REMEMBER: The very first moment ANY woman sets her eyes on you is your ONE chance to leave her wanting more.
Looks and appearance do matter when it comes to women noticing you. Just probably not in the same way that it feels to you.
My younger days I thought looks meant everything – how you had to be good-looking to get a girlfriend. Every time I went out I made sure I looked as perfect as I could.
But I was doing it for the wrong reasons because a vast majority of women see value. If you maintain whatever you got then you must care about yourself. Granted that’s not always true but you can’t blame women from connecting the two – Care about how you look = High Value of yourself.
Now if I was “dressing up” when I went out for myself then that would be something different. Yet I wasn’t doing that.
Eventually I made the connection how I was basing how attracted a girl would be to me, based on the same physical type of attraction I felt. Which I now believe is just not true. I explain it all in detail at (dialteg.org) Feel free to check it out…
I never left the house without making sure my hair was perfect, my breath was golden, my clothes were ironed, down to the last detail I needed to look perfect…
I’ve chosen this “category” or “guide” first because, and I know it’s obvious, you have leave your house or apartment to engage with women. Whether you go out to meet women, or if you’re just doing anything you like doing, I’m sure you want to give yourself the best possible opportunity to make something more happen.
The biggest and most common tip is – Take care of the details and you will make a good first impression.
I understand you’re not always going to look your best or leave all dressed up and I’m going to say, it’s okay. If you don’t dwell on it too much it probably won’t be a big deal to her either. In fact if you can pull off a great conversation with a woman while you’re not looking or feeling 100% you’ll make an even greater impression on her…Because you won’t come across as too needy.
Before you pick a particular area to explore I want to give you some of my personal pointers, (more of those details) and a little extra so no matter where you are or what you’re doing you’ll be conscious (or present) enough to focus better. This includes body, voice, and a meticulous appearance.
These were taken from my “Get a Hot Girlfriends Steps” and reworked from this page : Refine Your Look, Style – How To Take Care Of The Details Women Notice
A good “clean-cut” works best and make sure a woman matches your face up. I’ve found women prefer a clean-shaven face but if you insist on facial hair – give it a defined shape which matches your bone structure. Just trimming a beard doesn’t work. It must match the unique features on your face.
Of course you don’t want to over do it. Very large jaws might want to omit facial hair. If you don’t have much of a chin, build it up with a goatee.
Trimmed and clean. No jagged edges and fairly short. If you’re having a problem with color and feel take a look at your diet and lifestyle. Nails are a good indicator of your health. If there’s serious problem there please have it checked out by a specialist.
Soft, smooth, and shaved. Find a manly lotion though – no girlie stuff. Personally I use a coconut -lime butter right after a shower. I Rub it in from the bottom up while my skin is still moist. I learned that trick from a “stripper” who needed to always have soft skin.
Trust me – you get close enough to a woman to even brush up against her – she’ll notice and probably get a little jealous over it. It use to piss off one girlfriend of mine on how soft my skin was – even at my age. I didn’t tease her on it because that’s just not cool to do (often) but it was awesome because she was always willing to get a little closer if you know what I mean.
Layered and loose fit works best..at least that’s what I believe. Some women have certain look they like but don’t let that stop you from developing your own. She’ll appreciate you more for not conforming just to attract her. There’s that non-neediness thing again so use it to your advantage when you can.
Learn to use color correctly and you can make a huge impact. For some great tips pay attention to how guys are dressed in popular sitcoms. Even if they’re the geekiest guys, remember – they’re NOT dressing themselves. Fashion consultants often pick out every last detail for them personally.
You don’t need to go all “gq” here. Be sensible because you’re going to be wearing this stuff. A lot of it depends on your lifestyle.
Mine’s laid-back – light blues, deep reds, white and black with some kind of imagery. I like the “imagery” because I don’t have any tattoos and it kind of makes it look like I might have some. Yes I know but I like to show a little edge – since I’m such a “nice” guy. Haha!
Whatever your style is make sure your shoes match. Maintain their shape and keep them clean and up to date. Dirty old sneakers don’t work so get rid of them unless you using them to do the lawn. A good tip here is to have several pairs so you can keep your “going out” shoes in great shape.
Look for something different that doesn’t stand out too much. If you over do it you’ll come across as “trying” to be just like everyone else. Unless it’s your type your shoes are not there to get her to notice you. I believe the whole key is to always make sure they are well-taken care of and don’t draw her attention.
When you’re out you want women to pay attention to you eyes, face, and lips – not staring at your shoes too much. (Of course some women will actually use it as an excuse to check out your package. No lie.)
Bracelets, watches, necklaces, and even some tattoos work great. Stay away from being loud and obnoxious with them. I think it’s best to consider your “accessorizing,” (yeah I said that) as “background material,” something to catch her eye, or perhaps even a conversation starter. Their purpose is usually to offset something you’re wearing. It’s aprt of that “clean-cut” look I’ve found so many women appreciate when a guy does it right.
If you have got some cool tattoos makes sure you’re not hiding them or talking about them. Let her mention them first.
Glasses or Contacts
Switch it up and see what works better. If you’ve always worn contacts try out some modern glasses. If you’re always hiding behind glasses try out some contacts. Women notice eyes quickly. No matter what color they are I guarantee there are groups of women who are attracted to them. (They show your soul and inner-masculinity.)
Sure women say they prefer darker eyes but don’t get down because they’re not. If some woman ever refuses you based solely on the color of your eyes – Well I’m not going to tell you what to do but I’d be happy to not get involved with her. And that’s the truth!
These guys may take men’s fashion (or what I’ve covered so far) to the extreme but there’s some great pictures to give you an idea of the whole package. Fashionbeans Try to keep it all in mind the next time you go shopping for clothes.
I‘ve included more than just what you’re wearing. Use them all to make a difference in getting women to stand up and take notice when you’re out. No matter where you are.
Work out a little or maintain some sort of safe physical exercise routine. You don’t have to be all “buffed” up.
An exercise routine benefits you all across the board: More energy. Higher feelings of self-worth and confidence. Better breathing. Oh and it won’t make you last forever in bed but it will assure you don’t tire out quickly so both of you can enjoy it more.
Work out properly and you’ll actually become a more positive person. That’s a proven fact.
Your Body Language.
Steady. Smooth. Quiet movements. Very open and relaxed. No fidgeting or jerky walks. Maintain your own pace. Every move you make must serve a purpose and it must feel like you’re doing everything with reason. So if there’s no reason – don’t do it.
That’s the simplest piece of advice I can give you on your body language. Obviously there’s much more and you’ll find a whole page dedicated on it so you can avoid some common mistakes. (I’ll include it here when it’s entirely done. In the meantime you can look at my much older page on it – Body Language IS Communication )
You might not be ready to fully indulge yourself with it so keep in mind the tips above – they’ll help you out regardless.
Women love a smile on a guy for more reasons than you can ever imagine. This does mean getting a good dentist you like. I had one I hated and it really only hurt me. Get to know him. Some of them are pretty cool.
Keep your teeth naturally white and not enough to lead the way through a cold dark night. (Try not to overdo the whitening.)
Relaxing your facial muscles and lips often. Practice a nice smile at home. I know it feels weird but what the hell if no one else is watching but you- I promise I won’t tell anyone. Sure your friends will laugh at you – mine did – but screw them I’m sure you got something on them anyways.
Avoid the “fake smile” no matter how self-conscious you might feel about it. My personal opinion is if it’s not comfortable don’t do it. Trying to hide it, fake it, or being embarrassed about it is something you want to avoid at all costs.
Take it from a guy who was majorly self-conscious about it. I have a huge gap between my front two teeth and I seriously needed to figure out a way to get past it. But once I did women actually started to compliment me on my smile. That was real cool. Probably because it was natural and I didn’t try to hide it.
I use a baking soda toothpaste. I get at least two cleanings a year. I also use an electric toothbrush, (kicks ass but only in the shower or else my clothes get ruined) Proxabrush, dental floss, and brush my tongue a few times a day. I prepare by always having gum or some breath freshener with me at all times. Healthy amount of saliva typically lad to healthier looking teeth.
Your Vocal Inflections.
You can literally seduce a woman with your words and how you talk. Women respond highly to your “aural” attractiveness. You want a slightly deep voice. Slow it down and use your words sparingly. Use the inflections to accentuate a story or sentence so it’s sounds more incredible than it sometimes is. Breathe deep and pause often at the right time so it leads her in a little.
Never let you or the person you’re talking with rush you to the end of any sentence.
Learn to enunciate clearly but not like you’re on stage acting. That’s usually too much.
Don’t be a “loud Howard” but make sure you can be heard. Mumbling is never attractive at all but worse it doesn’t demand her attention confidently.
Again as I mentioned above you can watch the guys on sitcoms who are portrayed as being good with women. Notice the soft eye contact when they’re talking to a woman and how they’re enunciation is perfect. (Tip: Don’t over do the enunciation. Keep it real.)
The list below contains some “deeper” issues or thoughts on appearance but it also contains some more superficial areas to explore.
Whichever you choose I do hope you find exactly what you’re looking for:
Your Looks DO Matter – So What Are You Going To Do About It?
Tips For Getting And Keeping The Body Women Love
How To Shop For New Clothes That Allow Your Sexiness to Come Through
Distraction With A New Hair Cut, Is That Possible? Refining Your Look
What Makes An Average Looking Guy Instantly Become “Hot”?
But I’m ‘Average,’ How Can I Possibly Deserve The Partner Of My Dreams?
Do Only Good Looking Guys Get Women?
Too Ugly? Too Short? Here’s How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths
How To Get Girls To Notice You – Your Words, Action, and Appearance
Can Golfers Attract Women Better Than Most? Confidence In Motion
What Parts Of A Man’s Body Instinctively Attracts Women?
So You’re A Short Guy and Not Attracting Confident Women You Want, I Was Until Learned…
If Beauty Is Skin Deep Why Do You Feel Ugly inside?
Do You Feel Your Looks Are Holding You Back From Women?
The “nice guy” approach on how to make better than average First Impressions by Looking Good – When you present yourself in any way to other people you only need to show modest self-worth.
Since that can vary from culture to culture and personality to personality how much you value yourself is strengthened by your attention to details.
My personal preference or belief is having a “clean-cut” look works the best for many reasons:
Women subconsciously assume (and some conscious) certain important details about you based on sight. Imagine the “details” you learned out above represent how well you take care of yourself. And if she believes you can take care of yourself she’ll be more likely to assume you have things handled – and possibly can handle her.
“Clean-cut” means defined but not blatant lines. I tend to believe other see (or assume) you are a well defined person based on your first appearance. Imagine two people, one dressed sloppily and one dressed “cleanly. Which one would you guess has their life together.
The nice guy approach doesn’t have you standing out or dressing in a way which does not represent who you are.
I know it’s “typical” advice and there’s nothing too unique about it but that’s because seems to work well…
Care or value yourself enough so you feel your best on any given day. You don’t have to dress for success or any of that.
All I can ask is that you find a way to maintain the details of your appearance just enough so that it makes you feel better and it keeps you in a positive and present mood – That’s it. The rest is only limited to your discretion and no one else.