Written by David DeAngelo, creator of Double Your Dating and a full catalog dedicated to dating, attraction, and relationships.
Unless you're Quasimodo or something, if you're STILL not getting dates with great women after all this time, it's really time to face it:
It can *ONLY* be because of how you feel on the INSIDE.
Your NERVOUSNESS, FEARS, and INSECURITIES cause you to make mistakes with women that make them think you're a total dork... or WORSE -- make you to do nothing at all to get dates in the first place.
If this sounds painfully familiar, let me GUARANTEE YOU THIS:
There's 1 SIMPLE THING that *ANY* guy can do (sorry Quasimodo...) to start feeling CONFIDENT, COOL, and IN-CONTROL around amazing women... and start getting INSTANT, MIND-BLOWING RESULTS because of it.
I just finished digging through tons of email, and I found a question that could have a MAJOR IMPACT on *your* long-term dating success.
Have a look at the question and my answer, then let me know what you think:
Thank you for what you do. Because of you I don't even have to ask girls for their numbers anymore.
I have one question though. This girl I like, we went bowling the other week (I paid, I know I wasn't suppose to but I told her she owed me a few beers to pay me back).
Well the night went great and I did some of my best C&F stuff on her and she was giving it back laughing and smiling the whole time.
Now I really like this girl and I don't want to put the cart before the horse, but I'd like to make something out of this. I would like some advice from the Big D on how to follow up on this one.
Well DC, the Big D hears you, and your wish is my command...
When it comes to following up on a first date, there's an old saying that holds the whole key...
It sound like something Oprah might have said back in 1998, but stay with me on this...
Here's how it goes:
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it's yours forever -- or for at least as long as YOU want to have it around.
Okay, I added that last part myself.
But here's the point...
As simple as it sounds, this moldy-oldie couldn't be more true than when it comes to successfully taking things to the "next level after a first date...
The point is, as illogical as it sounds, you have to gently, subtly, skillfully push a woman *away* if you want to make her feel "drawn" to come back for more.
This principle is also known as THE HOLY GRAIL around here... the KEY TO IT ALL... the ONLY thing that MATTERS when it comes to success with women and dating...
... and that's creating irresistible feelings of ATTRACTION.
In other words -- NO woman starts to feel attraction for a man who comes across as needy... overeager... a pushover... worst of all, a total WussBag.
The kind of man that women DO feel irresistible attraction for are guys who are confident... in- control... mysterious... a challenge.
Also known around these parts as COOL.
That in mind... here are my 4 GOLDEN RULES for keeping things going after the first date (bowling or otherwise...) and keeping those first feelings of ATTRACTION building in a woman:
RULE #1: FORGET ABOUT HER
Wait... sounds crazy, right?
Things just went great on a first date, and now I'm telling you to forget about her?
Well, not really.
Here's what I'm saying:
Now more than ever, it's time for you to GET BUSY and stay that way with other things in your OWN life.
Hang with your buddies. Start reading a new book. Even better, go out on more first dates with OTHER women.
This is the best way, bar none, to amp-up any feelings of attraction a woman may have for you after the first date.
And listen, I totally get it...
It's probably your first impulse, DC, to make yourself feel more secure by trying to keep this girl safely in sight after bowling night... seeing her every day... constantly pinging her and calling her.
Well, FORGET IT.
And forget HER, at least for the moment.
This is critical:
For the next few weeks, make sure that you do NOT see her more than once or twice a week.
And... if you MUST give in to your "Inner Wuss" and call her the next day... always remember:
RULE #2: BE COOL ON THE PHONE
Here's how you do it:
Above all -- make sure you don't come across as overly eager.
You told me you already did some of your best Cocky & Funny stuff while you were knocking down pins -- so now's the time to pull back a bit on the humor so it doesn't become "too much."
Don't lay on the Cocky & Funny too strong over the phone, where she has no visual cues, and it's far too easy to come across as a jerk.
Make sure to avoid another common "wussy" follow-up phone call mistake... trying to set up another date because you feel so sure she'll never want to see you again if you don't strike while the iron is hot.
Here's what I suggest:
Call her up and say, "Hey, what's up
?" Then... bring up about something she said to you last night... something *SPECIFIC* that makes it clear you were listening and interested in her.
You WERE listening and interested in her, weren't you, DC?
Then make a little small talk.
Then hang up.
That's right... you heard me.
**WITHOUT** asking her to go out again.
The goal here is to keep her thinking about you... which is the #1 most powerful way to keep attraction building in her.
By the way...
If you'd like to learn a bazillion OTHER guaranteed ways to keep a woman practically OBSESSING about you after you first meet her, check out this link.
When you click it, it'll blow your mind how EASY it is to keep a woman thinking about you after you've just met her...
... to the point of making HER do all the hard work of chasing YOU!
But okay... for now, onto my third Golden Rule for following up on a first date:
RULE #3: DON'T PING HER
It's a fact of modern life -- nowadays people find it much more easy and "safe" to email and text than to call.
Makes perfect sense... but it's also FAR too easy to let your "wussy" tendencies to blow up in your face here...
Pinging her sends all the wrong signals after a great first date:
- It tells her that you're insecure and possessive
- It tells her that you lack the "cojones" to call her and talk to her live. (I know... I told you not to call her either, and that still stands.)
- It tells her that you don't have a life
Which leads us directly to:
RULE #4: GET A LIFE!
See a theme developing here?
As I already said a couple times above, it's the WHOLE BALLGAME when it comes to following up on a great first date... and by the way, when it comes to SUCCEEDING WITH WOMEN IN GENERAL...
That's why I gave it its own Rule.
If you have a problem with that, feel free to contact your local Golden Rules Committee...
But seriously, what I'm trying to say here is this:
Until you've made the decision that you really like a particular woman, it's critical that you don't focus too much energy on her.
Focus too much energy and time on a woman that you've just spent one date with, and it will:
- Creep them out...
- Then make them start avoiding you...
- Then make them want nothing to do with you.
If these stages of post-first-date failure sound familiar to YOU, then that's a HUGE red flag...
REVIEW RULES #1, #2, and #3 ABOVE RIGHT NOW.
And remember... they say a watched pot never boils... so keep heating up water in those OTHER pots!
If you're not currently seeing OTHER women, DC, then start getting numbers and dates.
Meanwhile, here's my last suggestion...
Also use this time to discover what you want in life for YOURSELF (that is, besides lots of dates with great women).
Begin to explore the goals, passions and pursuits that make YOU feel fulfilled and excited in life.
Because... before you know what these things are... it's VERY difficult to come across as the kind of confident, passionate, exciting guy that can make a women feel ATTRACTION.
And listen, this doesn't mean you have to "master" all of your passions and pursuits...
No one expects you to become the next LeBron or Tom Brady... even Mark Zuckerberg... overnight.
But, at least once you know what your passions are, you can begin transmitting all the right "signals" to a woman... signals that say you HAVE A LIFE and won't be following her around like a LOVESICK PUPPY any time soon.
Okay, DC, I think that about covers it.
Follow these 4 Golden Rules for following up on a first date, and there's no doubt about it...
YOU will become the one in the driver's seat.
YOU will be the one who decides when you go out with her again, and how often you see her.
YOU will be the one she spends HER time obsessing about (instead of the other way around).
Best of all:
YOU will become the kind of man that OTHER women are fighting over to go out with.
Thanks again for the letter, DC.
I feel like I did a lot of good here today... think I'll go pat myself on the back for awhile.
Until next time, keep those emails coming...
Deep Inner Game
Deep Inner Game Will Reprogram You for Massive Success In Life And Love – No Matter How BAD You Feel Right Now, Or How Badly You’ve Been HURT In The Past.
Fear, anxiety, depression, nervousness, loneliness, anger, and frustration will quickly become a thing of the past.
Every part of your dating life will begin to run more smoothly, you’ll feel like you are on “auto-pilot” as you make all of the right moves with a woman.
This is the REAL Reason Some Men Will Always Fail With Women – And What You Can Do About It.
This program is an actual SCIENTIFIC METHOD for pinpointing and eliminating the things that are holding you back from success, and unleashing the powerful, attractive man that is hidden inside of you.
Learn the BEST way to:
- Eliminate FEAR And ANXIETY From Your Life
- Turbocharge Your CONFIDENCE
- Master Your “INNER GAME” To Get Women
About David DeAngelo:
David released his first book over ten years ago which changed the dating and attraction world for all the men he helped. He coined the phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice" which is the first of many books and programs I went through personally as did millions of men in every corner of the world.
His Double Your Dating ebook set up a series of programs that help men in any part of their game they need it in from approaching women, inner game work, all the way to meeting, finding, and entering a relationship with the woman of their dreams.
His advice is unique, ethical, smart, and cleverly intuitive as he progresses from matter-of-fact to counter intuitive techniques and tips he practiced himself first, before ever releasing them to the public.
He and I share many things in common as we both went from practically being a loser with women and dating to marrying the woman of our dreams.
Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know On How To Be Successful With Women
Here’s a sample of some of the great things you’ll learn:
- The simple thing you can do at the end of a conversation with a woman that leaves her eagerly waiting for more… and… gets HER to make the next call – pg. 56
- What you must do if you want to keep a woman interested in you FOREVER (This is THE KEY to having a long-term relationship with a woman… miss just this one thing and she’ll be on to the next guy before you know it) – pg. 89
- How and why women TEST men… plus… a fantastic way to effortlessly pass every test she throws at you… even if you have NO IDEA that you are being tested! (The best part is she’ll become MORE attracted to you each time, because you’ll be earning her respect instead of losing it) – pg. 43
- The 4 laws of “unpredictability” and “excitement” – What “bad boys” do to give a woman that addictive rush of adrenaline that keeps her coming back for more (Follow these 4 simple rules and you’ll never have to worry about her losing interest in you… or losing her to another man) – pg. 43
- The 9 words that make a woman feel totally comfortable coming back to your place… even if it’s the very first time you are together – pg. 87
- 3 ways to “tease” a woman that—when used together—build up a powerful “sexual tension” that gives her no choice but to make an aggressive sexual advance towards you – pgs. 49-51
- A simple, 7-part mini course that takes you by the hand and shows you step-by-step how to develop an amazing sense of humor FAST… even if you’ve always been the last guy to get a joke – pgs. 53-55
- My proven 10-step formula for meeting women online that you can learn in 5 minutes and start using right away (Don’t be surprised when your friends interrogate you to find out where they are all coming from) – pg. 79
- The 9-word phrase you can say at the end of a phone conversation that sets you up as the biggest “challenge” she’s had in her entire life! (Don’t be surprised if she tries to seduce you when she sees you in person… seriously) – pg. 84
- Everyone knows that women love men who make them laugh. Would you believe that I took the time to study comedy so I could attract women? In chapter four, I’ll tell you exactly how to become funnier— and I even give you a set of exact lines to use during conversation to make women laugh hysterically – pg. 50
- My 10-step first date “formula” that GUARANTEES a great time (Most guys mess this up and never end up seeing the girl again… Use this strategy to build her interest to the point where SHE is the one calling YOU because she can’t wait to see you again) – pgs. 85 & 86
- And much, much, much more…
This is the new SECOND EDITION of Double Your Dating, and it includes over 20% more BRAND-NEW material, including “Action Step” Chapter Summaries after every chapter.
Here’s How To Meet And Date The Kind Of Women You’ve Always Wanted.
The exact steps and specific directions to help you become more successful with women and dating – and you don’t have to be rich or handsome to do it.
- How to get a girlfriend
- How to overcome your fear of rejection
- "Cocky Comedy" - how to spark interest in ANY woman
- How to attract women, even if you are not tall, rich or handsome
- Flirting tips using eye contact and body language
- And MUCH more..
- Sex Secrets With Women
- Bridges: From the 1st Meeting To The Bedroom
- 8 Personality Types That Attract Women
- Free Interview With Dating Guru
Learn Secrets about Women and Dating Most Men Will Never Know.
Some important and required reading on dating:
Image of date night bowling with two couples by: Pavel Danilyuk.