The Secret Dark Side Of Women – Sex, Cheating, Being Approached By Men

Written by Carlos Xuma.

This article might get me in some DEEP trouble... In fact, the last time I exposed something like this in my dating tips for guys, I got a LOT of hate mail from some women who didn't like that I was telling tales "out of school."

But the funny thing is that there were just as many women who wrote in and thanked me for exposing these secrets.

Because it's something they WANT men to know about.

And to help guys stop making a BIG mistake because of their misinformation.

I'm going to expose some deep dark secrets of women here that I want you to know about. This isn't theory or idle speculation.

It's the real deal. No hype.

Way back in 2001, when I first started giving dating tips for guys, I made it my priority to give guys the Truth about women and dating. Even if it meant that I was being "politically incorrect."

After all, it's that political "correctness" that stops guys from getting the REAL information out there about this topic.

Mostly because the reality of how our emotions work and how attraction is created is not something we like to think is out of our 'rational' control.

Well, you wanted to learn some juicy stuff about women, didn't you?

Let's get into it...

Essential Dating Tips for Guys: THE SECRET "DARK SIDE" OF WOMEN.

SECRET #1: Women LOVE sex!

Yes, I know you probably think that women aren't all that into doing the nasty with you, but that's a false assumption.

You see, we men believe that because we put it out there and pursue "it," and women only seem to protect "it," we are the ones that enjoy it more.

Not so, grasshopper.

If you've ever watched a woman in the throes of ecstasy, you'll notice that she gets everything stronger, longer, deeper, and ... well, MORE.

Sex ROCKS for women.

Honestly, I'm jealous of what women get from it.

Sorry, guys. When a woman gets that motor started, she's unbelievable.

Women have quite a bit more of their anatomy dedicated to sex, and not to mention that their pleasure is felt mostly through their brain circuits wired for just this activity. We guys only have a small tremor compared to their 7.9 earthquake on the Richter scale.

The key here is to realize that even though she wants "it" at least as much, she is also hard-wired to not just give it away.

One mistake on her part and she's got a 9-month body roommate that will take another 18 years of her life.

So women have evolved to be very careful about their choice in guys.

They simply have a better conscious control over their coupling than guys do, and we mistake that to mean that they are "frigid" or uninterested in physical pleasure.

SECRET #2:. Women are NOT angels & they are suffocating under the weight of this social expectation.

The common view in society is that girls are "sugar and spice" and everything nice, while boys are "snips and snails and puppy dog tails."

Get the feeling we got the short end of the stick on this one?

The social reality has always been that women protect their image and their sexuality as a means to keep their power over men.

What's going on behind the scenes is something quite different.

Women can be just as ruthless, mean, and vindictive as men.

I'm not going to get political on you here, but you do need to know that this image of women as pure and clean as the driven snow is something that many women tire of and long for escape from.

Next Halloween, take a look at the choices that women have in costumes. They're either really slutty, or really proper.

But which costumes do you see women enjoying wearing the most?

That's right...

The Naughty Girls.

The more you can show a woman that you are aware of this double-standard, that you know better, and you can liberate her from it, the happier she will be.

SECRET #3: Women cheat. A LOT.

This is one that most women are going to be writing in (I know I've got some spies on my mailing list) and screaming at me about.

But the reality is that even though you hear about men being the "dogs," and that we will just jump in bed with a hot woman at the first opportunity...

The reality is that women have all that opportunity available to them all the time. They don't have to work at it.

If a woman wants to get a little piece of "strange" for herself, it's not hard.

And even though women have the social stigma of being viewed as a "slut," they know that they are sexual creatures, and they have needs just like guys do.

And if that guy isn't doing it for her, she WILL get her satisfaction somewhere.

You'll hear a lot of rationalization about why she did it, and she might even believe some of the stuff she tells herself, but she's just as vulnerable to her desires as we are.

The fact is that women are just much better at keeping secrets than men are.

After all, it can be an ego boost to brag with the guys, but women want to maintain that "angelic" image.

Now, I'm not coming down on women here. In the grand scheme of things, I don't believe that men are any more or less good than women are.

It's important that you don't get a bunch of smoke blown around about what the TRUTH is on this, too.

SECRET #4: Women want you to approach them.

This one is the one that kicks my butt every time. You see, most guys don't believe this, and a lot of guys don't WANT to believe it.

First of all, I have conducted surveys of women, as well as spoken to women in just about every situation imaginable, and there is a big misunderstanding here about what women want.

This is what guys assume:

"If I see an attractive woman when I'm out during the day, I want to meet her. But I'm pretty sure she's busy, and I'll just be a bother to her. She's obviously doing stuff and in a hurry. I don't want to annoy her."

The problem here comes when we make the assumption without VALIDATING it.

We never check in to see if it's real.

Most guys will not approach because of this belief.

And the one guy in a thousand that DOES approach her goes in with this belief in his head, and his approach is weak and half-hearted. He doesn't carry himself with any confidence.

Ask yourself:

Do you believe that women are bothered when men approach and talk to them?

Before you do anything else, I want you to read this.

I asked a very attractive Asian girl what her experience with guys approaching her was:

I asked:

How frequently do guys approach you?

She said: "This week I'd say 0 guys approached. They showed interest but ... weren't able to turn it into a conversation..."

I asked:

How many wanted to approach but didn't?

She said: "Percentage-wise, I'd say 95%."


Interesting, huh?

Now, I know that a lot of guys will hear that and say, "Well that's just ONE woman. Most women don't feel that way."



This is true for every woman I've ever talked to.

Here are the facts from a recent survey:

  • 41% of the women I asked said that they are only annoyed at guys when they're boorish and crude...
  • 36% said they are almost always flattered by the approach...
  • 22% said they were excited and happy to meet someone new.
  • And - get this - 0% (ZERO!) said that they are annoyed all the time when guys approach them.

I also asked them:

If you do go to bars, would you go to a bar to meet guys? Or something else?

  • 35% said they went to have fun, but there was a possibility to meet someone...
  • 65% said they don't really go to bars to meet men. They go to socialize and chill.
  • And - get this - 0% said they go to bars to meet men.

I personally think that every woman goes to bars with that hope in the back of her head that she will meet a guy, but it's not the primary reason she goes.

Women want men to approach them - and especially during the day - because most of the quality women don't go to bars to "pickup" guys.

In fact, here are some of the things women have told me when I asked them,

"What would you say to guys who are out there and see a woman they want to talk to?"

  • "Just do it - be a man - take the risk..."
  • "Suck it up and go for it!"
  • "Just be yourself; don't worry about the perfect pick-up line."
  • "Do it the worst thing that can happen is she said no But, what if she is interested..."
  • "PLEASE approach me because most of the time I am assuming that if you do not initiate a conversation, you are not available..."
  • "Go for it, there's nothing to lose..."

That's a pretty big kick in the butt to get going and do it, isn't it?

But I have to admit, there's not a lot of helpful advice in their words.

"Just do it" is a great slogan for sneakers, but if you could just "do it," you would be doing it, right?

Well, a while back I sat down with some friends of mine that are dating advisers and "gurus," and I recorded all my strategies for approaching women in any situation.

AND I completely broke down and explained my method for getting past Approach Anxiety.

That sick-to-your-stomach sensation of fear and nerves that hits you when you see a woman you want to go talk to... but you can't...

... but you REALLY want to...

... and you still can't...

... but you really want to get to meet her, and you know you HAVE to...

... and you STILL can't do it.

It's like a bouncer is holding your arms and legs and every time you start to move towards her, you freeze up and become paralyzed.

And the worst part about it?

You know that YOU are doing this to yourself.

It's time to get rid of this sensation once and for all.

Kill your approach anxiety, and learn the specific things to say and DO to approach women whenever and wherever you can...

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Carlos Xuma Profile PictureCarlos Xuma is a dating and attraction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor.

He's the author of many books and programs which are designed to help ANY man succeed and with with women.

Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, technology and engineering, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.

Yes, you can call him a bit of a Renaissance Man.

Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles.

Here's his homepage:

Click here for Carlos Xuma - Meet & Attract The Woman You Want!

Here's a list of all his articles posted at DiaLteG TM:

Carlos Xuma - An Alpha Male Who Wants To Help you Succeed and Win With Women

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