Which one of or more of these rejections have happened to you? I've been there multiple times. Tough to make this stuff up when it hurts so bad.
You gathered all your courage, the night was going great, you thought there was a connection with her, you closed your eyes and leaned in for the kiss... and then BAMM!
She pulled back and gave you that "look" ... Flat out rejected you.
She's been your great friend for a long time and finally, in what you thought was the PERFECT moment, you told her
"I think I love you."
You eagerly await for her response. It feels so good to let it all out.
You just know without a doubt she's going to come running into your awaiting arms...
BUT her eyes quickly dart away as she's looks down then slightly back up again. She quietly mutters with a slight smirk on her face,
"Awww that's soooo sweet - but I don't want to ruin the friendship. I just don't like you that way."
You've been getting coffee at the same shop and the cute cashier seems to flirt with you everyday.
You think you have a shot at her so you "man-up" or "suit-up" or whatever and say,
"I'd love to go out with you sometime. Can I have your phone number?"
Despite all your courage and the time you spent getting ready for this moment, your worst fears come true and smack you hard in the balls!
You know it's coming because it's like the whole shop went silent so EVERYONE could here your PUBLIC REJECTION as she politely but loudly says,
"No.... Sorry. I'm really busy. I'm not interested in dating someone right now. But thank you."
Being rejected sucks big time, doesn't it?
Today's post will deal with rejections and explore the possibility of there ever being any reasonable CHANCE you can change her mind.
They are very specific so if you having "general" rejection problems with women this may not be your post.
No worries - start here, figure out why you're failing with women, and we'll get this thing handled, promise:
Let us begin discussing a few very important distinctions between women and girls because it's necessary to figure out IF there actually is still a chance for you to turn things around and get her on your side.
Women being older, mature, and more decided in what they want out of their life.
Girls being younger and less aware of what they're looking for and how to go about getting it.
This needs to be said because when it comes to being rejected there's even more of a notable difference:
If a girl rejects you - based on the circumstances of course - there might be still be chance.
Girls are more apt to change and experience a mindset shift. Younger girls change their mind all the time and appear to be a little less set in their ways.
A girl can also reject you accidentally.
She could be just unsure of herself and you, inexperienced and not know how to handle certain situations where attraction is involved, and she could react badly to your approach to her.
If a woman rejects you - and you're around her age - circumstances once again aside - the chance of her changing her mind within a reasonable time goes down to practically ZERO.
Which means it's probably not going to happen with her... ever!
Unless of course the same holds true - Some women are quite unsure of themselves, don't understand men, and also react badly to some men approaching them out of insecurity, anxiety, and fear.
The reality of being rejected by a woman, or the reason why it usually happens she feels little or attraction and if that's the case, changing her mind is the last thing that could ever happen.
Once she forms an impression of you, no amount of anything is going to change that - theoretically speaking.
"The bottom line is that if you interact with a woman long enough that she forms an “impression” of you, and she doesn't “feel it” for you, then you're done.
And no amount of chasing her around, buying her things, and being “nice” is going to do the trick.
It's NOT a CHOICE, man!"
Before you scurry away with your balls tucked in between your legs...
It's not all bad news... well just yet a least.
Now that I've separated the "girls" from the "women" let's talk about this whole "rejection" thing a little deeper so you can easily tell if there's ever going to be a chance to change her mind.
There are a few relative forms of rejection and knowing which one you're in can make all the difference in turning it into something more.
The casual sometimes heartless rejection.
This usually comes up while you're approaching a woman. Maybe you said "Hello" to her or gave her a compliment and she blew you off.
She said "no thanks" or "not interested" - either something rude or not from her - it's still a rejection.
They suck, they really do, but fear not - the pain doesn't last long.
You didn't know her anyways. I'm positive there are plenty of available women who'd be happy to chat with you IF you do it right.
Members here at DiaLteG™ get full access to all my tips and tricks on approaching women in lesson 11:
(Those are all only preview pages.)
Is there still a chance in these "cold approach" situations?
Most likely NO and trying to reverse what has already happened is a BIG waste of your time.
