Before you consider or even entertain the idea or goal of making any woman your girlfriend, you must first date her. If that wasn’t obvious.
This step will cover many things. First you’ll get my bitch-fest on traditional dates, then how throwing out the dating rule book works better for you and her, how couples actually DO get together, why you must re-define what a date is, how anything goes, and then I’ll show you a “better” technique with lots of resources and tips to get your dating life at a point it’s never been before.
The problem most guys have in this area (of dating) is they set up boring dates, spend way too much money on they, don’t think them through, and they don’t plan ahead. Plus following all the stupid dating rules or lame advice only makes the goal of creating an amazing date impossible.
You want to impress a “hotter” woman without trying and separate you from all the other dates she’s suffered through AND create a real emotional bond with her, from now on…
Throw out the dating rule book and focus on dates which naturally lead to great conversations, excitement, and fun.
Step 9 of 11 Steps On How To Get A Hot Girlfriend is about how to throw away traditional dating. It’s about changing your approach to making a date and easily re-invent what “going out with girl” is supposed to be.
You do NOT go out to the movies or take her to dinner anymore. It’s no longer your “style” and if any woman tries to default you to a standardized dating ritual you will refuse or deny it entirely. There is no settling here. No compromising.
The only time it’s okay to throw in a few “traditional dates” is when you’re already in a relationship with her and you want to give her a romantic evening she might like but even then, why bother… think about it – you “got” her, then why would you go changing something that is working for both of you.
Throw away all your preconceived notions about what a date is, like who picks up who, who pays for it, the end of the night kissing, the third date sex rule, the length of a date, where to go, what to do…
Anything reasonable goes.
There’s a myth some fool put in place with regards to dating. I don’t know who started it or when it began but the old classic, “dinner and a movie”, or “asking her out”, or that you have to do those things to get a hot girlfriend are false.
Here’s how I REALLY feel about a dinner and a movie and you’ll quickly see why they’re such a bad idea:
“Imagine this… You’re stuck in a dark room with lots of strangers for an hour and a half! You’re with the hottest date of your life but you can’t even get that close to her because an unmovable stick-like supposedly comfortable arm is blocking you.”
Okay sure – people have found each other through traditional means but it’s just not necessary. Ask around (…if you dare.) When you see an “attractive happy” couple ask them how they met and what they were doing when it all happened.
I know from first hand experience most couples did not follow the traditional dating patterns and really when you think about it – who wants romance planned out anyways. It just happens and for any women to experience a huge emotional shift around us that is how it needs to feel to her…
Like it just happened. How it felt meant to be. How after it she just couldn’t stop thinking about the dude.
How one minute she’s single and sick and tired of the same boring guys taking her to dinner, watching a dumb chic-flick, being on his “best” behavior as if he’s going to break her or upset her, and even worse – trying so freaking hard to impress her – her eyes follow the first guy who just doesn’t seem to give a shit.
This concept took me some time to realize and put in play. I was getting lots of great advice in understanding why this works but until I looked back and saw how often it happened and then experienced it first-hand, I didn’t believe it.
It took me way too long to notice how so many of the women I wanted to date always just seemed to end up with a boyfriend. They somehow accidentally met and the next thing – they were a couple. As if it was just like magic.
Yes, something HAD to happen but the point is – they got together despite traditional dating techniques which will have you spending too much money, too much ass-kissing, very little fun, awkward silences, bad food, dressing up in something you wear ONLY on dates – watching bad movies and avoiding the tasty popcorn because you’re hoping she’ll kiss you for all you’ve done for her that evening.
Redefine or reinvent the ideas of what a “date” is – Create exciting, fun adventures instead.
You’re there to connect, learn a little about each other, have a good time and decide whether a second or third “date” is something you’d be interested in doing. (Even it’s a complete disaster or you’re not into her or she’s not into you.)
Dates are meant to be fun and challenging. They can be quick and romantic or long and exploring.
And you can do that almost anywhere at any time.
Maybe I’m biased here or maybe I’m tired of the media telling you what a date is – but any “standard” date I have gone on was not a disaster, at least that would be fun to talk about, they were boring, pointless, and only proved a total waste of time.
But it wasn’t the idea of the date that ruined them…
It was the nervousness, trying to “be my best”, testing the waters of connection by tip-toeing around our true personalities. There’s just way too much pressure involved.
If you’re asking what’s the difference, hot girl or not, good question.
There are lots of myths about hot women. That they are “tough” to get. How you have to “wine and dine” them longer. How they have so many men trying to get with them they’re more selective borderline picky and scrutinize every guy they meet.
I’m not saying they’re easy and they’re not given some “privilege” because of how they look. I’m merely saying first, the women who put themselves on a pedestal and expect you to chase, are probably not what you’re looking for anyways; and two – if you put her on that golden pedestal and give them certain privileges because of how they look, you’ve already lost before you even begin.
If you are too traditional, too predictable, too mundane, too ritualistic, too much like every other guy you’re going to wind up jumping through hoops for her and there will not be any highlighted moments of real attraction and emotional responses..
