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Can A Woman Change Your Mind Or Make You Like Her?

There seems to be a common belief out there among guys who have been “friend zoned” by a woman that they think or believe they can change the her mind into liking them.

BUT…. you rarely ever hear the other side of the story.

Can a woman change a guy’s mind?

Common belief suggests it’s easier for a guy to get a woman to feel something more for him than it is for a guy to feel something for her IF there was nothing there in the beginning.

What do you think? Is it easier for a man or woman?

Before you answer in the comment section you might want to read what’s coming up next because it’s rarely something anyone thinks about BUT it makes a lot of sense.

The not-always-so-obvious problem with questions like this is the one thing we use everyday… our MINDS.

Attraction and love is NOT a CHOICE.

No one chooses to FEEL something – it just happens.

Changing another person’s mind is assuming a man is CHOOSING to not feel something which is far from the way attraction and love works.

David DeAngelo wrote the most powerful and insightful book explaining how attraction really works and PROVED to me how something so simple can be so amazingly RIGHT.

(Pick up the ebook for yourself if you’re a guy of course and if you have any problems with women. ANY problems because this will literally change your entire mindset and open success with women like most men will never ever experience – Attraction Isn’t A Choice.)

The ideas in the book also suggest that once a woman doesn’t FEEL something for a guy – no amount of asking, pleading or begging will change it.

Guy Trying Convince Her Needy Attraction
“You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”.

If a woman doesn’t “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being “reasonable” with her?”

Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women – Common Mistakes to Avoid

The same goes for you too.

Guys are NOT “choosing” to not feel something for you therefore changing his mind is not going to work.

In fact – “trying” to change, convince, call it whatever you like, is one of the biggest mistakes a woman can attempt IF she’s to find real love.

MISTAKE #8: Trying To “Convince” Him To Like You Or Love You.

“What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like… but he’s just not that interested or isn’t as serious? They try to “convince” the man to feel differently.

YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, ever. You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”.

Think about it.

If a man doesn’t “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being “reasonable” with him?

Men are the worst at this by the way. They’re always complimenting women who don’t like them and buying them gifts.

Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man. She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn’t change the way she FEELS about him.

When a man just isn’t interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches.”

Avoid These Ten Mistakes With Men To Get The Love Life of Your Dreams

Okay so…

Changing someone’s mind (man or woman) is definitely NOT the answer.

BUT…

Finally! Some good news, right?

Yes.

Assuming it’s not a choice this means you can CREATE something and you’ll be shown the best way for it to happen below… just be patient.

Let’s go back to the original idea of this post and that was to hopefully get “other” guys to tell you the absolute truth about changing how the FEEL about you if nothing was there in the beginning OR if it went away.

Here are 4 scenarios a guy might experience with you followed by a very specific question he could answer.

Scenario 1:

You meet her.

You both go out on a date one or more times.

You realize you’re not feeling it.

Maybe she’s kind of cool and all so you wouldn’t mind hanging out with her so you tell her,

I just want to be friends.

Could she ever “change” your mind?

Scenario 2:

You meet her.

She’s totally into you and you begin to think, “You’re in.

She’s hot, sexy, and does it for you physically.

There’s no doubt in your mind that you want her so the chemistry rises and you end up having sex one or more times.

Then suddenly you begin to feel if you let this go any further you will end up in a relationship with her and that’s not something you sure you want from now OR with HER.

So….

You pull back and stop calling her so much or stop calling her entirely.

You just feel you’re not ready but she continues pushing you causing you to pull back ever further and eventually you’ve have enough so you tell her,

“I like you but I don’t want to hurt you.”

Could she ever change your mind into wanting a relationship with her?

Scenario 3:

You meet her.

You don’t feel physically attracted to her.

She’s seems really into you and keeps pushing you to go out with her or she flirts with you constantly hoping you’ll get the hint.

But you never do for obvious reasons…

Could she ever get you to feel what you were missing when you first met her?

Scenario 4:

You meet her with a friend.

She’s pretty cool and you end up hanging out with her more and doing shit together.

You both quickly realize you have a lot in common. In fact you have so much in common you end up becoming very close friends.

Months or years down the road you have “the talk” because you both have been in and out of so many relationships since you met and it’s driving both of you crazy.

She casually mentions,

Have you ever thought about us going out?” or

“How come we never hooked up?” or

How come you never asked me out on a date?

This surprises you and as you think about her questions you realize she is more like a sister to you so you tell her and she accepts it outwardly…

But inside, deep in her heart, that WAS the VERY moment she realized she had fallen in love with you and now wants more.

Could she ever change your mind about seeing her less as a sister and more as a sexual partner?

T is not a survey. We’re not going to click on some pre-selected box which may or may not be close to what we were or are feeling.

Leave your answers below and let women finally get a glimpse into the mind of “the guy” who either chose to be just friends with her or who was just never feeling it for her.

Now it’s my turn…

“If a guy is not feeling any kind of attraction towards a woman it’s very rare for him to begin to feel it. This includes both types of attraction. Making it incredibly much more difficult for a woman to escape his friends zone.”

Men generally experience two forms of attraction.

The first is purely physical and is by sight only.

The second happens when a man connects deeply with a woman and a bond is formed which includes love and possibly a relationship.

If the attraction is there and he’s hesitant about entering or committing to you – his mind can DEFINITELY be changed.

But again – like mentioned above – you can NOT convince him of anything.

You can uses certain skills, techniques, or communicate to him differently to urge him to decide he wants a relationship with you.

There are literally thousands of advice and tip articles to help you there and even more paid advice products.

(Tell me a little about your problem below and I’ll do my best to suggest the best for you because I’ve reviewed and advertised hundreds of them over the years.)

Here’s a cool Ebook to help you out if this is the problem:  

why Men Won't Commit Cover

10 Reasons Why Men Won’t Commit & What To Do About It.

It’s a free download hosted at another website run by me. You’ll enjoy it because it’s packed with great advice and tips you can use to “encourage” a man to commit to you.

You can also read it on the web-page here:

10 Reasons Why Men Won’t Commit And What To Do About It.

Now…

If there is no initial physical attraction then you’re going to have a much harder problem on your hands because like before – you can’t MAKE him feel physically attracted to you.

It’s not that guys are only into looks – that couldn’t be further from the truth. Despite what most feel – it’s a myth.

Men are definitely not just into how attractive you are…. it just helps to gain his initial interest in wanting to get to know you better.

If you think he was missing the physical attraction part when you first met AND you want to get his attention then this might be your only solution:

Do not see him for at least a few months.

Three to five months may be enough because we all go through stages in our lives that play out over that time.

A lot of time needs to pass BEFORE she could ever be seen any differently.

Develop or change how you appear physically.

It could mean losing weight, changing your hair color, dressing differently, or even just learning how to walk with more sex appeal.

It any case this must be done according to YOUR life and not for him.

You must understand that for him to begin to feel something different for you – this must be done selfishly – for yourself.

It’s hard to create something new with him if you’re only doing for his love and affection.

Just like you – men like a challenge.

If you’re too willing to give up so much of yourself for him, it will destroy the chances of a second stage attraction. (Connection, love, relationship.)

So you can see – you’re not TRYING to change his mind – you’re merely presenting yourself differently to him by triggering his physical attraction towards you.

And you can see the only REAL solution to that is to get far away from him and create a new look for yourself.

Which takes time and patience.

As noted above – men are NOT all into looks BUT if you’re not doing certain things for yourself which can help him feel attracted to you – then that needs to be taken care of…. immediately.

Something noted in this popular article:

#1: Look after yourself.

You may think that this is about being a flawless specimen of beauty or wallowing in vanity.

NOT at all.

What I’m stressing here is that you need to let everyone know you care enough to look your best. And that’s not the same as physical perfection “guys just need to cotton on to the fact that you’re always on top of your looks.”

How To Be The Girl That Guys Want To Date

You can download this Ebook to learn some FACTS about men and their attraction to women:

How Men Evaluate Women.

The book brings up a point which is very important to understand IF and WHEN you want to change how a guy FEELS about you.

Remember the two forms of attraction above?

IF a guy isn’t too physically attracted to you at first BUT becomes more emotionally connected to you and bonds with you (intimately and sexually) you WILL become more physically attracted to you.

Likewise – your PERSONALITY – regardless of your overall look CAN AND WILL MAKE YOU APPEAR MORE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE.

This is good news because it gives you just as much opportunity as he does in making you FEEL something even though nothing was there in the beginning.

Does it fully answer the BIG question today?

Can you CHANGE a guy’s mind into “liking” you if any of those scenarios have happened to you or you’re going through something “different”?

