How Women Interpret What You Say

Written by David DeAngelo - creator of Double Your Dating.

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whatsup dr dave,

let me start out by saying you are my savior. I've been getting your newsletters for about a month now, and WOW! thank you.

my question is

: i work in a restaurant. needless to say there are quite a few 8s,9s and even a few 10s working there. approaching and talking to them is not a problem. but i feel i should be careful when asking one of them to join me for beer after work.

i don't want to bring any feelings of uncomfortableness between us (if she's not interested). what would you recommend i do and what should i say?

t indy


The first thing to remember is that when you "ask a woman out," you IMMEDIATELY start a whole chain of mental and emotional events for a woman.

She has to decide if she "likes you" and if there could ever be anything between the two of you... and if she's thirsty and interested in free beer.

You get my drift.

Women know when you're asking them "out out," as in you're asking them because you have a "romantic interest."

Guess what?

When you do this, it ALSO puts the woman in the driver's seat in the situation because she instantly realizes that she has something you want. Have you ever heard of "wanting it tax?" It's when the price goes up the more you want it.

Now, as you probably know, I don't generally think that it's such a great idea to date women you WORK with, because you never know what's going to happen, and the last thing you need is losing your job or having to work for hours at a time in an uncomfortable situation.

And besides, attractive women usually have attractive FRIENDS, and if you're cool, the women you work with can lead to an endless supply of dates. Think it over.

You might want to think of it as a goose that lays golden eggs.

Even though I don't advise dating women you work with, I still want to address your basic question of asking a woman out without creating discomfort...

Remember, most guys do the exact same things. They start talking to a woman, then say, "Hey, can I take you out sometime?" or "Do you have a boyfriend?"

This stuff is HORRIBLE.

It does exactly the wrong thing. It makes you look like a wuss boy that needs a girlfriend. And if she's not interested (which she probably won't be), then it WILL create some discomfort in the future.


If it's a woman you know, tease her, bust on her, and generally act like you don't care. Make a comment about her and walk away. Be Cocky & Funny when you're with her, and don't be boring.

Then, if she's responding positively (laughing, hitting you, telling you that you're a pain, etc.), then say, "Hey, do you have email?"

If she does, have her write it down, then say, "Bye".

From a MAN'S perspective this might not seem any different than just asking a woman out.

But, from the WOMAN'S perspective it's VERY different.

First of all, you've never shown her any romantic interest, which doesn't give up your power in the situation, and hand it all to her.

Secondly, instead of putting "dating" pressure on her, you've only asked her for her email address (and maybe her number as well).

But you HAVEN'T asked her on a date, you HAVEN'T created any kinds of weird vibes in the air, and you HAVE made her wonder what you have in mind.

It's powerful, think about it.


Hey Dave,

First off, I want to tell you how amazing your stuff is! (I'm sure you already know) It's really changed my life. I feel great about myself! I never realized how much of a wuss I was until after reading your book. lol...I laugh at how
stupid I was. I am now able to talk to women and feel completely confident about myself. It's great!

Anyways, I was on a double date the other night and I decided to try some of your techniques. I noticed that just by acting like you are in control of yourself, gets you far. I had my date feeling as though she wasn't good enough for me, and my friends date was even hitting on me. I could not believe it. However, I had trouble coming up with some C&F things to say.

How do you know what to say and when to say it? I want to master this!

What do you suggest to further this skill?



OK, let me see if I understand your situation.

You read my book, realized you were a wuss, STOPPED being a wuss, STARTED getting great results, and now you want to know what I suggest to further your skills?

Here's a hint.

...and here's another one:

Sit down and take an hour of your life to:

WRITE DOWN the 10 most common situations you find yourself in with women, then come up with 3 great Cocky & Funny lines for each situation.

Finally, practice them in your mind, and in the real world until they feel natural.



