“Do you believe good looking guys have an unfair advantage with women because of how they look. Is it relationship management? Why does it seem like only good looking guys actually get beautiful women?”
…Written by Scot McKay.
My friend Joseph Matthews (aka ‘Thundercat’) and I were on the phone this afternoon talking about whether women want looks or personality more from guys, and how all of this relates to relationship management.
After all, those are the topics that have been at the forefront of our respective minds lately.
Now neither Joseph nor I are exactly the quintessential image of GQ-ness, so this became an interesting conversation very quickly.
Basically, a very small percentage of guys out there are the type that women will tackle each other for the chance to talk to.
That leaves the rest of us. And most of us tend to start from the baseline thought process of,
“Hey, there’s no way I can compete with THAT OTHER GUY. After all, he’s want every woman wants…and I’m NOT.”
Well wait a second.
How accurate are our perceptions, anyway?
If you think about it logically, who are WE to figure out what WOMEN want? My educated guess is that most of us take OUR OWN criteria for evaluating women and PROJECT it onto the female population.
That is, because we want a BEAUTIFUL woman, we assume women want, well, a physically attractive guy above all else.
Well…what if I told you it would take both hands to count the number of guys I know who look like models but who also can’t get a second date with a woman?
Obviously, that’s not “success with women” from a relationship management perspective.
So what gives? Let’s do some “chick whispering” here.
First of all, consider how the standard of physical beauty put forth by the media has caused many women to literally obsess over their looks-as if that’s where their entire worth lies.
Perhaps ironically, the more beautiful the woman, the more she feels compelled to live up to this “standard“. And since the “standard” is cruelly perfect, there are A LOT of particularly hot women out there with low self-esteem.
In walks the most handsome guy she has ever seen.
Her first thought could be, “I can’t compete with that.” If she actually ends up on a date with him, and he gets all the attention, she could literally not be able to handle it.
In short…lots of beautiful women cannot handle a man who is “prettier” than they are.
But there’s more.
Like some beautiful women feel that they have no need to develop their personalities to get a man, some guys who have been surrounded by the “halo effect” all their lives because of their looks often get lazy in their own right.
Either they are boring, downright selfish, and/or flat-out I/Js (Idiot/Jerks).
If you run through the file cards in your mind, you can picture some guys who are EXACTLY like what I’m describing here. Maybe a TON of them.
So where does this leave the HIGHEST QUALITY women?
You guessed it: With SOMEONE ELSE.
A man who is average in looks but who does the best with what he’s got is the guy who gets the overall highest quality women. This has been proven time and time again.
What do I mean?
Well, if you want to get high quality women, you do have to brush your teeth, keep your fingernails clean, get a sense of style, and mix in some Dolce & Gabbana cologne or something.
You do the best with what you’ve got.
THEN…you get what I call The Big Four right.
Not having been spoiled by the “prettyboy” treatment your whole life, you work on being a confident, masculine man who knows how to create a sense of comfort and security in a woman.
And you remain a man of character-doing what is right even when nobody is watching.
The end result?
Great women are literally mesmerized by you.
They get to literally revel in the fact that they are the vision of femininity and-yes-beauty by your side.
They know you appreciate that in them.
But more importantly, by maximizing your appearance (whatever that means for you) and getting The Big Four handled, you have accomplished something remarkable.
You have raised your level to that of the top one or two percent of all men in a woman’s eyes.
And remember, it’s often more challenging for a naturally good-looking man to get there than it is for a guy with more “average” looks.
So think of it.
Joseph Matthews may actually be right about this.
The guy who ISN’T “blessed” with model-quality looks may be MORE LIKELY to genuinely attract the highest echelon of women out there.
And moreover, he might have a better chance at solid long-term relationship success also.
Can you believe this?
And more importantly, can you ACT ON IT and become the guy who deserves what he wants?