The interview I did with my good friend DeAnna was done and after the books were closed we ended up getting into a discussion about men cuddling…
It’s no secret that women love to cuddle and she is no exception.
But what about friends cuddling?
Well I can tell you this… I don’t hang out with a “guy friend” and end up spooning over a discussion of our sex lives.
It just doesn’t happen.
Here is my take on this “cuddlig” thing…
A man will share a bed with a woman when it is necessary but he will not cuddle with an attractive woman unless:
He is terrible with women and always in the friends zone with them.
He is secretly in love with her and getting closer to her means he will put himself in any position where sex might just accidentally happen.
DeAnna didn’t disagree and was quite curious.
It seemed like she didn’t know something which I believed was a given. A Fact about men and women.
As if every man she cuddled with was there to get warmth and to “hang out.”
Here’s the difference:
- REAL or at least intimately friendly men DO cuddle when they are with their lover.
- Nice guys cuddle when they wish to MAKE a woman their lover and don’t know what or how to do it.
I HAVE shared a bed with a woman many times before and just so those women know, since I don’t do the nice guy “manipulation” any more, I wanted each one of them so badly I would give up anything including my self-respect just to put myself close to them…
While at the same time hoping something “else” would happen.
Some do believe that friends makes the best lovers but as far as I’m concerned only two kinds of people believe that…
Women and Wussies.
How do I know that?
Well first of all a woman raised me.
The only male role model in my life that was good with women was my brother. It’s no surprise he was much too concerned with getting laid and treating me like a pain in the ass little brother than teaching me how he did it.
I turned into part wussy and part woman. The exact percentage is not very clear.
Yet being an optimistic person and I would hate to have a bunch of good guys out there thinking how they feel my pain and and that it was a bad thing.
Because it was not.
You see the wussy part of me learned a ton from my experiences and it took me a long time to finally see the advantages…
1. How to talk to a hot woman with absolutely no fear.
It’s easy to talk to a girl if you are one.
I’ve had many “deep” conversations where there was no nervousness involved with approaching them or just starting a conversation.
Of course I didn’t know my conversations were putting me in the friends zone just left to cuddle. I thought we were really connecting.
The disadvantage is quite clear and that’s not being able to create or amplify a woman’s attraction just through conversation. Confusing connection with chemistry and attraction.
2. How to listen to a woman speak.
Reading between her lines.
Her “secret” innuendos.
All those clues women love to give out hoping we’ll get the hint. The ones where, if we miss too many during we end up in the friend zone.
Listening to women this way is a HUGE Advantage over other guys who may not be very good at it.
The disadvantage is again, getting sucked into just being friends because we’re too much of a listener and less of an “interaction.”
We become her “go to guy” when she’s having problem with the men she DOES sleep with.
Becoming a non-sexual friend as she spouts out without worry every last detail of her terrible experiences with the guys she has sex with.
So do “real” men cuddle with their friends
If you’re still asking this question I’ll assume you’re a woman… Nice to meet you. 😀
You may be wondering how he feels about you because he cuddled with you.
You may even be attracted to him and hoping he feels the same way but for some reason he won’t make a move on you.
You put out all the signals you can but they continue to go over his head.
My gut tells me that to find the truth out here… You must make the first move.
Hell you got him in bed… You’re not going to get any closer or have a better opportunity to do it.
If your subtle hints are not working and you assume he is not attracted to you, he’s NOT going to change anytime soon.
If you’re spooning then reach back for his hand, make sure you notice where it is, grab it and wrap it around you.
That’s all. Just hold his hand softly. Don’t squeeze. That can feel like a “I need comfort” move.
After you’ve held his hand for a short time, turn and lay on your back. Then turn your head to face his. Look at him like you want a kiss.
From here things will either go one way or another.
Men DO cuddle with their lovers and nice guys DO cuddle with women they wish to BE their lover.
This may be all generally spoken and some of us can easily fall outside those lines, especially in other social environments outside my reach but…
As a guidleine to follow I believe many of us will find the truth underneath the covers. 😉