Hello Dave, This is T., I just ordered and received your program's and I'm ready to roll, I just want to let you know my current situation, not once have i dated someone who I was really attracted to, clicked with, and who was emotionally stable, I'm 27 years old and all my friends are dating descent looking women and moving on in their relationships,

They tried setting me up with a few people, but they were all nasty looking, and they tell me that I'm very picky and that i should learn to "like someone for who they are" which i think is pure bullsh**, to me, attraction is very important or else i can't date the person, I know I'm a good-looking guy and I can do just as good and better once I gain the tools from your program's,

I have a problem with being "nice," instead of cocky, ball-busting, and mysterious, like all my other friends, the few girls that I've dated that i found attractive always stopped calling me and I simply don't know why, i simply don't have the positive qualities that the "jerk" has,

i simply don't know how to approach someone who's attractive and carry on a good conversation, will the videos turn all that around for me?

hope this email isn't too long, if it is, I'll keep it shorter next time.


The short answer is: YES. DEFINITELY.


"...hope this email isn't too long, if it is, I'll keep it shorter next time..."


Are you with me?

Next time you write me, and you think your email might be a little too long just say, "If this email is too long for you to include in your newsletter, let me know and I'll edit it."

Don't say things like, "hope this email isn't too long."

Subtle things communicate so much.



David, I have used your C&F stuff with amazing success, but theres one area of difficulty I have encountered. I'm a freshman in college and I talk to A LOT of girls. Almost all of the girls I've talked to are very nice and seem very interested and love the C&F attitude.

I get their AOL Instant Messenger names and their e-mails and all but the problem is that some of them, even though they had a fun time talking with me and they spent a lot of time with me initially, they block me and ignore me and I don't understand why.

I've asked ALL of them why but they don't respond to me and they look at me weird and shyly. But I say and do the same thing with them as I do with others who don't block me and who just completely love me. I just don't get it. I thought that maybe I intimidated them or something.

Help me David Help Meee!!!-c

(btw your stuff is incredible...I have 10x the
confidence and ability to get dates with women
than I ever had in the past, thanks man!)


Lol... calm down. You're making me nervous.

You sound like you need to chill out and relax.

If you're getting BLOCKED on instant messenger, then you're probably being just a TAD too pushy with these women.

Lean back.


Make a comment online then say, "I have to run"...

Don't act like you want her attention.


And did I mention that you need to RELAX?

Did you hear the story about the old bull and the young bull standing on the hill?

The young bull says, "Hey, let's RUN down there and have sex with one of them cows!"

Old bull looks at him and says, "Let's WALK down there and have sex with ALL of them."

Ponder. Reflect. Repeat.


Let me preface this by saying that I agree 100% with your ideas. I realized the cocky and funny principles in high school, when I noticed a good friend got laid constantly because he just naturally had that routine down. He always laughed about it - the less he appeared to care about getting laid, the more he got laid. Pure magic.

But I'm just curious if there are women who are actually turned off by the cocky and funny routine.

I've always liked smart, nerdy girls - the librarian archetype - and I'm a little leery that these women might not be so impressed with the C&F.

Nobody likes a wuss, of course, but I'm wondering about the women who aren't so easily manipulated.

How about some failure stories?

When doesn't this stuff work so well, and are there things to watch for to keep from going too far with it?


First of all, Cocky & Funny isn't a super- secret, covert manipulation tactic. It's a way of flirting, teasing, and interacting with women in a way that they enjoy.

Secondly, I've found that the only women who DON'T respond well to it are women who are UPTIGHT, women who aren't at all interested, or overly SHY women who are intimidated (in which case you can usually just tone it down and have fun with them, too).

That's my personal experience.

Smart, nerdy girls like the ones you're attracted to (I'm glad you have that market cornered, by the way) should LOVE to spar with you and will probably LOVE your Cocky & Funny attitude. Keep it intellectual.

There will ALWAYS be situations in life when things don't work for you.

Michael Jordan misses a lot of shots, and he's the best in the world at BBall.

We don't live in an ideal testing lab, we live in reality.

Don't worry about what won't work, and find what will.

The thing to watch for to keep from going too far with Cocky & Funny is a woman getting VISIBLY ANGRY or asking you to leave. If that happens, walk away.

By the way, if you want to MASTER this technique, then you REALLY need to check out my "Cocky Comedy" program. It's the only program in the world that teaches you how to use this unique form of fun flirting to create ATTRACTION with women.


Hey Dave

Here comes a big thank you. Your material is unbelievable/ amazing/ your fave thesaurus here>. Just wanted to clue you in on what you've done for me and how you've healed the social leper (at least with girls) that was me.

Bit of background: I'm short, stocky, average looks but I can be funny. The "funny nice guy" got me places, but trouble was, I was a major wimp when it came to women.

The Sub-Standard "Mom's brainwashing" owns up at this point. I'd stumbled
my way through school and early twenties, slowly but surely improving my appearance and myself from no-hoper to "in-with-a-chance -if-he'd-only-open- his-mouth" type guy.

Last Christmas I got lucky with a girl I'd dreamed about at work. And when I
say I got lucky, I mean she seemed to fancy me too. Well in early October this year, after losing her completely to the Mystery that is Women's Attraction, I was at the end of my tether.

I'd go home after parties seriously annoyed that I got nowhere, ragging on at myself for missing my chances. I was losing my will to live, metaphorically at least.

Anyway, did a search on the net, found your stuff, and downloaded your ebook the same day. Read it,and immediately realized what I'd done wrong with that girl.

Mentally, committed myself to give up on the memory of her and moved on. That evening, went out to a club with friends and applied your principles (well what I could remember anyway) and did SO well I was a new man.

UNTIL I got a little too drunk and turned WIMP again and spilled out
how I thought this girl there (a friend) was amazing etc. She literally hid from me the rest of the night. hahaha.

So fast forward to now: The Wussbag side of me has been consigned to a berth on S.S. Titanic, and I have had 6's and 7's throwing themselves at me
these last couple of months. I'm moving up the food chain slowly but surely.

Cheers for sorting my head/life/etc. out and helping me towards being able to look myself in the eye in the mirror again.

Some wise person once said "If you wanna get loaded quick, start a religion".

Well Dave, looks like you've inadvertently done that.


MJ London


What, no gifts for me?

Yeah, you gotta be careful with that alcohol stuff.

It can loosen you up, but it can just as easily make you act like a dumb ass in the worst way.

Great job, and thanks for the email.

Isn't it great that we regular guys can have success with women...? Love it.



I've never wrote into one of these before, but after reading some of your stuff and putting it to the test I wanted to commend you on your C & F technique... Good Stuff!

Since I'm on winter break right now I've only got a chance to try it out online. It's been going great and I've been getting good responses, but I can't figure out how to close the deal.

I know you said that you want to get the woman on the phone as soon as possible, but all I've been getting is a couple e-mails a day from this one that I'm trying to bag.

She is a definite 9.5-10 and without a doubt interested in me, I just can't get her to close the deal and contact me on the phone or give me her number.

What should I do?





I'd first recommend that you stop thinking about "bagging" and "closing the deal" and start thinking about how you can make her feel ATTRACTION.

If a woman feels ATTRACTION for you, then the "bagging" will take care of itself. Are you with me here?


If you're just dating women right now, NEVER put too much importance on one woman... ESPECIALLY one that you've never even talked to.

Meet other women.

Go out.

And get your mind of off "closing" and "bagging."

That's needy, user talk.


My first very try of your wisdom. I got a phone call with a girl ringing about my car. My mate saw who she was and began chatting her up. Then i got
on the phone and gave it a speal, and told her to contact me for a test drive and I would show her the ropes.

The next day i got a phone call from her again. she never liked the car but asked me if i used the phone number to help pick-up! I put it back onto
her and told her that she called me and was picking me up. she never denied it.

two days later i rang her and told her i was coming her way and would like to partake in her favorite meal and coffee. was Thursday or Friday best.

