Hey Pete, I need some advice from you..
Two years ago, I has the courage to asked a girl out whom I like and celebrated her birthday with her one on one.. after dropping her home, she texted me saying she she’s appreciative of the things I’ve done for her.. but she continues saying she treats me only as a good friend.. I was feeling miserable from then on and have not contacted her since.. partly due to the fact that she ‘rejected’ me and she seems to be going out with some other guys. 2 years have since passed and she communicated with me recently for some matters. I took this opportunity and asked her out, which she agreed. So we spent the evening together walking around, admiring the night scene and after dinner, I dropped her home. But the time round she did not text me anything ‘clarification’ kinda SMS. I’m thinking the reason why she could’ve spent time with me was because she knew my birthday was tomorrow and it wouldn’t be nice to have rejected me.A few days have passed and I asked her out for a movie. It took her awhile to reply me saying as a birthday treat, ok. Is his a very clear sign that she still see me only as a friend and indirectly hinting to me not to have any false hopes? I really want to have a relationship with this girl cause I really like her a lot. I feel like asking her out but I don’t know what’s on her mind. Thanks Pete
I must get this off my chest because I’m tired of hearing guys say a woman has “rejected” them.
Women need to feel “attraction” with you before there’s any chance of something else happening.
She did not “reject” you, she just wasn’t feeling attracted to you.
There’s a difference and if you want to understand women you must learn that difference.
It can change your entire mindset in ALL your situations and interactions with women.
You’re situation makes perfect sense.
She contacted you for “some matters.”
BUT if you had taken the last two years and learned how to create attraction in all women she might have experienced something different.
And she might have started acting differently around you.
Okay so you want a relationship with her… You REALLY like her.
You want to ask her out but you’re waiting for her to tell you what’s on her mind.
I’m sorry to say that’s a recipe for a long time engagement in the friends zone because there’s something missing – attraction.
Women rarely say exactly what’s on their mind over this kind of stuff to the guy who personally involved in it.
If you’re constantly looking for clues from her or waiting for some signal you’re missing the point of attraction.
My advice to you is to immediately stop looking for her to give you the “ask me out” sign and focus on how women act when they are feeling attraction.
Don’t try to decipher her clues and learn to make them happen and you’ll give yourself more than just a chance.
If you REALLY like her than learn to give her that emotional high she’s searching for.
Spend some of your valuable time learning what triggers it and spend even more time developing the personality traits women look for to experience real attraction.
Stop doing things women appreciate and start doing things women respect.
Challenge her in ways few man can.
Appreciate her for more than a “great girl you would like a relationship with” and expect HER to show you something more than just being a “nice” person.
Courtship is a process. Escalation from meeting to intimacy has a definite pattern.
I suggest you download and read this clever report to help you learn about escalation –> The Shark Fin Soup Report – How To Go ALL the Way With Women.
It’s unfortunate too many men don’t understand how it all works because they can certainly use that knowledge to their advantage.
You have to learn how and why it works for women.
What you’re doing is reversing it all which is obviously leaving you confused.
This is how a guy gets stuck in the friends zone.
Sees her. Feels attracted to her. Gets to know her. Starts liking him more. Begins to feel she’s relationship material. Wonders if she likes him back or in the same way. Connects on a deeper level with her…
Then either asks her out or tells her how he feels or both.
But what a woman experiences with the guys she ends up in a relationship with is almost completely the opposite.
You get to know each other. She starts thinking about you. Typically has more questions than answers.
THEN she begins feels attracted.
She seeks a deeper connection, a comfort in who you are, and intimacy normally happens at this stage whether it’s physical or purely mental… more thinking.
She will attempt to qualify herself to the man she desires which can include accepting dates or making herself more available to him.
Then if all is going well she’ll begin to think about more what a relationship would be like with him. She’ll either end up in relationship or continue to casually date to “see what happens.”
If in any case you’re questioning a woman’s actions AND you’ll followed the path I listed above ( for men ) – she already only sees you as a friend.
So you’ve received some bad news from me today.
It’s cool because I know you can handle it.
But I’m more than confident you’re taking away an education which can change how women interact with you.
If you start putting it into practice immediately.
I’ve broken it down for you quickly but it’s YOUR responsibility to get the exact help you need.
And remember it’s not enough to just know the steps but to practice them and constantly tweak them until they are naturally a part of you.
Thanks for writing Eric and I wish you the best of luck. You can leave any follow-up questions or comments below.
I know many of you would do ANYTHING to turn that female friend of yours into lover and then a girlfriend. Make sure you read through my Eliminate The Friends Zone Pages and definitely pick this up immediately so you can start learning how to create attraction and not just another friend. Learn 8 Powerful Tips – Friends Into Lovers With NO Games.