The man destined for the Friend’s Zone acts in a way which inevitably leads him to an alternative lifestyle in which he downplays his own masculinity because he feels like a victim to a woman’s attraction.
Yes that’s right… a victim to her attraction.
I knew without a doubt that women did not feel sexually attracted to me and so I made myself a victim. I had what is known as a “victim mentality.”
Victims are not normally attractive to other people.
No one feels sexually attracted to a victim in normal everyday circumstances.
When one person feels the need to help someone who is injured empathy and/or Sympathy will lessen the feelings of attraction.
Since we’re dealing with an internal victim mindset not caused by something from which we have no control of…
We CAN escape this mindset by following a few simple guidelines. Gaining new beliefs or reasoning it out objectively the circumstances we’re in or put ourselves in.
These are thing I’ve learned to do which helped enormously with my relations or interactions with women so I’m going to suggest you do the same. ( By the way they will also help many areas of your life outside of women. )
NUMBER 1. Stop blaming women.
When you catch yourself blaming women immediately put yourself in her shoes.
This will help you to stop projecting your issues, problems, or past experiences on to her.
Don’t worry about being right just always try to see things from HER perspective.
Here are a few examples:
- She refused my kiss -> Maybe she thought she had bad breath.
- She refused my offer of a date -> Maybe she feels uncomfortable on dates or just got out of a really bad relationship.
- She pushed me away when I tried to approach her -> Maybe she gets nervous around people.
This concept is simple to understand but it takes a little time to carry out but you must give it a chance if you ever want to step out of this victim mentality.
A friend of mine thinks everybody hates him. He thinks everyone is out to get him. He takes everything personal. Even when he is shopping for food it seems like everyone is miserable and no one smiles at him.
That’s because he is walking around blaming everyone else and he actually believes people care about his existence in the world.
But the truth is, or at least how I see it is…
Most people are so wrapped up in their own little worlds they have little time to think about you.
Whether they are trying to figure out what to cook for dinner or how they’re going to get to work on time – YOU are not a factor. ( Unless you blatantly interrupt their routine.)
Now that you know your real effect on the world around you it’s easy to implement what we call the “projection theory.”
Don’t let the words fool you. It’s a fancy way of telling you to stop taking everyone else’s problems personally.
Like did you know most attractive women have anxiety issues?
When you pre-judge women as “unattainable” simply because they are YOUR EXACT “TYPE”, you’ve made an unfair assessment that ignores HER potential input on the matter. Limiting Beliefs – Dating and Attraction From a Woman’s Perspective
This is because for their entire lives they are judged by their appearance alone. Some of them begin to feel pressured into proving they are more than just another hot body to stare at.
They become so worried about saying the wrong thing and proving to you who they really are, they are in a constant state of “what if. ”
Just knowing that alone can help you ease much of the stress in getting out of the friends zone.
This is because when a guy tries to make her feel comfortable, when he tries to ease her anxiety, when his sole purpose is to make her feel like he is not going to judge her on her looks alone all it does is make you look like:
- You’d make a good friend.
- You’re interested in solving her personal problems.
- You’re noticing her private flaws which feel evasive and make her feel unattractive.
Notice how none of that involves creating attraction and having fun therefore to her it feels like she has found a new friend and not a guy who is “boyfriend” material or might even want sex with her.
Stop blaming women is number one in our business in eliminating the friends zone.
NUMBER 2. Take responsibility for your life.
This is huge for your self-esteem.
Victims tend to have low self-esteem and only attract negative people or those with the same level of self-esteem.
Obviously I won’t ask you to go through a major self-esteem overhaul but I will reassure you – as you go through this book and put in to practice, your self-esteem will naturally increase and so will your confidence.
For now – just start “owning up” to more than you have before.
…Your ability to attract any woman (who likes men of course) IS and will always be about YOU! This Is NOT About Her! The Rubber Duck Theory of Attraction.
If in the past you hesitated telling someone bad news because you felt sorry for them, suck it up and start doing it.
If there’s someone or some people in your life who do nothing but make you feel bad, own up to it and STOP seeing them.
This takes courage and builds positive momentum in your life.
Take a pro-active role for the decisions YOU make and the positions or circumstances you put YOURSELF in.
Yes, even the friends zone role… trust you’ve played your part in it too.
Taking responsibility for your own actions and the causes they have had or will have in your life as you’ll be well on your way in escaping this victim mentality and thus will be deemed more attractive.
NUMBER 3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
This is simple now because you have already stopped blaming women and you’ve taken responsibility for your actions.
Go back to step one and learn how to think differently through practice and clear examples based on your personal life experiences.
You’re NOT allowed to waste any more of your precious time blaming yourself anymore.
This includes the internal badgering too many put of us put on ourselves.
“Why do I act like such a wussy every time I’m around her?” -> BAD THINKING
GOOD THINKING – > ( talk to yourself in real-time more…) “Woah. I’m doing it again! Stop it.”
Then reinforce with only positive thoughts.
REMEMBER: In order for this material to work it’s best that your positive thoughts must continually outweigh the negative ones and to get in the habit of doing it.
Positive Reinforcement works.
I’ve taught and worked with several students teaching them how to play music and how to develop a better golf swing and I was amazed by how many of them not only kept practicing the wrong things, but were always looking for what they were doing wrong.
