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Inside His Heart – Can A Woman Change Our Minds Or Make Us Like Her?

in For Women, Teaching
Is his mind going to change about liking you?

There seems to be a common belief out there among us who have been “friend zoned” that we can change the other person’s mind into liking us.

Man or woman, most of have experienced this question personally and have wondered whether we can change how the opposite sex feels about us.

Since I’m a guy, here is my take on all this with hopefully some other guys will leave their ideas below.

So first…

Let’s put this question out there once and for all. Lets dispel the myth or satisfy the large amounts of women who come here looking for a way out of the friend’s zone.

It doesn’t matter what the reasons are for you not liking her. We’ll get into mine below.

It doesn’t matter if you liked her for a while and then found someone else.

It doesn’t matter if you “friended” her because you found her physically unattractive but you tried to get past it.

It doesn’t matter if you turned her down because you don’t like the way her mother was looking at you.

I want your answers!

“It’s generally accepted that it’s easier to change how SHE feels about us than it is for us guys to start feeling something for her.”

Here are 4 scenarios we might experience with a woman where she might wonder if she could ever make us feel something for her:

Scenario 1: You meet her.

You both go out on a date one or more times.

You realize you’re not feeling it. Maybe she’s kind of cool and all so you wouldn’t mind hanging out with her so you tell her,

I just want to be friends.

Could she ever change your mind?

Scenario 2: You meet her.

She’s totally into you and you begin to think, “You’re in.

She’s hot and sexy and does it for you physically.

There’s no doubt in your mind that you want her so the chemistry rises and you end up having sex one or more times.

Then suddenly you begin to feel if you let this go any further you will end up in a relationship with her and that’s not something you sure you want.

You pull back and stop calling her so much or stop calling her entirely.

You just feel you’re not ready and she is pushing you. You pull back even further until eventually you tell her, “I like you but I don’t want to hurt you.”

Could she ever change your mind into wanting a relationship with her?

Scenario 3: You meet her.

You don’t feel physically attracted to her.

She’s seems really into you and keeps pushing you to go out with her or she flirts with you constantly hoping you’ll get the hint.

But you never do for obvious reasons…

Could she ever get you to feel what you were missing when you first met her?

Scenario 4: You meet her with a friend.

She’s pretty cool and you end up hanging out with her more and doing shit together.

You both quickly realize you have a lot in common. In fact you have so much in common you end up becoming very close friends.

Months or years down the road you have “the talk” because you both have been in and out of so many relationships since you met and it’s driving both of you crazy.

She casually mentions,

Have you ever thought about us going out?” or

“How come we never hooked up?” or

How come you never asked me out on a date?

This surprises you and as you think about her questions you realize she is more like a sister to you so you tell her and she accepts it outwardly…

But inside, deep in her heart, that WAS the VERY moment she realized she had fallen in love with you and now wants more.

Could she ever change your mind about seeing her less as a sister and more as a sexual partner?

T is not a survey. We’re not going to click on some pre-selected box which may or may not be close to what we were or are feeling.

Leave your answers below and let women finally get a glimpse into the mind of “the guy” who either chose to be just friends with her or who was just never feeling it for her.

Okay now it’s my turn…

Here are some of the reasons I have chosen to be just friends with women… In order:

I was not physically attracted to her. She just didn’t turn me on. She didn’t excite me enough to feel anything more or different for her.

She lacks the ability to have fun. She’s rude at first and playful later. She reminds me of an unhappy cashier who is always having a bad day. (She hates her job but chooses to do nothing about it.) She has lost her ability to let go and forget about how the world sees her.

She has a negative outlook on life. She is surrounded by drama and thrives on it. She avoids reality by living through someone else’s life.

She lacks confidence and always looks to others to solve her esteem problems. if she is looking for support I’m all for it. If she’s looking for someone to lean on when she is feeling down, I’m okay with it.

But I just can not spend time working on HER inner game. Honestly and seriously – that is HER problem!

Can a woman change my mind in these cases?

Probably not.

The absolute truth is… If I just don’t feel it, that is NOT going to change unless at least 3 things happen:

1. We don’t see each other for at least a few months maybe even more maybe even a few years.

Three to five months may be enough because we all go through stages in our lives that play out over that time. Depending on where we are and what happens around us.

2. In that time she develops or changes how she appears physically.

It could mean losing weight, changing her hair color, dressing differently, or even just learning how to walk with more sex appeal.

It any case though this must be done according to her life and not mine. I will not feel any more physically attracted to a woman who changes her appearance to compete with other women or to compete for my affection, attention, or even my love.

I just don’t want a woman who is willing to give up who she is for me.

3. She changes her approach or attitude about herself and the life she is living.

This could get me to see her in a new light. A more positive attitude perhaps. Learning how to flirt would be another way.

Since we’re being so truthful here – the attraction must be there or be brought out very close to the first meeting or the odds of me (or I suppose any other guy) changing our minds go down drastically.

If you have a story or a comment or a reason yourself… STOP!

Leave it below because me and hopefully ALL women who visit this post want to hear about it…

Can A Woman Ever Change Your Mind Into Liking Her and How Much Does It Have To Do With The First Attraction Being There Or Not?

