Written by Carlos Xuma.
One question I'm asked quite a bit is how to find dating advice for men that is both practical and useful. There's a lot of stuff out there, and if you're not careful, you could get pulled into a bad philosophy.
In fact, let's talk about that for a moment.
What is your philosophy toward dating and dating advice?
For men that are out there in the singles world today, I find that very few are looking to be a "pickup artist," and most are looking for a single, high-quality partner.
Most guys are not out to just "get laid fast."
They want to meet an attractive woman with the qualities that they feel they can stick with.
Dating advice for men tends to fall into one of these two camps:
Watch out for the following outrageous claims made on any of these men's dating advice sites:
Lazy Man's Method:
Yeah, everybody want's the EASIEST way to do something, but it's like the old "snake oil" remedies.
How successful have you ever been doing something the "lazy man's" way?
Not very, I'll bet.
And that's what you'll get with these. Lazy has never been a compliment, and it never should be, because the something-for-nothing mentality.
Yet again, this is a ridiculous claim intended to get your buying temperature jacked up.
Fast results are for the "fast food" mentality of guys out there.
REAL results take more than a few days, but not longer than a few weeks if you apply yourself.
She'll be Begging YOU for Sex:
The hard, cold truth, my brother, is that there is no dating advice for men that will get a woman to defy her basic NATURE.
A woman is a passive creature, and she wants YOU to initiate.
That's how she figures out if you're a man or a wuss. (Be careful when you hear something you WISH were true, but know probably isn't. They're preying on your fantasies.)
Since the beginning of time - or at least as far back as I can remember - men have always wanted a "magic bullet" for attracting women.
Of all the dating advice for men I've seen out there, NONE of it works like a magic spell or hypnosis.
Be honest with yourself:
Do you really want to resort to sleazy mind control to get a woman?
This is the fantasy stuff that bad porn movies use to appeal to your dreams.
A man's integrity is foremost, and you never have to sacrifice it to get laid.
You'll Never Have to Approach Women:
Again, the hard truth is that a woman will NOT just approach you, as much as you might wish it.
The only women who approach men will also want you to open up your wallet for the benefit of the experience.
Don't go there...
Here's a quick bite of dating advice I give all men: It's not hard to approach women - you just have to learn HOW.
The Author is a Centerfold or Model-Quality Woman:
I've seen a bunch of sites that plaster their page with airbrushed models in bikinis or skimpy underwear in the hopes to get you salivating (or more) for the thought of doing the nasty to her.
I've been in this field for over 15 years, and I can personally count the number of gorgeous women out there giving this advice on one hand.
This is another visual manipulation to get you interested.
So what should you look for in men's dating advice that will cue you that it is legit - the REAL deal?
The sites that tell you:
1. You can learn it, but it may require you to CHANGE some of your behaviors.
All success in life is due to getting rid of bad mental habits and adopting new ones, and then acting on them.
Obviously if you had the skills now, you'd be using them, so first you must learn.
2. You need to start with fixing your THINKING.
Again, if you think that learning a few clever opening pickup lines or sneaky techniques is going to make the difference in your love life, remember that women have EXCEPTIONAL B.S. detectors.
They can see through false confidence faster than a speeding train. They're able to leap tall piles of crap in a single bound for the door.
You can't fool a woman's instincts. Nor should you have to.
3. You not only need confidence to attract women, but you need a concrete plan for BUILDING IT.
In all my years, the one bit of truth I found was that women absolutely NEED confidence from men.
But the one thing that almost NONE of the other dating advisers out there can show you is HOW to get it, build it, and show it.
This is one of the reasons I focused so long and hard on creating programs that make a man confident and successful - not just with women, but with LIFE.
At some point you have probably figured out that women don't want men that just chase women; they want men who have an ambition and a PASSION in their world.
This has been, and probably always will be, the most universal ingredient for attraction from women.
To summarize, just remember that the dating advice for men that works is the stuff that explains how to build the right attitude and knowledge from the INSIDE out, not the other way around.
The coolest new threads won't do you ANY good if she can smell your insecurities or your hesitancy.
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Keeping A Girlfriend Is Not The Same As Seducing Her - Or Working “Pickup” On Her…
The fact is that the skills you need to “pickup” a woman or seduce her will not help you keep her as your girlfriend. The one thing most guys might not admit – but they long for – is that they actually want a girlfriend.
Afraid you're going to lose her, maybe she's losing interest in you, maybe you think some other guy is going to snatch her up, maybe you just want to train her to always and forever feel attracted to you.
He's the author of many books and programs which are designed to help ANY man succeed and with with women.
Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, technology and engineering, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.
Yes, you can call him a bit of a Renaissance Man.
Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles.
Here's his homepage:
Here's a list of all his articles posted at DiaLteG TM: