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11 Steps On How To Get A Girlfriend – The Five Rule Introduction

You want a girlfriend who is better and hotter than anything you’ve ever experienced before. You’re not just into beauty and looks, although it’s not something you want to dismiss, you also want her personality to be amazing and easy to get along with. Totally understandable.

You just want to  be with quite possibly the girl of your dreams and up until now, it’s hasn’t worked out for you. Sorry to hear, been there myself.

Good news! You’ve come to the right place.

Here’s my exact strategy on how to get an amazing hot girlfriend. This has taken me a lifetime full of experiences with the opposite sex to figure it all out and you get it in 11 steps.

But let’s keep things in perspective. Let’s understand all of what you’re going through, have been through, and what it means to finding that great girlfriend…

When a guy is single for way too long AND he begins to question his ability to find the right girlfriend for him there’s a good chance the depression he feels can cloud his vision.

Call it a “fog of loneliness”.

It will hide the truth from you. It will cause you to act from a very limited belief system. It will have you believe “logic” is going to solve all your problems with women.

It will even get you stuck on one woman for way too long when you should be out looking for someone else.

But worst of all – it makes you believe you’re just not destined to be with a “hotter” girl which I firmly believe could NOT be further from the truth.

The “Fog Of Loneliness” is a very real thing you can not ignore but it’s NOT impossible to overcome so  before we get to the steps, and for all these steps to work, there are some guidelines or rules you must follow.

This is where my “life-time” experience comes in handy. “Been there. Done that.” and I firmly believe these guidelines or “rules” are very important to your success as they were to mine too.

These rules are in part, a way to break through the “fog of loneliness” so you can begin to think more clearly and reach even your most troublesome goals.

RULE 1: Take full responsibility for your part in everything.

Responsible Man Alone Single

Everyone has a list of things they “could’ve, should’ve or would’ve ‘s.”

The decisions you made either stopped your dreams from becoming reality or for one reason or another, you probably always let yourself or some outside “event” get in your way.

Taking responsibility in part means to stop placing blame on others. It’s not her fault, his fault, or anyone else’s fault but your own; if you have yet managed to date a hot girl or find one to be your girlfriend.

Blaming something is useless, counter-productive, and honestly… very unattractive. It’s hard to get an amazing girlfriend when things are “never” your fault.

Don’t take that to heart. Simply own up to where you’re at right now so you can put it ALL behind you.

The responsibility I had to take before I was able to proceed to dating success was many things:

  • I wasn’t objectifying myself (seeing things the way they really were)
  • I blamed women for MY problems, I blamed other guys for using techniques or tactics I thought were below me
  • I refused to change myself thinking if women don’t like me for who I was, then why should I change.
  • I wouldn’t take an active role in my dating life. Instead of getting up and doing something about, it was just easier to bitch about it and submerse myself in hobbies.

You may have to take some of the same and may come up with different ones.

But you must do it.

Doing so is a big part of building your self-esteem and if you want a real high quality girlfriend with a healthy self-esteem (which true me you do) then you must also have one yourself… or else it’s NEVER going to work.

The very bold but reality of attracting women is: You will NEVER attract or get an amazing girlfriend and keep her around UNLESS you have a healthy self-esteem.

There’s nothing I can do about that fact but it’s all good. We’re going to work on that as much as we can.

This rule will help you achieve confidence and self-esteem which are two very important factors in getting a hot girlfriend.

RULE 2: Accept when you see a guy with a very hot women he could be the greatest guy in the world or he could be the worst.

Hot Sexy Couple Boyfriend Girlfriend

This rule is here because, and this is coming from my real experiences as a nice guy, we tend to judge couples all too often when we feel like we can not get a girlfriend.

We look at the girl, we see the guy she’s with, and we automatically assume he must be a jerk – and we don’t even know him, her, or how the relationship even got started.

Which is not a good thing IF you want to be a real attractive guy.

Accept what she sees in him is beyond your control and nothing you do, say, or believe has anything to do with him or them at all.

Refrain from judging your “opponents” negatively the best you can. Judgments are a waste of time and only contribute to the “fog”.

Time to get past all the negative shit and just accept it – she’s with him and not you and you’re not privy to their relationship. It has NOTHING to do with you and your relationships (or lack there of) and it’s a total waste of time to think negatively about it or them.

This rule will help you grow your self-esteem, become a more positive person, eliminate any beliefs you might have which are stopping you from becoming the most attractive guy you can be.

RULE 3: Allow yourself to see and notice all truths behind any situation or dynamic social event.

Party Fun Social Aware Out

Sometimes you have to sit back, listen, and watch men who are better at this stuff and actually allow yourself to be happy for them. Sincerely wish them the best of luck.

You don’t have to respect him but you must allow yourself to learn from any guy who you see is “better than you with women.”

While sometimes it’s best to get right in there, other times it’s better to objectify or take notice of certain cues from the outside.

The point of  this rule is to become totally aware socially. It’s time to open you eyes and see what is really happening underneath it all.

This rules is here to help you SEE, learn, and objectify what it really happening around you. Becoming more socially aware will help you see past and much deeper behind the reality of how attraction works.

RULE 4: Get yourself actively involved with changing the outcome of your life.

Prepare Active Change Life

You might feel uncomfortable once in a while…

You may have to face some long-held fears…

But you MUST be willing to start doing things differently.

Now you could come up with any reason you want which will keep you going because that might not matter – but you must be committed to making changes. Period.

In other words, you have to see things to the end or there’s little chance you’ll get there. You can change the end. You can enjoy the ride and change your final goals. That’s okay.

But whatever path your on make sure you give it an honest and respectable attempt.

Make yourself ready and be prepared to do things and say things you’ve never done before. If you’re not seriously committed, not much of this is going to help you get a girlfriend.

This is a process and learn to love the process, not the goal, and you WILL achieve it BUT again, you must get ACTIVELY involved in changing yourself, your situation, by any and all means necessary.

This rule is here to energize you, get you ready, have you understand there’s work coming up BUT also that the work is worth it. Success in this area of finding a girlfriend ( a hot quality one too) will make all the hard work worth it.

RULE 5: Never ever under any circumstance allow yourself to settle for one woman – chase one woman – dream of one woman – until you have complete confidence in your competence in many areas.

Women Group Hot Sexy Dont Settle

It could take a year or two and it probably will but you must keep the last goal above all else.

Let’s say you land some hot girl by your side and she’s seems really into you – without blowing it entirely with you (you can keep her around to date) but until you’re ready do NOT settle down with her.

There is a purpose to this rule.

Enjoy the ride along every step. Get it all out of your system. Experience every piece of success for everything it has to offer.

If you settle too early it’s highly likely you’re going to screw it up sooner or later anyways. Getting a girlfriend is NOT getting the next “hot” girlfriend you see.

Part of this “prep work” is to lay the foundation for a lifetime of success with women. If you settle too quickly you WILL revert back to your older self and you WILL lose the girl and then have to start all over again.

I’m not saying you have to fuck a bunch of chics and add them to your number, merely stating UNTIL you are ready – do NOT commit to one woman. Do NOT chase ONE woman. Do NOT do this to land the one hot chic you’ve been dreaming of and chasing half your life. You want out of the friends zone – go here.

If you want the hottest girl you’ve ever met, who you haven’t met yet to be your girlfriend sometime in the future, stay here.

This rule is here to make sure you don’t just settle for that first girl. To assure you’re not chasing anymore. To assure you WILL be ready when the time and the right woman comes along.

T rules above are simple to state but understandably can be difficult follow 100%.

Hey!!! It’s okay.

I hate to say it but just do your best. When you experience a setback there’s another day coming to start again or to pick up the pieces when you fucked up.

We’re NOT changing the world here and it’s obvious since the beginning of time men have managed to land some pretty amazing and yes beautiful women too. It’s unimaginable and hard to believe every one of them got everything right all the time from the beginning.

And I’m willing to bet some of them were dumb as rocks and others would makes us look dumb as rocks.

So DON’T  worry about it! You’ll make mistakes. It will happen.

Learn from it – always see the bigger picture – and find a way to continually move forward.

These rules and the steps must be followed even if it means your process takes a little longer than some other guy who is moving quicker. In the end, when all the dust and fog settles you’ll thank me for it even if you hate me along the way and that’s okay because I can take it.