NOPE!

Why?

Because you must get away from changing his mind.

Remember – you can not convince someone to feel something for you and attraction in all its form is not something which is chosen… it is FELT!

You can not change his mind BUT…

Do the right things and you CAN make him start to FEEL something for you.

If all other things are in place and you learn the right skills to make that happen.

Obviously it’s not guaranteed to work on 100% of all guys in every situation but it can and does happen.

Just like you might not have felt something for a guy you knew and then months or years down the road he started to feel it – the same goes for him.

Lots of guys have personally wrote to me to tell me that they didn’t experience anything more than a friendship with a woman and slowly, over time BEGAN to have real deep feelings for her.

It’s TOTALLY possible so it can be work.

In all the scenarios above you can get him to “feel” something different BUT it does require some work and since this about people, there’s never a guarantee it will work.

You might end up wasting a lot of  your valuable time with nothing to show for it and each situation requires a different technique or skill or communication style.

Thanks for stopping by today and I do hope you’ve learned something about men you can use.

Remember this WAS written for guys to leave their opinion and if that’s you AND you have a story, comment, or opinion on if a woman can change your mind – please share it below.

Since the transition to making DiaLteG TM just for men I strongly encourage and suggest you take a good look at my “only for women” – “all about guys” website appropriately named  Why Do Guys…?

You’ll find lots of great stuff on understanding men there.

Share It With The World!

About the author: Hey I’m Pete – (Peter White) – I run whydoguys.com for women and DiaLteG TM for guys like you. Simply put – I know WOMEN and what it’s going to take to get you the woman of your dreams. It’s a lot easier than you think – so stop thinking so much and start DOING what it takes because the answer you seek is right here.

Please LIKE or SHARE my Facebook fan pages: DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Find and follow me on Twitter – Peter White.

The article is posted in these Categories: Her Friends Zone – Getting In, Getting Out, and Staying Out

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84 comments… add one
  • Sherry

    I’ve recently struggled with Scenario 4. We have a mutual friend who introduced us. He persued me by texting me all day long. Even called me (like he couldn’t wait to talk to me) on his lunch break from work. We talked/chatted on the phone till the wee hours of the morning for nearly a week. We ended up sharing and opening up to the matters of the heart. He told me what I as a woman wanted to hear..things like “you’re so beautiful” and “perfect” and then he even admitted he “considered” me at one point as “the one”. He even told me that he loved me a few times. Then sometimes I hear the “as a sister” part. He thought I was younger than he is. I’m actually a few years older and I think it may have thrown him a curveball there. He wants to have another baby and he is in his mid 40’s. His body language tells me his is attracted to me, but yet, he says he wants to be friends but more… now after this conversation he stops all communication with me except seeing him at church only on Sundays. I don’t know what happened. We haven’t talked in a month now. I’m giving him space, but have no idea how to recover or how to respond or what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

    • Peter White

      Sherry, sounds like he is confused or what you wrote is confusing because some things are missing.

      In one sentence he’s telling you he is physically attracted to you AND in other way saying he loves you like a sister says he’s not feeling any sexual feeling towards you – which would be very important.

      The fact that he appears to be giving you lots of mixed signals tells me he’s not convinced (and/or might’ve thought or did use you for the possibility of just sex) …. so, when a man is feeling it or isn’t convinced fully you’ll get lots of mixed signals.

      Which means – he’s not into you as much as he says he is.

      Take the time to read the ebook attached above. It might not help you to fully change your situation BUT after reading it – there will be some major clues as to what went wrong for you.

      https://www.dialteg.org/visit/Why-Men-Wont-Commit.pdf

      Lastly – my personal opinion – if a guy is giving you too many mixed signals, is not convinced, or is not fully into you, or is saying one thing but acting another way – as in your case – give him so much space that you erase him from ever being a potential boyfriend/husband and continue to look for a man who will not confuse you.

      Best of luck,
      Pete

    • Jade

      If you dated a guy before but things went south due to lack of communication and insecurities:needi and he says let’s just be friends, is there a chance that things can work out in the future ?

  • Astrid

    Dated a guy about six weeks and he seemed really into me and full on. Saying I was amazing, intelligent, beautiful, all the things he had been looking for but didn’t think he’d find. Although he was moving quickly and asked me to his girlfriend after three dates, I decided to go for it and started to fall for him too. The difficulty is this all happened shortly after his mum’s death, but initially the grief hadn’t hit him yet. The day of his mum’s funeral was when he asked me to be his girlfriend over text. I did say yes but in my mind I called it “dating” but wasn’t going to say no on such a sad day for him. Unfortunately a few days later he texted that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship and felt numb and just not interested. I was gutted, but understood and left him alone for about five days before texting again. He had said to let him have a think as he didn’t know he would feel like this. When I texted him he was grateful and thanked me for waiting for him and he was “back in” and full on again. For a few days. Over the next few weeks it has been on and off with me treading carefully as I really like him and worried about losing him, but understanding that he just doesn’t feel like himself at the moment. He ended it a week ago and said he just wasn’t ready and just wants to be alone. It is only two months since his mum died suddenly and he just didn’t think he would feel like this. It was nothing to do with me, I was amazing and we ended the phonecall with him promising he wouldn’t go back on dating sites, but that when he felt ready to date again he would get back in touch. He told me not to wait for him as he didn’t know if it would be two weeks or six months. I’m now counting the days and can’t stop thinking about him. I am aware that he may not get back in touch at all, and also that I should not have got so invested in a guy so quickly, who’s now pulled away. Also the fact that he “ghosted me” twice during the six weeks (for about four days each time) and would eventually respond to a text is a worry to me, as I find sudden silence quite hard to deal with. I’m now NOT texting him anymore and just hoping and praying he’ll get back in touch as I think we are a great match in so many ways. In the mean time I’m keeping busy with friends, carrying on exercising and thinking of new things I can try and do. And try to find someone else, even if only to stop me obsessing over this one (amazing) guy.
    Will be come back to me one day is what I keep thinking?

    • Peter White

      Astrid,

      My gut tells me no. He will not come back to you in a normal or reasonable amount of time. And if and when he does – you’ll get much of the same stuff you’ve been getting from him all along.

      He’s not ready or capable of being in a real relationship and that may never happen.

      On the side – if you wait for him – if he believes you’re waiting for him – if he feels like you’re available at any time he wishes – he will NEVER value you enough to ever fully commit. There’s no real challenge there. There’s not encouragement for him to want more with you.

      All that combined with so much more leads me to say – remove him from your life and do whatever you can to replace him with a better guy who IS ready and capable and in the right mental state to be in a relationship.

      All the best,
      Pete

  • Taelor Lee

    Went on 2 dates with this guy. He expressed in the beginning how important a sexual relationship is forhim, ive only had sex with one person and was a but reserved, but open if he was boyfriend material.

    3 times, we had a text miscommunication. He barely texts and when he does, he sends very short ones. I assumed he was probably talking to multiple women and just looking for sex and reacted from that angle. Yikes.

    On our second date, he was with a group of 15 friends from out if town (all girls) and left them for about 3 hours to spend time with me. Because one of our miscommunications happened right before I saw him, the date started off odd but leveled out. He asked me to get breakfast with him the next day at the end of the date. We planned to sleep with each other that night, but we were both staying with friends and couldn’t make it happen.

    The next day, he told me I’m not a good fit for him and that he wishes me all the best.

    Now that I know he’s actually a stand up guy who just has a weak texting game, I realize I killed this. Is there any chance that I can get him to change his mind a few months down the road?

    • Peter White

      There’s (as stated above) no real definitive answer to your problem because there’s no guarantee you’ll get him to change his mind or feel something more for you than a strong physical desire.

      With that said – do not EVER start a sexual relationship with a guy IF you’re looking for something more. It’s not how long-term relationships start.

      Please read this to help you understand more about sleeping with a guy too early when you’re looking for more:

      Before You Sleep With Him, Read This
      http://archive.aweber.com/whydoesaguy/5Rj3l/h/Before_You_Sleep_With_Him_Read.htm

      My whole take on your situation (of course based on what you wrote and my years of experience) tells me you were absolutely right n the first place – he was only looking for sex and nothing more. He’s not a stand up guy with a weak texting game. You didn’t kill it. He ended it because he wasn’t getting what he wanted out of it.

      Listen – whenever a guy tells you this early on – “He expressed in the beginning how important a sexual relationship is for him” that simply his way of saying sex comes first before a relationship and since that’s not how you start a long-term healthy relationship – it doesn’t work.

