boring questions either.
Remember this rule when you’re talking to women and you’ll notice an immediate change in how you communicate your “less predictable self”,
If you give her exactly what she asks for you WILL NOT create tension and fun.
Make her work a little to find out who you are.
Allow her to experience the challenge of getting to know you.
I know how all this may sound trivial.
You might have heard it before, tried it, and it didn’t work for you.
Maybe you made more women friends than bed partners and girlfriends so you gave up trying.
But let’s not get stuck on thinking something does not work because you couldn’t make it work for you.
If I did that I’d still playing “one on one” with myself – and I’m not! That I guarantee.
The biggest obstacle I’ve found men have in learning to attract women through conversations alone is they get stuck in their head.
They try to logically dictate their next move, sentence, or question.
And if you do that with any woman – no lie – you’re going to struggle with the process above.
This advice will become trivial and you WILL become just her friend.
Believe me when I tell you that “before my shift” I could talk for hours with any woman on the planet and none of it got me any closer to an intimate relationship.
That was because I assumed certain logic which proved to be false because as David always say… women are NOT logical…
If I say this she will do this.
If I ask the right question I’ll turn her on.
If I talk about this subject I can become the subject of her desires.
And it was these “logical” connections which will kill attraction faster than just grunting across a dinner table which will actually work better because at least she’ll get angry with you.
So the process is not really learning how to talk with her the right way. Yes we can learn tips to help us out but really they’re just blueprints and examples. Something our “logical” mind can grasp and understand.
The process must be about learning how to communicate with any woman on a deeper level.
And if you can do that you’ll suddenly find yourself meeting more and more women who will never see you as being too predictable or too boring.
This is what I was taught in almost the exact words.
This is what I’ve practiced which has worked so well for me.
And yes, it was difficult at first so if it doesn’t come to you easily just keep applying the principles.
You’re not trying to “trick” a woman into wanting you because you won’t give her a straight answer.
That’s you getting stuck in your own head.
That’s you trying to get something for it.
Enjoy the moment…
Do it because you like to see that fake pouty look on her face.
Do it because it’s fun to tease her a little and even more enjoyable to watch he become somewhat frustrated.
Do it because when those moments settle you get to see her real smile.
Do it because you’ll engage her emotional side and have her wanting to playfully fight you back.
Do it because you’re both having fun with it.
Those are the real results.