More REAL reasons why women put guys in the friends zone…
13. You do not make enough money.
Although this is rare.
Not many women will refuse to date a guy because he doesn’t make enough money.
Obviously if you meet one why are you even bothering with her?!!!
However… you will run into women who might give this reason but that’s because she phrased it in a way you did not understand.
What she probably meant to say was,
“This guy has no goals in life.”
Without goals or aspirations you’re going to find the friends zone all too popular for yourself.
You will also find a woman might sleep with you without having goals but quickly put you in the “NO RELATIONSHIP” category and eventually downgrade you to just a friend.
14. You do not own a car.
Honestly…. I’ve heard this before.
This reason can depend highly on where you live.
In big cities I’d say it’s more rare than rural areas.
However if you live in an area in which getting around efficiently requires you to own a car she may be connecting “not owning a car” with “not having a social life.”
Honestly I would never date a woman where this was a main reason.
But if you must you can use this to your advantage but most of the time it’s just easier to get a car.
This is how it’s done…
When a woman notices how others are always willing to take you places because they want you around – or how you get things done without a car, something she finds difficult to achieve on her own – AND you have an exciting social life – you can easily allow her to see this.
Trust me I’ve known plenty of men who were incredible at staying out of the friends without even a license.
Refuse to use this as an excuse and you’ll be much better off.
Again the key here is to your ability to live the best you can despite having the advantage of a vehicle.
That, to women, is highly attractive and strangely enough – SEXY!
15. You’re too old to be living with your parents.
Well yes. This is almost always guaranteed to put you in the friends zone.
But I also understand how some guys may not have a choice.
Maybe their parents need help. I suppose besides the reason I just listed the easy solution is to move out.
I would never blame a woman for not wanting to date an older man who lives with his parents.
If you are dead set against moving out there may be some deeper issues going in.
Again, unless there are serious issues like you can’t bring yourself to deal with living on your own, you can use this to YOUR advantage IF you’re doing it because you have to take care of your parents.
Obviously I wouldn’t show it off but it does say a lot about a guy who is willing and capable of taking care of one or both his sickly parents.
And in that case I personally commend you for it.
16. She hates what you do for a living.
I heard a woman say this before but honestly, what kind of woman can she be?
This of course is NOT including making a living by saving people or protecting others from harm.
For those it’s possible you’ll meet women who can not deal with the prospect of a late night phone call.
However this excuse is lame and often tells you exactly what kind of woman you are dealing with.
On the other side you might be hearing this as one of those,
“I’m going to let you down easy because I’m feeling nothing for you.”
Remember women give excuses for not dating men just to spare your feeling and more commonly her own reluctance to reject a guy.
Take a hard look at what you do.
If it’s not a big deal or putting yourself in constant danger then chances are she’s giving you an excuse.
If it’s not because you’re showing any lack of goals or anything like that, then it’s definitely just an excuse and I would look elsewhere… like attraction for the real answer as to why you’re in the friends zone.
17. You are co-workers.
This happens more often than you would think because it’s NOT always advisable to date people you work with.
However if you spend a lot of time with them, feelings tend to bubble up and connections are made.
Add to that long hours and little time for a social life and you both get stuck in a friendship when you both are looking for more – but she’s just not willing to risk it.
This one is heavily connected to the next reason but I’m there are plenty of you who would do anything to date that co-worker of yours.
18. She is your boss.
Never date your boss! I can not say that any louder.
If this is the definitive reason you are in the friends zone you’re going to have to ask yourself some serious questions about how much you really love this woman.
If you love her that much and are willing to do anything to be with her – which is not advisable – find a different job.
If you’re not willing to do that then you probably are only feeling what I mentioned above.
Where you’re spending so much time together and the sexual friction is getting more heated everyday.
If you leave (the job) while things are hot and heavy you may just find an incredible relationship with her.
Show her the strength of your choices and she’ll be even more attracted to you.
However you risk losing her because any man who’s willing to put a woman first and they’re not in a relationship often loses her.
In this situation you must find a way to allow her to see this is a one time deal.
And the rest of your life is yours.
19. You told her that you loved her after a few dates.
If this is you – please STOP doing it immediately!
If you’re finding this difficult to avoid – like you fall for women way too easily there’s a way around it until you gain the strength to stop doing it.
First understand this will almost always put you in the friend category.
Learn to turn it around on her in a funny cocky way.
