Your attitude towards life, yourself, and those around you including women is an integral part in landing a girlfriend. You don’t need a girlfriend by your side BUT having a personality that ATTRACTS women naturally is the one practically guaranteed way you’ll find, meet, and date ANY woman you want.
Making her you girlfriend is obviously and entirely up to you but since this is step 7 of the 11 steps on how to get a hot girlfriend, I’ll assume it’s a dominant goal you want to achieve.
Your attitude or personality is inherently YOU. This means you’re not replacing yourself. Sure you’ll have to rid yourself of the negative behaviors and beliefs which have held you back in the past but who you are, and who you’ll become is MORE than who you were.
This means you take your already wonderful traits – add to your life what has been covered so far in this series, and create an amazing attractive personality who knows HOW to communicate to women.
It’s a skill.
Your new revamped attitude with its already strong foundation will now feature, for all the lovely women to enjoy and admire along with you – pure Alpha Traits with a hint of real mystery.
These features draw women in and its up to you to lead them in any direction you wish to go.
(If you haven’t been following along – PLEASE go back now.)
Step 7 is about developing an attitude which conveys your greatest strengths as a mature masculine man.
It’s about being a modest REAL Alpha Man with a touch of the right mystery which in turn coneys the coolest person your future girlfriend has or will ever met.
I will warn – what’s covered today will come at you fast so be prepared. There’s no easy way to get it all out without writing a whole series of books.
First you must understand what being Alpha really is, then you must understand or learn the benefits of being a little mysterious and how much of it you should be (which gets the best results for you and attracting women), then, because retaining knowledge is one thing but communicating these incredibly attractive traits to women is something different and much harder to do – how to integrate it all into your life in the least amount of time.
(Wow that was a mouthful!)
The Alpha Male
There’s absolutely no reason for me to re-write something which has already been done very successfully so I’ll turn to Carlos Xuma for a quick list of what it really means to be Alpha.
- Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
- Fit (healthy lifestyle)
Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:
- Angry at women
- Verbally abusive
It means that you understand the basic primal reasons a woman is attracted to a man, and you’re not afraid to BE a man.
The list is basic but I’m positive you got the point. It should help you separate the myth from the facts about what being Alpha is and how that just because some guy is a brute jerk or asshole or people bend to his wishes because of that – does NOT make him a REAL TRUE Alpha Male.
Putting all that into practice in your everyday life can seem like an insurmountable goal… but it’s not. Piece by piece. Little by little. Action by action it will come to you.
But first – start with the above average basics of how you present yourself to the world.
These are thoughts you have, actions you take, a BELIEF system you should always carry with you and YES, it’s okay to fake it for a while. It’s perfectly acceptable to, until others things fall in place and they come naturally to you, to “pretend”.
Alpha Male Traits Explained
Imagine you can have ANY woman in the world and live it. You’re willing and more than obliged to give them a chance to work a little for you.
Beautiful “put-together” women will often have things handed to them everyday. They might even expect it. They might even rely on it. BUT you’re not one of those guys. You don’t give women or people an advantage or “special” treatment just because of their status or look.
Your new mindset (or attitude) begins with these famous words which literally changed my whole belief structure overnight. (Honestly, I went out immediately and started thinking this way and women NOTICED IMMEDIATELY!)
“How would you act if you knew that beyond the shadow of a doubt she was TOTALLY into you and wanted to be with you, but you weren’t that interested and decided to RELUCTANTLY give her a chance to hang out with you.”
Taken directly from Advanced Dating Techniques workbook page 36. That is an affiliate link to buy the program and NOT the actual workbook itself.
(Try it on women you come in contact with, don’t be overly confident or too cocky about it, well okay just a little at first and let me know how it works for you in the comment section below.)
One of a kind. Believe it. Not one person in this entire is world is exactly like you! Your experiences, your life adventures, what you’ve experienced, what you succeeded in, what you’ve failed at, are entirely YOU and not someone else and they never will be either.
Sure others may have some similar shit going on but that does not make them you.
Uniqueness is something which can NEVER be taken away from you.
Your mind, what goes on inside, all the thoughts you have, not one person on this planet will experience it and not one person has any rights or means to tap into your brain.
You’re smart enough and capable of doing whatever your heart desires along with achieving any goals you set out to accomplish.
Book smart, memorizing facts, regurgitating useful or non-useful information does not make someone smart. Hence your knowledge up until now are basically just things you’ve held on to for possible future use.