Your best chance at success is to re-think your game and fix it IF it needs fixing.
Sometimes you're going to meet (or not meet) women who are either in their own world too deeply, don't like to be approached by strangers, are actually with someone, or are just dare I say bitches who "don't take kindly to folks like you and me."
The one article above deals specifically with cases like that:
The one tried method to reverse the rejection in this case can prove to help you however it relies heavily on circumstance (where she is - where it happened - when it happened) AND using PERSISTENCE the right way.
Persistence is NOT simply a matter of bugging the shit out of a woman. It is not - NOT taking no for an answer either.
Persistence can be a very attractive trait but how it's related to creating attraction is often misunderstood. It's definitely not trying to convince a woman to feel something for you and give up her contact information to yo...
It's the most attractive to women when it's used as an approach to life.
It's about being relentless in overcoming any challenges or setbacks.
IF you can prove that to a woman with charm and wit in a very indirect way - which is going to be tough, you can certainly reverse the causal rejection as it relates to getting her number or getting her to go out on a date with you.
If that cute girl or woman who makes your coffee every morning rejected you with a kind smile, USE some good old fashioned charm, wit, and throw in some cocky/comedy.
Keep trying nicely and sure, I'm willing to bet you can change her mind more easily than you might believe.
Sometimes - in those circumstances - women just need to see you a few times and to talk with you a bit before they feel comfortable enough to take it to the next step.
This is the best method to use:
Let's move on to the next form of rejection and see if it is reversible.
The Dreaded "Friends Zone" Rejection - The Worst Kind!
This rejection is often misunderstood and causes a severe amount of pain and suffering.
Nothing stings more than falling in love with your friend and (finally) revealing your feelings for her when all you get back is the dreaded,
"I only see you as a friend."
OR the classic excuse,
"I don't want to ruin our friendship."
Which, I hate to tell you, even though you know it's true, is just an excuse she's giving you to spare your feelings and make her feel good about herself.
The friends zone rejection is the most common reason why a guy will seek out any answer to this problem because he's looking for a way out of it.
He wants to change her mind the most and he wants someone to tell him that she's either hiding her feelings for him and that there's still a chance they can be together.
I AM AN EXPERT on the friends zone. No lie, I really and can not think of one good reason why I would bullshit you on that sad note.
I know exactly how you get in one, what it feels like to be in many ones with many different women, what it does to your mental state of mind, and how (if possible) you can get out of it or escape its nasty clutches.
Here's the proof and if you've been rejected with the "Let's just be friends" or if you're not sure if you're even in it, make sure you go through each and every article as quickly as you can:
- Can a Woman Secretly Love a Man She Put in the Friend Zone?
- How You Too Can Escape & Get Out Of Her Friends Zone – How I Did It!
- 10 Clear Signs She Has Put You In Her Friends Zone & Does She Like You?
- Stuck In The Friends Zone With A Girl You Love? Here’s How to Get Out!
- She Isn’t Attracted to You! Should You Try Getting Out Of Her Friends Zone?
I hope you're ready for the cold-hard truth about the friends zone rejection.
It's not impossible to get out but the facts remain tested and proven over time so keep your hopes down to a minimum please.
One woman thinks she can get you out and your money is refundable so if you're willing to try, go see Marni. The video doesn't play but the information is still there:
Here's the absolute from the master himself:
"FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE.
For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
One can lead to another, but it’s RARE when it happens.
One CAN lead to another, but it’s RARE.
“Romantic” relationships are very different from “friend” relationships.
While most men would sleep with most of their female “friends” if the woman “came on” to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider “just friends“.
But why is this?
How do women differentiate between “just friends” and “I’ll be intimate with you”?
And why is it so hard to become “more than friends” with a woman you’ve been “just friends” with for a long time?
I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women “know” when they want to “be intimate” with a man… and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women “know” when they DON’T want to “be intimate” with a man…
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she’s with is “friend” material or “lover” material is how she FEELS.
It’s a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
It is NOT logic.
She might USE logic to “rationalize” her decision… or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either “being with” or “not being with” a particular guy.
But don’t let that distract you.
