The Fearless Approach To Meeting Women With No Pressure To Perform

Ionce performed "Fearless" by Pink Floyd on a 12-string guitar that was a beast. It would wreck your fingers and test your strength to its painful and often cramping limit.

Sure I was always a little nervous but the song was relatively easy to play and I was quite confident I could pull it off every time.

The venue was small as there was only about a hundred people to watch and listen. Just one mic for my voice and one for the guitar.

The place was cozy but well lit. It was very different than playing in some dark noisy bar where you can get away with so much more.

The people were there to listen. They weren't drunk.

So the pressure was on thick.

However as a seasoned musician it was close to routine. Simple as it could be... Get up and play three songs and then make room for the next act.

I did it for the experience AND for the crowd. No matter how large or small the venue was, sharing my gift was an emotional experience I loved doing. After all I didn't practice for hours just to hear myself.

One line from the song meant a lot to me,

Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd... smiling."

Azlyrics - Fearless by Pink Floyd

Having the courage to do what I did didn't seem to come easy to many but for some strange reason I lived and thrived off those nervous feelings and sometimes high intense filled moments. It wasn't even for the attention because off-stage I was shy and slightly introverted. I didn't like to be noticed. It creeped me out and made me feel weird and very uncomfortable.

The fear of screwing up, the sweaty nervous palms, the fear of begin booed on stage, and the absolute fear of looking like an "idiot" I'm sure stopped many people from furthering their musical career. But not me it encouraged me and did scare me at all.

So how is it one man such as myself be fearless performing in public yet struggle so desperately for so long when it came time to approach a woman?

In music - almost everything was pre-programmed into my act. I knew what to do, what to sing, and what to play. I had a definite beginning and a pre-selected ending. It was easy to practice in private I got it right.

The strange part was, no matter how much I worked on a song - I was bound to screw up something or miss a note in a performance. Forget a word or two. I've even been known to complete miss a whole verse. (Memorizing lyrics was not my thing.)

Yet I was trained almost from birth to keep going.

The show must go on!

I recall playing lead snare in high school for the marching band and one holiday the harness fell apart piece by piece until I was left banging with my left hand and hold the snare with my other hand. It was painful but I still kept going all the way until the end.

Nothing and I mean nothing stopped me.

Another time I was propped up three risers high and just at the moment where I had to do the sort of drum solo fill from "Purple Rain" (mind you the best part of the song for a drummer) I leaned back and down I went; fell over backwards off the risers on to what luckily was a soft grass landing.

But I still managed to jump back up, hit a couple of drums and keep time for the rest of the band.

Anyways... so I was thinking once...

Why can't you "sort-of" pre-program this whole approaching women thing?

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This is page three from Chapter Eleven: Approaching Women - Eliminating Approach Anxiety & Starting Conversations.

What if you knew exactly how to start a conversation with any woman, anytime, anywhere?

What if you knew, even if you screwed up a few words, no woman in her right mind would suddenly and publicly reject you - just because you approached her?

What if you could "fearlessly" face the crowds of women you see everyday, use an "idiot-proof" system like I did, and still smile?

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The article is posted in these Categories: Interactions – Communication to Build Comfort, Connection & Attraction, Meeting – Approaching – Opening – Starting Conversations – No fears

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