There seems to be a common belief out there among us who have been “friend zoned” that we can change the other person’s mind into liking us.
Man or woman, most of have experienced this question personally and have wondered whether we can change how the opposite sex feels about us.
Since I’m a guy, here is my take on all this with hopefully some other guys will leave their ideas below.
Let’s put this question out there once and for all. Lets dispel the myth or satisfy the large amounts of women who come here looking for a way out of the friend’s zone.
It doesn’t matter what the reasons are for you not liking her. We’ll get into mine below.
It doesn’t matter if you liked her for a while and then found someone else.
It doesn’t matter if you “friended” her because you found her physically unattractive but you tried to get past it.
It doesn’t matter if you turned her down because you don’t like the way her mother was looking at you.
I want your answers!
“It’s generally accepted that it’s easier to change how SHE feels about us than it is for us guys to start feeling something for her.”
Here are 4 scenarios we might experience with a woman where she might wonder if she could ever make us feel something for her:
Scenario 1: You meet her.
You both go out on a date one or more times.
You realize you’re not feeling it. Maybe she’s kind of cool and all so you wouldn’t mind hanging out with her so you tell her,
“I just want to be friends.”
Could she ever change your mind?
Scenario 2: You meet her.
She’s totally into you and you begin to think, “You’re in.”
She’s hot and sexy and does it for you physically.
There’s no doubt in your mind that you want her so the chemistry rises and you end up having sex one or more times.
Then suddenly you begin to feel if you let this go any further you will end up in a relationship with her and that’s not something you sure you want.
You pull back and stop calling her so much or stop calling her entirely.
You just feel you’re not ready and she is pushing you. You pull back even further until eventually you tell her, “I like you but I don’t want to hurt you.”
Could she ever change your mind into wanting a relationship with her?
Scenario 3: You meet her.
You don’t feel physically attracted to her.
She’s seems really into you and keeps pushing you to go out with her or she flirts with you constantly hoping you’ll get the hint.
But you never do for obvious reasons…
Could she ever get you to feel what you were missing when you first met her?
Scenario 4: You meet her with a friend.
She’s pretty cool and you end up hanging out with her more and doing shit together.
You both quickly realize you have a lot in common. In fact you have so much in common you end up becoming very close friends.
Months or years down the road you have “the talk” because you both have been in and out of so many relationships since you met and it’s driving both of you crazy.
She casually mentions,
“Have you ever thought about us going out?” or
“How come we never hooked up?” or
“How come you never asked me out on a date?”
This surprises you and as you think about her questions you realize she is more like a sister to you so you tell her and she accepts it outwardly…
But inside, deep in her heart, that WAS the VERY moment she realized she had fallen in love with you and now wants more.
Could she ever change your mind about seeing her less as a sister and more as a sexual partner?
T is not a survey. We’re not going to click on some pre-selected box which may or may not be close to what we were or are feeling.
Leave your answers below and let women finally get a glimpse into the mind of “the guy” who either chose to be just friends with her or who was just never feeling it for her.
Okay now it’s my turn…
Here are some of the reasons I have chosen to be just friends with women… In order:
I was not physically attracted to her. She just didn’t turn me on. She didn’t excite me enough to feel anything more or different for her.
She lacks the ability to have fun. She’s rude at first and playful later. She reminds me of an unhappy cashier who is always having a bad day. (She hates her job but chooses to do nothing about it.) She has lost her ability to let go and forget about how the world sees her.
She has a negative outlook on life. She is surrounded by drama and thrives on it. She avoids reality by living through someone else’s life.
She lacks confidence and always looks to others to solve her esteem problems. if she is looking for support I’m all for it. If she’s looking for someone to lean on when she is feeling down, I’m okay with it.
But I just can not spend time working on HER inner game. Honestly and seriously – that is HER problem!
Can a woman change my mind in these cases?
The absolute truth is… If I just don’t feel it, that is NOT going to change unless at least 3 things happen:
1. We don’t see each other for at least a few months maybe even more maybe even a few years.
Three to five months may be enough because we all go through stages in our lives that play out over that time. Depending on where we are and what happens around us.
2. In that time she develops or changes how she appears physically.
It could mean losing weight, changing her hair color, dressing differently, or even just learning how to walk with more sex appeal.
It any case though this must be done according to her life and not mine. I will not feel any more physically attracted to a woman who changes her appearance to compete with other women or to compete for my affection, attention, or even my love.
I just don’t want a woman who is willing to give up who she is for me.
3. She changes her approach or attitude about herself and the life she is living.
This could get me to see her in a new light. A more positive attitude perhaps. Learning how to flirt would be another way.
Since we’re being so truthful here – the attraction must be there or be brought out very close to the first meeting or the odds of me (or I suppose any other guy) changing our minds go down drastically.
If you have a story or a comment or a reason yourself… STOP!
Leave it below because me and hopefully ALL women who visit this post want to hear about it…
Can A Woman Ever Change Your Mind Into Liking Her and How Much Does It Have To Do With The First Attraction Being There Or Not?
For more answers on men, please visit my other half –>Why Do Guys…? Lots of great answers on why us guys do the things we do.