Women are well-known for enjoying a compliment from a guy but it’s not as easy as it appears. If you want to leave a lasting impression on her (especially when it’s used as an approach to starting a conversation), it comes down to what you’re complimenting her on AND the guy who is saying it.
I did a “perfect man” survey a while ago for women and some interesting results appeared:
The FIRST thing a woman notices on a guy is his eyes and smile. (Minus of course his subconscious body language.
They also preferred above average intelligence.
When asked about a guy’s personality the top two answers were: Charming and outgoing.
Put it all together and IF you want to approach women successfully and make a great first impression on her:
Make sure you make sincere eye contact.
Smile a little.
Play it smart.
The outgoing part tends to take care if itself when you’re approaching a woman.
The missing pieces for most guys is figuring out how to be charming and come off as a smart man at the same time.
It’s easier than you think because all you have to do is give her the perfect COMPLIMENT, flirt a little after (the RIGHT way), and along with your great smile and eye contact – you are certain to leave an amazing and lasting impression on her.
In today’s post you’re going to learn how to perfect a compliment so it’s unique, genuine, and comes to you naturally – with a little practice of course.
Follow the links above to fill in the other pieces of the puzzle of approaching women AND make sure you do the work and practice as much as possible so it becomes second nature to you.
Oh and make sure you stay far away from:
Cookie cutter comments like “You’re beautiful.”, “I love your hair.”, “You have a great smile.” UNLESS you’ve been seeing her for a while but since we’re only concerned with women you are just about to meet – that should not apply here.
Do not go compliment her specific physical body traits or parts like her ass, breasts, legs, or lips. Stay clear from ANY body part.
The rest is fair game.
Women like to think they have style and a sense of fashion so go there whenever you can.
Tattoos, necklace, rings, shoes, glasses, hairstyle, nails, lipstick, etc…
They also spend a lot of time perfecting their skin but it’s a tough one to come up with something for that.
However the EYES – as long as you can come up with something unique is a great one to compliment her on.
Now that you know WHAT you should compliment – you need to learn HOW to perfect one and say it with a style that’s unique to you.
There’s no copy, cut, and paste routines here EXCEPT for the words you can use to describe what you like about her.
Here are THE BEST I “borrowed” from a Thesaurus site for Beautiful:
- Exquisite (Great for complimenting her taste in something.)
- Pulchritudinous (TIP: Great to use because she won’t know what it means and if said right, she’s sure to ask you nicely what it means.)
Don’t worry, you don’t have to memorize them all. Just give them a quick look for now.
Here’s how you can learn how to compliment a woman (and/or approach her) from the comfort of your own computer.
I will say it’s a little work but definitely worth it.
The fun part.
Go out and find lots of pictures of women that you find attractive.
The key here is to make sure she’s somewhere which is real and approachable.
In other words don’t just check out pictures of half-naked women. If you’re at the beach a lot, grab pictures of women at the beach. If you’re (unfortunately) in a bar a lot, grab some pictures of women there or in coffee shops.
Here’s a great list of places I posted up where you can meet women 32 Great Date Places Where To Go and Meet Her Plus 7 Tips On Dating. They also happen to be great places to take your upcoming date too.
REMEMBER: what works best are pictures of REAL women doing REAL things in everyday life.
Here’s a great example of my beautiful wife from Estee White Photography.
The “not so fun” part.
Write down anything and everything which catches your eye in the picture you’re looking at.
Yes – write it down either on a piece of paper or on your computer because it will help to secure it in your mind PLUS get you more in tune with reading a woman and paying attention to yours and her surrounding – making the approach and starting a conversation so much easier.
Here’s what I came up with quickly from the picture above as an example I what I want you to in this second step:
- She looks cold.
- Boots and bag are matching.
- Nice stripy top.
- The statue in the background.
- The flower vase.
- The tiled ground.
- The clock in the upper left corner.
- Cloudy overcast slightly rainy day.
- It’s windy.
- She looks happy.
- She’s showing some leg.
- Boot heels are chunky.