Logic isn’t important AT ALL in this context."
You end up in the friends zone because you put yourself there, or failed to create a deeper attraction in the early stages of your interactions with her.
Once she's made her emotionally mind up about you she will barely budge from that first perception of you.
She's rejecting you because she doesn't feel what is necessary enough to risk the friendship and/or she's just not attracted to you emotionally and physically.
I'm a positive person and since I've been through this many times, I actually DO believe you can reverse the friends zone rejection BUT there's no "winging" it method.
You have to follow a very specific plan with the understanding there's no guaranteed you'll get her.
However there's some great news here:
I WILL guarantee that if you follow the plan the right way - you will NEVER end up in any woman's friends zone again UNLESS it's your choice to be there.
Here are MY 3 steps. Preview page. Full access is for paid members only:
Getting Rejected - Is There Really A Chance to Change Her Mind?
When you consider all the possible rejections and why they happen, it can get very confusing.
If you remain stubborn and refuse to do something different, it will only get even more confusing and frustrating too.
My point is, give up on trying to change her mind, it won't work.
What you must do is alter or change her emotions and the "reboot" her attraction process:
Again, a refusal to start over and follow a new plan means you're deflecting. You're avoiding the truth and relying too heavily on hope to mask your true feelings that you're unwilling to face.
You're developing (or already have a mindset) an inability to just let something go in a healthy, mature, responsible way.
I understand how hard it is.
The feelings don't just go away, do they?
It takes a while for that to happen and in the meantime, you're stuck dealing with the rejection.
You're trying your hardest to not let it ruin your current life and it's spilling over into any new interactions you have with women. Making it more difficult to let it go.
I've been rejected many times in my life where I refused to give up and I must honestly admit, the better choice was to walk away and to consider "something else" or someone else.
The times I made myself believe there was still a chance only delayed the inevitable and that lost time could've been spent in a much more productive way, like finding a woman who I did like who would not reject me.
I can tell you this:
Asking the seeming innocent question, "If a girl rejects me is there still a chance?" is not what should be coming out of your head IF you want things to start changing for you.
When you get rejected, it's time to be OBJECTIVE.
You must assess your situation logically without any emotional attachment to the outcome because that is where your real answer will show up.
Being objective will help you see if this is a pattern in your life which can be easily fixed, or if it's one time thing and all is well because another woman will certainly come along soon enough.
After all, there are lots of women out there just begging for the right real guy to come their way.
Why bother wasting your valuable time trying to force something to happen that happens naturally (attraction and getting together) because when it doesn't, when you try to force it and it fails, the healing process will take longer than it should.
Attraction can not be forced. You can not coerce someone into feeling something and remain morally right no matter how much effort or forced romance you put into it.
Romancing a woman for months or years hoping she'll cave in (based on persistence alone) from my experience, rarely if ever leads to something better than what a strong natural attraction felt from the very beginning can achieve.
The longer you try to romance her into liking you guarantees you'll find out SHE has been in control of you the whole time and you'll never have any personal power in the (maybe) relationship anyways.
When a girl seriously "rejects" you, whether it's the hard or easy way, whether she's rude or nice about it, whether she gives you a pack of lies to spare your feelings, whether she unknowingly gives you a real reason to not like her anyways...
It's time to move on to bigger and better things.
Hanging about hoping and thinking you can change her mind never turns out good.
(Actually sometimes it becomes more of what a stalker would do and I know that's not what you want to be labeled as.)
Delaying the healing process will have a devastating effect on your confidence and self-esteem.
And that stuff is VERY important and needed in attracting a great woman.
You know that.
It's best to let it go.
Don't take it any of it personal.
Learn something valuable from it that you can use for the rest of your life.
Learn to ask more important relevant questions which can help you in the long run of life, relationships, happiness, and becoming a more attractive real man, rather than the quick useless answer you get from wondering "if there's still a chance".
Move on as quickly as you can.
If you're struggling to get past the pain, if you can not get it out of your mind and heart, if you can not seem to find a way to let it all go...
Become a member of DiaLteG™ and read this lesson immediately:
(The link above is only a preview version.)