Allow your now exciting social life to keep you just a little too unavailable so when the date happens, you’re both looking forward to it.
Don’t let a great time be ruined by giving her the prefect glimpses of who you are while trying to hide or hold back things about yourself just because you’re hoping she’ll like you more. In other words – BE who you ARE from the very beginning. Don’t waste your time or her time. Expect the same from her.
Don’t let the rituals stop you from kissing her half way through your connection or calling her when it’s necessary and not by some rule you read some where that you’re not supposed to do that. I’ve kissed a woman within minutes of setting out on the date because I wanted to AND she loved it.
You don’t have to wait until the end of the night to kiss her.
You don’t have to logically progress from one place to the next. Go with the connection. Go with what feels right (If it’s legal so respect the law and her.)
Remember hotter women don’t want what’s been handed to them over and over again for practically their whole life. They can get “that” guy anywhere. They want someone “real” and on the good side of different and more like the guy she’s never met before.
We talked about developing your attitude earlier. Just like that you must be consistent ( or congruent ) in your approach to dating… follow the steps outlined and use them as a guideline for setting up dates too:
There are no set of rules.
Do what works.
Be confident being that person is worlds above what women generally experience and they absolutely are searching for a real experience with a guy… so give it to her.
How To Make Your Dates More Enjoyable And Memorable
There are a ton of examples and ways to make all your dates work better. Since they’re posted up all over place, I’ll pull some pieces together and you can explore them in more detail on the articles they came from.
The first one is from 32 places to take a date. There’s an explanation written on each tip listed on the article. I suggest you give that page a good read because it’s filled with helpful tips and ideas.
Tip# 1: Ask more revealing questions for better ideas for the date or dates.
Tip #2: Dating can be a nervous “event”. They often cause a lot of anxiety but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Tip #3: Explore and discover your immediate area or surroundings.
Tip #4: Match and mix the places up for a better date experience.
Tip #5: Always plan ahead.
Tip# 6: Keep This List Close By.
Tip# 7: Learn the “secret” formula to have amazing dates so that fun and great conversations are already naturally built in.
Here’s the one (also quoted on the page above) that I really like because it explains how and why paying for dates is not a good thing plus a little “formula” for coming up with some ideas on your own, and even a little on attraction. (Located at The Approach)
“Do something that has interested conversation and excitement built into it.
Think of 10 things you could do with a woman that cost little or no money but that include possibilities of all kinds of interesting conversation, adventure, excitement.”
The next article is a little light on the date ideas but filled with other great stuff.
“That’s why your first date with her should be a RELAXED social affair. There shouldn’t be any pressure at all at this point ( although a little sexual tension is fine and even expected), so keep things light and FUN.
You know the typical scene in a TV show where the leading lady is flustered over what to wear on the first date?
Don’t put your woman in this predicament. This cliché has been done to death and you should be SHAKING THINGS UP with her.” If you want to break the mold, you’re going to have to skip the typical romantic date routine and be INNOVATIVE.”
This one was also written by the author above and instead of giving you many details on dating itself, goes more into HOW you can get more dates by throwing all the rules. A very good also:
“What you might not know is that these rules only serve to make clueless guys even MORE narrow-minded than they were before.
I get where these rules are coming from though. With dating, so much can go wrong; believing that certain regulations within a clearly-defined system could somehow bring order to a chaotic environment.”
This next one will help you have a better dating experience by assuring you know what to talk about:
“First, let’s talk about WHY most guys allow the conversation to turn to these ultra-boring topics…
Most guys approach a first date from the perspective of “I don’t want to screw this up“.
In other words, they try to play it safe and not do anything or say anything that the girl might not like.
They try to present themselves as “nice guys” who love mom,have a good job, and are stable.
Somehow, guys have gotten the idea that if they act nice, buy dinner, and talk about the same old things that everyone else uses to bore women to tears that they might get lucky and score (or at least get a kiss and a second opportunity to buy dinner).
I don’t know where this concept came from, but it’s just not a very effective approach.
WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO THE SAME OLD SAME OLD, BORING, PREDICTABLE CONVERSATION.”
Do you understand the “rule of reciprocity”?
If not go through this article and you’ll learn what it means and how it relates to you and women and dating. That way you’ll again, be less inclined to spend money on your next date.
“The truth is, when you spend substantial amounts of money on a woman you’ve just begun to date, you’re actually making things more difficult for yourself, and creating a bad expectation.
There is a principle of persuasion that salespeople use on customers called the Rule of Reciprocity.”
Next up… let’s just cover some basic DO NOT do on a date things because I don’t want you making any mistakes on your next date which will ruin it for you and her. You’ve come a long way and spent enough time learning what a date should be – avoid this stuff.
- Arrive in a car full of junk
- Appear too nervous
- Choose a bad restaurant or venue
- Appear fussy while interacting with servers
- Name drop or brag about accomplishments
- Forget to ask questions
- Speak ill of past dates, girlfriends, or wives
- Ogle other women or watch TV
- Ask her if she wants to have children
- Agree to split the tab
- Not try for a kiss goodnight, or more…
The next I wrote after hearing way too many women complain about what guys were asking them. Is’s a long one because each item on the list comes with a great explanation which is filled with tips on attraction and dating. Things you don’t want to miss or forget.
Granted they’re all not related to dating but they are still very important and if you’re looking to get a hot girlfriend – do NOT ask any of these questions on a date or at anytime if you want her to like you!
- Can I call you?
- Can I kiss you?
- Do you like me?
- Why don’t you like me?
- How old are you?
- How much do you weigh?
- How come you’re still single?
- Are you going to eat ALL of that?
- Do you want to come back to my place?
- Is that your natural hair color?
- Is your friend into threesomes?
- What do you want to do?
- How many guys have you slept with?
- When is the baby due?
- Are you okay?
- Are you seeing someone else?
- Are they real?
I’m going to finish this list off with a bunch of one-liners or what to never ask a or say to a woman:
- Did you cum?
- Is it in?
- Is HE your boyfriend?
- Are you ready yet?
- Her sister’s phone number. Her Mother’s phone number. Or anyone who she is related to or friends with.
- Her name AFTER you’ve already slept with her!
- Why are you being so emotional?
- Why do you need more shoes?
- Don’t you have enough clothes?
- Is that the look you were going for?
- You’re going to wear that?
Let’s wrap this one up today and summarize what was covered so you can get to your date and to the next step in finding a great girlfriend.
Number one is of course: Throw away and forget any “dating rule” you’ve ever known or heard before.
Traditional dating is out. This includes waiting for the end of the night for a kiss, third date bullshit, who pays for who, etc…
When you’re a guy who can attract women the right way they’re not needed and you can basically do whatever you want as long as a few things are in place:
- You’re actually meeting up with her somewhere fun and inexpensive.
- You have the chance and opportunity to talk and get to know each other.
Think about it – that’s all there is to a date. You’re getting to know each other better and it’s helping both decide whether you want to see each other again.
Number two: Learn how to plan something better than a date. Make it a fun, cheap, EXPERIENCE for both of you.
Seriously, not many people “hook up” or get in a relationship doing the dinner/date stuff. That’s what they do in movies. In real life people meet friends of friends, they go to parties, they just “end up” together quite randomly.
Try to always create an memorable experience where both items above are covered. (Meeting up and talking.)
Women are always blown away by a guy who cam make her FEEL something magical happened and magic can happen ANYWHERE.
Number Three: Use the list above and add to it so you always have a powerful list places of go on your “new” style of dating.
The list is above, there’s only 32 places. Use the tips on that page and come up with your own. I’m sure there are many places I’ve missed and there are lots of local places where you’re from I could never know about.
Number four: Avoid making the all too common dating mistakes.
Use everything you’ve learned in the many steps leading up to this one as your personality, the way you talk to woman and avoid many of the common mistakes which can ruin it for you. The steps are below if you have to back up a little.
Number five: Learn how to set up dates where you make a great first impression with the little help of me and Carlos.
- 11-step method for creating a KILLER first date with a woman.
- Why you can’t “blame the method” – and how this can kill your dating life with women.
- The one thing you must never do on your first meeting with your online hottie.
- 3-step preparation plan for the first meeting with her – what you must do to put on the best first impression.
- How to raise your energy level and keep the right mental attitude for your date to create the highest level of attraction with her.
- How to have an endless stream of conversation on your online date.
- How long your first online date should be.
- My “Stacking” method for maximizing your time, and how to protect yourself from over-investing in any one woman.
- How to “turn on” your social motor before you meet her so that you give off a friendly and positive vibe.
- How to avoid communicating the wrong message to her that turns off women in minutes.
- The nights of the week you must never be going out on your online “dates…”
- One thing you must bring up in your conversation on your first date with a woman to ensure that you avoid going into the “friends only” zone with her.
- How to end the first date in a way that practically guarantees you’ll get another date – and you’ll avoid “creeping her out” in the process.
- My killer “escape chute” method for getting out of any bad date in just one minute.
Thanks again for stopping by and I do hope you’ve learned something new today about dating and have lots of great original dates ideas flowing through your head. My aim is to over deliver and although this isn’t my best work – maybe it’s good enough… for now.
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11 steps to getting a HOT girlfriend:
STEP 1: Click Here For Step 1 – Refine Your Look – Details
STEP 2: Control Your Life Effortlessly, Women Will Want To Be In It
STEP 3: Develop Social Life, Involved, Give Something Women Do Want
STEP 4: The Benefits Of Becoming Friends With Hotter Women
STEP 5: She Wants Guy Who Demonstrates People Skills Gets More
STEP 6: Become Sexy Guy Where Your Sexiness Comes From
STEP 7: Developing A Mysterious Attitude And Attractive Personality
STEP 8: Where Meet Women Removing Fears Of Approach Naturally
STEP 9: Throw Out Dating Rules Book – Focus On Excitement and Fun
STEP 10: Why You Might Have To “Go Get Laid” to Get A Girlfriend
STEP 11: The Final Step Getting HOT Girlfriend Natural Relationships