- Tiny bag.
- Looks like red hearts on her shirt.
Notice some are better used to approach her or start a conversation, others are WHAT you could compliment her on. The choice is up to you.
Here’s what I mean based on the differences:
She looks cold.
“Spring is coming. It’s my favorite time of the year…”
You don’t have to ask her a question because it’s implied and she will respond to what is said anyways.
Boots and bag are matching.
“Love the matching boots and bag – GREAT style. Did you buy them at the same place?”
Notice the slipped in compliment about her style and not the items themselves.
Try to say something about her style and not the actual items.
As a guy you might not want to go (there) unless you’re going to use it later in the classic flirt I’ve personally used before, “If I wasn’t gay…” Of course I’m not but most women respond with, “You are…?” with a cute smile. Trust me it works great when done the right way and can be quite charming too.
Nice stripy top.
“I’ve seen so many women who don’t pull of the stripy tops but… if you don’t mind me saying… you’ve proven to me why…. they’re just not as stunning and as beautiful as you are.”
Notice the (…) are added appropriately. USE slight pauses whenever you’re complimenting, approaching, and talking to a woman – they create a real effect that’s highly attractive.
Don’t go all “James T. Kirk” overacting on her but learn to use them properly and your compliments will be taken and received with a giggle plus a lovely smile.
The statue in the background.
“What’s with the crazy eyes on that statue? Did they do that on purpose and forget to finish them?”
For added effect as a compliment:
Look at the statue then move your eyes slowly to hers so she thinks you’re talking about the statue and say,
“Graceful and stunning… if that was you up there I’d never leave this place. You’re absolutely… Pulchritudinous!”
Notice the thrown in word she might not know and she’s very inclined to ask. It means breathtaking. This is what is known as a compliment within a compliment which adds some fun, some flirtiness, and some charm to the mix as she waits for the answer.
First she thinks you’re talking about the statue – which is a great opening but then you turn it on her (so make sure you’re looking right into her eyes when you say it) and then, you give HER the compliment along with a great lead-in to a conversation as she asks what it means and then BOOM – you give her probably one of the most unique compliments she’s ever heard.
As the annoying comedian Kenny Bania from Seinfeld is quoted as saying, “That’s pure gold – Jerry. Pure Gold.”
The flower vase.
“Interesting flowers over there… Can I get your opinion on something? …. What do YOU think about a guy… having a favorite flower? I mean… its not too feminine… is it?”
This is a great one. Notice I mention I want HER opinion and not a woman’s perspective. Trust she knows she’s a woman and mentioning her it makes it personal. You’re basically telling her you value her opinion and not just some random woman’s view on something which means a lot to you.
The opinion opener is always a great way to start a conversation. Again, just make sure you make it real and personal to you and personal to her and not every other woman.
This opener leads into a great conversation with lots of flirting and many chances to throw in a compliment as in… what if she’s fun and comes back with,
“Well actually it IS a little feminine.”
YOU: “Really – could you keep this our little secret then? I have a man-rep to protect but my favorite flowers are… No… I can’t tell you that…”
HER: “Sure you can, I won’t tell anyone. It’s just between you, me, and the statue. No one will ever know.”
YOU: “Ahhh well how could I NOT trust a pretty face like yours except… I’m conflicted… if I tell you you’ll think I’m a little gay and then how am I supposed to hit on you … and if I don’t tell you – how will you know what to bring me on our third date?” (Give her a slight smirky smile after.)
The tiled ground.
“I am absolutely amazed and astounded that the people who spent years laying down all this tile… did it… knowing that such a beauty as yourself would be gracing it with your presence. Admit it sexy – they did this all for you!”
Yeah – it’s a little over the top but hey, that’s my wife we’re talking about.
Actually over the top works in this sense because it’s clever, smart, thoughtful, and comes off as a genuine observation of something you admire… Details as in tiles are merely the backdrop of the real beauty.
The clock in the upper left corner.
“Excuse me – is that clock actually right?”
