It’s definitely easier to relate to something when we’re given examples of an experience instead of some rules or guidelines to follow.
I have two articles written by experts in attraction.
They are both about the friend’s zone.
They are both advice on what a man can do to get himself out.
I will then think back to a time where I was always in that same “friends only” position and share with you the thoughts inside my head.
This is designed to show you how pathetic my inner game really was and hopefully you’ll see exactly how I was quite literally, “A Friend Zone Junkie.”
Consider this a warning.
An eye opener.
Consider this MY way of helping you see the bigger picture of what is really happening.
I couldn’t see it when I was deep inside it and I’m hoping this will help you to get past the huge first step in being a friends zone junkie too.
Turn a Female Friend Into a Girlfriend in 9 Easy Steps written by Flirt Master – Steve Scott.
Below are just the nine listed steps and my comments on them.
1. Don’t pour your heart out to her.
“If I can just explain to her in a romantic setting that my feelings for her were genuine and it was definitely love, she would finally fall for me. ”
I didn’t know it then but I was creating a world inside my head that did not exist and I lived there for quite some time.
2. Stop letting her walk all over you.
“If I can do just one more thing she will finally see what a great catch I am.”
I remember even thinking that I just wanted to be around her and if it meant doing things for her, then I was more than happy to oblige.
So it would be…she asks. I do.
I would always ask questions like:
“What do you want?” ”
“Do you like this?”
If you don’t, I’ll take it away because I want to make sure you are always happy. But those thoughts were followed by,
“I gave you everything you want? Why won’t you like me?”
3. Date around.
“No time to date around. This hot girl is paying attention to me. If I let up the slack just a little she will end up fucking some guy or the same dude she screws every once in a while who treats her like shit.”
4. Touch her.
“Treat her like glass. She will break. I know. I will give her a massage and she will instantly see what a great lay I could be. But that’s it. I don’t want to over step my bounds and send her running from my advancements. I could lose her forever. I don’t want to be teased and if I get too close to her it hurts knowing I can not have her.”
5. Make her meet your standards.
My entire existence was based on how she perceived me.
That’s how my friend’s zone junkie mind worked.
Everything I thought or did revolved around her preferences and certainly not my own.
6. Let’s talk about sex.
Not a chance that was going to happen. I would cringe at the idea of a sexual conversation with any woman I felt “in love” with but couldn’t have.
And if she began talking about sleeping with someone I would get so jealous inside I felt like ripping my freaking hair out.
She’s only going to talk about how this jerk-off did her from behind or something.
I just didn’t need or want or could ever handle hearing those details.
Of course it never occurred me those friends avoided talking sex with me anyways because they were more afraid of leading me on.
7. More about Sex.
No need to say more. I avoided any and every situation to hear the details of her sex life and what pleased her in bed.
8. Create sexual tension.
I never really understood sexual tension. My greatest knowledge of it was women telling me about other guys,
“I don’t know. It just happened. I didn’t plan it. One minute we were talking and the next thing I know our clothes were flying off of us!”
For anyone stuck in the friends zone like I was, sexual tension was a bad thing.
Couldn’t create it.
Avoided it at all costs.
That alone, with most women can easily land us in the friends only zone.
You want a quick course in it? Read this: How to Create (or Kill) Sexual Tension.
9.Go for it.
I Couldn’t really go for it until I told her how I felt. I created scenarios in my head of some romantic fantasy where I would finally reveal my inner most secrets to her.
And of course this always involved her attacking me and throwing me to the ground to have her way with me.
Little did I know things don’t work that way 99.9999% of the time. Without the first 8 steps, the 9th step will rarely work.
Like the sexual tension thing, us guys stuck in the friends zone destroy it entirely by revealing our feeling to a woman who is not sexually attracted to us.
Not surprisingly the next article has mysteriously vanished so the link is gone.
Here is what is said though.
The ONLY way to turn her into a girlfriend is for you to start spending less time with her and SHOW her that you are desirable to other women.
That could never happen for me because she was a good friend of mine. As a good friend I ended up telling them my whole sorted story of not finding the women I want.
After all, aren’t good friends supposed to tell each other their problems and console each other?
Seriously I know there was a part of me who actually believed I would get a pity fuck from telling her mad sad sobbing story.
Accept the fact that you might NEVER turn her into a girlfriend, because you have played this all wrong from the beginning.
Accepting the obvious is very difficult when you are so deep in it you can’t see the reality behind the situation.
First you want it.
Then you need it.
Then you can’t get enough of it.
It’s a vicious and addictive cycle which is what makes us a “friends zone junkie.”
Vow to yourself that you will never make this friend zone mistake again.
I did that long ago so I know for a fact it IS possible to keep yourself out of it once and for all.
Sure you struggle along the way.
But you’ll make some changes in your life.
Some are good.
Some are bad.
But you learn to process the information more effectively and with a much more open mind or different perspective you can move on quickly.
Something which apparently for me was terribly hard to get started but once I did, it made a huge difference and once I realized the changes were working I noticed…
The more experience you gain the easier it becomes. The easier it gets to have several women in your life all at once.
Some of which may even turn out to be a future girlfriend, or wife. And at that point it won’t even matter.
Suddenly YOU will be the one deciding to put HER in the friends zone.
Show her you don’t need her.
All of us who have been here are so far from that it’s hard to see it yourself.
What I was doing was the complete opposite.
I proved to women over and over that I needed her so badly in every possible way that I couldn’t even function without her.
My life revolved my love for her while all the time “her” would change.
The results were always the same though.
It’s been my experience that if you are in fact a “friends zone junkie” and you’ve been alone way too long because of it, that alone is a strength you don’t even know you have to prove to lots of women you don’t actually need them.
Being single is tough and most people can’t handle long periods of alone time.
Well us “junkies” have lived through the worst of it and somehow we managed to get through it all.
So I know you can use that same strength I did to break the addictive cycle once and for all.
The mind of a friend’s zone junkie is not to be taken lightly.
What I’ve shown you is that one, you’re not alone. What you’ve experienced lots of other guys have too. Sure only some of them have broken through but that’s because they sought out real help and followed it along the best they can each and every day.
No one expects more.
You can start here by reading through my Eliminate the Friends Zone Ebook.
I’m amazed when I look back at how I acted and how the thoughts were so deeply rooted in me that I was able to find my way out of that terrible addiction.
But I did and I know it’s possible, again with the right help.
Read through my Ebook and if you don’t like it or it doesn’t help you – try one of these which have helped a ton of guy get out of the friends zone: Get and Out and Stay Out of the Friends Zone from the Wing Girls. Friends Into Girlfriend Secrets. secret sign up page. If that doesn’t work try something even better which I’ve personally endorsed and is very close to what I teach. Friends Into Lovers.
If you still are struggling – just keep trying something different.
There’s always a way out of the Friends Zone.
Maybe not with one woman in particular but as long you stop yourself from falling into the same trap as before, you’re already way ahead of this game.