Written by Dean Cortez – The Cortez Files – One Night Stands Underground Seminar Notes (.pdf file open in new tab or right click and save)
Women say it all the time: A sense of humor is a very desirable quality in a man.
This gives hope to a lot of guys who aren’t confident in their looks, but are quick with words. The problem is that for most “funny” guys, their sense of humor is a defense mechanism.
They’re insecure about trying to connect with women, so they keep things light and try to make a joke out of everything.
Don’t think that just because you’re making her laugh that you’re building any real connection.
The more she laughs, the less she is focusing on romantic possibilities.
There is also a BIG difference between humor and wit.
Humor is a HAND GRENADE; wit is a SNIPER RIFLE.
You want to demonstrate the LATTER quality instead of being the guy busting out joke after joke, or trying to be the life of the party.
It’s better to pick your moments to make witty comments and observations.
If you possess a sharp sense of wit, you’ve got a great advantage with women.
If not, the good news is that this is a skill that can be developed.
The best way to do so is to listen and learn from your favorite comedians.
Notice the topics they riff on and the way they deliver their punch lines. Usually, the more “straight” their delivery is, the funnier they are.
As you build yourself as a Mack and learn more about music, movies, books and current events, you will be able to make more clever observations about things.
Save the rapid-fire one-liners and raunchy stories for when you’re hanging with your buddies, and stay away from telling drawn-out jokes (i.e. “Three guys walk into a bar…”).
Just think of how uncomfortable it feels when someone you barely know starts telling a long-winded joke at a party: you’re all standing around waiting for the punch line, at which point you’re required to pretend it was hilarious, just to be polite.
(Besides, the funniest jokes are usually the dirty or politically incorrect ones, which may offend her.)
Also, when you’re around women, don’t tell jokes at the expense of others.
Don’t crack jokes about any of your buddies; not only is that being a lousy wingman (as has been DEEPLY explain here),
But it can create an awkward atmosphere.
And if you’ve got a self-deprecating sense of humor, keep it in check. Your goal is to build yourself up in her eyes, not knock yourself down.
Remember that while the occasional well-timed line can make you look sharp and clever, your primary focus should be listening, guiding the conversation and strengthening the bridge.
Really, one or two clever, funny comments are all it takes to show her you possess a sense of humor.
No need to keep the jokes coming one after the next. Minimal Encouragers
As you converse, you’re letting her do much of the talking.
Resist the urge to jump in and start telling her what you think. Instead, use Minimal Encouragers-a technique used by Hostage Negotiators-to keep things flowing.
Some examples of Minimal Encouragers are:
- “Wow, it seems like we’re really on the same page. Tell me more.”
- “I was thinking exactly the same thing.”
- “I feel the same way. We definitely have some things in common.”
- “That’s an interesting concept. Tell me how you came up with it.”
- “Is that right?”
- “How did that make you feel?”
Women deeply appreciate a man who listens and empathizes.
As she tells you more about herself, and you acknowledge and appreciate what she’s saying, it reinforces the bridge you’re building between the two of you.
Every time you agree with something she says, or tell her you feel “the same way,” you make her feel good and give her ego a little boost.
When you give her validation, she’s going to crave more of it. The more interested and thoughtful you seem, the more thoughtful she will be with her answers.
She’ll be trying to impress you, whereas normally it’s the guy who is in the position of talking (rather than listening) and trying to say all the right things.
Mood Killers and Articulate Avoidance:
There are certain topics which you should always avoid when talking to a female you’re trying to mack. These topics include:
- Communicable diseases
- Any type of violence towards women
Your goal as a Mack is to transport her into another reality-a “comfort zone” where the problems and evils of the world do not exist.
You want to keep the focus on fun, exciting subjects that stimulate romantic possibilities.
Advanced Mack Maneuver: “Polite Interruptions“
Once you’re in a groove and the conversation is flowing, inject a “polite interruption.” While she’s telling you a humorous story, give her a slight touch on her forearm-or if you’re sitting next to her, on the leg-and pay her a quick compliment.
It should feel spontaneous, but it’s actually a Tactic.
“I’m listening, I had just had to tell you-you have the cutest smile while you’re telling this story. I’m sorry, go on.”
If there’s a good vibe between you, this should cause her to smile and blush. The trick is to say it like you couldn’t help yourself. When she returns to telling her story, the chemistry between the two of you should be stronger.
That slight bit of body contact has just removed the invisible barrier between you. From this point forward you should be leaning in closer, narrowing the physical gap.
If you want more of the next, next level “advanced” stuff to be a MASTER ot closing women for one night stands…
- The Cortez Files – One Night Stands Underground Seminar Notes (.pdf file )
- Watch the One Night Stands Playbook video.