The Biggest Mistake Guys Make Reading Body Language

Written by Carlos Xuma.

Reading Body Language - What You Must Know About Women and Body Language.

When I first started learning how to meet women and get them interested in me, one of the first things I wanted to learn was about reading body language. I'd heard of how you can "read" someone simply by watching how they sit, stand, or fold their arms.

It seemed logical, right?

That you could learn a technique to figure out what someone is thinking about you by reading the outside signals.

Have you ever been somewhere talking to a woman, and you're trying to figure out if she's into you by how she's sitting?

Or you're watching her for some sign of interest by watching her eyes and what she does with her hands...?

There's a fairly well-known statistic that only 7% of your meaning is communicated in your actual words.

93% of your meaning is in your tonality, body language, and other indicators.

So you do want to make sure that you understand this concept and use it to your advantage, or you could be missing out on signals that a woman is giving off when you're reading body language.

And the most important thing to know is that a big part of how she feels about you is how well you appear to understand and respond to her subtle body language signals.

If you "get it" she will be interested and attracted.

If you don't "get it" she will automatically lose attraction for you.

And studies have shown that this is done in about 7 seconds.


That's 7 whole seconds.

Pretty crazy, huh?

So reading body language is a powerful and necessary skill.

(It's something I cover in detail in my program - "Get a Girlfriend FAST.")

But here's something even more important that you have to do first - before you even start reading her body language...

If you just wait and watch for "signals" from a woman, you're missing a big opportunity.

You see, women want one thing more than anything from a man. And it's a very big thing. It fills her up and makes her feel pleasure more than anything else.

NO - it's not that! Get your mind out of the gutter. 🙂

It's this:


She wants a man who can take charge and confidently LEAD her to the place she wants to go.

This means that if you're too hung up on reading body language and watching for signals, you'll miss the real opportunity - which is to LEAD her with your own body language.

You see, if you're waiting for signals to appear, you're not creating the kind of initiative that makes a woman feel attracted to you. In fact, you're at risk of looking socially reactive.

That fancy little term just means that you're reacting to what people do instead of just doing what it is you're going to do. It ends up looking like you need permission to take action.

This doesn't inspire confidence in you from the woman's point of view.

It's like always wanting to be the defense in a football game. You can't score if you don't take control of the ball and run with it.

(Heheh... he said "score....")

There's another danger here, and it's one that I want you to be aware of:

You can't push a woman into feeling attraction for you.

If you've ever tried to "persuade" or convince a woman that she should feel something for you, you probably already know what I mean.

Have you ever had someone push you towards something that you could tell was more to serve their agenda than you?

You ever been in a store where you could sense that the staff wasn't really there to care about YOU as a person and what you need, but instead they seemed to just want to sell you something?

You were just customer #43,297.

And that didn't make you feel very special or unique.

That kind of attitude is one of those things we can just detect, like the smell of manure when you're driving by a farm. And it turns you off just as much.

So you know how this feels, and that should tell you a lot about how women feel when a man presses his interest on her - rather than trying to share some fun with her and show her how it would feel to get intimate with him.

Ultimately, that's all a woman cares about. How much fun will she feel with you when she's with you. She's got her radio tuned into:

WII FM - "What's In It For Me" radio...

It's not because of selfishness; it's just human nature.

You're like this, too. If we don't get something out of the contact with other people, we wouldn't associate with them. But if we get something from it, we're also giving something to them, and it creates a circuit.

This loop of energy we create with another person by socializing with them is what I call a "feedback loop."

(Oh, and these loops are TEN times as powerful when you're flirting with a woman...!)

So when you're reading her body language, you're actually only working half the loop with her. The other half is when you lead her with your own body language.

Make sure that you're not trying to "mirror" her movements or pace her too much, because this sends a subtle and subconscious message to her that SHE IS LEADING YOU.

And we know now that she doesn't want to feel this. She needs to feel like you are leading her.

So if you're reading body language to see if she's into you, I suggest that just by starting with initiative on your side, you can massively increase your success ratio. She will feel a more complete circuit and connection with you, which means she will feel more attracted to you.

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Carlos Xuma Profile PictureCarlos Xuma is a dating and attraction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor.

He's the author of many books and programs which are designed to help ANY man succeed and with with women.

Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, technology and engineering, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.

Yes, you can call him a bit of a Renaissance Man.

Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles.

Here's his homepage:

Click here for Carlos Xuma - Meet & Attract The Woman You Want!

Here's a list of all his articles posted at DiaLteG TM:

Carlos Xuma - An Alpha Male Who Wants To Help you Succeed and Win With Women

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