HOW you use that knowledge and in what way they are utilized, how you recover from your mistakes and failures, how you take even a small amount of information and change it into something amazing – makes you smart.
And that includes attracting women like you’ve never done before which, in case you didn’t know – includes your next girlfriend.
Life and all the obstacles you come into or appears to be thrown at you… bounce off you.
You’re not an “emotional” blank but you handle your problems with a matter of fact attitude that everything’s going to work out for you even when they don’t. You think, “Oh well.”
See the good.
Expect the good.
Don’t focus on what didn’t happen or how luck wasn’t with you, ONLY remember when good things did happen and how you were lucky or more appropriately fortunate that day.
You don’t settle for anything less than the best.
You’re not a perfectionist but you do work a little harder and smarter as mentioned in an earlier step for the better things in life –> Step 5 – She Wants A Guy Who Demonstrates People Skills And Gets More For Less
You have experience with “hotter” women. They’re an everyday part of your life not at all different than a fashion photographer. Which means you don’t act different around them. Covered in Step 4 The Benefits Of Becoming Friends With Hot Women But Follow The Rules.
Your “experience” in all this leads the attitude which is consistently held up by your personality. It reinforces your positive outlook on life and how you handle all of your experiences including the good and bad.
Settling to you is no better than giving up. More importantly in a “girlfriend” sense – settling for ANY woman is NOT fair and is cause to due unfair harm to another individual.
Not settling does NOT mean you’re strict, rude, or unbending.
It does not mean you don’t understand or know how to compromise.
It certainly does not make you believe or push the belief unto other that you are better than them.
You don’t settle or put up with “troubled” women or unnecessary drama but you don’t settle or fix those problems or difference of opinions by fighting or by force.
You know when to walk away, when to reject, when force may be acceptable and justified, but most importantly HOW it all can be achieved MATURELY.
You’re not over-demanding of others and expect them to care or even match you.
Those things are theirs alone and just like your value, your uniqueness is inherently you, you understand and relate to another persons same place in their world.
Just like they are not privy to your mind, you too are not privy to theirs. Put yourself in their shoes and just imagine their daily plight. EVERYONE suffers.
It does not give you reason to judge their choices – good or bad.
Don’t expect people to live up to YOUR expectations of yourself. Let them live, decide, or function on their ow terms. As they say, “to each their own”.
Assume, until proven otherwise, that people go about their lives trapped in their own bubble. Their actions, even when directed on you, may have little or nothing to do with you personally.
It’s not your job or responsibility to pop their bubble, or to assume you are responsible for them and their actions.
Only demand from yourself in the kindest way possible with what you would like and NEVER be too hard on yourself. It won’t solve anything. It will only delay good things from happening and make you a mess along the way.
When you see to achieve something, you find a real way to get achieve even if it means upsetting the balance in your life for the moment.
Your ambitions are not rated from a 1 to 10. If your goal today is just to get up, grab a bite to eat, watch some television, call your Mother, chat on your phone for a while, THEN DO IT!
Of course it’s probably not something you want to do everyday IF your aim is to achieve loftier goals BUT…
Don’t let anyone, anywhere, in any way EVER tell you that goal is not as important as the others.
STOP rating your goals. Just achieve them in the smartest way you can.
Tough one, isn’t it? Think about it. How do you tell someone to BE excited?
I suppose it’s not possible BUT what is possible is living your life in the way you choose that makes you excited. Don’t chase things or waste your time being miserable.
If something doesn’t excite you. STOP doing it. (Within reason of course.)
The best way to achieve excitement is to start becoming fascinated with the things around you and the life you lead. No matter what it is.
Find your passions. Live out even your simplest dreams.
Never let anyone else tell you that something which seems trivial or small to them is not good enough for you when you don’t feel the same way.
Excitement or being excited is the most purest and cost free energy out there. Use it to your advantage and use it everyday of your life under any circumstance you find yourself in.
Honor written in another way is… RESPECT.
Respect yourself. Respect others.
Understand anything and everything you get (physically and sometimes emotionally) in some weird strange way actually takes from another. It’s just the way it is. I can not help or change that and neither can you.
BUT it does not mean you are setting out to steal from another. It simply means you understand how it works and that also means you respect others in a way which deems you as honorable.
Hold others, starting with yourself, in high regards.