Point to it. She’ll probably turn to look at it so be careful here, she won’t be facing you anymore but do NOT tap her shoulder or jump in front of her; and no matter what she says WAIT as she slowly turns back to you and when your eyes meet, pause for a fraction of a second and say,
“Wow, you have the most fascinating and incredible eyes – I imagine I’ll never forget this moment AND I have the date, place, and TIME… so I KNOW it really happened.”
Yes – It’s a little cheesy and to be honest, can come across to some women as planned. But don’t worry about it. Unless she thinks or actually BELIEVES you do this all day, sitting and waiting around for some woman to stand there, she’ll be more than flattered.
Cloudy overcast slightly rainy day.
Although the weather is not the easiest way to segue into a compliment, EVERYONE has an opinion on the weather so it can make for a neutral conversation starter.
If you want to turn it into a compliment use it to your advantage and say,
“Even on a cloudy, cold, and damp day – there’s a little Sunshine to be found. You’re absolutely radiant.”
It may not seem important but whenever you can turn a negative into a positive and make a woman smile because of it – you WILL be seen as charming and plus – having a positive open mind is very attractive.
“So this wind is your fault…”
Wait a second because she’ll be slightly offended or caught off guard and then say very comfortably with a matter-of-fact tone in your voice,
“The naturally beautiful models don’t ever need lighting and effects – they carry the scene wherever they go.”
Then give her a soft smile. Don’t GRIN. Don’t show your teeth. Both will make it very insincere to her so be REAL about it.
In other words – say what you mean – mean what you say – own it OR an opening like this will NOT work.
You see it’s okay to say stuff like this IF it’s done the right way. Done the wrong way and you’ll come across as some lame pickup artist.
Again – Soft smiles. No grinning. No teeth showing. Look in her eyes for a second. Don’t look her up and down. Say what you mean and you better mean what you say.
Okay… I’m going to stop there because I’m positive you’re getting the picture about the picture and what you’re supposed to be practicing.
Let’s go over the first few steps again:
Get yourself a list of adjectives to use and make sure they’re accessible.
Start looking at some images of women in real everyday situations where she’s in a position to be approached by you.
Write down everything you can about her and what’s in the picture. Anything and everything counts here and don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense at first. You can throw out the non-usable stuff later.
The point is you’ll be getting in tune with the details and showing yourself how to notice them all and how to filter out what’s not going to help you.
PLUS you’re learning how to tie it together and how it forms into a compliment and a charming approach.
Next… go back over each detail or item you wrote down and come up with something unique, clever, fun, etc… that can be said about it and yes… WRITE THEM DOWN too.
I understand it’s work but you’re not studying for a test here. You’re not looking for a Master’s Degree.
AND once you’ve done this a few times everyday that you can, for a few weeks or a month you will be surprised by how much becomes naturally integrated into you mind.
In fact I guarantee after a few times, the next time you see a woman lots of this stuff will flood your mind and actually ERASE all the negative and nervous chatter and fears which often stop so many guys from ever approaching a woman.
So yes – this DOES WORK!
On to the next step – no worries they get easier.
Remember all the adjectives above, remember all the items you listed, remember all the clever conversation-starters and compliments you came up with?
Start looking for replacement words that are more appropriate, more descriptive, more in tune with your style and how YOU talk and replace them (in writing) IF they work. If not write them down anyways.
Yes my friend, you are increasing your vocabulary but for good use.
Here’s one example to show you how it’s done:
She looks happy.
“You are glowing today… and thank you. Your incredible smile just made my day amazing.”
You have GLOWING – INCREDIBLE – AMAZING.
Look them up here: https://www.thesaurus.com/ and find ones which can either replace them or to be used elsewhere.
Notice how “incredible” is used more in a slang way than the actual meaning of the word. Which is why you won’t find many words to substitute it with AND which is why it’s not the greatest of compliments.
Now THAT is word with some serious implications and opens a whole new world of great things to say and use when complimenting and opening a conversation with a woman IN a charming way.