This is where you casually accuse her of falling madly in love with you and you think she needs to slow down.
Keep it in context though or you’ll like an ass.
Learn to use backhanded humor to bust her ass a little.
“You know I think I’m falling in love with… … ….”
Pause then mention something totally different.
Use the pause to catch yourself and then turn it into humor in which you are in a way mocking all the men who fall for her so easily.
And you’re not one of them and you understand this is not what she wants.
Use those tips to avoid making this mistake and as you go through this book you won’t have to worry about this one anymore.
You’ll know exactly what to do instead.
20. Your ex-girlfriend was a bitch and you constantly talk about her.
The rule is – Don’t talk badly about your ex ( at least in the beginning. )
Never compare her to you ex.
Never bitch, whine, or complain about your past experiences with women.
The past bounces off of you.
You see it’s not that you’ve made a past mistake which tells her you might not be a viable option in her dating life…
It’s the mere fact that you won’t let things go.
You’re constantly allowing pat mistakes control your present and it’s making her present unbearable to be more than just a friend.
So what. Your ex was a bitch. Admit you played a half a role in the relationship. You did get in it.
You now know the signs to look out for to avoid a woman like that in the future. You know have a clearer picture of what YOU want from a relationship.
Use that knowledge to confidently seek a better and more promising future.
Use that knowledge to qualify her.
Use that past experience to make your dates more fun and less of a bitch-fest. You’ll be much more attractive in her eyes when she senses this strength.
She’ll question her past experiences without you having to even mention them. And when she is doing that she is feeling attracted to you.
Which is a good thing – right?
If this is a serious problem I’d suggest you start reading this… How to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend – Recovering From a Break-up
21. You talked too much about your Mother on the first, second or third date.
Even if your Mom is famous and well-known it’s best to avoid making this mistake.
The only time you want to even mention her in the early stage of dating is to playfully accuse your date of contacting your Mom.
As if she’s trying to marry you so early on.
Save the “family talk” for another time because it’s best to create a little tension and mystery and have fun. Without those ingredients it’s all too easy to be thrown in the friends zone.
We’ll skip the Mom bashing thing here and right to fixing this problem.
Read this two articles and keep the subjects attractive and light:
- How To Act With A Woman On The First Date – What and How to Say It
- How to Talk to Women: Dating Conversation Topics
22. You complimented her way too much
It may appear this is what women want because they in fact do enjoy getting real genuine compliments.
In fact some will even opt for a second date as an ego boost because you’re being so nice to her.
But inside she’s already put you in the friend’s zone.
Compliments are okay if they are used sparingly at first and when they are genuine. They also have a lot to do with the type of guy you are.
In other words the better you are with women the less you have to worry about how she is taking the compliment.
If it’s to kiss her ass – it’s wrong.
If it’s to display a genuine interest then it’s okay.
However constantly complimenting any woman always leaves her not taking your words at full value. She’ll believe you’re doing it for reasons which are strategic.
Or you’re clueless about how to talk to a woman.
Like you’re avoiding something or redirecting her attention to mask your lack of confidence.
What’s important to remember if this is you – stop it immediately until you learn how and when to give unique compliments which can never be mistaken for something other than a genuine interest in the specifics of who she is.
This is a huge problem for guys stuck in the friends zone. It’s also one reason women will give you for not wanting more.
Except she won’t tell you directly because she likes who you are but doesn’t feel attracted to the guy you’re trying to be.
Combine that with her seeing a fear of yours means you’re already invested in how she feels about you and eventually she’ll get you to be yourself around her – when you’re already a close friend.
This is not an easy thing to overcome but we’ll help you through it slowly. The important item to remember here is contained within the sentence above.
“It’s not that she doesn’t like you but she feels no attraction for the guy you’re trying to be.”
I don’t care if you’re the biggest nerd in the world you’ll be much better off being all that you can be for yourself regardless of what she thinks.
23. You eat like a pig.
Only heard this a couple of times but it does exist so I figured if you’re struggling on figuring out what is going wrong this is just ONE area which can easily be missed AND it may be a clue as to other areas of personal hygene that you’re missing.
Don’t let a mistake like this ruin it for you, it’s just not worth it.
A little manners go a long way in the beginning with women.
As you progress to a deeper non-friendship relationship then you can relax just a little.
For more info see reason 25 below.
24. Your car is disgusting on the inside.
I’ve stressed having a high value of your life and this is part of it.