Respect and understand others in a way which allows you to see their lives and what they go through each and everyday. See their troubles. See their triumphant and failures. See their pain, their sorrow. See their happiness and excited states.
Understand we ALL go through life – we’re born. We die. We feel. We struggle.
We LIVE life in the best way we can at any given moment in our survival and in no terms are YOU there to judge another’s plight for any reason whatsoever.
“By rearranging your life in small ways…ways that NATURALLY lead to meeting interesting, available women… you’re VASTLY more likely to CONNECT with a GOOD MATCH for you.
And get this:
Do it right (and stick to it), and it’ll happen for you without even having to try!
If you make a few small “tweaks” to your life that MAXIMIZE the number of “qualified women” who come through it, you’re bound to MEET THE RIGHT ONES.”
Carlos added on something very important to his list because the word, “dominance” is often seen as having power over others and rightly so, that power being abused in a way to control.
Alpha is not about having or abusing power of others. Sure it can “mean” others will turn to you, rely on you, look to you for guidance, but that’s it.
What you DO with that power, how you use it, how you inflict your views on others, how you try ti bend others will to your benefit either makes you Alpha or makes you a controlling man who needs others to feel worse to make you feel better.
He writes off dominance as “demonstrating superior social skills” and leaving it at that is generally enough.
Getting into all the sub-categories of social skills is well beyond the scope of this page but I’ll try to sum it up in relationship to being dominant.
How you relate to people, how you talk to them and how you listen to them and offer solid positive statements, how you interact with them and how you make them feel interacting with you doesn’t give you dominance so to speak…
BUT again – all this and that puts you in a position where people look to you, look up to you, feel un-judged by you, feel free to be themselves, feel free to argue points and debate certain things without reprise or made to feel smaller or less important, feel their opinions and views do matter despite the differences which might be there… all that and combined with others leads to the word written over and over again above…
How you make others FEEL when they’re around you GIVES you or sometimes grants you the label of being dominant. Therefore a trait often seen in the REAL Alpha Male.
Again, abusing that power or inflicting your dominance on others in a destructive manner to build yourself up while putting others down is NOT something a true Alpha Male does or will ever do.
Stability is lightly touched upon earlier in the “before” list of Alpha Traits, “Life and all the obstacles you come into or appears to be thrown at you… bounce off you.”
It’s a tough one to master because it requires a certain calmness about you. It requires a strength above physical strength.
It requires the ability and mindset to be able to step outside of your or the situation and make a real decision in real-time.
Calm. Cool. Collected.
Here’s a quote which sort-of sums it up:
“The secret of building and sustaining a powerful long-term relationship with the woman of your dreams is all about ONE THING:
Becoming a MASTER OF EMOTIONS.
It’s about learning how to READ and REACT to the emotions of the woman you want, so that you can create a deep, powerful CONNECTION with her that’s BUILT TO LAST.”
That quote is obviously related to connecting with a woman BUT when it comes to your stability or being stable, finding a great girlfriend – often requires this trait to already be there in many OTHER areas of your life.
This skill or “trait” often GIVES you a better ability to connect with women on a deeper level so it can and should be used that way… however it often starts, begins, grows, develops through the many areas in your life you encounter each and every day.
Be fit and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
This one can be debated and is usually is. For example, who is to say that some guy is not Alpha just because he’s overweight, smokes, drinks a little too much but has many of the qualities and traits and skills already listed here today?
Argue or debate over it all you like.
For now, either admittedly or not – there are certain benefits to being fit and living (or trying) healthy lifestyle which can not be debated because they are too true to be proven otherwise.
What I’m saying is you “probably” can be Alpha without being fit but if you wish to amass all the greatest benefits of being Alpha – this one should not be overlooked and must be at least attempted often.
Take a look at an article I recently wrote to see just a few benefits mentioned above:
“Healthy = emotionally stable = clearer thinking = more energy = stronger confidence = higher libido = sexier body language = relaxed & lowered heart rates = calm, cool, collected = positive attitude AND a better ability to communicate THAT to women.”
Curiosity didn’t kill the cat. What killed the cat was a melancholy complacency; a lack of finding wonder in the world; a lack of desire to explore, experience, and to learn in a never-ending fashion about anything and everything which catches its eye or heart or mind.
Yeah, so the fat old cat died because it stopped being curious about life.
Wondering is good. Exploring is great.