Now the substitution part:
“You are gleaming today… Your marvelous smile just made my day wonderful.“
Yes – I understand it’s not as effective but that’s not the point of the exercise or this step.
The goal is to increase your vocabulary. Get you thinking about approaches and complimenting a woman, and put literally thousands a new fresh and unique ideas in your head.
They will stick so just let them seep in naturally.
Yes – get out and start using them as soon as you can. Sure you can try them on Facebook or any social media site but it’s not fully recommended just yet.
I had great luck when I started doing all this to practice it on picture rating sites and perfected my craft. They don’t really exist in the same way anymore and there’s not much I can do about it.
Just be CAREFUL practicing it on any social media site because other women will see it and unless you plan on turning into a Facebook Pickup artist you’ll do more harm than good – probably either way anyways.
If you’re interested in using the Facebook angle – download this first: FB Seduction System but I will WARN you, it’s not really aligned with what I teach or the type of guys I target my advice for so PLEASE use it with the most discretion. (That’s a pdf file secured here at DiaLteG TM.)
That’s it – no more steps to do.
I wanted to leave you off with some pointers and tips to round it all out. Rather than get into too many details in this part I’ll just throw them at you as they come to my mind.
The tone of your voice makes a huge difference in whether a woman will accept your compliment or blow you off right after. Practice saying it aloud and make sure it sounds good and you’re not rushing through it like you’re just reading a line.
You must also pay attention to your body language. Be open, confident, and don’t get in her face like you’re going to attack. Be smooth and she won’t feel like you’re creeping her.
Here’s my page on body language you should read as soon as possible: How & Why Your Body Language Communicates Attraction To Women – Learn To Control It and here’s my page on confidence to help you with that too: Why Confidence Is So Attractive to Women, What It Is, & How To Get It Quickly.
Don’t worry so much about being nervous. Most REAL women understand how hard it is to approach a stranger and she’ll give you credit for just trying – so go for it.
Again – just focus on keeping your body relaxed especially your jaw and lips. May good clean soft eye contact and she’ll likely overlook any stammering or nervousness you display.
Better to be ballsy than chicken. Most women understand this AND appreciate a guy who is willing to at least try.
Pay attention and listen to how she reacts.
If she says something besides “thank you” or “giggles” ask her a question about what she said. That’s all you have to do. Here’s the latest pages I made for you to help you with all the approach stuff: How To Approach Many Types of Women When They Look Inapproachable and Approach Women With No Anxiety & Fears – Four Words Changes Everything.
There a few more coming so keep stopping back or get on my newsletter below and I’ll try to let you know when I’m finished writing it all.
Remember – You’re just complimenting her. You’re just starting a fun conversation with her. It’s NOT the end of the world and you’re not creating a new one.
Today’s post will help you to achieve that goal and eventually it will become a natural and easy thing for you. So don’t get discouraged early, DO your homework, and keep going over pictures as often as you can.
From the beginning…
Based on my survey I gave to women and personal experience in these matters:
The FIRST thing a woman notices on you is your eyes and smile and they will subconsciously (unless you need serious help there) react to your body language.
Here’s my page you can go over on making a great first impression with any woman: How To Make A Great Impression On Her – 12 Things Women Look For In A Guy.
Women prefer to be approached by a guy who is charming and outgoing. When you meet a woman like this, the outgoing part takes care of itself.
The charming is more than lightly covered today so use every bit of it.
The conversation that comes after is something not covered today but I’m not going to mislead you – it’s VERY important so work on that skill IMMEDIATELY.
At the end of this article I cover a tiny bit of it: Where To Meet Women and Removing The Fears Of Approach Naturally. Skip to the end of it and you’ll find lots of articles to read on conversations.
Lastly – no post will be fully complete without the beat offers I can give you to round out and take your approaching women and starting conversation to the next masterful level. This the exact program I went through:
It will get there AND beyond.
I’m going to leave you one more wonderful picture of my wife that she let me use to help you out.
Feel free to leave your comments below on it and as long as you’re only trying what you’ve been taught today – I’ll post them up. In other words – no bullshit – got it? Good!