Why Women Flake And Exactly What To Do Plus Three Tips of Interest

Written by Marni Kinrys, creator of Become A Man Women Want.

Why do women flake on plans?

Have you ever made plans with a women and then 30 minutes before meeting she sends you a text saying,

"Totally forgot. I have plans to meet my grandmother and can't make it"


"Seems work has called me in last minute. Can we reschedule?"

I am pretty sure you have experienced this at least once in your life.

I can tell you for certain that this woman did not just "remember" she had plans. She is flaking.

She is a female flake.

When a woman likes a man there is no way she would cancel plans on him for something else. AND if she does cancel she will make certain they have concrete plans in the future.

How do I know?

I know because I have done this to men several times. So have each of my Wing Girls and so have each of my female friends.

So the question is why do women do this?

Unbeknown to them, women do this because they are selfish. To avoid their own discomfort they will be polite and accept an invite with absolutely no plans of ever following through.

I do want to add in, that this is not malicious behavior from women. It is in no way planned or meant to be cruel. Women are NOT trying to embarrass you or be mean.

It is simply done to avoid an awkward situation for her.

It is easier to say yes to an invite or give out a phone number than to say NO. At least that is what most women feel and what felt in the past.

They would much rather avoid the phone or flake on a date rather than being rude and saying NO to your face.

Again, this is selfish behavior that is based in female insecurity. Women don't realize how hurtful these actions are to another person.

They don't realize the frustration, annoyance and hurt men experience when they have a woman flake on them.

They think they have avoided being mean and rude when in fact their actions were actually more cruel.

Now, I am going to try to my best to teach the women of the world to be honest and say what they mean but that is going to take some time.

In the mean time I can provide you with tips on how to protect yourself against the flakes!

These tips will help you ensure you don't waste time, money and energy on women that are not into you.

Tip #1 - Don't Get Angry:

When a woman texts you 15 minutes before your date that she "forgot" she has another obligation understand that this means she is not into you.

Instead of being angry or hurt about her flaking, feel sorry for her that she was not mature enough to be honest.

This will create a calmness in you because you will realize that this is a type of woman that is not worthy of being with you.

A woman who cannot speak the truth is not worthy of your attention nor is she mature enough to handle you.

If you like you can express back your disappointment in a mature manner that lets her know you will not accept this behavior.

Again, do not be a dick but maturely express that this behavior of flaking is not cool.

For example write something like,

"Totally understand that things can slip the mind. In the future it would be best to check your schedule so that you aware of your commitments. My time is very valuable to me and I hope you will respect that in the future. No hard feelings. Have fun at your event!"

It's firm, shows you have respect for yourself and is also soft at the end to let her know you are still safe.

Hopefully she will learn that her behavior was not cool and either correct it with you OR correct it in the future.

Either way a good deed has come out of the situation.

Tip #2 - Don't Leave The House Before Confirming:

To save yourself a drive and possible parking fee text her before you leave your home about an hour before you are set to meet.


"Running about 10 minutes late. Hope that is still cool?"

This text gives her the time to take her out if she wants it.

Truth is if a woman is going to flake she is going to flake but at least with this move you can save yourself time, money and energy.

Tip #3 - Learn To Spot Signs Of Interest:

The possible flake date can be avoided by being armed with knowing what it looks like when a woman is interested in you.

I must add that these are not fool signs to look for because circumstance can play a role in many interactions.

For example, sobering up.

Some women will only be very available to you for a single night. Meaning potential for a one night stand but no date a week later.

More examples  are for personal reasons:

  • She may be on the rocks with an ex.
  • She may be super stressed in her own life.
  • She may be getting over a break up.
  • She may have just been up for flirting that evening.

So many reasons exist as to why her feelings faded after an evening.

Another example is meeting someone else.

Attractive, quality women may meet someone else that they are more interested in. Therefore they will now put their energy into this new guy.

The signs to look for that she is interested your sexually or for dating are:

  • Making eye contact
  • Ignoring her friends even if it is a girls night.
  • Slightly touching you ( too much touch is a sign of extreme comfort and possible future friendship )
  • Engagement in conversation.
  • Twirling her hair.
  • Puckering her lips.
  • Going to the bathroom all touched up and looking fresh.

Once you ask for the number listen for the pause.

The awkward pause where she debates whether or not to give you a real number or fake number. Most women who want you to call, if they give you their number have been waiting for this question to come out of your mouth.

Meaning there should be no pause.

A pause usually translates into possible flake.

These tips will assist you with determining whether or not a woman will flake on you and will also assist you when you are dealing with a flake.

The important thing to remember is that when a woman is a flake it is a reflection on her. It shows that she is not confident enough in herself to give a real honest answer and is scared to look poorly in someones eyes.

I have learned  I come in contact with the importance of being upfront and honest.

Again, I will do my part to stop this from happening and you can do your part to stop it from happening to you!

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