Adventures MAKE average (I’ll say it) boring people into someone who is fascinating and far from average in every sense of the word.
You want to know something about anything – be curious enough to seek the answer you’re looking for because the magical journey of curiosity not only can and will make you Alpha – it will also make you smarter, more fun, an absolutely pleasure to converse with; you’ll amaze people and most of all you’ll amaze yourself making YOU more happier and in turn will affect others positively.
Be curious about yourself. Be curious about knowledge. Be curious and EXPLORE. Make life worth living beyond the mundane. A desire. A need. A passion. A real true adventure from birth to death.
Create an amazing story (or autobiography) of yourself and do the research to back up all that you find.
Find your balance.
Balancing life is tough. Not one person on this planet will tell you anything different and if they do, they are full of shit BUT that doesn’t mean it’s impossible or not worth trying.
Take a look at your life and be FIRM with yourself. Trust it’s okay to let certain things go even though you feel they’re important.
A better stronger (balanced) you is far more equipped to handle any adversity in life and never forget that please.
Don’t let things go which deprive you of fulfillment or happiness just because you or someone else feels one is more important than the other.
Maintain a realistic look on what you do everyday which can be altered or changed or made easier to help you find that balance.
Too much of any one thing is typically bad thing or turns into a bad thing. Just the same as too little of something can be good or bad or worse.
You can over-exercise. You can over-eat. You can under-eat. You can sit for too long. You can stand for too long. You can give too much of your time to something. You can neglect something important. You can get too close to something and change what you see to something less.
You can remain too far from something to gain a real perspective of what that item is or what it represents.
My point is: Balance is EVERYTHING!
And it’s certainly the desired choice of the Alpha Male.
Everything counts here. Yourself. Your Family. Your friends. Your happiness. Your alone time. Your hobbies. Your passions. Your dreams. Your career. Your goals. Your desires. Your sex life.
Here’s a snippet from an article I wrote a while ago:
“You know when you’re out of balance. When parts of your life tend to be taking over and you just can not find time to do something else.
You know when you eat too much and feel bloated and way too full. You can barely walk, pants come undone, and you just want to sit back and lull yourself to sleep.
You absolutely realize when you’ve had too much to drink. You can barely stand. You can barely speak. Sooner or later you have to crash so your body can, “fix itself”.
These things happen because BALANCE is very important. It’s important to your health. It’s important to your soul. And it’s extremely important to your overall happiness.
This should go without saying but:
Nice guys lives are out of balance with women.”
If want to know what being natural really means – just take a look in your nearby supermarket. Notice the words “all natural”, “homemade”, “organic” are written all over everything all designed to trick you into believing something is true to assure you buy THAT product over someone another.
We won’t be arguing over my personal thoughts on what those corporations do, that would require another 7000 words, but I will use that example to show you what “be natural” really is and how it relates to being Alpha.
Natural is NOT natural when used to trick or deceive others. Just the mere act of it negates any “naturality” of it. Yes, I know that’s not a word.
Being natural (Alpha -bettically) speaking, is a form of being genuine, real, upfront (to a certain point), and honest; without an intention to trick, fool, or misguide another to seeing things YOUR way.
In a way it’s also used to describe HOW things happen sort of accidentally.
This means, while you’re out doing things which make you Alpha and refrain from using them negatively or to GET something like a date, a lay, a girlfriend, a paycheck, anything… you WILL NATURALLY ATTRACT WOMEN and people will generally be drawn to you.
To me, natural happens as a side-effect and is not forced and those things happen more “naturally” when you are genuine, real, upfront (to a certain point), and honest; without an intention to trick, fool, or misguide another to seeing things YOUR way.
I believe we covered many of Carlos’s list with some hopefully great examples you can use and some inspiration and new thoughts to help you proceed into doing what you can to achieve your own wonderful unique version of becoming an Alpha guy.
Before we go on…
Please take the time to consider the man who wrote the list…
That’s where you’ll find all his articles he’s allowed me to share with you and many of his current programs available for you to buy.
It’s sad that many of his programs are still there, but the web pages are outdated so I tried to only put up the best ones for you.
Okay let’s get back to work…
What’s been covered so far is an attitude you can take with you.
It’s NOT everything but it’s a dam good start which will certainly help you develop and add to your personality which will make you attractive to others including women.
Dispelling the myth or common belief about what the Alpha Male is, because he’s NOT!