For more answers on men, please visit my other half –>Why Do Guys…? Lots of great answers on why us guys do the things we do.

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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74 comments… add one
  • Sherry

    I’ve recently struggled with Scenario 4. We have a mutual friend who introduced us. He persued me by texting me all day long. Even called me (like he couldn’t wait to talk to me) on his lunch break from work. We talked/chatted on the phone till the wee hours of the morning for nearly a week. We ended up sharing and opening up to the matters of the heart. He told me what I as a woman wanted to hear..things like “you’re so beautiful” and “perfect” and then he even admitted he “considered” me at one point as “the one”. He even told me that he loved me a few times. Then sometimes I hear the “as a sister” part. He thought I was younger than he is. I’m actually a few years older and I think it may have thrown him a curveball there. He wants to have another baby and he is in his mid 40’s. His body language tells me his is attracted to me, but yet, he says he wants to be friends but more… now after this conversation he stops all communication with me except seeing him at church only on Sundays. I don’t know what happened. We haven’t talked in a month now. I’m giving him space, but have no idea how to recover or how to respond or what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

  • Yukta

    We are in 11th different sections now but were friends from 2-3 years ..I confessed him by giving a letter through common friend..he felt awkward to know bciz he had no idea before and was confused…he though said yes but in asking further by other friends that they are not forcing him..he said no!!
    I again gave him a letter after 2 months..this time he asked his friends his to react..as he has not faced this kinda situation and while confronting shyly said that he wants to give it a chance but in asking again after 2 days nodded a no!!
    Since then we didn’t face each other..for about 4-5 months but his friend usedbti ttease him and he also brought the letter to read that u gave him..he still has kept that safe…when our common friend befire few days said him that he has done wrong he said that he feels guilt for what he did!! He also said to his friend when he asked him the reason that he didn’t saw me that way!! And that he is bakchod!
    Before some days we both talked and decided to be friend again!!

    I love him and want to know is there any chance or even if its not can we be friends better than before and how..shud we rake the things..?
    Will he never see me in different way and can j never know him more..?? Please..we have only one tear left in same. Sxhool and I din”t wanna lose him

  • Astrid

    Dated a guy about six weeks and he seemed really into me and full on. Saying I was amazing, intelligent, beautiful, all the things he had been looking for but didn’t think he’d find. Although he was moving quickly and asked me to his girlfriend after three dates, I decided to go for it and started to fall for him too. The difficulty is this all happened shortly after his mum’s death, but initially the grief hadn’t hit him yet. The day of his mum’s funeral was when he asked me to be his girlfriend over text. I did say yes but in my mind I called it “dating” but wasn’t going to say no on such a sad day for him. Unfortunately a few days later he texted that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship and felt numb and just not interested. I was gutted, but understood and left him alone for about five days before texting again. He had said to let him have a think as he didn’t know he would feel like this. When I texted him he was grateful and thanked me for waiting for him and he was “back in” and full on again. For a few days. Over the next few weeks it has been on and off with me treading carefully as I really like him and worried about losing him, but understanding that he just doesn’t feel like himself at the moment. He ended it a week ago and said he just wasn’t ready and just wants to be alone. It is only two months since his mum died suddenly and he just didn’t think he would feel like this. It was nothing to do with me, I was amazing and we ended the phonecall with him promising he wouldn’t go back on dating sites, but that when he felt ready to date again he would get back in touch. He told me not to wait for him as he didn’t know if it would be two weeks or six months. I’m now counting the days and can’t stop thinking about him. I am aware that he may not get back in touch at all, and also that I should not have got so invested in a guy so quickly, who’s now pulled away. Also the fact that he “ghosted me” twice during the six weeks (for about four days each time) and would eventually respond to a text is a worry to me, as I find sudden silence quite hard to deal with. I’m now NOT texting him anymore and just hoping and praying he’ll get back in touch as I think we are a great match in so many ways. In the mean time I’m keeping busy with friends, carrying on exercising and thinking of new things I can try and do. And try to find someone else, even if only to stop me obsessing over this one (amazing) guy.
    Will be come back to me one day is what I keep thinking?

  • Taelor Lee

    Went on 2 dates with this guy. He expressed in the beginning how important a sexual relationship is forhim, ive only had sex with one person and was a but reserved, but open if he was boyfriend material.

    3 times, we had a text miscommunication. He barely texts and when he does, he sends very short ones. I assumed he was probably talking to multiple women and just looking for sex and reacted from that angle. Yikes.

    On our second date, he was with a group of 15 friends from out if town (all girls) and left them for about 3 hours to spend time with me. Because one of our miscommunications happened right before I saw him, the date started off odd but leveled out. He asked me to get breakfast with him the next day at the end of the date. We planned to sleep with each other that night, but we were both staying with friends and couldn’t make it happen.

    The next day, he told me I’m not a good fit for him and that he wishes me all the best.

    Now that I know he’s actually a stand up guy who just has a weak texting game, I realize I killed this. Is there any chance that I can get him to change his mind a few months down the road?

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