Written by Dean Cortez – The Cortez Files – One Night Stands Underground Seminar Notes (.pdf file open in new tab or right click and save)
Some guys think it’s OK to talk about sex with girls they’ve just met.
They steer the conversation towards sex, or make sexual comments in an attempt to be funny and ‘spice up’ the convo.
Other guys think that talking about sex implies they have a lot of experience in the bedroom, and that women will find this alluring.
Women are generally not interested or impressed by this type of talk.
More likely, they’ll think it’s crude and juvenile. (Besides, guys who hook up on a regular basis don’t need to talk about it.)
But you can get her mind on sensual, erotic thoughts.
The key is to do it in a clever, “invisible” way.
Check out the “invisible” way:
As the conversation progresses, test the waters to see how receptive she is to talking about sexual topics.
Scan the room:
Do you see any couples kissing or dirty dancing? If so, direct her attention to the couple and ask her with a smile, “What do you think about them doing that in a public place?”
If she has no problem with it-or even better, is intrigued by it-then the door is open for you to touch on other sexual topics.
Roll with it.
Here are a couple of ways to inject sexuality into the convo:
Ask her how she defines the word “sexy.” After she answers, tell her that in your opinion, sexiness isn’t about how someone looks on the surface – it’s about confidence and attitude.
Women like this answer.
Few women are totally confident in their appearance, but all women like to believe they have confidence and a good attitude.
Ask her what she thinks is the sexiest part of her body. After she answers, tell her that you did notice that that part of her, but there is another body part that you find most appealing.
This could be her eyes, teeth, hair, neck, her soft hands… there is no standard answer, though you should obviously not mention her breasts or butt.
This type of unexpected compliment should flatter her, and show her that you find beauty in women for many different reasons.
With a girl you’ve met that evening-let’s say at a nightclub or party- you’re better off taking her somewhere “neutral” before trying to bring her back to your place.
If possible, suggest going for some coffee, a bite to eat, or taking a walk outside. Adding this additional step creates the sense that the two of you are on a date, even if you just met an hour ago.
It also makes her feel more secure.
You’re not rushing things; you’re letting the evening unfold at its own pace.
Just remember that women know the deal just as well as you do. Don’t feel embarrassed about your intentions.
You’re both adults.
She knows that you’re a heterosexual man and your end goal lies in the bedroom. If you’ve laid the necessary groundwork, then she’ll be looking forward to it, too.
Perhaps not on the first night, but that door will eventually open.
She should feel that she has nothing to worry about with you.
For this reason, you should always take her back to your place instead of trying to go to hers. For a lot of women, bringing a guy home is a big deal. It means you know where she lives, and she might not be comfortable with that until she knows you better.
Or, she may have roommates or neighbors who might gossip about her bringing a guy home. She’s much more likely to accept an invitation to go to your place than she is to invite you to hers.
If you don’t live in a place that you can bring girls home to, then as a Mack you need to fix this ASAP. In order to be an effective Mack, you must have a home base where you can host women.
In the “Mi Casa, Mack Casa” chapter, we’ll break this down deep:
Go With the Flow…
If she’s up for a one-night stand, and things appear to be heading towards sex, most women still don’t want to feel like it’s going to be a one-night stand.
Women have been raised to believe that casual sex (sex with someone you’re not dating or married to) is wrong and slutty.
While a lot of women do it, they don’t always feel good about it afterwards.
One way to cushion this is to establish a “next meeting” during your conversation with her: the idea that regardless of how tonight winds up, the two of you will meet again soon.
She may be thinking the same thing you are-we’re probably going to have sex tonight, with no strings attached-but the idea of a “next meeting” may help put her mind at ease.
It’s easy to do.
During your chat, mention a movie that’s in theaters right now. Tell her a little bit about the movie, get her interested in it, then say “we’ll go see it one of these nights.”
Or, mention a restaurant you like and say “we should go sometime.”
Then move on to another subject. You’re not setting up an actual date; you’re planting the seed that you would be open to seeing her after tonight.
Some women might ask you point-blank, “Is this just going to be a one-night thing?”
Here’s a Tactical reply:
“A couple of years ago, my answer might have been yes. But that’s not what I’m into now. I think we might have something good here, and I’d like to go with it and see what happens.”
With this answer, again, you’re not making any promises.
You’re just going with the flow and encouraging her to do the same. It’s too early to know if this is going to turn into anything serious.
Everything is explained in more detail in the ONS Playbook, but basically, it’s necessary for you to go through this stage in order to make her feel comfortable enough to get sexual with you.
Women won’t “loosen up” and start feeling sexual attraction until you’ve built some comfort.
- One Night Stands Masterclass Video Presentation
- The Cortez Files – One Night Stands Underground Seminar Notes (.pdf)