Have you ever heard of the 3 day no contact dating rule? It states you should wait 3 days before you call a girl after you’ve gotten her number.
Whether this applies to texting is not important because that old dating rule is total bullshit be it texting, messaging, or whatever social media you prefer to use.
The rule had a purpose which seemed legitimate:
It was meant to make a guy look cool, like he had a life or they’re “so busy”, and for certain guys it was important because right after they got a girl’s number – they’d turn into a needy wuss who acted desperate.
They acted from a place of “scarcity” or as if they had no real prospects.
They had a strong urge to get her before some other guy came along because they didn’t feel confident in their ability to attract and keep a woman.
However, when women figured out it was a game, it stopped working the way it was meant to work in the first place.
If you waited and called, she assumed you were following that stupid dating rule every other guy was doing and if she was only slightly interested in the guy, she wouldn’t even answer the call or text.
So it defeated its own purpose.
Here are the REAL solutions:
If you don’t want to appear needy – stop being so needy. Problem solved.
If you don’t want to appear desperate – stop acting so desperate to kiss her ass or get a date. Problem solved.
If you don’t have anything to do (not much of a life) get out and start doing things you love. Problem solved.
If you want to look cool – Call her early. Text her quickly.
Just don’t linger around and act like you need the attention or how you’re worried she’s going to meet another guy.
Don’t send a 100 texts or call her everyday when you haven’t even gone on a date yet.
Problem solved.
If you’re not sure how OFTEN to text her – read this:
“The more texts you send before meeting up with girl means the less of a chance you have of actually meeting up with her!”
If you’re not sure WHAT text message to send her – read this:
“ALL guys must learn how to text girls. Using your phone is too important these to not get your text messages down in a way which helps the attraction and not hurt it.
This guide is filled with examples, tips, a few downloads, and rules to get your “phone game” working for you and not against you.”
Bobby Rio Guide on How To Send Text Messages To Girls – Texting Rules
OR THIS:
You Can Blame It On Rio When She Eagerly Awaits Your Next Text Message
IF you want to know how to avoid all these rules then read these:
- Throw Out Dating Rules Book – Focus On Excitement and Fun
- How Ditching The Rules Can Get You More Dates
You can see from the “obvious” solutions offered that it appears men were looking for the “easy way” into a woman’s pants.
How if they just acted like they were a real man, they didn’t actually have to become one.
You’ll find a lot of the bullshit dating rules were invented or written to serve that very purpose. The easy quick method to getting laid without having to do any of the real work involved.
And like any other fad – they quickly fade.
They stop working because it’s not real and REAL women figure it out quickly.
You can only hide your insecurities for so long before you’re called out on it.
Using the 3 day no contact rule will essentially only prove to a woman – you are insecure and need to follow rules.
It’s just how a naturally attractive man with confidence acts.
So how long SHOULD you wait then before you contact her? When you get her info, what’s the standard wait time which works every time?
Okay – If you’ve been following along – I’m NOT going to give you a rule because there is NO standard procedure.
It’s contextual.
Which basically means where and when you meet her will generally dictate when you should call or text her.
How you meet also makes a difference. Was it from a friend of a friend, at a club or bar, a coffee shop, a grocery store, etc…
What also determines the time frame to contacting is YOU and YOUR LIFE. How busy you actually are. What your schedule is like. How many things you got going on when you first meet her.
Those things (and more) must be considered before you come to a conclusion on the first contact you make with her.
Generally speaking – if you must know some rule – get back to her within a reasonable amount of time to let her know you’re not just some dude out there farming numbers.
This will show here that you’re a real genuine guy.
How you enjoyed meeting her and you’re looking forward to setting up a date very soon.
If you wait too long, she’ll forget she even gave you her number anyways and believe me that happens to lots of guys so don’t let it be you.
Just don’t let some standard old rule dictate your dating life.
Do things on your own terms. Women like that shit.
If you’re not a needy desperate guy, call her when you can because she KNOWS you’re not that type of guy.
Probably why you got her number in the first place.
If you’re not riddled with insecurities, she will get that from you right away. So calling her early won’t change how she feels about you.
It won’t even cross her mind. Just don’t act insecure and you’ll be okay. It won’t ruin your chance with her.
“First of all, blanket rules are rarely practical or effective.
What’s much more valuable to you is having the fundamental understanding of where her head is at so you can judge for yourself and adjust to fit the situation. You have to have an adaptive system to decide these things for yourself.”
When Do You Call A Woman? Should You Leave A Message After Meeting Her?
This all seems so basic you might be wondering “What the fuck dude?!” This is not advice. I could’ve figured this out on my own.
Well you’re absolutely right which is a GOOD thing because attraction, attracting a girl, being a more attractive man is NOT rocket science.
The basic rules which apply are very general and they’re really just about being socially aware and not socially awkward or displeasing to others.
The REAL part of attraction is communication and that’s the part where you’ll find it so counter-intuitive you’re more likely to screw it up.
That’s the part in which lots of guys need help or skills to achieve.
Throwing an outdated dating rule your way won’t help you, it can only hurt you.
The REAL harder part of attracting girls is getting a good handle on yourself and working or fixing the areas where you might be failing or lacking in.
Once you’ve done that, it comes down to HOW you communicate yourself to others, not just women.
Again, which is a skill too many guys don’t understand because they’re not intuitive and they’re not taught to you by the appropriate people growing up.
If your main focus or current question has anything to do with how long you should wait to text or call a girl after you got her number – you’re either looking for a quick fix which will ultimately fail or not work for you, or you’re new to this stuff so you just need a push in the right direction.
Cool – because that new direction was hopefully found here today.
Here’s the list again from above to help you with your “texting” game:
- DOWNLOAD – 7 Deadly Texting Mistakes
- Bobby Rio Guide on How To Send Text Messages To Girls – Texting Rules
- You Can Blame It On Rio When She Eagerly Awaits Your Next Text Message
Here are a few about losing all the dating rules and making your own:
- Throw Out Dating Rules Book – Focus On Excitement and Fun
- How Ditching The Rules Can Get You More Dates
When it comes down to calling her – now that you know when is the perfect time – you’re going to want to know WHAT to SAY:
- Conversation Topics That Keep Her Attention, Charm Her and Attract Her
- How to Avoid Awkward Silences with Women – Conversation Techniques
- How to Have Better Conversations with Women
- The Six Deadliest Conversation Mistakes You Make With Women
- Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy
Any questions – just let me know below.