How is a woman expect to believe you can handle her if you don’t care enough to at least clean it up a little before or after a date.
This means taking just a few minutes so she does not feel uncomfortable being surrounded by the garbage of your past week.
You can at least clean it BEFORE a date or before every date. Just get it handled.
For more information on getting ALL areas of your life handled I suggest you read my Girlfriend Step 2 – When You Control Your Life Effortlessly, Women Will Want To Be In It.
25. You have terrible hygiene.
Please don’t let this be the reason a woman puts you in the friends zone. Get it cleaned up and take the time to maintain it.
Giving up fifteen minutes of your day is not a lot to ask for when you compare it to screwing it up with some incredible women.
Because the higher quality ones will always rule you out for this one.
The good news if this is the only reason you’re ending up in the friends zone you won’t have to read any more.
But I can almost guarantee you this is part of a bigger problem which needs to be addressed. Don’t worry just keep reading and it will be covered.
Again there’s a great list to cover on my girlfriend steps. I do hope you’re seeing a pattern here between getting a girlfriend and eliminating the friends zone: Refine Your Look, Style – How To Take Care Of The Details Women Notice
26. You sleep with everyone.
While being a male slut for a little while might be tempting AND fun, some women will almost definitely put you in her friends zone because she does not like your sleeping habits.
She could be thinking you out of a date,
“How could he find me special if he likes her?”
“He has terrible taste.”
“He has no willpower and will cheat on me.” and so on…
If you’re being friend-ed because of this changing your habits can go along way.
Remember a woman wants a man with choices IF those choices are worth competing with.
She wants a guy who does have enough skills to attracts lots of women but she also needs to be reassured you’re not just in it for just another lay.
Get more women in your life who are attractive AND are just friends. As counter-intuitive as it sounds it does have benefits: The Benefits And Rules Of Becoming Friends With Hotter Women.
27. She believes you’re gay.
This does happen. It’s not all too common but it’s on this list with good reason.
Some of it is a lack of masculinity and some of it is how women interpret your body language.
Both are easily worked on and changed.
The good news – It’s not uncommon for women to have deep feelings for a guy she believes is gay.
All it takes is a small shift to allow her to see the truth.
You could swap stories of your first kiss but I feel it’s better to strengthen your body language and work on your masculinity. The point here is that sure, women want your words.
You know how they are always saying they wish men would talk more about their feelings?
Well take a guy who constantly is talking about his feelings, throw in a slightly feminine attitude and suddenly she’s assuming your gay or feels no masculinity from you.
It’s because women are always looking for the bigger picture.
They are always looking for signs but are often confused by actions and often see this as mystery.
Now you don’t want to create tons of confusion but if you work on your “action language” and your masculinity without saying a word you will leave a small amount of mystery to who you really are.
Just enough creates huge amounts of attraction.
And I highly doubt any woman will ever use this as a reason as to why she just “settled” for a friendship.
28. You showed no interest in her at all.
This might have happened by accident and if it did the answer is exactly what you’re thinking…
Start showing interest.
Keep it to things about her which really do interest you. That way you can do it indirectly.
If you suddenly show way too much interest you will probably scare her away from even the friendship.
In other words don’t get drunk and “pout” ( not a typo ) out your feelings for her.
Another reason, which I feel is more common among men who get trapped in her friends zone…
Is that you were afraid if you showed interest she would not be interested in you.
You preempted the rejection by rejecting her even though you had feelings towards her.
You may have even been playing indifferent but for some reason it never worked for you.
There is a common misconception about indifference to create attraction and we may get into it later but for now, consider this fact about women…
They want to be liked and they enjoy when someone is interested in them.
You can easily see how showing no interest is not the same as being indifferent.
The key to attracting women and being truly indifferent is to never put so much emphasis on the outcome of the attraction.
Do not invest large pieces of yourself that involve your livelihood or happiness to be greatly affected by her decisions.
This is not relationship advice.
This is advice on creating attraction and eliminating the friend zone.
If she can have you at any time – she probably won’t want you very much. You show her no real value.
If she knows she will affect you negatively based on her decision alone – she will refuse to put herself out there enough to allow an emotional connection to grow.
That sentence can never be taken lightly.
Tell your guy friends about it.
Ask your woman friends their opinion on it.
Here it is again…
If she knows she will affect you negatively based on her decision alone – she will refuse to put herself out there and allow an emotional connection to grow.