Sure enough i got the date. my first very time I've asked a girl out, and she ended up being a 5'10" leggy blonde who did modeling and was studying law! CATCH!

Thanks for the confidence boost C - Australia


You know, the language barrier might exist, but the communication is LOUD AND CLEAR.

Nice work.


Dave, I have your ebook and your Advance program and my success with women has dramatically increased. I used to get nervous around attractive
women and would act like a complete wuss. Now I am able to remain confident and in control, and sometimes I notice women blush or act nervous when I talk to them.

My problem comes when I am having a conversation with a woman. It seems like I am only able to talk about relatively boring things like, "how's school going?", "what did you do last weekend?", etc.. It is hard for me to incorporate the C&F attitude when I am not in that fun, easy going state of

I can never think of anything that I could bust her balls on. If I am in the right setting and atmosphere, like at a party, it is easier for me to pull off the C&F attitude all night.

I do notice that once I make a comment that gets a woman to laugh, it's all good from that moment on.

What kind of C&F comments can I make when first meeting a woman to get into the flow of things?

Should I focus on her physical attributes or something else when making that first C&F comment?

Thanks MP Louisville, KY


The FIRST thing you need to do is LISTEN TO THE PROGRAM AGAIN.

It's more important that you just RELAX and get rid of your INSECURITIES than ANYTHING ELSE!

Cocky & Funny is important, but it's MORE important that you practice the body language and voice tone exercises in that program, and you learn how to project the types of beliefs and self image that attracts women.

Don't worry as much about the techniques.

The body language and attitude are FAR more important for you at this stage.


Hi Dave, I have to say I'm the biggest wussie you'll ever meet! I mean I can even get the nerves to order your seminar, which I truly want to order.

I just got out of a 13yr. marriage a year ago and I really want to get back out into the dating world and have fun like the rest of the guys.

The problem is that I can't break out of this wussie shell that I'm in. I Don't know how to give myself courage to approach women without my subconscious mind wussing out.

I've read all of your dating tips, and they sound great, but I'm still in confusion on starting a conversation with a women and keeping it alive. I have to admit that I'm one of those quiet guys that don't say to much unless I know a women likes me, then I can talk my ass off, then after all said and done I still wussed out on asking her for a phone number, or a date.

I desperately need your help to get me back in the dating world, and if you can't help me then I don't think anybody can.

Do you have any advice to get me out of this wussie stage so I can get back out into the dating world, and to purchase your dating seminar?

Do you have any seminars coming to Minnesota?

thanx K.


Please follow these instructions:

1) Find a strong, buff friend.

2) Ask him to BITCH SLAP you.

Repeat until you can stop acting like a girl.

I would recommend that you invest in my Advanced Series, but I don't want to confuse and upset you.



You are the man!!! I have been receiving your newsletters for about 4 months now, and plan to get your book as soon as I get some legal issues taken care of.

I gotta say that your stuff works wonders. Here is my example; I was at the
laundromat earlier today, and I just happened to run across a girl I went to High School with.

I have changed a lot since then, and she didn't recognize me. I couldn't resist the temptation .....this was a girl who blow me off back then. I walked up to her and started talking. Nothing much, busting on her for coming in with her mom ..... "You still living with Mommy I see."

Stuff like that. So, after a few minutes, I tell her I have to go finish up my clothes. I walk away without saying a word. While I'm standing there folding my clothes, I glance up a few times and watch her looking at me.

Every time I look up, I give her this sly little half-cocked grin and she jerks her head away. I finish up and go to leave, giving her only that little grin as I'm going, and walk out to my car.

Right before I start the car, she's running out with a slip of paper in her hand. Its her number. Like I said before, this was a girl who wouldn't even look my way 4 years ago.

Okay's my question.....Normally I couldn't approach a girl like I did this one. I get up to them, say hi, then I freeze......once I can get into the c&f routine its no problem......but a lot of times, I find it hard to get into it.......Got any pointers for me?

FC Kentucky



Don't you wish you could turn back the hands of time and have another chance with all those hot girls that ran around your high school... the ones that wouldn't even look at you?

I'm pretending that I'm you right now, and it's great.

To answer your question, don't worry too much about being Cocky & Funny when you first meet a girl that you've never talked to... one that you've just approached.

The only thing you need to focus on is getting her info so you can follow up later.

Use the 3 minute email/number technique, and don't worry about being Cocky & Funny until you get together with her next.

Trying to come up with cute lines when you first meet a girl usually makes you self- conscious. Just get her info!


Hi Dave,

I recently ordered your program and I have to tell you that it was totally amazing. I am calling it amazing due to the lack of words that can describe/praise the series. I have had your book for about a year now.

When I got the book, it was a big eye opener and I felt like taking the book and hitting myself over the head with it {I used to be a big WUSS}. I thought nothing could be better than that but you proved me wrong by releasing the series which is absolutely untouchable!

I have read your book many times and have heard the program about five times. EVERY TIME I hear it again I hear something that I failed to hear/note/realize before. I have decided not to listen to any program or radio till I have this stuff so embedded in my subconscious mind that it becomes second nature.

For this I would also like to make a suggestion to all of the other readers. There is a saying: "IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LEARN YOU MUST BECOME".

I have realized many times that I act and behave normal when I am around friends Or women that I am not interested in.

BUT as soon as a hottie comes around, I try to switch to the personality and character that you have taught most of the times I succeed BUT there are many times when it is hard to so SUDDENLY change.


I also realized that BODY LANGUAGE is 93 or better percentage of the communication. BUT have not seen you RECOMMEND A BOOK ON BODY LANGUAGE.

I went to the library and Borders and found a lot of books in fact, too many!

Can you suggest a couple on Body language?

Thanks in advance.

Thanks! PG


Thanks for your email.

I love it when I hear from guys who are taking action, and getting this part of their lives together!

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find ANY books about body language that I consider to be GREAT.

And worse, most of the books I've read about on body language teach you NOTHING useful about ATTRACTION.

You might check out some books on body language at that bookstore... But unless you understand all the things you've learned from my Advanced Series, it won't all make very much sense.

...and if you're reading this right now and you HAVEN'T gotten your copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques Program yet, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Let's see...

1. It's the best investment you can possibly make in your dating success.

2. It's over 12 full hours of digitally recorded, edited and mastered.

3. You can try it Risk-Free... with no commitment of any kind. If you don't love it, get excited by it, and have more real success with women - just let me know you want to cancel. Really.

Get it here!

And of course, if you haven't yet read my original eBook "Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", then you really need to get that now.

You can download it and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now...

I'll talk to you again soon.

David DeAngelo

About David DeAngelo:

David DeAngelo Profile

David released his first book over ten years ago which changed the dating and attraction world for all the men he helped. He coined the phrase "Attraction Isn't A Choice" which is the first of many books and programs I went through personally as did millions of men in every corner of the world.

His Double Your Dating ebook set up a series of programs that help men in any part of their game they need it in from approaching women, inner game work, all the way to meeting, finding, and entering a relationship with the woman of their dreams.

His advice is unique, ethical, smart, and cleverly intuitive as he progresses from matter-of-fact to counter intuitive techniques and tips he practiced himself first, before ever releasing them to the public.

He and I share many things in common as we both went from practically being a loser with women and dating to marrying the woman of our dreams.

You can sign up for his free newsletter right here:

Click Here to Learn Secrets Most Men Will Never Know About Women Dating

You can also read lots of great advice articles from him here at DiaLteG TM:

David DeAngelo – The Best Expert In Dating & Attracting Great Women

Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know On How To Be Successful With Women

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Image of man and woman on date chatting - she's interpretting everything he says by: Ketut Subiyanto

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