29. You called or contacted her way too much.
It’s no coincidence this reason came right after the last one. ( 28. You showed no interest in her at all. )
I have found if you’re in the friends zone a lot you have a deep desire to always be with the one you’re in love with.
Men and women both experience this need.
The problem is, at the beginning of your interaction this immediately says you’re looking for a relationship.
You might think that’s a good thing because you do in fact want a relationship but remember – women are always looking for the bigger picture. She could easily mistake this as being too needy and she assumes it will be much worse when she’s your girlfriend.
No one wants to feel trapped or controlled especially by the needy actions of another.
Okay let’s assume you are looking for a relationship and you believe she would be perfect.
How are you going to handle this problem?
What is the solution without having to play games or follow the stupid 3 day rule book we all have heard of?
You’re going to get these answers as we go along. They are too big to get into right now.
If you want to quickest tip I can give you – instead of calling her when you feel like calling her, call her when it’s almost inconvenient to you.
That way you’ll have no choice to keep it short.
Never call or text her if you don’t get a response. Forget about it.
Yes even if you don’t hear from her in two weeks or a month. You call or text. She responds. Then you respond. No exceptions.
I want you to also begin to think about why you feel the need to constantly get in touch with her.
Are you worried she might find someone else?
Are you worried she will forget about you?
Do you have a self-control problem in other parts of your life?
Those are the exact problems I had and it’s okay to admit it. Because we can now go to work on them and change them from the inside out.
You can find some quick tips here to help you out with this problem:
30. She assumed you’re a player.
Why would a woman ever assume a guy was playing her when he’s really just a nice guy with good intentions?
Mostly because SHE has issues you’re not going to solve for her.
Maybe she puts every guy in that category until he proves he’s different but by that time they or you are already in the friends zone.
Seems like a never-ending circle. As if there’s no way to break the cycle but there is.
First of all you can forget about trying to reassure her you’re not who she thinks you are.
That’s actually what she wants to rule you out as a dating option anyways.
Secondly a woman like this normally has deep insecurity issues or has been played many times. If you’re sensing she’s bitter than this might be why.
Now how about playing into her insecurity… How about giving her exactly what she expects so she’ll see how absurd her thinking is…
No I’m not going to ask you to “play her” and I know that’s not what you want.
I have another solution.
Just be on time.
Be unbreakable and unshakable around her.
Don’t be afraid to flirt with other women when you’re with as long as it’s nothing serious.
Don’t dig too deep into her feelings too early on.
Women like this are afraid that if they tell you secrets you’re going to use them against her.
Share with her your own personal feelings but please don’t turn into a wussy. Remember if you share a secret with her you’re trusting her with something she can use against you.
She’s looking to trust you but without you constantly trying to tell her she can trust you.
That doesn’t work.
Think about what trust really is.
I’ve already mentioned them above and now I’ll go a little deeper.
- Being on time.
- Being reliable.
- Not letting her emotions affect your mood.
- Sharing with others something personal.
- Inspiring confidence through positive reinforcement when something goes wrong.
- It means not acting differently just because she’s there.
- Not giving people any reason to believe you are two-faced.
Just always remember this is a trust issue for her and not you. Which means you can not fix her problem.
You can not mentally change her mind. But you can ease her stress by keeping a strong character always and not acting flaky.
31. Your touch was creepy.
If you were very unsure about how and when to touch her she may feel like it was creepy.
If you tried to accidentally touch her she may also have felt a “creepy” touch.
Most men in the friends zone don’t mean to act creepy towards her but because of a lack of experience with women they are hesitant about touching a woman.
They treat her as if she’s going to break or worse yet refuse to touch her in any way for fear it will be mistaken as a come on.
Then when the time arrives to kiss her or make a move to avoid being seen as a friend that uneasiness is transferred to her as creepy.
You must be able to break down the touch barrier early on with any woman.
Whether you want to date her or not.
Women like it when a guy is comfortable enough to do this. They know it transfers over to a better sexual experience and even show you’re not afraid to love someone close.
The years I spent in the friends zone came along with a great fear in being intimate with a woman and it all started with a lack of being able to break the force field people have around them.
If you want to break this mistake you’re going to be able to eliminate the “creepy” touch thing.
I can give you a few quick tips to get you started.
Start with a simple medium hand shake always. When you meet someone shake their hand. Develop a slightly unique way of doing it and say their name as you are doing it.
Learn when friendly hugging is allowable and start doing it more often until it feels natural.
With men keep your hands up high on the back. With women hug her just above the small of her back. As your connection grows move your hands directly to the small of her back.
Imagine if she was to fall over or dance, you can balance her with just an open palm. That is where you hug women to show them you’re a sexually aware man.
Learn to play games with women that require your hands to touch like thumb wars or pulling out your hands before she slaps them.
Also any game in which you have to constantly hand her something.
Don’t get all touchy there.
Remember we’re just lowering your fears in this area.
32. You kissed her once and she felt nothing.
This is actually not as big as a problem as it may seem.
You may have kissed her too early or failed to create enough attraction.
She may even have had problems you don’t know about which has nothing to do with you.
Sometimes she might think SHE had bad breath or her lips were too dry.
There could be any number of reasons you’re not aware of all consisting of her being too stuck inside her own head.
The good news about this reason is that it’s probably not too late.
You just have to step back and try again later after creating a little sexual chemistry.
She may have put you in the friends zone for this but at least you tried which means more to her than anything else.
You can find a ton of information on kissing in this post: How I Kiss with Passion – Everyone Should Learn How To Kiss.