There are too many men who are afraid of their sexy side. They hide it from women probably because we’ve seen way too jerks or scumbags use it to screw women over.
Who knows, if you’re hiding it you probably have your own reasons.
Perhaps you just don’t believe you actually could be sexy because you’ve fallen for the media’s portrayal of a sexy guy. Or maybe we think it’s just for women or having “sex appeal” is reserved for models, celebrities, and the tall, dark and handsome…
THAT could not be further from the truth.
Being sexy is NOT about how you look to a certain extent.
Step 6 of “11 Steps on How to Get a Hot Girlfriend“ is about becoming a sexy guy in every way using every available resource we can find.
Apart from everything else which builds us into an attractive man – being sexy is just an attitude without specific fears.
A common fear which stops so many of us from tapping into our sexy side is a fear of being judged as just another pig out to get laid.
The truth is – women are going to judge you either way. Not all of them to a degree but enough to where if you care too much about it, you’re going to have fears around them.
We can do everything right with women and the truth will always remain – no matter what you do or say some women will always put you on a list you may not like being on.
Whether it’s the too nice to date list, the just friends list, the jerk category, or even the male chauvinistic pig list. Hot or not – she will always judge you dependent on who she is of course.
I’ve found the guys who get “hotter” girlfriends ( or the ones who are really good with women ) don’t really care about labels and they certainly don’t care what one woman might believe about them. They understand it’s beyond their control.
So, in a way – part of our real sexiness comes from not caring what others believe about us which is part of an indifferent attitude which make us sexy.
When you’re confident in your life…
When you value yourself highly…
When you stop trying to please others for personal gain or gratitude or respect…
When you’re not afraid of how your raw masculinity can turn on a woman so easily…
You become empowered and take full advantage of the valuable asset of this sexiness…
YOU become your own definition of what sexy is.
This lack of fear mentioned above also includes not ever fearing rejection or failure. How it’s always better (especially in attraction) to skillfully try than it to do nothing because you want her to see you a certain way because again, you have absolutely no control over it.
What’s listed above helps us achieve this indifferent attitude but there’s more to it.
Your body language indicates confidence and experience. You want open, relaxed movements. Take up some space and own it. That’s a piece of your sexy aura.
How you walk and hold yourself. Slow and easy like you’re free of all stress. Walk through life with purpose, direction, and no matter where you are or are going – you’re perfectly comfortable doing it.
Pretend the air around you is “stirred and not shaken” and any odd or overly nervous movements upsets the air and shakes it up. Stir it carefully but don’t be afraid of it. Be a part of it instead.
This let’s women breath or take in this sexy aura.
You can find more on sexual stuff like that and breaking the touch barrier in my Eliminate The Friends Zone Ebook: Sexual Chemistry and Identity Experiences
How you talk to a woman and how you make eye contact while you’re doing it. Choose your words almost too carefully.
A Naturally low voice, speak your words fully, and don’t get too excited. Shorter sentences with meaning, humor, wit, and ask more questions to which you actually care about the answer.
This is the beginning of sexual communication with women and is very important so we’re not seen as just eye candy or the sexy guy she wouldn’t dare approach because she’s too intimidated by us.
Relax your mouth. Always make soft but direct eye contact and hold it for a second or two. Slightly squint occasionally like you have things going on in your life.
Lead the conversations but allow her to talk more than you. Women LOVE to listen to a sexy guy talk and once she’s fallen for you she may want to listen for hours but until then, let her own emotional ups and down spike according to what she’s saying.
Another huge piece of sexual communication is how we flirt.
Rather than get into all those details I’ve picked up a preview to Flirt Mastery which ( even though is only a preview can and will help us discover and learn what flirting really is, how it’s connected to being sexy, and the myths too many of us believe about flirting.
Especially if we have fears around flirting in itself.
Another piece of being considered sexy is how we touch a woman in our early interactions and then of course how we seductively touch her intimately after she’s more than comfortable being around us.
Again we do this without the fear of being judged. The touch barrier must be broken early AND it must be done skillfully.
This is not an excuse to grope her but she has to understand beautiful women don’t scare us. This is an absolute requirement to finding, meeting, and actually having a “hot” girlfriend.
Women, especially the most beautiful ones, need to know, understand, and believe we’re so comfortable around them it’s almost scary exciting to her.
Remember most men bow down to these women. Most men get so nervous. They kiss their ass. They prove to her very quickly how uncomfortable they are just being close to her and she instantly classifies them as far from being sexy.
We must remain as calm as possible and never let her beauty affect us negatively to be considered the ultimate sexy guy she’s been looking for.
Here’s the thing about this sexiness we want to achieve…
It works best when it’s stabilized. It needs a foundation of beliefs and confidence for it to work amazingly well and with as little effort as possible.
The thing is you can’t TRY to be sexy – it just happens!
Keep all that in mind before you decide to throw some cheap tactics or false confidence or pretend to be sexy when you’re not.
Consider our “sexiness” is like quicksand. Focus on what I’ve listed above and just ALLOW it to happen. The more you struggle trying to make it happen the worst you’ll come off.
This “sexiness” we’re working will obviously help us get a girlfriend and it will also do this in our steps…
We want women to believe and see our life does not revolve getting in her pants but how getting in her pants is not something which is beyond us.
We want to gain almost immediate sexual respect from any woman we meet.
We want to break the touch barrier quicker than normal to let her know we’re more than comfortable being around a hotter woman and that we just seem to know how to use that touch even if it’s a simple cupping along the small of her back to guide her through a doorway.
They must see and believe how we’re also NOT into “giving us away” easily.
REAL sexy guys show enough restraint to tease the hell out of women. Delaying our gratification in this area is very important and women find that ability extremely sexy… especially the “hotter” ones who are used to guys who can not control themselves around her.
We want women to see and experience that we understand what it all really means to her and how important our sexy edge to her. Whether it’s through our words, our flirting, our sensual touch, or a playful keep away game with her. Everything counts here.
Keep yourself believing there’s more than one way to show your sexy side and how so much of it goes beyond how your look or outward appearance.
Remember above all else it’s an ATTITUDE. A way of life. The way we live our lives and how we move though it, make decisions, and confidently stand by our “real” beliefs.
This attitude will be covered in more details later because it’s highly important in every girlfriend step but for now remember this…
Our sexy side comes out best as a side effect when we allow ourselves to be come the definition of sexy… fearless, confidence, and dare I say it… the air around our sexy aura is always stirred and never shaken.
Two types of guys easily achieve “sexy” status: Alpha Men and The Bad Boy. Here’s a Webinar to watch titled Sexual Power and Confidence With Women to give you a glimpse into Alpha Sexual Power and a new piece about raising your testosterone. Watch it because it’s full of great info. Two more great deep inner works which can increase your “sexiness” was built by David DeAngelo. They are Power Sexuality – “How To Transform Yourself From A Man With No Sexual Confidence Into The Kind Of In Control Man That All Women Fantasize About” and Sexual Communication – “Want To Succeed With Women Like Most Men Can Only Dream About? Then Let Me Teach You The Fail-Proof Secret Language Of Sexual Communication.”