Sure it’s okay to notice and eliminate mistakes but it’s no way to practice through positive reinforcement.
The concept is simple:
Practice the right things and stop worrying so much about what you’re doing wrong.
If you think about your body sagging down during the downswing you’re going to find it difficult to stop doing it. Your thought should be… Maintain good posture and NOT stop sagging.
See the difference?
If you are thinking how hard it is to strum quick enough to play a guitar your muscles will never relax enough to allow quick hand action. You can’t think I must go quicker. train yourself to better relax and allow your muscles to fire quicker and they will.
Your mind must focus on quiet relaxed free movement of every piece of your body and then your wrists are equally relaxed. Even if you tighten your left big toe up your wrists will tighten.
It’s the way our body works.
When it comes to women it’s a little more difficult to “practice” with positive reinforcement but it’s not impossible.
Let’s say you find it difficult to start a conversation with a woman you’ve never met who is attractive. Maybe your mind is filled with doubt. The last thing you want your focus on is trying to avoid screwing up the conversation.
You work on one thing at a time and you start with the easiest – all you have to do is get her to smile once.
When you accomplish that you’re building positive reinforcement.
Do it a few times and suddenly it’s not a big deal anymore.
Once you found it easy to get a woman to smile then you can move on to the next positive step and so on.
Just remember… positive thoughts. NOT affirmations.
Think what you must do in order to succeed and do it and NOT what you’re NOT supposed to do.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself start feeling positive about who you are, what you’re doing, and how much you’re going to accomplish.
NUMBER 4: Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary and then eliminate it through your actions.
Think about what happens when you find yourself uttering the word “Should.”
It may seem totally harmless as in…
“I should have brought an umbrella.”
But I can almost guarantee if you’re using that word too often it’s one of those stumbling blocks which are stopping you from attracting women and more specifically eliminating the friends zone.
- “I should have made a move.”
- “I should have asked her out.”
- “I should have held her hand.”
- “I should have at least talked to her.”
This word represents the past and an important opportunity you probably missed.
There are two “high impact” words which will undoubtedly limit how easily you can trigger attraction… They are “should” and “always.” Skinny Chics With Big Ears ALWAYS Have Nice Butts
Not only does it create the feeling of low self-confidence but will more often than not stop you from correcting the mistake the next time you’re in that same situation.
I want you to tell yourself from now on ( to rewire how you think ) by first recognizing the word when it appears and then stopping yourself by coming up with something different.
Here’s an example:
“I should have filled that tire up and now I’m stuck here trying to change a tire before an important date.” BAD!!!
BETTER: “I can not wait to tell this story. People are going to love it.”
What you want to do is positively reinforce yourself with a clear present mind and then to “pretend” the future will be better for a quick moment.
I’ll show you a real world example so you can fully understand how this exercise works.
A cute woman smiles at you and you let her pass by without saying a word. Guys who are often “just friends” with women often find themselves uttering this to themselves later…
“I should have at least said hi. Why did I blow it again? Why do I continually chicken out?”
Sure I could tell you just to talk to her but I know from experience that won’t help, will it?
But what WILL help is building your confidence and positive attitude so when it happens again you’re in a better more positive confident mood which literally takes over your body and mind and causes you to act before your “Should” mind stops you from missing the opportunity.
When you catch yourself in the “should” mood later on that evening…
- RECOGNIZE that moment happened.
- REORGANIZE your thoughts.
- RETRAIN your mind. “I didn’t miss an opportunity.”
- REINFORCE positively. “A cute woman smiled at me today!”
I know it sounds too simple to work but trust me if you start doing that and not allowing the word “should” to affect you negatively you’re going to see a difference the next time something similar happens.
Let’s try another one.
You’re in line waiting to buy anything and an attractive woman accidentally bumps into you and quickly apologizes. You say, “No problem.” and then turn your back to her to be quickly checked out.
As you’re walking away you hear her chatting with the cashier and that voice, her laugh, you find yourself thinking how you should have been the cashier. Or how you should have done something different because she turned out to be fun to talk to.
- RECOGNIZE the moment. It happened.
- REORGANIZE your thoughts.
- RETRAIN your mind. “What are some things I can say next time this happens?” – “Are you trying to cut ahead?”, etc…
- REINFORCE positively. “A cute woman smiled at me today!”
I can not emphasize enough how important it is for you to step out of this victim mentality.
You will experience and almost immediate shift in how ALL women see you and the positive affect you have on them.
This new outlook on life not only demands more respect from women, NO women will ever sleep with you unless she respects you, but it can give you a huge boost in your confidence AND your esteem. Both are very attractive traits by the way.
The formula is simple.
Eliminating the victim mindset helps to escape the friends zone.
Stop blaming women.
Start taking responsibility.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Eliminate the word “should” from you daily life and the actions you take.
Today’s recommendation involves a sure fired way to escape the victim mentality which holds back way too many guys from enjoying success with women… Alpha Men rarely victimize themselves and proves the path to masculinity is a long-term solution to eliminating the friends zone. For as long as this link is up, Alpha Masculinity – No More Mister Nice Guy you can enjoy a risk free trial period. Please do NOT let his opportunity pass you by and start taking a real responsibility for your life today.