Written by Dean Cortez.
One of the most powerful techniques in The One Night Stands Playbook is learning how to "plant seeds" in a woman's mind about your own attractive qualities. This is a subtle way of letting her know about your positive characteristics, without ever sounding like you're bragging.
Women naturally have 5 main objections, programmed into their brains, that tell them why they shouldn't go home with a guy they just met.
For some girls, these objections are just a minor concern in the back of their minds. After a couple of drinks they forget all about them.
Some girls don't worry about this stuff at all.
But with other girls, you're going to need to overcome all 5 in order to make her feel comfortable with having sex with you tonight.
There's no way of knowing whether any of these objections, or all of them, are important to her.
That's why I try to eliminate all five during the course of the conversation; this way, I know I've covered all the bases.
I don't have enough space here to cover all 5 objections, but let me give you 3 big ones:
- She may get pregnant (yes, women have a fear of this -- you can't blame 'em!)
- She might suffer social consequences (i.e. her friends/peers will find out she had sex with you, and think she's a slut)
- She really likes you and is interested in a possible relationship, and she's worried that if she has sex with you too soon, you won't respect her or want to date her.
The way to eliminate these objections, without sounding obvious, is to tell short stories that plant the right seeds in her mind. These stories can reference your own experiences (they don't need to actually be true), or about people you know.
As you gain more experience using these tactics with women, you'll start coming up with all kinds of stories and "seeds."
I'll share a few ones that I use.
A tactic that allows you to introduce ANY subject into the conversation is to take your phone out of your pocket, as if you just received a text message, and check your phone screen.
Then use the imaginary text message to start a new topic.
I can say,
"My friend Ben texted me. He just left here with a girl he met. I'm just going to text him and tell him to be safe...hey, you gotta use protection. That's one of my big rules."
Or I can tell a quick story:
"One time I hooked up with a girl and right in the middle of it she tried to pull the condom off. I actually had to kick her out of bed because she didn't want to use one. Isn't that crazy?"
You get the idea.
Slip into the conversation the fact that you always practice safe sex. Then you can change the subject. The seed has been planted in her mind.
What about objection #2, that she might suffer social consequences?
First, keep in mind that women are naturally very concerned about their social status & value. It's a big deal to them. She doesn't anyone to think of her as being a "slut."
If this is a girl you work with, or go to school with, she's going to be even MORE concerned about her "image" being tarnished.
Or, maybe she has a boyfriend (or a husband!)
What if he finds out?
There could be another guy in her life she isn't telling you about. She might have a lot at stake here, and she can't afford to sleep with a guy who can't keep a secret.
This is why you've got to let her know you are a DISCREET dude. Tell a quick story that demonstrates you don't "kiss and tell."
I can pretend to check a text message on my phone, or glance across the room at some guy (pretending like I know him), and say something along the lines of:
"My friend Mike is so pissed. Last night he went out for drinks with his co-workers, and the tequila shots got out of control...he ended up sharing a taxi with this girl from the accounting department who's had a huge crush on him forever, and they kissed a little in the backseat. Just a stupid, drunken moment on Mike's part.
And today when he got to his office, everyone was cracking jokes about it and busting Mike's balls. It turns out the girl told everyone! Mike feels terrible about it because he's got a serious girlfriend and now this crazy chick he works with is telling everyone they're DATING, which is totally not true. I just think it's so uncool when people kiss and tell, don't you?"
"I did something the other night I probably shouldn't have...I hooked up with one of my sister's friends. It was just a casual, one-time thing. But then, the weirdest thing happened...the next night another one of her friends called me to hang out.
Apparently she'd talked to the girl I slept with, and now SHE wanted to be with me. And then another one of my sister's friends called me. I was kind of flattered... but I don't get why women have to tell everyone they know about something private that happened between two people. I've got some good stories (smile) but I always keep them to myself..."
This story communicates several things:
1 - I'm a mature guy who has a normal sex life and I know how it's supposed to go when two people hook up. I don't stalk women or get hung up on them. So, this girl doesn't need to worry about any problems later if we hook up tonight.
2 - I value discretion. I think it's very uncool when people share details with their friends about their intimate encounters. This stuff should be kept between the two people. She doesn't need to worry about me blabbing about what went down between us.
3 – I'm a rock star in bed 🙂 Obviously, all these girls who wanted to hang out with me heard some good things about my skills, right?
The cool thing is, I can communicate these three points -- all of which say very positive things about me -- without ever sounding like I'm trying to bring them up, or trying to impress my target.
At the same time, I'm overcoming her objections.
If we wind up having sex tonight, she knows I'm not the type of guy who is going to cause problems for her.
Now let's move on to the third objection (she likes you, and worries that if she has sex with you tonight you won't want to see her again).
You can neutralize this the objection by playing up why the two of you will be hanging out in the future. She may be up for a no-strings-attached One Night Stand the same as you, but it's still a good idea to neutralize this objection because it can make her feel more comfortable -- knowing that it isn't your intention to bang her and kick her to the curb.
Mention how the two of you are doing to do something together in the future. Don't try to make any specific plans, like,
"Next Friday night you and I are going out to dinner."
Instead, make VAGUE suggestions that sound really fun.
If you find out you both like the same band, say something like,
"The next time they come here to do a show, you and me are totally going. I'm getting us tickets."
Or if you find out you both love a certain party destination, tell her.
"One of these days we're totally going there together. We'll have a blast, just promise me you won't get us into too much trouble."
If you find out she's into working out, you tell her,
"You need to be my personal trainer. I'm coming to your gym sometime so you can show me your routine."
Or, you tell her that you're going to show her something: how to play guitar, how to surf, how to create a blog, whatever you're into that she expresses interest in learning.
Or, plan a road trip with her:
"I'm looking to do a road trip soon. Have you ever done that-packed up your car with a cooler full of food and drinks, and hit the road with your friends to go someplace totally new and have an adventure?"
When she says it sounds like fun, I tell her,
"You and I have to go on a road trip one of these days. Are you in?"
Getting her excited about going on some adventure, going to see an amazing concert, etc. also creates the perfect opportunity for you to start building physical contact with her.
Give her a high-five. Or thumb-wrestle her to decide who drives and who gets to ride shotgun. Or make her "pinky swear" that you're going to do this thing together.
This plan will probably never happen.
It can even be crazy and ridiculous:
"Julia, what's a place you've always dreamed of visiting? Don't give me a lame answer...seriously, if we could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you want to go?"
She says, "Paris."
"OK, Paris it is. I see us spending a few years in Paris living the glamorous life and then moving out to the country. I'm thinking a cool little chateau in the south of France. That's a better place for us to raise our six kids.
But it's going to be expensive for us to get set up over in Paris, so here's the plan. You and I are going to start robbing banks. I go in and hold ‘em up, and you drive the getaway car. Once we've saved up a few million bucks, and the cops are closing in, we jump on the next plane to Paris and live happily ever after."
The crazier these "plans" sound, the better they work -- because she'll be more likely to play along and say "sure, why not! Sounds great!"
On a conscious level, she knows it will never actually happen -- but on a subconscious level, she's imagining doing these things with you and enjoying the fantasy.
Do some fun "role playing," and you'll build the idea in her mind that the two of you have a relationship that will go beyond tonight -- even if you only met a half-hour ago.
When it comes to romance, women live in the realm of fantasy. Have you ever watched a soap opera on television or read a romance novel?
To us, this stuff seems like corny, unrealistic crap. But to women, it sparks sexual fantasies -- the idea of leaving their boring lives and being swept away by some mysterious, romantic stranger.
What you're doing here is injecting fun into the conversation in a huge way.
The guy who makes her feel the most fun is usually the guy who has the best chance of taking her home.
REMEMBER: Instead of telling stories like the ones above, you can flip it around and come up with your OWN objections about HER!
In other words, pretend like YOU have the objections... and now it's her job to convince you there won't be any problems if tonight leads to sex.
"Cindi, just promise me that if we hook up you're not going to fall in love with me way too fast. I do have effect on women sometimes."
(She laughs and assures me that no, she's not that type of girl. Obviously, I'm not that type of person either.)
Or, to let her know you're a "discreet" guy, you could say:
"My friend John hooked up with a girl at this bar once. She was drop-dead gorgeous and seemed cool...but then the next day she called him six times to try to see him again and started sending him all these crazy texts, like, 'I think I love you...' 'You'd better not be seeing any other girls...'
it was like the movie Fatal Attraction! He had to change his number. Why are some people like that?"
Here's another way to achieve the same thing, using fewer words.
You point out a guy and a girl who are making out in the venue. Say to your target,
"Promise me you're not going to try to make out with me here in front of everyone. That's totally not my style."
To neutralize the objection about you possibly never wanting to see her again, you can say,
"Promise me that if you wind up seducing me tonight, you'll still respect me in the morning."
(You can add, "And that we'll still go on that road trip together." (Or whatever "vague plans" you made with her earlier.)
You've planted the seed in her mind: you are the OPPOSITE of the objection you are raising.
Now, I mentioned earlier that there are 5 Objections you'll want to overcome. I gave you three of them. The other two are in The One Night Stands Playbook, and they're also extremely important. But with some clever, creative techniques, they're also easy to overcome 🙂
Those along with so many vital things you MUST pay attention to as you're trying to speed-close a girl, any thing could go wrong at ANY time and you've got to be quick as LIGHTNING and be tactful as hell to manage, deal, control & LEAD her into the exact direction you want her to go into.
See -- as I started to do research on the topic, I found that even though this stuff was right out "in plain sight", no one had ever really noticed or DESCRIBED it.
To make a long story short, I took this new "secret" information that I discovered, and put together an entire program to teach it to other guys...
As far as I know, this is the ONLY program of its kind ever created.
In fact, I get emails all the time from guys who say that just one time through this program instantly changed their views on women and attraction... and allowed them to spark attraction and build "chemistry" or "sexual tension" with women in every type of situation... IMMEDIATELY.
And they did it at LIGHTNING SPEED.
"Sexy" communication is what I call it.
Women LOVE it.
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More from Dean Cortez -Located here at DiaLteG TM: