You gathered all your courage, the night was going great, you thought there was a connection, so you closed your eyes and leaned in for the kiss BUT she pulled back - flat out rejected you.
She's been your great friend for a long time and finally, in what you thought was the PERFECT moment, you told her - "I think I love you." - You eagerly await her response and it feels so right BUT she darts her eyes away from yours and says, "Awww that's sweet - but I don't want to ruin the friendship. I just don't like you in that way."
You've been getting coffee at the same shop and the cute cashier seems to flirt with you everyday. You think you have a shot at her so you "man-up" or "suit-up" or whatever and say, "I'd love to go out with you sometime. Can I have your phone number?" and your worst fears come true... the PUBLIC REJECTION as she politely says,
"No.... Sorry. I'm kind of busy and not interested in dating someone right now. But thank you."
Being rejected sucks, doesn't it. Let me know your story below and let it out.
Today's post will deal with rejections and explore the possibility of there being any reasonable CHANCE you can change her mind.
They are very specific so if you having "general" rejection problems with women this may not be your post but no worries - start here, figure out why you're failing with women, and we'll get this thing handled, promise:
Let's begin with some very important distinctions between women and girls because it's necessary in figuring out IF there's still a chance for you.
There are women and there are girls. Women being older, mature, and more decided in what they want out of their life. Girls being younger and less aware of what they're looking for and how to go about getting it.
This needs to be said because when it comes to being rejected there's even more of a notable difference:
If a girl rejects you - based on the circumstances of course - there might be still be chance.
Girls are more apt to change and experience a mindset shift. Younger girls change their mind all the time and appear to be a little less set in their ways.
A girl can also reject you accidentally.
She could be just unsure of herself and you, inexperienced and not know how to handle certain situations where attraction is involved, and she could react badly to your approach to her.
If a woman rejects you - and you're around her age - circumstances once again aside - the chance of her changing her mind within a reasonable time goes down to practically ZERO.
Which means it's probably not going to happen with her... ever.
Unless of course the same holds true - Some women are quite unsure of themselves, don't understand men, and also react badly to some men approaching them out of insecurity, anxiety, and fear.
The reality of being rejected by a woman, or the reason why it usually happens she feels little or attraction and if that's the case, changing her mind is the last thing that could ever happen.
Once she forms an impression of you, no amount of anything is going to change that - theoretically speaking.
But it's not all bad news... yet.
Now that I've separated the "girls" from the "women" let's talk about this whole "rejection" thing a little deeper so you can easily tell if there's ever going to be a chance to change her mind.
There are a few relative forms of rejection and knowing which one you're in can make all the difference in the world as for turning into something more.
The casual sometimes heartless rejection.
This usually comes up while you're approaching a woman. Maybe you said "Hello" to her or gave her a compliment and she blew you off. She said "no thanks" or "not interested" - either something rude or not from her - it's still a rejection.
They suck they really do but fear not - the pain doesn't last long. You didn't know her anyways. I'm positive there are plenty of available who'd be happy to chat with you IF you do it right.
Here are my best ideas to limit being rejected in these cases:
Is there still a chance in these circumstances?
Most likely NO and trying to reverse what has already happened is a BIG waste of your time.
Your best chance at success is to re-think your game and fix it IF it needs fixing.
Sometimes you're going to meet (or not meet) women who are either in their own world too deeply, don't like to be approached by strangers, are actually with someone, OR are just dare I say bitches who "don't take kindly to folks like you and me."
The one article above deals specifically with cases like that:
The one tried method to reverse the rejection in this case can prove to help you however it relies heavily on circumstance (where she is - where it happened - when it happened) AND using PERSISTENCE the right way.
Persistence is NOT simply a matter of bugging the shit out of a woman. It is not - NOT taking no for an answer either.
Persistence can be a very attractive trait but how it's related to creating attraction is often misunderstood. It's definitely not trying to convince a woman to feel something for you and give up her contact information...
It's the most attractive to women when it's used as an approach to life.
It's about being relentless in overcoming any challenges or setbacks.
IF you can prove that to a woman with charm and wit in a very indirect way - which is going to be tough - you can certainly reverse the causal rejection as it relates to getting her number or getting her to go out on a date with you.
If that cute girl or woman who makes your coffee every morning rejected you with a kind smile - USE some good old fashioned charm, wit, and throw in some cocky/comedy - keep trying nicely and sure - I'm willing to bet you can change her mind more easily than you might believe.
Sometimes - in those circumstances - women just need to see you a few times and to talk with you a bit before they feel comfortable enough to take it to the next step.
Let's move on to the next form of rejection and see if it is reversible.
The Dreaded "Friends Zone" Rejection - The Worst Kind!
This rejection is often misunderstood and causes a severe amount of pain and suffering.
Nothing stings more than falling in love with your friend and (finally) revealing your feelings for her when all you get back is the dreaded, "I only see you as a friend." OR the classic excuse, "I don't want to ruin our friendship." which IS an excuse just to spare your feelings.
I'd say the friends zone rejection is the most common reason why a guy will seek out any answer to this problem because he's looking for a way out of it, he wants to change her mind the most, and he wants someone to tell him that she's either hiding her feelings for him that there's still a chance they can be together.
I am an EXPERT on the friends zone. No lie, I really and can not think of one good reason why I would bullshit you on that sad note.
I know exactly how you get in one, what it feels like to be in many ones with many different women, what it does to your mental state of mind, and how (if possible) you can get out of it or escape its nasty clutches.
Here's the proof and if you've been rejected with the "Let's just be friends" or if you're not sure if you're even in it, make sure you go through each and every article as quickly as you can:
- Can a Woman Secretly Love a Man She Put in the Friend Zone?
- How You Too Can Escape & Get Out Of Her Friends Zone – How I Did It!
- 10 Clear Signs She Has Put You In Her Friends Zone & Does She Like You?
- Stuck In The Friends Zone With A Girl You Love? Here’s How to Get Out!
- She Isn’t Attracted to You! Should You Try Getting Out Of Her Friends Zone?
I hope you're ready for the cold-hard truth about the friends zone rejection.
It's not impossible to get out but the facts remain tested and proven over time:
"FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE.
For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
One can lead to another, but it’s RARE when it happens.
One CAN lead to another, but it’s RARE.
“Romantic” relationships are very different from “friend” relationships.
While most men would sleep with most of their female “friends” if the woman “came on” to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider “just friends“.
But why is this?
How do women differentiate between “just friends” and “I’ll be intimate with you”?
And why is it so hard to become “more than friends” with a woman you’ve been “just friends” with for a long time?
I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women “know” when they want to “be intimate” with a man… and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women “know” when they DON’T want to “be intimate” with a man…
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she’s with is “friend” material or “lover” material is how she FEELS.
It’s a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
It is NOT logic.
She might USE logic to “rationalize” her decision… or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either “being with” or “not being with” a particular guy.
But don’t let that distract you.
Logic isn’t important AT ALL in this context."
You end up in the friends zone because you put yourself there or failed to create a deeper attraction in the early stages of your interactions with her.
AND once she's made her emotionally mind up about you she will barely budge from that perception of you.
She's rejecting you because she doesn't feel what is necessary for her to risk the friendship and/or she's just not attracted to you emotionally or physically.
I'm a positive person and since I've been through this many times - I actually DO believe you can reverse the friends zone rejection BUT there's no "winging" it method.
You have to follow a very specific plan with the understanding there's no guaranteed you'll get her.
However there's some great news here:
I WILL guarantee that if you follow the plan the right way - you will NEVER end up in any woman's friends zone again UNLESS it's your choice to be there.
Here are the 3 steps. Follow them exactly:
Getting Rejected - Is There Really A Chance to Change Her Mind?
When you consider all the possible rejections as to why it happens things can get quite confusing.
Add to that a certain stubbornness or belief there's still a chance something else is at play here:
Trying to change her mind, which is pointless because attraction does not work that way - you have to change her emotions or reboot her attraction process which I wrote about here:
It appears to me this is becoming more of a deflection for you, you're avoiding the truth, relying too heavily on hope to mask your true feelings, or you have an inability to just let something go in a healthy, mature, responsible way.
I understand how hard it is.
The feelings don't just go away.
It takes a while before that happens and in the meantime you're stuck dealing with the rejection and trying your hardest to not let it ruin your current life or worse yet - have it spill over into any new interactions you have with women.
I've been rejected many times in my life where I refused to give up and I must honestly admit - the better choice was to walk away and to consider "something else" or someone else.
The times I made myself believe there was still a chance only delayed the inevitable and that lost time could've been spent in a much more productive way - like finding a woman who I did like who would not reject me.
Asking the question, "If a girl rejects me is there still a chance?" doesn't seem to be the right question to ask on a man's journey to not only become a more attractive man but to actually succeed in finding the right woman AND attracting her too.
The quicker more beneficial and healthy answer will always be a resounding:
"NO. There isn't a chance."
Saving lots of time to figure out if it's a pattern in your life - which can be easily fixed or if it's one time thing and all is well - another woman will certainly come along soon enough.
After all there are lots of them out there.
Why bother wasting valuable time "trying" to make something happen which SHOULD naturally happens by itself because when it doesn't - and you try to force it - you've just made the healing process take longer than it could.
Attraction is not meant to be forced and you can never coerce someone into feeling something no matter how much effort you put into it AND this certainly includes trying the whole romantic angle.
Romancing a woman for months or years hoping she'll cave in (based on persistence alone) from my experience rarely if ever leads to something better than what a strong natural attraction felt from the very beginning can.
The longer you try to romance her into liking you guarantees you'll find out SHE has been in control of you the whole time - and you'll never have any personal power in the (maybe) relationship anyways.
When a girl seriously "rejects" you, whether it's the hard or easy way, whether she's rude or nice about it, whether she gives you a pack of lies to spare your feelings, whether she unknowingly gives you a real reason to not like her anyways...
It's time to move on to bigger and better things.
Hanging about hoping, thinking you can change her mind never turns out good.
(Actually sometimes it becomes more of what a stalker would do and I know that's not what you want to be labeled as.)
Delaying the healing process will have a devastating effect on your confidence and self-esteem. And that stuff is VERY important and needed in attracting a great woman. You know that.
It's best to let it go.
Don't take it any of it personal.
Learn something valuable from it that you can use for the rest of your life.
Learn to ask more important relevant questions which can help you in the long run of life, relationships, happiness, and becoming a more attractive real man, rather than the quick useless answer you get from wondering "if there's still a chance".
Move on as quickly as you can.
If you're struggling to get past the pain, if you can not get it out of your mind and heart, if you can not seem to find a way to let it go...
Then please - read this; I wrote it just for you and from my personal experience of being rejected by lots of girls and women in my life: