Written by Carlos Xuma.
The news media tends to recycle its stories. The reality is that anything that is put out there "on the wire" is rarely NEW news. It's picked up and repeated without any real investigation or verification.
I don't think the media is malicious or purposefully misleading (in most cases.) I just think they're lazy. They keep repeating the same things without really verifying any of it from someone other than Brad or Angelina.
And THIS is why so many guys are having so much trouble with women these days.
We've gotten lazy about verifying all this BAD information in the media and with our friends about what makes women attracted to men.
You're under the impression that women want a man who is nice. A man who treats her with respect.
Those things aren't WRONG, but they're really not right, either. Don't ever pay attention to what a woman says she wants.
Only pay attention to RESULTS.
Nobody verified what it is that really WORKS with women.
That's why a lot of these self-help authors you see on the shelves of the local bookstore are all in the business of telling you what to do to keep a woman, but confusing the hell out of you at the same time.
What they tell you is rational theory, not emotional reality.
You see, the common knowledge about men and women out there right now SUCKS.
No two ways about it. If you ask your guy friends out there what works and how to do it, they wouldn't have a CLUE.
Less than 10% of the male population is actually "good" with women.
(It's actually quite less than this, but I'm trying to be nice.)
Misinformation is everywhere. You can't turn your head without reading lies and hear-say in the papers and popular media.
Have you ever had a woman ask you "can we just be friends?"
Doesn't it just kill you?
It's like a train wreck in your chest when you hear those words. Another woman, another romance down the tubes. I can hear the toilet tank being filled up after the flush.
I remember a date where I was out with some friends. It was one of those awkward "double dates." We went out to sushi, and I was paired up with this cute gal named Ellen.
All through the "date" I was trying to get some interest going, not having a clue what to do. I went for a good-night hug (not even a peck on the cheek) at the end of the night, and she put her arms up between me and her and held me off as if I was Dracula going for the jugular.
Yeah, that was an ego dent right there.
And it gets better...
After everyone left for the night, I found out the other guy we were with, my friend who set us up, had just had a threesome with her and the other gal the night before.
WHAT THE ???
And I couldn't even get a HUG!
That's one of those moments that's forever burned in my brain as if it had been stamped with a cattle brand. I'll never forget it, because it was one of the defining moments of my life. I decided that no matter what, I was going to figure this thing out. Women were no longer going to elude me.
I was sick of the "nice guy" routine.
I could be nice until I dropped dead of a heart attack, but I wasn't going to get laid anytime soon.
I could cry about it not being "fair," but I don't care about that if it doesn't get me what I want.
So how do you know what REALLY works with women?
I'm about to give you the golden rule of attraction and pickup with women....
The most essential element of any pickup or romance between you and a woman is this one critical thing. Without it, you might get her number, but you won't get to see her in person again.
This is the single most important thing to remember and you've got to use it to your advantage.
Here it is:
You must get a woman emotionally involved in your interaction - and in YOU.
If you can, then YOU direct the outcome of the interaction.
It may sound deceptively simple, but it's one thing that most guys do NOT know how to do. The language of emotions is completely unknown to us, and we don't know how to understand it, much less use it to our advantage.
But I found out that it's not that tough once you understand what she's looking for.
There are mechanics to doing this without having to become a weepy, emotional tampon for her.
- A woman wants a man who will lead her. Who will protect her. But he won't PUSH her.
- He will be playful and confident. But he won't be a dick.
- He's interested in her, and isn't afraid to show it. But he's obviously independent and not clingy.
- He's got options.
- He knows how to drive up the tension in the interaction, and also how to relate to her on her level. He understands her.
- He GETS her.
When a woman finds a guy like this, she goes nuts, because he's a RARE find.
I get a ton of letters each week, and at least half of them are asking me what to do to fix this or that screw-up with a woman. They started out being a wuss, now they want to fix it and win this woman back.
And I have to keep giving the same heart-wrenching verdict - It's TOO LATE!
If you spent this obsessive negative mental energy on getting over her and doing things right the next time, you'd come out WAY ahead.
If you start out being a wimp with a woman, you have a long, cold, hard road ahead of you.
Most of the "chemistry" happens in the first 5 to 10 minutes of your interaction with her.
She's either going to be attracted to you or turn you into another "friend" depending on how you handle your first interaction.
Why isn't it that none of these women really sticks around to be your friend afterwards?
Are you ready to make this the year of your dreams?
Don't let another day slip away.
He's the author of many books and programs which are designed to help ANY man succeed and with with women.
Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, technology and engineering, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.
Yes, you can call him a bit of a Renaissance Man.
Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles.
Here's his homepage:
Here's a list of all his articles posted at DiaLteG TM: