Do you know what I love doing? Better yet, do you know what YOU love to do?
Wouldn’t it be great if we could attract people with our passions and desires?
Well I think it’s possible so when you reach the end of this post, you’ll know how to increase your energy of attraction too by doing what you love.
Our passions and desires often get pushed aside way too much. I suppose it’s understandable since they most likely rank low in our survival guide.
Our basic needs get first choice of our precious time.
But we’re not inanimate objects.
We’re living human beings and without passion and desires what fun is life or having the ability to think and enjoy the process of learning.
So why do so many of us disregard our real passions as being unimportant to our survival?
I wish I knew the real answer but based on my own experiences they were fear of failure, low self-esteem or not feeling I deserve to feel good, and ridicule from my peers or family.
A quick definition of what we need to survive would be, “We can not live effectively without it.”
Now imagine being passionless.
I’m not saying we do not have time for them. I’m saying we were born without them.
Could you survive with the mind you have without it. I know I certainly would not be very happy. I would feel like I was missing something very important in my life.
Now imagine yourself with no desire.
You want nothing because nothing makes you feel good. Nothing makes you feel better than you did.
Well again I know without desires in my life I would consider myself numb and unresponsive to what the world has to offer.
A feeling well beyond apathy.
If you desire something it’s most likely because it makes you feel good when you get it. Some desire Ice cream. Some love Chocolate. Some love to go hiking. And yes, some people even like to have incredible sex. ( Who would’ve thought huh? )
I’ve come to the conclusion I can not survive “affectively” without my passions and my desires. I say “affectively” because sure, I could perform daily tasks and live out some kind of existence but my affect on the world would be minimal at best.
In other words an automaton generally only affects minimally because of its limited abilities to inspire and motivate.
- Our passions inspire us.
- Our desires motivate us.
And without inspiration and motivation where would love be.
What would we absolutely love doing?
And yes, who would we absolutely love doing?
My passions are important to me. They always have been. When I was growing up everyone said I was so creative and had a wonderful imagination but I don’t necessarily agree with them.
I just always followed my passions and I made sure they were a big part of my survival.
My desires rarely took a back seat because of the excuses I listed above which were fear, deserving, and ridicule.
*Obviously taken the extreme your desires can drastically affect your health.
I’m not advocating giving up your health for your passion.
I’m saying put it as equally important and you will affect more deeply the people in your life. Attractive people do just that.
They attract others and affect their emotions in a positive way. Remember above, we desire something because it makes us feel better…one reason we desire to be with attractive people is because they make us feel good.
I will ask you again but this time take a few moments to write them down. Every last one of them.
What do you LOVE to do?
I will write mine for you in no particular order:
Dance. Cook. Play musical instruments. Have sex. Write. Talk to random people. Workout. Golf.
What are your passions and desire?
Again here are some of mine:
Living. Being happy. Sharing with others. Meeting new people. Helping men to succeed. Being free to travel.
Based on what I just wrote the passion I feel towards living inspires me to talk to random people.
My desire to share with others motivates me to write.
Now the big questions…
How do we use this information to increase how attractive we are? How do we follow our hearts and desire to increase our attraction?
1. Find something you have avoided doing because you fear failing at it and go do it. Start off small and simple.
Doing this makes you more attractive because:
The more fears you have the more timid you’ll act.
Each time you overcome a small fear you gain natural self-confidence.
Your body language responds by being more free.
You become more approachable.
You can approach more strangers.
Fears will limit how your body acts during stressful times.
I was afraid women would not be attracted to my short but athletic body. ( In other words…skinny…Haha!) So I found a woman friend who was into me and stripped in a public place for her birthday. I overcame two fears that day.
2. You deserve to feel good no matter how many mistakes you’ve made.
Take responsibility for your actions, old and new.
Suffer the consequences and put it away.
Don’t leave tons of loose ends of failed relationships and rid that list of “Should Haves” and “Could Haves” once and for all.
What you feel you deserve and your self-worth are connected.
When you believe you deserve a better life or better relationships and you set goals to achieve them, you are giving importance to your own existence.
With this importance comes high status and higher value. Which as you may have guessed by now makes you more attractive.
I never felt I was good-looking enough to be with a beautiful women. I blamed every failed attempt on my looks, wealth, status, or height.
I tied up the loose ends with solid inner game work and confidence building techniques.
3. Being ridiculed is an unfortunate part of life.
Others will ridicule you out of jealous and their own feeling or low self-esteem.
If you impress upon another your desires you’re likely to impress upon their feelings of imperfection.
If you let it affect you negatively your letting someone else control something only you have access to…your mind.
Always remember that.
Everyone agrees not caring what people think of you is one way of getting more people to like you. ( Indifference )
I know myself when I’m around someone who may not care much about my personal opinion of them makes me more free and easy to be myself. It works both ways.
No pressure to please and the burden associated that it imparts on another and they will enjoy being around you… dare I say… yep… being more attractive means others will enjoy being around you.
My brother and his friends use to ridicule me all the time. I found out years later it was because he was jealous of me. And I was his little brother that couldn’t get laid to save his life and he had every woman he wanted.
And HE was jealous of me.
Because I did what he couldn’t… followed my dreams and desires despite failure after failure. I believe he suffered a huge fear of failure and that strength in my made him jealous.
4. Affect more men or women by being a more affectionate person.
Hey now I’m not saying to go cuddle with an old friend but you could give more hugs for those really close friends.
Take the time to break down the barriers our bodies create around us which is called our personal space.
You would be surprised when this is done the right way others will feel more connected to you.
When you love someone you are naturally more affectionate. It’s sharing a closeness.
You’re showing you trust each other enough to go within someone else’s barrier around their body.
Without enjoying your passions and desires it’s really hard to get close to people.
It’s also really hard to be trusted because unfortunately cold heartless people are often associated with being distant and afraid of breaking barriers.
“He was the quiet guy who lived next door.” … Yep.
When I became a teenager I became even more shy and timid. I lost the ability to be affectionate with my Mother. Probably due to puberty. But since I did not overcome this ‘social disability’ it drastically affected my ability to be trusted.
Of course I was respected and gained trust in social settings, when it came to being intimate with a woman, she never trusted me enough to build the attraction.
Hence the instant friend zone.
Now that I’ve explained how we can attract more with these four simple ways, try it yourself.
Come up with a short list of your passions, desires, and what you love doing, and write down your fears or why you refuse to follow them.
I believe you’ll begin to quickly see how you can use what you love doing to to increase your attraction.