Yes there is some more bad news. The last thing I want to do is mislead you…

My intention is not to “fool” you into believing your “education” won’t cost you something. Be it money, sweat, or work.

The steps I’m going to lay out for you is not some massive course that you can follow to avoid doing the real work involved. What will be covered is just a step above the basics but they do work.

I hate to call them basics because I didn’t spend years of my life alone for my plan to be reduced to basics. But there is “leg work” involved. You’ll have to explore certain details for yourself whether it’s through me or not.

For example:

I was great at talking to women but terrible at attractively communicating with them – so for me I needed a deeper education on how I talked to them.

However my body language was close just not quite right, so I only needed to refine and tweak it a little for it to work.

The same goes for you – if at any step or stage you feel more work is needed then please explore ALL your options.

Don’t trust me to tell you everything about everything. Don’t trust I have the single power alone to magically transform you into a “chic magnet” when one of my steps doesn’t offer “enough” for your personal experience.

I’m being completely honest with you.

If I had ALL your answers I’d probably be a prick about it and charge you as much as I could. Seriously, there are people who are better than me at teaching you very specific details you might need. In fact most of them taught me.

These steps DO work and I’m more than confident about it because I’ve seen it work. I’ve practiced it all myself AND I’ve studied and objectified many of my experiences so I can clearly see what was really going on…. despite how lonely I felt.

We only have to admit that sometimes outside help is unavoidable and I wouldn’t be where I am today and if I didn’t take that help or find the right advice I needed at the right time by the right people.

Here are the rules or guidelines again:

  •  Take full responsibility for YOUR part in everything.
  • Accept other couples or men and women for as it is.
  • See and notice all truths behind any situation or dynamic social event.
  • Get yourself actively involved with changing the outcome of your life.
  • Do NOT settle, chase, dream of one woman – until you have complete confidence in your competence in many areas.

About the author: Peter White – I can help you find, meet, and attract your ideal woman for a real relationship. Live your life the way you want to with purpose and fun. Build a mindset that is free and positive. Learn the truths about attraction. When you can do that – the woman of YOUR CHOICE will gladly join you.


Dave here I like the way you communicate, it makes me think. I am what I call a thinker, meaning I am always consciously thinking about something, usually a project or a future project how to proceed about things. But for some reason I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL anyway You make me think in ways I haven’t before and it is making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. If you want to feel free to use this letter.
Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen
2 comments… add one
  • Danial Pervaiz

    thank you for this article. i’ve tried a lot to get a gf. but im an introvert. what should i do differently so i can get noticed?

    • Peter White

      You’re welcome and thank you for asking.

      First of all – change your mindset. Stay away from thinking you must get noticed. That will only put you on the opposite side of where you are – you’ll risk becoming a show off or a guy who feels they need to impress a woman to get her to feel attracted to you.

      Work on the problem at hand and take women OUT of the equation. Which means you need to explore the reasons why you’re introverted. Most likely it’s because of social communication skills, lack of self-esteem, not feeling confident enough around others, and the mindset that you NEED to DO something to get noticed… and you don’t have to DO anything.

      I was introverted for years. Shy around women. Always keeping to a few close friends.

      My way out was simple – I started putting myself in situations which were quite scary and literally forced myself to overcome my lack of social skills. It’s brutal but it works. Once that happened I paid close attention to social interactions and learned what was really happening underneath it all. With that knowledge I reached out to others to help better my communication skills and quite quickly my old introverted ways disappeared almost entirely. I still like me quiet time with my family and make sure that happens – but going out and mingling and making friends has its place and I do make the effort to continually do it. I balance it all the best I can.

      To overcome your introverted ways – first – figure out why you’re like that, what are your fears around others, why do feel feel you need to get noticed, are you trying to please others and feel you have nothing to offer, do you not feel good enough, those are the questions you need to start asking yourself because within your personal answers is your way out.

      Trying to get noticed won’t work the way you think it will.

      Trust me – when you’re a stand up guy, when you’re passionate about your life and you’re interested in living it, people (which does include women) will WANT to know about it and they’ll want you to share it with them. Communicate your life story to them in a way which is humble, fun, and interested (and creates a little attraction in women) and the right people WILL notice.

      Hope that helps you a little and all the best to you,

      Make sure you read step 3 because it’s ALL about developing a social life and getting out.


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