Written by Carlos Xuma.
I happened to watch the Jude Law movie "Alfie" the other night.
While I can't recommend it based on its merits as a movie (especially if you have as little time as I do), I found the message in it to be very disturbing and worth noting.
Basically, the film is about a young British guy (good looking, of course) who is a limo driver in New York City. He's a ladies man, and pulls action all the time.
Now, on the surface, this seems like the standard cautionary tale about not using people and thinking of other people's feelings.
After all, Alfie is just using these poor women and being a real jerk.
But wait a minute here... IS he?
He actually is very straightforward about his intentions from the start. He explains that he doesn't want to stick with one woman.
He doesn't mistreat any of his ladies, and they all enjoy his company.
And while these women all act hurt from time to time about the fact that Alfie isn't likely to settle down with any of them, they all knew the deal from the beginning.
The danger that this movie presents is that it portrays these women as helpless victims, women who we are supposed to believe were tricked into Alfie's bed under false pretenses.
The one that stands out is his friend's girlfriend who actually comes on to HIM and they get jiggy on the pool table at her bar.
Now, some bad things happen because of this get-together, but again, she knew what she was doing - and WANTED to do it.
Here's the dangerous and incorrect message that the movie tries to get you to believe:
"Women are helpless creatures who can't make their own decisions, and the man that seduces them is a BAD person."
Oh, and one more related message is underneath that one:
And one more that's even more disturbing:
"Women aren't responsible for their decisions."
This is the dangerous message that the media is trying to perpetuate on you. It's dangerous for men and women.
And, quite honestly, it's more insulting to women if you look at it in the right light.
Every one of the women in that movie knew what she was doing.
It's not the man's responsibility to sit her down and have her sign a disclosure before she sleeps with him so that she acknowledges the reality of what she's getting into.
The real truth is that women often put on romantic blinders when dealing with men. (Men even do this.)
We see and believe what we WANT to so that we can DO what we want to.
Unless you have a gun held to your head, you CHOOSE to do everything that you do.
No one is pulling your strings.
Unless you are outright lying and being deceitful with a person, they are making the choices that they WANT to make.
Don't believe this garbage that men are the cads and womanizers.
Women - and men - everywhere need more guys like Alfie to demonstrate the real Alpha Man traits that are sorely lacking in our world today.
Sometimes all a woman wants is a guy she can have a good time with, no matter how long it lasts.
And if you asked her how she felt about most of the guys she's had her "fun" with, she'd probably tell you she'd gladly do it all over again, knowing exactly how it would have to end.
He's the author of many books and programs which are designed to help ANY man succeed and with with women.
Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, technology and engineering, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.
Yes, you can call him a bit of a Renaissance Man.
Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles.
Here's his homepage:
Here's a list of all his articles posted at DiaLteG TM: