Dating Tips: Q&A: How To Act On The First Date
**THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***
These are all questions that I get asked often in one way or another, and in this dating tip I'd like to address this topic.
The first thing to remember when you're meeting up with a girl for "a date" is that it's NOT an INTERVIEW.
You're not applying for a job (and neither is she), so don't act like it.
It's so funny to me when I sit down in a restaurant and I hear a couple that's obviously out on their first date... and the guy has no idea what to do.
It sounds like this:
"So, did you grow up around here?"
"Where did you go to school?"
"Do you have brothers and sisters?"
"What kinds of things do you like to do for fun?"
Why is it that people tend to act like they're on job interviews when they go out on dates?
It's just such the not-right thing to do.
I mean, no wonder women sit around with each other and complain about how hard it is to find an interesting guy in this world.
Here's a good rule of thumb:
ONLY ASK QUESTIONS OR TALK ABOUT COMMON, BORING, PREDICTABLE TOPICS LIKE SCHOOL, WORK AND FAMILY IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY RUN OUT OF ALL OTHER OPTIONS.
And why is this?
Good question. And I'm glad you asked.
First, let's talk about WHY most guys allow the conversation to turn to these ultra-boring topics...
Most guys approach a first date from the perspective of "I don't want to screw this up".
In other words, they try to play it safe and not do anything or say anything that the girl might not like.
They try to present themselves as "nice guys" who love mom,have a good job, and are stable.
Somehow, guys have gotten the idea that if they act nice, buy dinner, and talk about the same old things that everyone else uses to bore women to tears that they might get lucky and score (or at least get a kiss and a second opportunity to buy dinner).
I don't know where this concept came from, but it's just not a very effective approach.
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO THE SAME OLD SAME OLD, BORING, PREDICTABLE CONVERSATION.
Attraction happens when there is energy, spice, humor, mystery...
So if you want to create ATTRACTION instead of BOREDOM, you're going to have to learn a new way.
You're going to have to learn to talk about something else.
The trick to not talking about the "usual" things is to know how to make conversation INTERESTING.
Let me ask you, what are the most INTERESTING topics to humans in general?
Right - drama, violence, scandal, and comedy that is painful to one of the parties involved.
Here are a few good ideas for conversation that come to mind:
"So what's with The Osbournes being MTV's #1 show of all time? I guess people just can't get enough of dysfunctional family life...they have to watch it on TV too."
"I'm so bummed that J-Lo and Ben are on the rocks. They were so damn cute together. I was hoping that they'd have a daughter with perfect hair and a bedonka donk butt from birth."
"Have you tuned into this "Cheaters" TV show? Don't you just love it when they come storming into someone's house and catch the wife in bed with another guy on national TV?"
These topics will light up a conversation like nobody's business. And they create all kinds of opportunities to be cocky and funny while talking about the misfortunes and neurotic behavior of others.
The trick is that you must remember you're not there to impress her, and you're not on a job interview.
The more you act nervous, stilted, and uncomfortable...like you're trying to impress her and get her approval... and like you don't want to say anything that might make her disapprove of you, the less likely you are to trigger that all- important ATTRACTION inside of her.
And here's a real twist on this theme:
If SHE starts asking the "normal" questions about school, job, family, etc. this is a perfect opportunity to bust on her and say "What, is this a job interview?"
Or "Can't you think of something interesting to talk about? Please, spare me the pain of the usual school-job-family conversation. Let's save that until we're picking names for our kids."
Here are a few other good ideas for conversation:
Women love to hear stories about the history of places. If you're in an interesting part of town, tell her the story of how the area came to be named, or why the city was built where it is.
And if the story involves a tale of love and/or scandal, all the better.
2. Anything superficial, classy, and basically meaningless.
Try learning a little about fashion, this way you can make fun of it while acting like you know what you're talking about. "Didn't Madonna really screw up the fashion world with this whole over-the-top fake cowboy look thing?"
3. Comedy Psychological Analysis.
Have fun by giving your wild perspective on others.
"You know, I've been trying to figure out why so many people these days are going postal and shooting everyone. I think it might be all the NSYNC, Britney Spears, and Backstreet Boys on the radio."
This one can be a lot of fun... be creative.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
If you want to keep her interest, then you have to be INTERESTING.
The old-fashioned act-like-you're-on-a-job interview rap just doesn't cut it.
Now, for some guys, the ideas that I've just talked about will make sense, but they won't come naturally.
That's OK. You may have to work on this for awhile, especially if you've spent the last 25 or so years doing the wrong thing.
"No matter how far down the wrong road you've gone, TURN BACK."
So remember, attraction isn't a choice.
And attraction doesn't make logical sense.
If you want to create that magical "chemistry", then you're going to have to LEARN and PRACTICE it.
And if you'd like to learn DOZENS of great ideas on how to meet, attract, date, and get physical with women, I recommend that you download a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating," and sign up for my free Dating Tips Newsletter.
Just go to: Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo©
And I'll talk to you again soon,
Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know On How To Be Successful With Women
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Here’s a sample of some of the great things you’ll learn:
- I’ve tried every “pick-up line” in the book, and I found out something that I didn’t expect in a million years. In chapter six I’ll explain to you why most “pick up lines” cause you to lose before you begin, and what to do instead.
- The simple thing you can do at the end of a conversation with a woman that leaves her eagerly waiting for more… and… gets HER to make the next call – pg. 56
- How to give a woman that same feeling of “I have to have him” that she gets from a guy who is rich, famous, or good looking… without being any of those things yourself – pg. 12
- The thing almost all men do to try to keep a woman interested that actually repels her twice as fast… and often drives her into the arms of another man – pg. 14
- A proven exercise to develop a stone-cold, unshakable inner confidence that allows you to approach a woman in any situation without getting nervous and without fear of rejection – pg. 26
- A psychological tactic “regular” guys can use to make a woman ALWAYS choose them over a guy who is better looking or makes more money – pg. 15
- 7 things you can you do to dramatically improve your physical appearance OVERNIGHT (The best part is they cost very little in time or money… yet they double the chances of a woman responding positively to you) – pgs. 23 & 24
- The “mixed signal” women give in the bedroom that throws off 99% of all men… leaving her unsatisfied. Here’s what to do instead. (Hint: It’s not what she says, but what she DOES that matters) – pg. 61
- How to finally rid yourself FOREVER of those negative “inner demons” that have been sabotaging your success with women your entire life – pg. 28
- You know that “choked up” feeling you get in your stomach when you see a beautiful woman you want to meet? Here’s a simple exercise you can use “in the field “ to INSTANTLY eliminate all feelings of nervousness and charge yourself with confidence… right there on the spot – pg. 29
- The 6 things inexperienced guys do that instantly tell a woman they are NEEDY and INSECURE… and ruins their chances with her forever (Here’s what to do instead) – pg. 33
- I read all the books, went to the seminars, and tried everything. It wasn’t until I did THIS ONE THING that it all started to happen for me. On page 29 I’ll share the single most powerful thing you can do to become more successful at attracting women, and why almost no men do it.
- How to find and meet the guys who are the true masters with women and dating and get them to share their closely guarded secrets with you – pg. 30
- How to pinpoint and strengthen the parts of your personality that make a woman feel attraction for you so you make a lasting impression with every woman you meet – pg. 32
- 5 things you can do in the crucial first 10 minutes with a woman that instantly let her know you’re “in her league” (When she realizes you’re a “rare catch” she’ll do whatever she can to impress you) – pg. 45
- The deadly mistake too many men make when trying to sleep with a woman that all but guarantees they end up in “the friend zone” (If you only read one thing in this book, make sure it’s this) – pg. 34
- What you must do if you want to keep a woman interested in you FOREVER (This is THE KEY to having a long-term relationship with a woman… miss just this one thing and she’ll be on to the next guy before you know it) – pg. 89
- The 19 personality traits that draw a woman to a man like a magnet. Master just 3 or 4 and you’ll have an advantage over most men. Master them all and no woman will be able to say no to you. Here’s how to do it quickly and easily – pgs. 37-40
- “The Flake Test” – A simple tactic to use when setting up a date that cuts the chances of a woman “standing you up” down to ZERO – pg. 83
- How and why women TEST men… plus… a fantastic way to effortlessly pass every test she throws at you… even if you have NO IDEA that you are being tested! (The best part is she’ll become MORE attracted to you each time, because you’ll be earning her respect instead of losing it) – pg. 43
- The 4 laws of “unpredictability” and “excitement” – What “bad boys” do to give a woman that addictive rush of adrenaline that keeps her coming back for more (Follow these 4 simple rules and you’ll never have to worry about her losing interest in you… or losing her to another man) – pg. 43
- You can use the internet to meet women just like you’ve used the internet to find this site. In chapter seven, I’ll show you the EASY way to meet more women—right from the comfort of your home.
- The right way to respond when a woman complains about something (Handle this awkward situation wrong and you’re dust. Here’s how to calm her down and increase her attraction for you at the same time! I love this one…) – pg. 44
- Why the so-called dating “experts” are dead wrong in their ridiculous theories of “rapport” – Here’s how you can create a powerful, instant connection with a woman by doing the exact opposite of what these “wannabe gurus” tell you – pgs. 45 & 46
- The 9 words that make a woman feel totally comfortable coming back to your place… even if it’s the very first time you are together – pg. 87
- What to do when a w0man tries to play “head games” with you that quickly makes her stop and instead focus on impressing you (One of my favorites!) – pg. 46
- My secret hand holding technique you can use to give a woman “mixed signals” that make her curious and excited about you – pg. 49
- 3 ways to “tease” a woman that—when used together—build up a powerful “sexual tension” that gives her no choice but to make an aggressive sexual advance towards you – pgs. 49-51
- The 4 things you absolutely MUST do before having a woman over to your house (Most guys miss this entirely… and end up paying for it when she turns and walks out the door) – pg. 70
- A fantastic way to strike up a conversation with a woman in a bar or a nightclub that works EVERY TIME – pg. 53
- The REAL reason why many women are addicted to drama (soap operas, romance novels, and of course, playing games with men) and how you can use this to make her positively addicted to YOU from the moment you meet – pg. 11
- A simple, 7-part mini course that takes you by the hand and shows you step-by-step how to develop an amazing sense of humor FAST… even if you’ve always been the last guy to get a joke – pgs. 53-55
- Most men are not very good at reading female body language. In chapter four I’ll show you how to read body language that most men DON’T EVEN KNOW EXISTS.
- How to turn the tables on a woman who is playing “head games” with you and use those same games to make HER want you more! (And the best part is that women LOVE when you do this) – pg. 56
- How to get a woman incredibly turned on in the first 15 minutes she spends at your place… without ever touching her! (This will drive her THROUGH THE ROOF with anticipation… don’t be surprised if SHE makes the first move) – pgs. 87-88
- Why most guys actually shoot themselves in the foot when they compliment a woman… Here’s the crucial thing you need to do differently if you want to get results – pg. 58
- How to use your body language to project unshakable confidence and MASCULINE POWER that makes you appear more desirable than any other man in the room (Your friends will never figure out why the women keep coming up to YOU instead of them) – pg. 64
- An eye contact secret of the “players” you can use to captivate a woman from across the room… even if she catches you by surprise – pg. 65
- The “big secret” no relationship book will ever tell you about woman’s body language (This will help you advance things with a woman TWICE as fast) – pg. 66
- Here’s one of my favorites! – How to make a woman believe that it’s her that’s “picking up” on you (I know, this one sounds pretty out there, but I do it ALL THE TIME—and women love it!) and I’ll tell you exactly how I do it on page 71.
- My special secret to turning any phone conversation with a woman into as steamy erotic encounter that makes her want to hang up the receiver… and run straight over to your house! – pg. 67
- A simple phrase you can say to a woman that makes her see you as a “psychic powerhouse” who knows every little thing about her… and more importantly… how to please her – pg. 11
- How to use chivalry to sweep a woman off her feet (This is the one secret women wish all men knew… but unfortunately it can’t be found anywhere else) – pg. 72
- My favorite “never fail” way to start a conversation with a woman that works EVEN BETTER on very attractive women (The best part is it gets HER doing the talking… while you just sit back and listen) – pg. 77
- My proven 10-step formula for meeting women online that you can learn in 5 minutes and start using right away (Don’t be surprised when your friends interrogate you to find out where they are all coming from) – pg. 79
- A “why didn’t I think of that” way to easily find and meet a woman who is exactly what YOU are looking for – pg. 35
- A simple psychological secret that makes a woman TWICE as likely to give you her phone number and email address – pg. 81
- What to say to a woman when she’s writing her phone number down that guarantees she gives you THE REAL DIGITS … and… a number she actually answers – pg 81
- My proven step-by-step sequence for turning a woman’s phone number into a date… exactly when to call and what to say to GUARANTEE you see her again – pgs. 82-84
- On page 21 I’ll explain how to dress and groom yourself (inexpensively) to attract the woman or women that you want – I even give you specific clothing and cologne recommendations.
- A psychological secret you can use to guarantee a woman will ALWAYS return your phone calls… and fast – pg. 83
- The 9-word phrase you can say at the end of a phone conversation that sets you up as the biggest “challenge” she’s had in her entire life! (Don’t be surprised if she tries to seduce you when she sees you in person… seriously) – pg. 84
- Why women turn to certain men for dinners and dates and other men for sex (Here’s how YOU can turn the tables and always be the one who makes the choice) – pg. 82
- A strategic move that sets any date off right by putting HER in the position to try to impress YOU – pg. 82
- Most guys I know don’t know how to get the confidence to meet women. In chapter two, I’ll teach you how to fix your self-image so you can have the confidence to meet women in any situation.
- What to say when a woman asks you a “loaded” question to smoothly and easily avoid it altogether – pg. 62
- Everyone knows that women love men who make them laugh. Would you believe that I took the time to study comedy so I could attract women? In chapter four, I’ll tell you exactly how to become funnier— and I even give you a set of exact lines to use during conversation to make women laugh hysterically – pg. 50
- My 10-step first date “formula” that GUARANTEES a great time (Most guys mess this up and never end up seeing the girl again… Use this strategy to build her interest to the point where SHE is the one calling YOU because she can’t wait to see you again) – pgs. 85 & 86
- 10 years of studying psychology and behavior has taught me a lot about people. In chapter one, I’ll give you a specific map of the female mind and how women think, so you can know exactly what you’re dealing with.
- Would you like to know how to attract beautiful women without the benefit of looks or money? I thought so. Starting on page 29, I go into detail and explain exactly how to do it.
- 3 ways “bad boys” use the power of “mixed messages” to drive a woman wild with curiosity and excitement – pg. 58
- I’ll also teach you all of the basics of how to deal with women, from the first conversation to the bedroom (This is important, as most men have at least ONE area that they’re weak in… I explain it all)
- And much, much, much more…
Even better, this is the new SECOND EDITION of Double Your Dating, and it includes over 20% more BRAND-NEW material, including “Action Step” Chapter Summaries after every chapter.
The best part is you don’t have to wait for this book to come in the mail, or drive to a store to get it.
You can download it to your computer right now!
And by the way, guys, WOMEN OF ALL AGES LOVE THIS STUFF.
It doesn't skew towards ANY type of women.
I used to flirt with every woman I met... of every age.
They ALL loved it.
And I get emails from guys of all ages who use this stuff to meet women of all ages... with HUGE RESULTS.
Now, to be fair, from time to time I do get an email from someone who says "It sounds to me like you're suggesting to men that they act like jerks", etc.
What does this tell me?
It tells me that guys like that are just not familiar with David's materials, and they just don't get it.
This isn't about making women feel BAD...
It's about making them feel GOOD!
Using tools like attention or attention getting techniques, or techniques to disarm a woman a little bit so you can get past her barriers are not ever designed to bring a woman harm.
Use these techniques to get her attention and start the process of getting to know her.
It may be the best thing that you will ever do for both you AND her.
Here’s How To Meet And Date The Kind Of Women You’ve Always Wanted.
The exact steps and specific directions to help you become more successful with women and dating – and you don’t have to be rich or handsome to do it.
- How to get a girlfriend
- How to overcome your fear of rejection
- "Cocky Comedy" - how to spark interest in ANY woman
- How to attract women, even if you are not tall, rich or handsome
- Flirting tips using eye contact and body language
- And MUCH more..
- Sex Secrets With Women
- Bridges: From the 1st Meeting To The Bedroom
- 8 Personality Types That Attract Women
- Free Interview With Dating Guru
Learn Secrets about Women and Dating Most Men Will Never Know.
About David DeAngelo:
David released his first book over ten years ago which changed the dating and attraction world for all the men he helped. He coined the phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice" which is the first of many books and programs I went through personally as did millions of men in every corner of the world.
His Double Your Dating ebook set up a series of programs that help men in any part of their game they need it in from approaching women, inner game work, all the way to meeting, finding, and entering a relationship with the woman of their dreams.
His advice is unique, ethical, smart, and cleverly intuitive as he progresses from matter-of-fact to counter intuitive techniques and tips he practiced himself first, before ever releasing them to the public.
He and I share many things in common as we both went from practically being a loser with women and dating to marrying the woman of our dreams.