Before we consider making any woman our girlfriend we must first consider dating her.
Here is what I believe and it works better.
This not only impresses the hell out of those “hot” women without “trying” to impress them but it also separates us from every date she has been on AND it just so happens creates an emotionally charged attractive bond.
STEP 9 of 11 Steps on How To Get A Girlfriend is about throwing away the traditional dating.
We must change our approach to dating and reconsider, actually reinvent what a date is supposed to be…
We don’t do movies or dinner. It’s not our “style” and if any woman tries to default us to a standardized dating ritual we’ll refuse or deny it entirely. No settling here.
No matter what she feels, how convincing she is, or even how bad we might want “this one” we must not budge here. The only time it’s okay to throw in a few “traditional dates” is when we’re already in a relationship and we love it so much we want to romance the shit out of her.
Throw away all the preconceived notions about what a date is like who picks up who, who pays for it, the end of the night kissing…
Anything reasonable goes.
There’s a myth some fool put in place with regards to dating. I don’t know who started it or when it began but the old classic, “dinner and a movie”, or “asking her out”, or that you have to do those things to get a hot girlfriend are false.
Okay sure – people have found each other through traditional means but it’s just not necessary.
Ask around (…if you dare.) When you see an “attractive happy” couple ask them how they met what they were doing.
I know from first hand experience most did not follow the traditional dating patterns and really when you think about it – who wants romance planned out anyways. It just happens and for any women to experience a huge emotional shift around us that is how it needs to feel to her…
Like it just happened. How it felt meant to be.
How after she couldn’t stop thinking about us.
How one minute she’s single and sick and tired of the same boring guys taking her to dinner, watching a dumb chic-flick, being on his “best” behavior as if he’s going to break her or upset her, and even worse – trying so freaking hard to impress her – her eyes follow the first guy who just doesn’t seem to give a shit.
This concept took me some time to realize and put in play. I was getting lots of great advice in understanding why this works but until I looked back and saw how often it happened and then experienced it first happen, I didn’t believe it.
It took me too long to notice how so many of the women I wanted to date always just seemed to end up with a boyfriend. They somehow accidentally met and the next thing – they were a couple. As if it was just like magic but I know it wasn’t.
Yes, something HAD to happen but the point is – they got together despite traditional dating techniques which will have you spending too much money, too much ass-kissing, very little fun, awkward silences, bad food, dressing up in something you wear ONLY on dates – watching bad movies and avoiding the tasty popcorn because you’re hoping she’ll kiss you for all you’ve done for her …
Redefine or reinvent the ideas of what a “date” is – Create exciting, fun adventures instead.
“Women are most attracted to men who are passionate about what they do. Women are attracted to guys who don’t have to chase! How to become the type of magnetic man who can walk into a room and command EVERYONE’S attention” David Wygant will show you how to – Own The Room“
Dates are meant to be fun and challenging. They can be quick and romantic or long and exploring.
We’re there to connect, learn a little about each other, and have a good time. ( Even it’s a complete disaster or you’re not into her or she’s not into you.)
And you can do that almost anywhere at any time.
Maybe I’m biased here or maybe I’m tired of the media telling you what a date is – but any “standard” date I have gone on was not a disaster, at least that would be fun to talk about, they were boring, pointless, and only proved a total waste of time.
But it wasn’t the idea of the date that ruined them…
It was the nervousness, trying to “be our best”, testing the waters of connection by tip-toeing around our true personality.
There’s just way too much pressure involved.
Later I can get into more of the details of dating but I’m sure you’re wondering what this has to do with getting a hot girlfriend.
Won’t this work for ALL women? Why does she have to be hot? Or why, when you see a gorgeous couple – the specifics of how he managed to do it without a date.
There are lots of myths about hot women and one is that they are “tough” to get. How you have to “wine and dine” them longer. How they have so many men trying to get with them they’re more selective borderline picky and scrutinize every guy they come in contact.
That is just not the case here. ( Mostly of course because some women will not settle for less but we must respect that and just not bother with them. )
I’m not saying they’re easy and they’re not given some “privilege” because of how they look. I’m merely saying first, the women who put themselves on a pedestal and expect you to chase, are probably not what you’re looking for anyways; and two – if you put her on that golden pedestal and give them certain privileges because of how they look, you’ve already lost before you even begin.
If you are too traditional, too predictable, too mundane, too ritualistic, too much like every other guy you’re going to wind up jumping through hoops for her and there will not be any highlighted moments of real attraction and emotional responses..
So don’t be traditional – here’s another option instead.
Don’t be predictable but allow your now excited social life to keep you just a little too unavailable.
Don’t let a great time be ruined by giving her the prefect glimpses of who you’re while hiding or holding things about you for a later date. Just because you’re hoping she’ll like you more.
Don’t let the rituals stop you from kissing her half way through your connection or calling her when it’s necessary and not by some rule you read some where.
You don’t have to wait until the end of the night to kiss her.
You don’t have to logically progress from one place to the next. Go with the connection. Go with what feels right (If it’s legal so respect the law and her.)
Remember hotter women don’t want what’s been handed to them over and over again for practically their whole life. They can get “that” guy anywhere. They want someone “real” and on the good side of different and more like the guy she’s never met before.
We talked about developing our attitude earlier. Just like that we must be consistent ( or congruent ) in our approach to dating… follow the steps outlined and use them as a guideline for dating.
There are no set of rules. It’s a template to success and is always re-workable and questionable.
Keeping in mind of course there are certain guidelines to follow along the way to help us with attraction:
- What you talk about. Follow the guidelines above. If it’s positive and fun go for it – if it’s boring, mundane, bragging, or begging her to like you – avoid it.
- How you talk to her. Don’t talk down or up to her. Make consistent soft good eye contact. No mumbling. Be clear and use descriptive words.
- How well you can listen and respond. Avoid thinking about what you’re going to say while she’s talking. Stay in the moment. Respond properly and keep the conversational topic flowing.
- Giving her the right balance of attention. No lingering. No avoiding because you want her to think you couldn’t care less. You don’t force indifference because that only proves it does matter to you.
- Knowing when it’s over and not lingering hoping for something more. In the beginning you might want to keep the “date” short. This proves you’re not needy, have a life outside of her and dating and women, and most of all stops you from making mistakes which comes along with staying around too long. If it feels like it’s over – it is. Trust your intuition here.
Step 9 is easy to follow – there are no set rules in dating – avoid the traditional and focus on fun interaction first. Do things you enjoy and invite certain women to join you.
Making a powerful and confident first impression is always recommended. It also helps to PLAN and be PREPARED. This is as far traditional as you must allow. If you have to follow something – Grab a pen and paper – Leave your email and get ready because I had a close friend in the business put together an (.mp3) to explain exactly how to have successful first dates and how to get out the “bad” ones quick… All while creating attraction. Here the special link from me at DiaLteG TM with the help of Carlos Xuma –> Killer First Dates – Powerful and Confident First Impressions.