Too many guys think their attitude needs to be abrasive or how you have to be tough or some overly jealous brute.
I won’t lie. You will notice some women are with guys like that and you don’t need me to tell you that some women prefer the drama. Some on a strange level love it when they’re boyfriend gets jealous and yes, SOME of those women are quite hot.
Jealousy has its place and a little is okay. In fact some women who are more than great women will like it… once in a while. But it doesn’t give you any reason to blow your top, start fights, accuse others, and blatantly act like an ass.
So first – You don’t need anyone to show you how to be “that” guy and I can guarantee you can still become him and NEVER land a hot girlfriend. Being a true Alpha Male does not require you to start fights or harm others in any way or at anytime.
Secondly – You will only attract a small percentage of women. This will limit your choices and decrease the “odds” of ever being with a real incredible higher quality woman.
Third – and this is a big one…
It’s not their “bad attitude” that’s creating the attraction.
Trust me there’s a lot more going on when it comes to women and the “bad boys” and jerks.
So forget about the “jerk” attitude and focus on your mature masculine attitude.
Not only is it going to last you a lifetime it will help you in all areas of your life.
Remember this because when you do land a hot girlfriend keeping her attracted to you is another piece of this puzzle and displaying or having a destructive attitude will not make it easier on you but only more difficult. Lots of drama, bullshit, and world full of stress. Something I KNOW you don’t want in your life especially after developing such an attractive personality.
There – myth taken care of for now.
Let’s move on to the final piece of this step…
A mysterious edge to your Alpha-Ness
They fit together perfectly AND together they naturally encourage women to come to you while at the same time building even more attraction towards you.
It’s an amazing combination.
If you follow those Alpha way you’ll already see how women will see you as somewhat of a mystery – mostly because they rarely meet a guy like that and because it’s already ingrained into your personality to not brag, boast, show off, be overly confident, loud, obtrusive, and so on.
The other side of the mystery and how it works so well is HOW you COMMUNICATE these Alpha traits to women.
For that, again which is way too much to cover here, take a look at an article I wrote which will explain it all.
- He is the ultimate challenge… Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally.
- Un-predictable predictive actions.
- Emotional and conversational control.
- A real man of mystery and quiet demeanor never brag, boast, of show off.
- His life does not appear to revolve around women.
- He does the right thing at the right time regardless of the outcome.
- His “existence” in her world is the answer to a riddle, a puzzle or an exciting mystery novel.
Once you’re done with that you should be more than well-equipped to integrate mystery and Alpha together in a seamless ATTRACTIVE personality.
You have the traits. You have the reasons. You have the means to convert them to ACTION.
Step 7 of these “hotter girlfriend” steps is a big one. I do hope I’ve covered enough to get you (eventually) to the next step.
By now things are starting to come together for you and you’re understanding what it takes to be able to choose any girl you want – and not make her your girlfriend but instead – but have her feeling like she wants to be and will do anything to make that happen.
BUT we still have some more steps to cover. More things to tackle.
Take what you can from all this.
Do what you can to remain Alpha and if any questions arise on how to act when a problem arises – fall back on it because no matter what the outcome is – This attitude will help steer you in the right direction without question.
Remain somewhat mysterious in your ways. Maintain high value to women by not giving it all away. Women DO respect and value men they have to work harder for AND they do tend to sleep with those the respect and value the most.
Attitude – Personality – Mystery – it’s like an attraction Trifecta AND it’s something we can all use to land any girlfriend we want without changing the core of ourselves. You’re already a man. That part’s been done for you when you were born and NEVER forget it.
Whereas a very special thank you is due for Carlos and all his greatness, for a slightly different but COMPLETE approach to becoming a True Alpha Male – I’d consider the easy option:
For a great price, just follow the laws and you WILL start living like a true Alpha Male AND it’s not expensive at all. When I first picked it up I’d listen to it while exercising and I feel in love with it.
I also wrote down every law on paper (yes actually real tree paper) and related each one to my life and how I can better it. This seemed to solidify it my mind much better and helped me put it all to work in my life easier.
I’d do the same if I were you.
OR get the complete transformation:
It’s a little more expensive but covers EVERYTHING you need to become an Alpha Male.
I have not gone through it personally but it has proven to help lots of guys overcome any “man” issues they might be having around women PLUS it designed to change your life – AND turn you into… yes – that word again.
The Alpha Male.