Our beliefs come in many forms.
There’s the limited ones which slow down or impede our ability to be or become an attractive man and there’s the ones which can propel us quicker to attracting women.
It seems using the “better” beliefs to our advantage comes down to several things but the main ingredient to make them work for us is TRUST.
One of my many beliefs is: Positive statements do NOT work at least the way we would like them.
Remember Jim Carey in the now classic movie “Liar Liar” where he sings in the elevator, “I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.” A great scene yes, but it also happens to be a poke at self-help affirmations because the writers probably also believe it themselves.
Don’t do them because they do NOT work!
Let me explain…
Attractive men are not guys who sit around telling themselves how much they believe in themselves.
They’re not gazing at the mirror trying to believe they’re better-looking than they are.
They’re not affirming to themselves that, “Looks are not important” and they are certainly NOT psyching themselves up before they ever approach a woman. ( Mostly I suppose. )
How attractive you can be (with regards to your beliefs) will almost always come down to trust and trusting the skills you’re practicing.
When you’re good at something it’s because you did it right many times BUT you also failed many more times before you actually started getting it right.
At some point you trusted in your ability to perform a certain task even though you know you’re never going to get it right ALL the time.
Just the same as a professional ball player never goes through their entire career without making an error unless they give up after one successful out.
Also, each time the ball rushes their way at 80 miles an hour ( I’m guessing) they have absolutely NO time to affirm their talent.
They TRUST they know how to do it because they’ve practiced it and failed enough times to realize their talent.
They trust in their ability and GET OUT of their own way.
They let their experience speak for itself. They allow their body to do what it was appropriately trained to do.
” Measure Skills, Not Results. Men usually like results. (…) You fixed up your dream car. Your team won. Your investments went up 15%… You slept with this many women. Etc. You can’t do this with women and dating. Being results-focused will actually hurt your game. 7 Tips To Increase Your Game With Women“
When you can do that – with regards to women and attraction – trusting in your skills and your non-limiting beliefs – realizing perfection is not a goal – that mistakes DO happen and that you have no time to affirm your skills before every play (with a woman) – you’ll quickly realize and understand THAT is the true mark or trait of a very attractive man.
There’s one more thing I believe in which is related to positive affirmations and that is…
Negative statements do work!
They will cause you to over-think and analyze every situation with a woman.
They will have you second guessing yourself, herself, and everything you’re doing AND they will spread to the people around you – up to and including a beautiful woman.
Another point: You can NOT positively reinforce your beliefs with negative actions.
Ever know someone who was trying to quit smoking? I have. She wore a rubber band around her wrist and every time she wanted to smoke she tugged hard and then “Snap!”
Did it help her to quit? Absolutely not.
Because each negative action wasn’t positively reinforcing anything.
Negative statements or actions are not understood by our mind because the mind has no concept of “NOT.” It only knows how to DO.
You can not walk around telling yourself NOT to do something. You don’t tell yourself NOT to walk there. Instead you either CHOOSE to stay or GO.
You DO what’s right and trust your non-limiting beliefs will work out positively in the end.
If you don’t know what’s right – then learn something relevant and focus on getting it right – then shut off your mind and try it. Trust it will work most of the time and learn from the failures.
You may be wondering what does all this shit have to do with being an attractive man or hoping we’ll get something we can use to make the “trusting in your non-limiting beliefs”work for us.
A tough question but a perfectly valid one.
First – Look around you and notice how many people you see who are always questioning themselves and what is going on around them.
Their indecisiveness leaks into every area of their lives.
I have found “highly attractive men” are decisive one way or another. Mind you I didn’t say they’re always right.
They have a certain trust which causes them to move a little slower.
They have supreme patience in lots of what they do and sometimes they actually appear that they are one step ahead of everything.
Indecisiveness is a lack of trust in what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, what you’re expecting after, how you might handle the success and failure, and so much more.
When you trust yourself and trust the world around you is going to give you all you need to succeed, then you begin expect things to happen AND they quite often do.
Within reason of course and understanding what trust really means. If you sit around doing nothing while believing the world’s going to hand you a millions dollars then you probably are misinterpreting the concept.
How about this?
Women who find themselves attracted to “attractive” men in a way always feel like he is one step ahead of her. He moves slower than her and always at his own pace no matter what is happening around him.
She must match that pace to gain his interest and follow his leadership and if she’s feeling it enough, she will more than likely gladly do it. ( The opposite proves the truth here – if she’s setting the pace – she quickly loses interest or attraction because she’s no longer playing the feminine role. )
Her trust in his leadership sets up many things like dominance to her submissiveness, he control the pace of the flirting, he can push, pull, chase her a little and even allow her to chase him, etc…
You name it.
Much of it starts with her trust in him and his trust starts with a positive belief in himself. These thing don’t normally happen for a guy who simply walks around spouting positive affirmations hoping they’ll work.
For example – Have you ever noticed a guy in any line who was always fidgeting almost like he didn’t know what to do with his hands and what his feet should be doing. He doesn’t even seem to know how to stand or where he should be looking.
This obvious display comes down to not trusting himself, not trusting or believing in his connection to the world, and the indecision that follows causes him to constantly search for a certain comfort and women rarely feel attracted to it…
He doesn’t look comfortable in his own skin – he doesn’t appear to be in the present but in a constant state of un-sureness in himself.
Attractive men are very comfortable in their own skin. So much it’s almost mind-boggling how much trust he has in himself and his connection to the world around him.
All this – with regards to actually becoming an even more attractive man seems to follow a pattern…
Women feel more attracted to men who lead themselves. She trusts that even when he fails he’s not going to let him affect things too negatively.
The trust he has in himself spills over to her belief in him too making it easier to feel something deeper with him.
If she trusts his dominance is not misleading or abusive or is simply a power struggle to control her – she’s more likely to accept “submission” and fall for him even more.
If he trusts that his ability to flirt ( because he’s practiced and prefect the art while failing many times first ) is beyond capable she’s more likely to follow along and test him or enjoy the interaction more because when we flirt we tend to become slightly emotional and thus more attracted.
If he trust his decisions no matter what the outcome, she’ll soon find herself in many other woman’s desires because most Women LOVE decisive men for many reasons – none of which I’m going to mention.
I guess you’re just going to have to trust me on that one.
My point is – you want to be a more attractive man – well then obviously there are certain skills and understandings which must happen but for them to work the way they’re supposed to – sooner or later you have to trust they WILL work even if they fail from time to time.