      It’s just his way of saying I only want to have sex with you for a while and then maybe – something more will happen. It’s usually a guy’s way of making you think it’s your fault if it doesn’t work out UNLESS you sleep with him.

      Most (probably the vast majority) of men WANT a physical sexual relationship with a woman, so when a guy is telling you that early on – something is very wrong. It does not need to be said.

      Hope that helps you out a bit and please – stay away from him and NEVER let any guy convince you that you must have sex before he’s willing to move forward.

      All the best,
      Pete

  • Alex

    I really like this guy and want to date him. Problem is, he doesn’t want to date me as we have different lifestyles. For example, he is super active and likes fitness, hiking and being outdoors. While I find fitness important, I don’t like hiking and being outdoors. I also like to sleep a lot (it depends on the day).

    He even went into talking about people having different tastes, likes, hates and so on. He also used pizza metaphors. And at one point, mentioned people liking others and the other person never liking them back. He also mentioned that he doesn’t know what the future holds, or something of the like.

    He also mentioned that we don’t click like that, and mentioned he wouldn’t tell me his standards because I might try and change into a person I’m not.

    This man is very patient and helpful with me, and I really want to be with him. How do I get him to change his mind?

  • Athena

    So I met this guy a few weeks ago we barely have talked but my friends keep trying to get us together and he is starting to get frustrated and made a rude comment about me to get them to leave him alone but quickly came over to me and apologized and told me he thinks I’m sending them to talk to him and it is annoying even though I have made it clear to my friends I don’t want them involved and I am afraid that I am loosing my opportunity because of this and I don’t know what to do …….help

  • Kelsey

    I had a kid with a guy I never dated, one night thing. It’s been 2 years and I would say he has at least some physical attraction because he often says he wants sex, but I want to be with him (date). He says there is no spark for him – likely because he only knows pregnant, hormonal me and new mom high anxiety me. I want to create that spark, and distance myself, give myself a new look, give it time etc… but I have to see him 1-2 times a week at drop off/pick up with our kid and we talk almost daily. Can these steps still work? I’m just looking for my one chance with him!

    • Kelsey,

      First – there are no guarantees in dating but there are ALWAYS possibilities. SO that’s good news I suppose.

      Second – Not knowing HIS definition of spark makes things rather difficult. It could be anything from attraction to connection. I’d assume in your specific case it could be a little of both but MAINLY the connection. Since you’re not really in a position to get his definition without appearing pushy and make him feel like you’re chasing him – it’s not wise to discuss that matter with him.

      Third – Physical attraction can not be assumed just because a guy wants sex. Sure it’s likely but not reliable. However it’s not all about physical attraction for a guy – it’s about connection.

      Fourth – You must look deeper into this one night stand, how it happened, why it happened, what transpired after, as in did he call you, contact you, further his pursuit of wanting something more with you? All should give you clues as to where he stands with you and what his initial intentions really were. AND if it’s worth pursuing AND…

      You must explore WHY you’re doing it. Is it about who he is? Is it about wanting the original Father in the family? Explore the real reasons objectively because you do NOT want to go down this path for anything other than REAL TRUE LOVE because eventually you’ll realize it and regret the decision.

      Fifth – the bad news is – most men are terribly and deeply afraid of getting in a relationship with the wrong woman. It’s a big reason why they hold back, why it takes them so long, and why they’re unwilling to move forward even when things seems to be going great.

      It would be sad to say but must be noted: It might feel like to him that getting involved with someone deeper that he would always feel like he did it because you had a child together and obviously love and connection were not part of that one night stand.

      Now all that is out of the way… I will say NO, don’t do what is listed because your situation is different and removing yourself will most likely have a negative affect on him, you, and the child.

      Once you’ve explored all the points above objectively – what I would focus on is your CONNECTION with him. You have all the opportunity to do so because you’re talking everyday and you share something most don’t early on in dating.

      The connection must get past all the points above because they contain his objections to dating you. 

      The connection must also create something new.

      AND yes – it’s easier said than done. 

      Unfortunately I’m not your coach. What I can give you here is merely an answer to a comment and not an easy one-stop solution to your problem because there isn’t one.

      AND since DiaLTeG TM is dedicated to men and this is one of the last few articles left for women here – I’d head over to Why Do Guys…? (my site for women) start learning about men and what truly attracts them and how they connect with women and THAT will certainly get you headed in a better direction than what is listed in this post.

      All the best,

      Pete

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