Written by Carlos Xuma.
I was thinking the other day about men's perceptions about women, and how we "figured out" what it is they're looking for. I wondered how men could have been so misled regarding this subject, and just where did it come from?
Well, think about it. There are only a few places you could have gotten this information:
LISTENING TO GUYS
Well, as guys, we like advice. We LOVE to give it, even when we don't know what the HELL we're talking about. Really.
I remember being a kid and trying to shoot the crap with my friends about women. All guys have an inherent need to be a know-it-all, and that gets in our way of actually learning.
Every guy has a story and seems to "know it" when it comes to women, don't they?
I was in a car with a friend at Lake Tahoe a couple weeks back, and when he found out what I do for men with the ebooks and audio information he was fascinated.
It wasn't as if he was jumping up and down (guys don't react that way - we're very coy about letting another guy know we're excited about something.)
But he was interested, because he brought the topic up several times over the next several days.
What made him different was that he asked questions and listened to my advice.
He's probably going to go on to ROCK a lot of women's little worlds.
Guys and gals are FASCINATED by knowledge of the sexual game. It's treated as if it is some kind of magic by those who understand it.
I have noticed that guys will tend to look to other guys for advice, or listen in on other conversations, and then use that information to shore up our own understanding. We assume that all the other guys were born with this knowledge.
But the truth is that most guys' knowledge of women is very faulty, because it's not based on reality. It's based on hit-or-miss hand-me-down wisdom that is not usually very reliable.
ONLY listen to people who are DOING what you want to do.
LISTENING TO WOMEN
I think I've coached you guys enough on this one, but it's probably one of the tops in terms of where guys go after listening to other guys for their information.
While you can get some good information on the basics from women (what clothes they like, etc.), for the most part, they DON'T know what REALLY moves them. (Or won't admit it.)
Listen to what a woman says, but train your ear to pick out the BS when you hear it. Because she's most likely only going to give you her "Cinderella" answer. (Prince Charming illusion.)
WATCHING OTHER GUYS
One of the two best ways you can learn, but only if you watch guys who are SUCCESSFUL with women. Most guys watch other turkeys just so they can feel better about not being as bad as they are.
A good friend once said,
"If you want to learn something, go to the guy DOING it for lessons. If you want to get rich, go find a guy with a big pile of money. Not the broke stockbroker showing you his 'hot picks.'"
Absolutely, brother. Right on.
Go get yourself a TOP-NOTCH wingman that's good at this stuff, get him to show you what he does, and watch your ability quadruple in just a few nights. (I mean it.)
That is, if you can put aside your ego and apprentice yourself.
The best way you can possibly learn is to WATCH WOMEN when they're being brought around to attraction for a man. You'll know it when you see them reacting positively to what a guy does to them.
RESULTS speak here.
If you watch a woman and she is NOT moved to interest for a guy, DON'T do what he did. (Or learn how to do it the CORRECT way.)
If you see a guy give flowers and buy dinner for a woman and not get SQUAT for his trouble, then you might want to reconsider your strategy. I did.
If you really watch women and REALLY watch their reactions, and learn how to interpret what's going on in her head, too, you'll begin to understand the REAL deal when it comes to women, seduction, and dating.
The only woman that will stay with you over the long run is one that CANNOT stand the thought of being without you just enough to stick around.
OR ... she just doesn't have any better choices.
She has to want you more than she wants to be on the market again.
Learn how to observe and PAY ATTENTION.
Develop your fine sense of interpretation, and learn to watch for the right signals.
He's the author of many books and programs which are designed to help ANY man succeed and with with women.
Carlos brings to the table a variety of life experiences, including a background in relationship skills, life-coaching, motivational psychology, sales, management, Martial Arts, teaching and instruction, technology and engineering, Eastern philosophy, the psychology of achievement, and music.
Yes, you can call him a bit of a Renaissance Man.
Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles.
Here's his homepage:
Here's a list of all his articles posted at DiaLteG TM: