Written by Scot McKay Deserve What You Want – X&Y Communications.
It was a Saturday morning back in August 2004.
One of the state qualifier BMX races was on, and as usual my friends and I were planning to blow off a little steam by playing in the dirt.
Unfortunately, my plans were about to change.
I made a wrong move somewhere in practice and heard a loud SNAP. Immediately I knew it was my left ankle.
Before I knew it, I was at the hospital. That’s where I got the news that an orthopedic surgeon had been called in and they were going to have to operate.
One day and several hot nurses to ease the pain later, I got in my truck and went home. Only now I had “tinkertoys” (in the form of plates and screws) in my left leg and a cast that wouldn’t be coming off for at least eight weeks.
Interestingly, having immersed myself in studying how to get better with women, it had only been maybe a week since I had gotten back online for the first time in quite a while.
A couple of months prior I had decided to take my profile down and really work on getting my game in order.
Now, with five days of “bed rest” ordered by the doctor, I would have time to email lots of women.
There was only one problem.
In my mind, I was “damaged goods“.
I mean, what woman in her right mind is going to want to hang out with some guy who is hobbling on crutches for the next two months?
So with my newly minted “limiting belief” tightly installed, I figured I had nothing to lose really as far as writing women was concerned.
After all, I wasn’t going to be meeting any for at least then next two friggin’ months, right?
I’ll never forget how dejected I felt. If you know me well by now, you know that I can’t sit still in one place long enough to watch a movie, let alone deal well with FIVE DAYS of “bed rest”.
Thankfully, I had two things going for me.
First, a laptop with wireless Internet. I had five days of forced, immobilized “vacation” to work on my Match.com skills.
Second, if you’ll note the date the incident happened, it was exactly four years ago. The Olympics were going on, and I’m a big fan. That meant there was ALWAYS something cool to watch on TV.
I’m eternally grateful to this day for both of those things. Otherwise, I’d have gone nuts.
But it only took half a day for me to get utterly bored with my existing profile and typical first emails. The wheels began to turn, and it occurred to me I had NOTHING TO LOSE by mixing stuff up a bit.
So I decided to put some theories I’d been reading about to the test.
I’d been hearing about how the “Mr. Nice Guy” thing doesn’t work. I’d also been reading about how a man has to be a sexual presence in order to naturally attract women.
For my entire life, however, I’d been conditioned to believe that women are offended or even oppressed by male behavior.
And I’d always thought that any kind of sexually forward behavior was an affront to women.
So one night, I took a deep breath. With my left leg raised on a pile of pillows, and Paul Hamm winning the men’s all-around gymnastics gold, I changed my profile.
And by changing my profile, I changed my life.
The first line became,
“Men are men, and women are women. That’s the way it should be and that’s the way I like it. If you agree, keep reading.”
The way I saw it, there was to be no more groveling. No more trying to please everyone. If women out there really wanted a man to be direct and, well, a little blunt frankly, I was about to find out for sure.
Next, I added a line that at the time I thought sure to scare away every single woman out there. Yet, as skeptical as I was, I had to try it.
The advice I had read was to be unafraid of showing my sexual side.
The new line read,
“I believe a woman should be kissed correctly and kissed often.”
My heart rate increased as I hit “save” on the profile.
Once approved (which still took about half a day back then), I started writing women.
I sorted out the feminine cuties and focused on them. After all, that’s who I tend to like.
The results floored me. Women were not only responding, but POWERFULLY.
One green-eyed cutie with light brown pixie-like hair and a sundress wrote me the one e-mail that forever cured me of my “Mr. Nice Guy” and “Mr. Neuter Guy” thinking.
The subject line was “WOW!” and in the message she wrote:
I’m so glad you wrote me.
I got to the line in your profile about “being kissed correctly and often” and my heart fluttered.
YES! I’m a girlie-girl through and through and I would LOVE to meet a real man for a change!
Within a half hour we were talking on the phone.
Two major limiting beliefs down, one to go. How would I tell her I was in a cast for two months?
The conversation was going great. She had a sweet, feminine voice and a kind heart. Finally, it was time to talk about meeting in person.
I told her,
“Look, there’s something you need to know. I’m just broke my leg and I’m in a cast for two months.”
She responded with the expected “OMG…are you okay?” kind of stuff, but what she said next is what shook me to the core.
“OK, so the five days of laying around the house must be so boring. Why don’t I take you out on Friday night-my treat? We can celebrate your being able to get out of the house again!”
“Um…what about the crutches and stuff?”, I said.
“What’s the big deal?”, she replied.
There wasn’t one to her. Only to me.
Friday night we went out and had a blast. Dinner turned into a jazz club, which turned to staying out all night.
At one point, contrary to my doctors orders, I ditched the crutches got around on my steel-reinforced left ankle as well as I could.
By the end of the night, she was jokingly calling me “Superman“. She loved how I didn’t let a temporary hindrance get in the way of having fun. And she loved being kissed correctly and often.
And what do you know–there was a second date. And a third. And my leg healed up okay anyway.
Kerri and I ended up hanging out for months and months. Ultimately, it was I who decided she wasn’t the right one for me long term.
Guys, it’s obvious from all of this that being a man, being unafraid of positioning yourself as a sexual presence and of course CONFIDENCE really, really do work like magic with women.
And whatever your hang-ups are, it’s likely there are women out there who DO NOT share them with you. So it’s time to heave them out the window. That much is evident.
But here’s the part that you may not have caught:
Relationship management starts THE MINUTE YOU MEET HER.
The tone you set from the first time you meet her is going to form her image of you as a man. From there, you’re either headed towards holding her attraction for as long as you’d like or creating doubt in her mind that perpetuates a “revolving door” of women in your life.
This means having to start from scratch time and again, only to have a woman you’ve really started to like disappear into thin air…again.
The truth is that women FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.
And I’m convinced that you can be a man who not only creates attraction but HOLDS IT for as long as you like.
YOU can welcome women to your reality instead of being led around by the nose like a sitcom character.
The complete relationship management system from X & Y Communications ( Scot McKay ) can be found here: The Leading Man – Never Be At a Loss to What to Say to a Woman Again – Build relationships with women with all of your “man-tools.” If you’ve struggled maintaining attraction and keep the relationship alive, The Leading Man will teach you how to lead your life to allow better relationships with women into your life. You can visit his flagship homepage at X and Y Communication – Deserve What You Want.
You can read more great advice on relationship management, attraction, and limited beliefs from Scot McKay here at DiaLteG TM by going here –> Scot McKay