You’re about to learn how you put yourself in the friends zone in 9 easy steps AND how it’s going to take you 12 basic moves to get yourself out .
This is definitely not better known as the “1 point trailing three factor.” A (clever?) way of saying it takes you 133% more effort to turn a dear friend into a lover than it would if you had somehow managed to avoid most of what put you there in the first place.
I want to personally thank Richard for sharing his personal story to help us learn…
Hi Mr White. I have also similiar problem. I have also a best friend we were together in class 3 years ago and we started to become best friends but in the end of the year I started loving her.
I faled my school year and I changed school, so we didnt see each other for a certain time and I started writing her sometimes.
So we met and sometimes and we wrote sms once a week and she found out by another girl that I loved her but she didn’t want to stop our friendship. It was a hard time tough and than this was going on for a long time and a year after that I couldn’t take it anymore so we talked and we decided to stop the conact so I could get over her.
After a month I told myself that I was stupid and I should fight for her so I did it and a friendship was getting better we wrote sms all day and saw each other when we had time like sometimes in the weekend. She told me that Im very important to her and she likes me very much but just as a friend. so last week I started talking about relationship and everything(via sms) I never did it so honestly before and I asked her if I would have any chance and she told me no I should not hope and she said that she was sorry for hurting me and so on. The only good thing she told me was that she knew she would have it good if I was her boyfriend but she just doesn’t love me. And now all my hope is gone and I dont know what to do. I would be so thankful if you could help me.
Thank you Richard
Nine easy steps to landing and submerging yourself in any woman’s friends zone:
- You meet a girl.
- You do not know how to create attraction.
- The longer you wait to acknowledge the fact, she is a woman and you are a man, the more you find your attraction to her must be love.
- You reveal your feelings to anyone who will listen and sometimes it’s the girl you are in love with.
- You wait for a response of love and affection when all you get is a cold shoulder to look at and the dreaded “I only see you as a friend.” or “I love you but I’m not IN love with you.“
- You get depressed, confused, and heart broken.
- The depression causes you to reach for her to pull you out.
- The confusion causes you to search for her approval even more because you want her to solve YUOR problem. In fact you believe she is the only one capable of solving your problem.
- Your broken heart makes you and sometimes her, believe she has hurt you. And since you feel you are now in love with someone who has hurt you there’s no way out. All hope is lost and the cycle goes on until she finds a man who does not like your feelings for her an the friendship is totally ruined because she does not want to hear how much you love her when you’re feelings depressed and lonely.
I know the feeling. I’ve been there myself more than once.
I acted the same way you did. Hell I’ve even sent a love letter or two myself proclaiming my ever lasting love. And yes I’ve even asked a few of them why couldn’t they love me when they admitted I would make a great boyfriend.
So I’m not going to lie to you.
This girl will never be yours unless, and this is no guarantee, you make some things happen immediately. And it won’t be easy. In fact you’ll probably get one of three results. This is some hardcore shit here and not made up at all.
I have lived through each on of them personally.
- NO REALIZATION: You’ll step through the guide on escaping the friend zone and yet find there’s nothing you can do about getting her. You’ll blame it on everything including yourself. Eventually you’ll move on to a new “friends zone” cycle with another woman.
- TOTAL REALIZATION: You’ll step through the guide on escaping the friend zone and end up meeting a woman who DOES feel attracted to you. You’ll realize how much better this new girl is, and how far you’ve come that you could even begin to date more than woman to really open your options.
- ONE LUCKY GUY: You’ll step through the guide on escaping the friend zone and after a long period of disengagement you’ll do so many things right with her she can not help but to want or more accurately desire to be your girlfriend. And hopefully you’ll know exactly what to do to not only make it happen, but to keep it alive.
(THE DISCLAIMER: Understand this guide to escaping the friends zone is really just a proven method to teach men how to act and what to learn to attract women. This is not an all exclusive course on turning a friend into a girlfriend. Some areas require more work than others and outside help is always suggested and is often needed. )
1. Cut your contacting or meeting up with her to no more than once every few months.
What you want to do is keep the hint of the friendship alive while at the same time giving her more space than ever before.
2. You’re not allowed to bring up relationship talk with her.
If a woman is not attracted to you telling her how you feel will never change that. It will only make it worse.
3. Get some real lessons in attraction and how it works for all women.
A rule in escaping the friends I teach is to always learn what attracts all women and not what it takes just to attract one.
4. Break the pattern by acknowledging:
- She is NOT the reason you are depressed and feel all hope is lost.
- Women are not attracted to a “victim mentality.“
- SHE can never make you happy if you do not feel happy by yourself.
- She is NOT a tangible goal. She’s a human being whose feminine desires go beyond how a “good of boyfriend” a guy might make.
5. Learn how mature masculine men act and why it attracts women.
Learn how to develop your self-worth beyond the “fleeting” competent tasks which only prove to be temporary.
6. Learn how to build your confidence and all the reasons why confidence is so attractive to women.
ONE WAY: Men who seek approval are looking for others to validate their confidence instead of trusting in themselves first. They allow their outer-image and their inner-game to be a reflection of how others see them. Confident men are not easily persuaded by outside negativity.
This is also where most men should consider taking care of the details of their appearance.
Make sure you’re not missing the small things which she ruled you out in the beginning. Yes it can mean anything from a new hair style to the drastic a new career. The key is to develop all areas of your confidence and not just the ones which revolve around women.
7. Read the words of a “reader and friends zone member“who has achieved so much in his inner journey.
(Incidentally he has succeeded because he sough out help beyond the scope of the friends zone. So yes. He spent a little money.)
For me, it was about knowing it’s ok to be a man, to be sexual, to go after what I wanted. She knew I wanted her, but I never fully claimed her. It’s about CLAIMING her (thanks go to David Wygant for that realization!) I never showed her a solid man with a strong foundation.
Except at the beginning, when I didn’t even know I was doing it. I didn’t go after what I wanted. She knew it, and I knew it. I didn’t want to upset the boat. Yeah, we spent some time together, but let’s not do anything more than a kiss on the cheek or an arm around the back. Let’s not flirt too much. Because she may not want to go there. If she’s not resposnvie to something she must not like it, it must be my fault, maybe she doesn’t like me so I’ll back off.
The Fearless Code – This is the product men in the friends zone NEED!
8. Meet more women. Approach more women. Flirt with more women.
Get more women in your life who are not “just friends” and who you have learned to attract along the way. Give yourself some real choices and let women know, to be with you, they are going to have to put some effort in getting you exclusively.
Which leads to…
9. Start expecting women to qualify themselves to you.
You don’t have to judge or over scrutinize them. You do NOT have to be mean or careless towards their feelings.
You do not have to raise your standards so high no one could ever reach. All of you have to do is challenge women to seek what they desire the most. And if that happens to be you… congratulations.
- Raising Hope Takes Her Off The Pedestal – A Nice Guy Lesson In Attraction
- 5 Steps to Qualifying Her – Attracting Better Women
- Top Ten Ways to Challenge Women to be Attracted to You
10. Develop a solid social life and maintain a strong circle of friends who share your passions.
No woman will ever begin to feel something for you beyond friendship, (if you’re already friends) unless she is allowed to see how many areas of your life you have handled. I can not emphasize how important your social life is when it comes to eliminating the friends zone.
- Attraction and Intelligent Men – An Introduction into the Social World of Dating
- Do You Love Doing It? Attracting Men or Women With Your Passions and Desires
If you’ve managed doing all that without giving in to the temptation of feeling sorry for yourself, and you’ve managed to not play the blame game, and you kept in check your emotional need to constantly reassure to her how you feel… Then you’ll want to :
11. Re-Introduce yourself to her in very casual social setting.
Allow her to see how much you’ve changed. Bring your new personality to the “game” so to speak. Don’t worry about how to act around her. Don’t worry about not making mistakes or always doing the right thing. Trust your new confident self is ready to take on anything. By this time you should know how to handle things maturely and more importantly as the strong sexual man you built yourself into.
12. Utilize your past friendship and understand the comfort and trust is already there.
(However she will probably not trust that you have grown out of liking or loving her.)I’m NOT telling you to start acting like you used to especially if all you did was kiss her ass. I’m suggesting (since she already believes she has figured you out) to actually start doing things differently with her.
- She needs to feel a real and genuine sexual vibe from you.
- She needs to feel a sexual energy coming from you that she didn’t feel before. And don’t change this energy because you used to be friends.
- She must question herself about what she used to feel about you but she must not be led or forced into it. She must discover it on her own.
Utilizing the friendship means you can step past getting to know each other. The groundwork is already there.
Show a little edge and a touch of unpredictability with regards to how you respond to her new tests. Because she will begin to test you again but that’s what you want, so welcome them.
When a woman is testing you it means she’s looking to figure out if you are who you say you or if how you’re acting is congruent with what you say. This means she’s feeling something new for you and if it happens to be a sexual desire or a hint of attraction then again- congratulations.
Remember this warning – if you notice her shift you must NOT fall back to acting like just a friend.
If you notice there’s tension don’t let it affect you. You must never allow her to control your sexual desires. Be in charge of your emotional states as often as you can but at the same time learn to anticipate hers so you know exactly when to build it. You may lose her as quickly as you got her if you do not control your own new sexual power first.
Remember this is a step by step guide to eliminating the friends zone with women in general.
I’m not going to guarantee you’ll get any woman anytime and any place. I’ve come up with these steps to help guys construct a path to take.
I may have missed a few areas.
Comment me below if you have something new you want to add.
Please Do NOT believe all of your answers are found here. You must dig deeper yourself to get the more specific help you need based on your own personal life and not mine.
These steps work because I’ve done that myself. I didn’t go from one to the next I worked on pieces at my own pace and in some areas I saw an immediate change and other areas it took a lot longer.
This depends on where you are in your life and again not where I was or am. I have written so much and so passionately because, as I mentioned in the beginning, I have been there myself and I hate seeing men going through the same thing over and over…
This is also loosely based on my Escaping the Friends Zone Online Ebook. You can read it here:
- Body Language
- Observing Other Men and Social Dynamics
- Your Boundaries.
- Why You Put Yourself In the Friends Zone.
- Why Women Put You In The Friends Zone
- The “Victim Mentality“
- Social Dynamics and where you need to be to increase your success.